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anticipatory grief
Hi everyone I'm a newbie here, and I will start the caregiving 'journey' tomorrow. I always thought that journey was something to look forward to...not anymore. I think a new word needs to be used, since journey sounds too nice for what's coming. I don't mean to sound pessimistic- it's just that I'm so scared. Scared of…
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anticipatory grief
Hi everyone I'm a newbie here, and I will start the caregiving 'journey' tomorrow. I always thought that journey was something to look forward to...not anymore. I think a new word needs to be used, since journey sounds too nice for what's coming. I don't mean to sound pessimistic- it's just that I'm so scared. Scared of…
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My husband has MDS & preparing for stem cell transplant
Hi all, This is my first post here and I'm happy I found this place. (Is there also a chat room for us caregivers?) Anyway, my husband Brian was diagnosed with Myelodysplastic Syndrome (MDS) in June. We just found out this week that one of his sisters is a FULL match for a bone marrow/stem cell transplant. (Which is…
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FOR ALL THE CAREGIVERS FEELING BLUE, STRESSED, OR MISUNDERSTOOD
People in general do not understand what being a caregiver entails. Many of us are sleep deprived, stressed, anxious, and very few understand. I wanted to say to all of you, I understand how you feel. Here is a list of what I personally encounter, please feel free to add to the list. Family and Friends love to say if you…
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My Mom is gone
I found this forum during my own caregiving time with my Mom who battled BC, and I took great comfort in reading everyone's stories, shared in your pains and struggles, and appreciated all the advice and encouraging words. I hope by sharing some of my own here, it'll help give comfort to someone out there. April 2016 - Mom…
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Caregiver problem
My problem is a little different. My boyfriend of 12 years was recently diagnosed with gall bladder/liver cancer and I am going to be his primary caregiver. But I just discovered he has been cheating on me. I'm stunned and havent confronted him as he is having surgery in four days. But I feel like the floor has been pulled…
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Caregiver, Girl friend, breast cancer, more angry at me every day, now scary!
Hello, I feel bad about writing about my problem. I have ready so much with much much worse situations. Bare with me as I say, poor me. I feel this is so selfish. But I believe my relationship is over and I just want to understand what happened. I met her a little over a year ago. She was amazing and at the time we did not…
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Opioid addiction after being in remission 5+ years
My mom has survived stage 4 metastatic melanoma. She has been tumor free for 5+ years. Her various doctors have continued to prescribe her opioids and benzodiazepines along with a long list of other medications. The only chemo related side effects she has now is osteoarthriti. Has anyone else had a loved one addicted after…
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Financial Help for caregivers
Hello All I am the caregiver for my mother. I have been taking care of her for over 2 years. She was only supposed to live 6 months after being diagnosed but we have managed to keep her alive so far and fighting everyday for it. I have left my life and work in Europe and my family there(daughter/wife) as well to come back…
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my husband is doing so bad and just went to hospice
I just needed to vent and know that there are people that care. My husband had a really bad night last night. He was telling and confused and moving from place to place. This morning, he couldn't move. He couldn't walk. He was so confused and angry. I had to call hospice. He's there now and they say he's resting…
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Starting Chemo. What Questions to ask oncologist?
Hello, My father recently discovered his rare bile duct cancer has returned to a nearby lymph node. Bile duct cancer is a not curable and all we are left with is hope that the chemo will control the growth of the cancer. I am in a dilemma because my Italian parents are not open to natorpathic approaches nor do they seem to…
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Having a hard time as a caregiver
Friends, I've been having a tough time the past few weeks. Although my wife received an ok scan (things are stable), the stress is building. She's been fighting for over 6 years. It's the doctors that cause me stress. Their bed side manner is atrocious which makes it hard for me to stay positive for my self and my wife.…
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Partner with cancer is verbally abusice
Hey everyone, My name is Ashley and I am new here. I need some advice from an outsiders point of view. My fiance is Lindsey and she was diagnosed with Ovarian cancer. Since she has been diagnosed and recieved pain meds her mood swings have gotten worse. She was moody before and now they are so much more magnified. It…
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Keeping Hope, Staying Realistic
Hello all, I am a new member and already reading these posts has been so healing. It's nice to know that there are people who are experiencing something similar to myself. I have a great support system, but it seems like people don't really understand unless cancer has happened to someone they love. My mom was diagnosed…
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Bladder won't fill for radiation
My wife had her 8th radiation treatment for stage 2 cervical cancer last night. Before going to radiation she was given 2.5 hours of fluids intravenously and was done with that approx 45 minutes before radiation. In that 45 min. she drank 48 oz. of water and her bladder still wasn't full? Out of the 8 treatments her…
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Feeling Isolatated & Misunderstood
Hey everyone. This is my first post to the discussion board but have been reading posts since my wife was diagnosed in October 2016. My 26 year old wife and I (31) got married in September 2016 and about 4 weeks after our marriage she was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer that had spread to the liver. About a month…
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Awaiting my own Biopsy results
I seriously don't know if I can make it until Thursday to find out the results of my biopsy, this is going to be a very long week. I lost my first husband to Liver Cancer and am currently caring for my Husband of 4 years who has battled Bladder Cancer for the last 2years. He entered Hospice just 3 weeks ago. Me being the…
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Just starting---too scared to ask
My husband was just diagnosed, Prostate cancer, stage 4 with bone mets all over. Lupron is working together with blood transfusions, but with low kidney function, we'll be adding procrit this week. Too far gone --- with bad kidneys, chemo and radiation aren't options. However, right now, he feels to good to be dying. With…
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I am checking in on y'all.. how are YOU ?
my friends all tell me to take time for "me" .. which I do.. sometimes I feel like I take too much for me but I am trying to keep some sort of pre C normalcy as to how we lived before the DX. I feel guilty sometimes but have to shake it off. It's hard to figure out what is right or wrong (if that's even the case) anyways,…
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How to approach school
Hello, My mother was just diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma and will possibly need a Stem Cell transplant sometime during October/November. Of course I will want to be there with her as much as possible, especially because my father has a full time job and will not be able to be there as much as he would like. I was…
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At breaking point caregiving w/full time job
My partner was diagnosed with State IV non-smoker's NSCLC in fall of 2015 - we have been together since 2013, he is 42 and I am 32. He has been receiving gene targeted therapies and radiation as treatments, most recently whole brain radiation for some brain mets. He is tolerating the treatments fairly well other than some…
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Alone
Hello everyone. My name is Randall. My fiancee has terminal cancer. And I am not taking away from what she is going through, but I feel so alone. Most people in my past have judged me, including her family, and I have no one to go through this with. I myself have no family, so I feel I can not share my anger, or hurt, or…
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OMG - I'm at wits end
My wife went through breast cancer 5 years ago. Discovered while she was 32 and 12 weeks pregnant. We are both nurses. My problem is, I can't be her caretaker. I take care of people for a living, day in and day out. I took care of her while she dealt with cancer and pregnancy. I took care of our first born when she didn't…
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struggling
I am writing this as a therapy of sorts. I am struggling secretly as my wife family and friends do not know the pain I truly am feeling. My wife age 38 was diagnosed at the beginning of February with squamous cell carcinoma (never smoked a day in her life). In that instant our lives changed over night. The treatment for…
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Pain medication/personality changes
Hello. My husband is stage IV and has responded well to chemo twice, with the last time including treatment to 30-40 bone mets. His oncologist wants him on a chemo break for 4 months - we are at month 2 and his pain is so bad that he takes 240 mg of oxy a day. It creates personality changes, he becomes like a drill…
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I am not the strong one.
This is my second round of becoming the caregiver. The first round was May, 2016 when my husband was diagnosed with kidney cancer. He had cryoablation (froze the tumor) at that time and he was sick for awhile, but it "wasn't that bad". In his followup the end of June, 2017 we discovered the tumor has regrown and the cancer…
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Feeling Lost
I went to a local support grp & it was too much. I hate crying in front of ppl. The r/CancerCaregivers sub on Reddit isn't very active & it feels wrong to vent in the r/Cancer sub on Reddit. I don't even feel like venting would change anything, rly. I just need ways to cope so I can be strong for my Mom. She has leukemia.…
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I'm the daughter in law going nuts as I witness denial and suffering
I just posted about my 83 year old father in law in the esophageal forum. Wanted to cut and paste here but feel free to read here's the facts he was diagnosed a year ago with esophageal cancer no one has ever mentioned type or stage due to age and previous stroke surgery is out one round of chemo radiation the entire year…
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Caregiver for Dad
Hi everyone. I'm the new kid on the block. My name is Amanda. I'm 28 (for like another thirteen days..ahh) and I'm from Indianapolis. My dad (age 57) was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 Esophageal Cancer. Adenocarcinoma. He has mets in his brain, liver, and lungs. He was diagnosed in May. His only initial symptom was…