Having a hard time as a caregiver

stlake Member Posts: 3 Member


I've been having a tough time the past few weeks. Although my wife received an ok scan (things are stable), the stress is building. She's been fighting for over 6 years. It's the doctors that cause me stress. Their bed side manner is atrocious which makes it hard for me to stay positive for my self and my wife.

I'm just blowing off some stress and anxiety to a community that no doubt understands.

Thanks for listening.



  • ClaCla
    ClaCla Member Posts: 136
    Is it time to try new doctors?

    This is all new to me.  Was just diagnosed a few days ago with stage 3 NSCLC.  But I've been told to expect really kind staff on my oncology team.  If you and your wife have been fighting this for six years, perhaps it's time to try working with a new team.  If you haven'talready done so, you might want to post on the cancer-specific discussion board too.  Just know there are a lot of people here praying and rooting for you!  God bless.

  • stlake
    stlake Member Posts: 3 Member
    ClaCla, We've discussed new

    ClaCla, We've discussed new doctors, but we're currently connected with a national cancer center that is only 5 miles from our house. So I think they'll provide the best care, just wish the docs were a little better bed side.

    I'm sorry about yhour diagnosis, but hang in there. There are good treatments availalbe.

  • JerzyGrrl
    JerzyGrrl Member Posts: 760 Member
    Another thing...

    Another thing you might try - if you're indeed wanting to stick where you are, is to work WITH the care team. If the doctor looks exhausted, let him/her know and let them know you're concerned (in a nice way). Ask the care team if there's something you can do to prepare for your appointment to make things run smoother. If they have a patient portal so you can communicate with your team, learn to use it and then do. 

    Of course, if this has been going on for six years, they may just be a bunch of physicians with lousy bedside manners. I'm afraid I totally lost my sense of humor when my mother's oncologist was acting like even more of a jerk than usual. Now I'm not the caregiver but the patient and recently found myself in a situation where I wanted to ask a physician, "WHY do you do this when it's obvious you hate your job and dislike people?" Wouldn't have been helpful, so I just told my primary physician I wanted to see someone else. 

    If the cancer center has a patient bill of rights (Which might have a heading along the lines of, "As a patient, you can expect..."), which most do, it might pay to go through that and speak the their patient advocate to see where things that are being promised aren't being delivered. "Respect" and "answers to questions / concerns" are important. 

    What can you do with all the extra time you have because of your short commute that would up your positive attitude? You may have to be extra creative here, but I'm sure there's something. 

    We, of course are still here - hope the positivity increases - keep us posted as you're able.