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everyone is judging me
I ready to call it quits, if i cry to much im told pull your self together read a grieving book, I plan on going out with my friends to see Jacks old band im told im cheating on Jack I give up , I promise Jack I would stay here and take care of his dad but it has his sister stimplatinons Im ready to just give up stay in…
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thank you
I want to Thank all of you for your support this site has gotten me through alot of stuff, and I will continue to sty on becasue maybe I can help someone else, Im so use to getting up so early with Jack so here I am trying to figure out what to do, We are not having any services till Feb when the other family ( who was not…
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i cant do this
I dont think I can do this without Jack We creamated him this morning, it is real now he is gone and there are people causing so much drama and Jack was here to stop all the stupidess, Im trying so hard but I am actally sleeping with his picture just to think he is here with me, I lost my soul mate, how do I go day by day…
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I have dibs on the most stubborn partner
Just letting off steam. Hubby was put on dex by the oncologist about a week or so ago and has been having chest pains for the last few days. His left arm has even become numb but he will not go to the doctor. He insists he still has the fight in him i.e. he is not giving up. I have made an appointment for this evening and…
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arrangements
well we had to make the arrangement for Jack, I got to see him one more time and kiss his forehead, I love him and miss him so much I am so lonely and in the middle of all of us grieving I had to deal with wife /ex wife, I never got a chance to file the papers so she made a scene and called the funeral home and wanted to…
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My love is gone
Jack went home this morning, at 9:30 , Im going to miss the most amazing man I have ever met, he truly showed me how to love again, I feel so numb there are people here but I feel so alone, Now Im in Texas all alone, I dont even know what to do, I want Jack he was the stong one he was my support, I will love you forever…
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its so unfair
I feel like I have been cheated with time with Jack, We meet in June 2009 and he was dx in Aug 2009, and I decided to stay and we fell so much in love, We had such a short time and most of the time was fighting cancer, The world lost an amazing drummer, and I lost the 2ns chance of love, so where do I go from here, My…
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scheduled CSN outage tonight
The site will be down tonight from 1:00 to 5:00 a.m Eastern Daylight Time for scheduled maintenance. Greta Your CSN staff
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Signs...
Here is a touching story I just stumbled upon... http://neatorama.cachefly.net/notes-left-behind.htm Wonderful signs left behind.
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Ready to go
Last night my husband told me he was "ready to go". He has been fighting since December 2008 and can no longer even go to the bathroom on his own, he can't walk, can barely eat or drink and is confused and forgets things a lot of the time. Yesterday he was prescribed Haldol and Valium to calm him down...he gets very…
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sedated
Well we had to sedate Jack heavyly so most likely he will not wake up again he woke up in the worst pain and fear in his eyes and I never want to see that again, so they have him on hydromorphone pump that runs all the time, the patches, and methodone, he is only taking 1-2 breaths a minute but his heart is so strong so it…
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Something to hopefully lift all spirits.....
John Nimmons (screen name snomminj) Posted this today for all of us in the colorectal cancer thread......It is very exciting to read...I hope you enjoy this....I hope it comes to past to help everyone... October 30, 2009 - 12:01pm About four months ago I had several chunks of my tumor sent off to a new lab for a detailed…
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Jack is resting comfortably
Well I think I have had my fill on hospice nurse , well not all of them but , We had a great nurse last night, and she said the other nurse were over medicating Jack we kicked back on the pump and his respirtion are back up to 12 from 1-2, the one nurse was pressing his pain pump every 15 minutes so he was out of it, and…
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Jack is still fghting
Well Jack is still fighting and holding on, his body is starting to shutting down but is heart is so strong, he woke up yesterday Told me he loved me, held me and took his drums sticks and held them in the air, and has not woke up since, He is on a pain pump now because his feeding is no longer working, so we can not give…
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full moon
Has anyone else recognized that during the full moon phase, things are just weird. I am sorry I know that is truly not a health care type question. What I am asking is for other to report with their own strange happenings during this period.Thanks
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help me
My 43 year old husband was diagnosed with stomach and liver cancer this month. The doctor did not give any hope past 10 months. What do I do next---I cry all the time, this is not good for my husband. What do I do next?
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Jack is still fighting
Well Jack still has that fighting spirit, it is getting harder he pretty much stays in bed, but he is still can communicate when he is awake, but he is weak, and tired, his breathing his slowing, we do have the nurse but you have to watch them I get some rest maybe 4 hours a night, I was alittle upset the night before with…
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Where are you?
I've been on this board for a couple of months now. I'm a full time caregiver for my husband with stage IIIB adenocarcinoma. He is unable to do much of anything for himself and my life consists of caring for him at home ( I can't leave him at anytime) , traveling to doctors, going to hospitals for either ER or transfusions…
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After the Memorial Service
If caregiving is hard and it is, no longer caregiving is very hard, too. My husband's memorial service was Saturday. It was just what my husband wanted, gospel music and storytelling. One of our daughters-in-law put together a great slide show. As many people commented, it was him. Now I must begin my new normal life. I'm…
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Caregiving alone
I was wondering if anyone else is caregiving without any help and if you might have advice on how to better manage my time. Hospice comes a couple days a week, but they are only here for about an hour. Our children do no live close by, the closest lives 100 miles away and has a job and two young children and a selfish wife…
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Angry, exhausted, and looking for realistic answers - GBMIV caregiver
My mother-in-law was diagnosed in February of this year with an inoperable GBM, stage IV. She is 60 years old, and is also an insulin dependent diabetic, has advanced COPD, and advanced heart disease. My husband and I drive four hours each way every weekend to provide my father-in-law with respite care, as the medical…
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Holding on still
Well Jack is holding his own, His sister took the nite shift so I got some sleep, and it was a very spirtually expeience with the priest an all, and I finally got some sleep last night and all of a sudden I was woken from a dead sleep becasue I heard someone whaling on Jacks drums ( and right now I dont like no one playing…
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Can't Post on all the threads...anyone else having problem?
I have been trying to post for hours! It has only went through on a couple of them. I write my reply and when I click on "post comment" it just disappears into cyberspace...anyone else having this problem? Trish
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Jack is in the final resting stage
Last night it was so hard,Jack was so agiated so mean to me nothing I did was right and when he woke this morning he was still agiated, then all of a sudden he asked to go outside oe more time, so at first the family did I stayed in the house and he asked for me so I went out there and he wrote on the board Im so sorry to…
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CHAT IS UP!
for the moment anyway.
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Excellent Book for both Caregivers and Patients
I just wrote a bit about this in straberriesandcreams thread, but thought it was worth starting a new thread over. The other night I finished reading The Power of Two: Surviving Serious Illness with an Attitude and an Advocate by Gerri and Brian Monaghan. They tell their story together and it's an amazing story of tenacity…
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They Deserve Rest
I think we truly take for granted how much caregivers do for others and often times we forget to say thank you. I live in the Atlanta area and just recently lost a good friend to ovarian cancer. I was so devasted and shut down for 2 weeks. I decided from that day forward to host retreats that include some rest, pampering…
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Resource
A great resource for caregivers: A Natural History of Family Cancer: Interactional Resources for Managing Illness by Dr. Wayne A. Beach A family. A phone call. A diagnosis . . . One family’s journey through cancer. Family members and cancer patients routinely talk about and through cancer on the telephone. Yet little is…
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I cant do it anymore, Im breaking
I can do this on my own no more Jack has 2 sister and 1 brother and the only help Im getting is from his one sister but she is working 2 jobs and can spend time little time over she is doing her best and his brother is going to send some money so jill can take off and we will reapy him as soon as Jack's policy comes…
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Cancer or the Meds will kill my wife..or me one
I am a 48 year old man who had three wifes already. This one was my last one, and now she has gotten breast cancer in her past and I was told she was over it. well needless to say she was not. since we have been married she has had a Malignant mastisized breast cancer that showed up in her brain as a tumor. Now she has had…