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Don't want to cause a fight!
So here goes, I'm ready to take my husbands head off. As his caregiver I do A LOT with little help from friends. This week is his good week after chemo, he seems fine. He had promised to do all the cooking this week so I can relax, he has not cooked one meal yet. I have worked in my home office for 4 hours today, been to 2…
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work
Hi, my problem is my wife is totally disabled from stroke and i am her caregiver but i cannot work and take care of her, very low income w/o me working and cannot afford in house person to watch her, is there any help out there at all. thanks
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strategies for dealing with out of town visitors
My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in mid June. Since most of our large family lives out of town we have a number of family members who want to come and visit to see him. We are trying to space the visits so that we have some 'down time' and quiet time between visits. We very much appreciate that these…
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Feeling guilty....
Do any other caregivers feel like sorry for themselves sometimes? Like, not being able to go to the beach for the day, or enjoy life's little joys like you did before taking care of a loved one 24 hours a day. I feel guilty about it. But I feel so sad that I cannot do a damn thing for my husband other than give him meds,…
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Tough week and getting worse
It's been a bad week. Hospice care started last Friday. On Sunday Dale said it's the best he's felt in a long time, but since that day he has declined rapidly. He has slept constantly all week, not getting out of bed at all. He is not eating and drinking anymore. Hospice thinks maybe a week or two. The pain is being…
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Surviving Loss
I became the primary caregiver for my mother when I was 22, at that time she was diagnosed with cancer of the gallbladder. Facing the reality of her incurable cancer we used the time we had to create memories that helped us make it through such a difficult time, and continue to sustain me today. This is a blog I recently…
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In Laws
My sister in law didn't call my husband when she found out he had cancer. My normally sweet mother in law was really mad at me for not calling his sister after his first surgery, even though I was calling her and my husbands grown son hourly to give updates, knowing my sister in law eats lunch with mom EVERY day (I figured…
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Hope this makes you smile...
First , let me say that my mother is of sound mind, is 75 and weighs about 90 lbs now and has rectal cancer and is taking radiation and chemo. This weekend I took my sweet little mother for an outing. She loves to embroider by hand so I suggested we take off to Hobby Lobby for her some materials. Something to help keep her…
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Home from Biopsy
We are back from the biopsy. He is doing fine. Went as expected - doc sees tumor and what appears to be cancer invaded into the pharyngeal (throat) wall behind the tumor. Biopsy pathology will not officially be back until Wed or Thurs, but he is taking Bob's case to the "Tumor Review Board" for discussion on treatement, as…
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Need Help
My husband just finished chemotherapy a few weeks ago and everything seemed to be going pretty well. He LOOKS well and ACTS well yet the doctor recently told us that he thinks the cancer is back and that he needs to have a needle biopsy very soon and surgery soon after that because he about 98% positive about the results…
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Parenteral nutrition
Hi All - My Dad's oncologist recommended IV nutrition via his port. Does anyone have experience with this? I've seen postings related to feeding tubes but not this approach. I'd like to understand some pros/cons if anyone has experience. Thanks, MaryJo
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Where ya live
I live in Lawrence Michigan how about you? Zenniemay
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Biopsy Monday
Please say a prayer for our family bright and early Monday morning, as my husband goes in for his biopsy. History - diagnosed with hypopharyngeal cancer w/spread to one lymph node, in July 2009. Had induction chemo and them chemo/radiation (no surgery). Had pet scan about a month ago and there were a couple of hot spots.…
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My caregiving advice - Sorry in advance, I wrote a novel
Hi Everyone, I'm 25 and live in Boston, MA. I'm new to this site, and I really wish I had found it a long time ago. My Grandma was diagnosed with Tongue Cancer 6 months ago. She had a portion of her tongue removed along with some lymph nodes. The doctors wanted her to receive 6 weeks of Radiation. Unfortuntely she only…
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What do I do about the wedding?
My daughter Jess is getting married to a wonderful young man in May 2011. I am now the primary caregiver for my Mother who was just diagnosed with cancer (Stage 4)and has many other pulmonary problems. Jess had been engaged about a month before all this started. Jess has had her wedding kind of pushed to the back burner…
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Is the end near?
If it is true what the dr. say, three to six months to live, then October will be deadline. He gets sicker, then better, then sicker...back and forth all of the time. I, as caregiver, am totally depleted emotionally and physically. Is there a med for that? To top it off, I just found out yesterday I have to have a core…
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Just need to vent
Hello-I just need to vent. Yesterday was an emotionally draining day. First I had to call the Dr. for a referral for hospice, then call the funeral home and pre plan. Later in the evening I had to call Dale's adult children and tell them the cold, hard facts that he is getting worse day by day. I don't know how I managed…
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should I feel this way??
Hello everyone, I'm a caregiver for my son who has gastro esophageal stage 4 cancer. I'm not the only caregiver but certainly am doing all I can do for my son. The thing is, sometimes in the midst of work, home life, being around MY friends, I tend to .....not forget, but I guess it just looses power over me, like it's…
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Stupid Friends
How do you let your friends know that you are disappointed in them without hurting their feelings? I am so tired of asking for their help. They were all there for my husbands surgery but seemed to disappear after the first round of chemo. Don't they know that this will continue until October and then only stop if the…
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Frustrated...She won't talk or complain
My mother has rectal cancer along with a myriad of other health issues. Her diagnosis is fairly new...about a month now...and she is now living with me. I am frustrated because I can not get her to tell me if she is feeling bad. I ask when I see her grimace in pain or if she is looking particularly gray that day and all I…
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one day at a time
my husband and i reunited after 20 yrs of no contact. We were married less than a year later. Our 1 yr anniversary is next week. He is 38 has stage iv lung cancer. he has only one lung left with six spots. Trying to take all of this one day at a time....but the pain is unbearable....
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Getting tired
ok. i need to have a confessional. I am tired. My vacation time is being taken up by caring for my mother and her illness. I can't clean my own house becuase i am tired from cleaning my mothers. My mother lives in a different state and my suitcase hasn't been put up since May. So you see my mother is new to this cancer…
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Feel so much Anger
Does anyone else feel anger about what is happening with the way cancer is treated? I am reading some of the posts over at esophageal cancer and it makes me upset and angry. i have lived in Germany, Australia and Canada ..so i know what so called "socialized " medicine is and how people there get services we do not get.…
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I am in hell
I feel like I am in an impossible situation and need any advice I can find. My wife currently has brain cancer and was treated with whole brain radiation therapy shortly after being diagnosed three months ago. For financial reasons we are not presently living together. We both lost our jobs after we returned from our…
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So over this crap... ugh.
My DH has a GBM of the spine... DX in March... We have a 13 yr old, 5 yr old and 6 week old- I was pregnant for the beginning of this, now I am "single Mom" to my kids- baby and infant of a husband... down to wiping his poop and cleaning up after his when he goes in his pants... plus he resents me I think- for not doting…
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David54, how are you doing?
Just wonder how things are going with you during this difficult time. Keep in touch and let us know. THoughts and prayers are with you buddy!
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How do you guys keep your head up?
It is so difficult for me to see my mom feeling so listless and depressed (she just hit her halfway mark with chemo for breast cancer). She is constantly apologizing for not being "herself." I take everything so personally - I try to remember it's not me, but I love her so much and we are so close, I tend to let it affect…
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eyesight and chemo
Does anyone know of the effects of chemo on the eyesight?
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about to have a meltdown
Sometimes when it rains it pours. I posted here before about being a caregiven, then patient, then caregiver again. My mom died from cancer almost 7 years ago after fighting it for 20 years. Dad had melanomas last year and now was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma April 1. His arm was broken by the tumor. He received radiation…
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Dad is getting a break!!
Just got home from the doctor with Dad. His latest CT shows no change in the liver mets he had, so no better, but no worse. During the last visit, he asked the doctor for a break after this, as the post chemo confusion and hallucinations were getting to be too much. Since his doctor believes in quality of life over…