Stupid Friends

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teacher9
teacher9 Member Posts: 17
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
How do you let your friends know that you are disappointed in them without hurting their feelings? I am so tired of asking for their help. They were all there for my husbands surgery but seemed to disappear after the first round of chemo. Don't they know that this will continue until October and then only stop if the doctor gives the all clear. I am so angry that it brings me to tears. I feel like I will have no friends by the time this is done. The worst part is that my husband doesn't see it the same way. He is so concentrated on kicking cancer's **** that he can't see all I do around here and the lack of help I get. I work, own a business, do the housework, and take care of him. I am so tired!

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  • zinniemay
    zinniemay Member Posts: 522
    #2
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    caregiver
    I have the same problem, I see on here some people have to turn friends away, I can't even get them to come over. Or call. My husband see it they are busy.
    So I know the feeling. My husband week for 7 weeks for Chemo we had to stay 130 miles from home came home on weekends. No one person offered to help. Now we are doing it again by ourself. I do all the house work and yard work and so on too.
    We had a storm that knocked a power pole dowm in our yard. two months ago . I can't eevn get the power company to fix the ruts in the yard their four trucks cause. If that tells you how bad it is. I cry everyday. I don't know how some people have all these friends who will help and some don't . I don't get it.
  • teacher9
    teacher9 Member Posts: 17
    #3
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    zinniemay said:

    caregiver
    I have the same problem, I see on here some people have to turn friends away, I can't even get them to come over. Or call. My husband see it they are busy.
    So I know the feeling. My husband week for 7 weeks for Chemo we had to stay 130 miles from home came home on weekends. No one person offered to help. Now we are doing it again by ourself. I do all the house work and yard work and so on too.
    We had a storm that knocked a power pole dowm in our yard. two months ago . I can't eevn get the power company to fix the ruts in the yard their four trucks cause. If that tells you how bad it is. I cry everyday. I don't know how some people have all these friends who will help and some don't . I don't get it.

    Hugs to you zinniemay. The
    Hugs to you zinniemay. The one thing that I have found that helps a little is going to a support group that is specific for caregivers. It is held by a group called Gilda's Club. They are free of charge and all over the country. I know it's hard to leave a loved one for a little while, but it really has helped.
  • zinniemay
    zinniemay Member Posts: 522
    #4
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    teacher9 said:

    Hugs to you zinniemay. The
    Hugs to you zinniemay. The one thing that I have found that helps a little is going to a support group that is specific for caregivers. It is held by a group called Gilda's Club. They are free of charge and all over the country. I know it's hard to leave a loved one for a little while, but it really has helped.

    Care giver
    I am the type of person that rarley goes anywhere without someone. So I am not much of a driver either. So guess I will be learning. I worked in a factory , but I never pumped gas for my car! I tryed once and the guy got mad cause I did not know what I was doing. My husband would always make sure I had my tank full. So I am feeling all kinds of fear.
  • ketziah35
    ketziah35 Member Posts: 1,145
    #5
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    this may be the time too...
    I live far away from my family and things that they usually help each other with, I end up hiring peoPle for. Don't be afraid to delegate. Can you contact your church or the cancer hotline to see what resurces are out there? You may be surPrised. I wouldn't be so hard on the friends. When my mom underwent cancer treatment my friends seemed to go awol, but as it turns out they were trying to give me space to concentrate on my mom.
  • zinniemay
    zinniemay Member Posts: 522
    #6
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    ketziah35 said:

    this may be the time too...
    I live far away from my family and things that they usually help each other with, I end up hiring peoPle for. Don't be afraid to delegate. Can you contact your church or the cancer hotline to see what resurces are out there? You may be surPrised. I wouldn't be so hard on the friends. When my mom underwent cancer treatment my friends seemed to go awol, but as it turns out they were trying to give me space to concentrate on my mom.

    you are right
    You are right, I think I did that to a friend with out thinking because she did have family around.
    We do not go to church He is Catholic and I am a back slider. There is not even a Catholic Church in our town, There is however I think 10 churches. But I would not feel cpmfortable nor would my husband. When we married it was not a good thing to do in the eyes of his church!
    I think it my brain could catch up to my thoughts I would figure out things . But my brain goes 0 to100 in half a second!

    Jennie

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