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Hi, I'm new here
I've been reading and posting on the Esophageal Cancer discussion board but I guess it's time I post something on here. My husband of almost 42 years died on October 24, 2011 - just 15 weeks after his cancer diagnosis. Nine days after his diagnosis, he suffered a severe stroke. It broke my heart to watch him work his butt…
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Two Years
As most of you know, I am only posting occasionally now and lurking much of the rest of the time and answering some PMs. Today marks two years since I lost my love. Time does help. I am having lunch with some members of our cancer support group. One is celebrating her 70th birthday and we are remembering Doug. I know that…
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What A Widow Really Wants You To Know
I wrote this from my perspective - change the wording around to suit your situation and share if you would like. To My Friends and Family - Hey hi how are you? Unless you really want an honest answer, you won't ask me that. You see, I've lost not just my spouse, I've lost a part of myself. I've lost my sunshine, so…
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Saying goodbye to my daddy
A tribute to my dear, sweet Daddy. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/8999255/saying_goodbye.html
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Why did she leave me so early?
Hi all, I never thought I would be posting on this board - always thought and assumed that my mom would be perfectly fine. I have no idea how to cope with her going away. It's been 3 months but my pain is getting worse. I can make out that my behaviour has changed and I am not nice as I used to be. I just feel that Life is…
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I Am In The Light
A shadow of joy flickered; it is me. I told you I wouldn't leave. My memories, my thoughts are imbedded deep in your heart. I still love you. Do not for one moment think that you have been abandoned. I am in the Light. In the corner, in the hall, the car, the yard ~ these are the places I stay with you. My spirit rises…
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I don.t know what to do next
My husband was diagnosed in May 2011 and passed away October 5 2011, what do I do now,I want to clean out his clost I want to do it today, but I am scared that I may regreat it and at the same time I don;t like all the reminders I don;t need clothes to remind me of him. I don;t know what to next
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So is this it??
Hi again, all you lovely people. Its me, It has been one year and one day since my Mum was separated from us all. She was taken into hospital and past away 5 weeks later so we had no time to think. My update is that, its all such rubbish, I am maxed on anti depressants, have a sleeping pill to get me to sleep, lost four…
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+ Website relating to grief and bereavement
I found this video and website relating to grief in response to a post I made to someone dealing with the holidays coming up, etc. on a different board. Moving on Past Grief: ===================== http://www.videojug.com/interview/moving-on-past-grief-2 It covers these topics: How do I move past my grief in a healthy way?…
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If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away
A friend of mine posted a song on facebook and it is a good song to listen to. It's called If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away by Justin Moore if you would like to look it up on the internet. It hits too close to home for me since I just lost my mom this year which I finally got her buried a couple of weeks ago and losing my dad…
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Lost In No Man's Land
May 27th, 2011, husband - melanoma May 19th, 2011, mother - lung cancer No matter what I do, think about or don't think about I'm in "no man's land". If I try to forget then I'm lost, not sure what to do with myself, with my life. If I start to think about what I've lost then I'm sunk... I was mowing the lawn and broke the…
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A Happy, Sad Day
My husband, George passed away on February 7, 2011 from stomach cancer and just a few hours before he passed our daughter found out she was pregnant but didn't get to tell her Dad. This morning a lovely little baby girl came into this world. To see George leave this world and a new life come into this world within a short…
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On the grief and bereavement bandwagon
Tomorrow will be 2 weeks since my father lost his 22 month long battle with Stage 4 Colon Cancer. The last two weeks have had a range of emotions. Some days I can get up and moving and others, well as I write this at the lunchhour, I'm still in my pj's- and will be leaving soon to go to the courthouse to file my father's…
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FML
Usually, I do a pretty good job of hiding the fact that I am miserable 98% of the time. The other 2% I'm either sleeping or all the way in the bag. But today I can't. I can't hide the fact that I am miserable and the one person who would truly notice isn't here. Yes, he would b!tch at me, but still he would notice and I…
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It's been 7 years. I miss her so much.
It was my Birthday yesterday, just turned 20 years old. It was just like any other day really. To be honest, all of my best birthdays were before I turned 13 because my Mom was the only one who truly wanted to celebrate and make a big fuss. She was my best friend. She cared for me and my brother so much and she'd always…
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Travelling, cremains, and...neutrality
So as I mentioned yesterday, I decided to go "home" or as close as I have to one. I only made about 200 miles today, but I can honestly say it feels...less bad. I even was able to sing along to my car radio a little bit. It's kind of bittersweet to see my Husband's best friend riding his Harley, and wearing one of his…
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Feeling guilty
It has been 15 months since I lost mu husband to brain cancer. Looking back it was such a nightmare for all of us. On occasion I go to the brain cancer discussion board...don't know why. Maybe it is to see if any new treatments have shown success. Did we miss something? When I read the struggles of those traveling the path…
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Missed you guys!
Hey all! Have not been around in forever. So much change, pain..etc. You all know the drill. It will be a year Sept 23rd since I lost mom, then husbands mom in October. January 10th, I asked him to leave - - -pretty I sure I was still on here then. This was a good decision for me. I still miss my best friend, mom each and…
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One Year
It is now a year since my wife died of colon cancer (July 29th 2010). Her funeral was the following August 4th. I am waking up at 4:30 AM just like a year ago. I am okay, but I really miss her. I have been through the grief support groups, therapy, connecting as much as I can. I still have some of her clothes, she had very…
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Cousin just passed away
We all know how cancer sucks but it is really hard when someone young dies of this crap and leave behind a Husband and two small children and one with a handicap. My Cousin has been fighting a rare form of stomach cancer for the past 3 years, this morning she lost her battle at the MD Anderson hospital in Houston. Please…
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Am I normal?
My mother was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer on 1/31/11. By the time it was found it had already MET to the brain, bones, and liver. She passed away on 4/15/11, just a mere 10 weeks after her diagnosis and 8 weeks to the day before my wedding. Now that I am approaching the four month mark I seem to be feeling worse…
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Funeral was 1 week ago
I was attending my husbands funeral last Saturday at this time. I like many of you feel lost and broken. I am bothered so much by the whys? Not because of the illness but our life in general. Is it normal to have feelings of guilt & regret? Mostly things we didn't make time for. Things we should have done. He was such a…
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Anniversary
Well, our anniversary has almost come and gone. It went ok. Actually, yesterday may have been the hardest because I was anticipating today. This morning I went to our cancer support group. This is the group Doug and I went to together and I continue to attend. Then I did some shopping and met some friends for lunch. One of…
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Checking in
I haven't posted in some time; I have lots of thoughts and emotions swirling around in my head, but they don't want to come out. But I do think of you all here who have lost your loved ones and hope you are doing well. I was dreading the summer; July 4th was my birthday, and the 8th the day Frank was rushed to the hospital…
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Picking Up The Pieces
You would think at my age I would be used to a broken heart or two. I could not reach 58 without having a disappointment or two by now… Remember that first boyfriend or breakup? How about the heart stopping disappointment of your first car wreck? Life on a farm can be very educating, so I learned early about a tragedy or…
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Will it Ever End?
In October of 2009 my husband was diagnosed with rectal cancer. Last 4th of July he was doing great, feeking well, we even had a 4th of July party. On July 17th I lost him. This is Juy 4 m 14 year old neice came to stay for the weekend, we had a grea time, shopping, eating out, laying in the sun etc. Today she was…
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i cant stop crying...do the tears ever dry up
sometimes, its like a joke, its like am dreaming, sometimes i pick up the phone to call him then i remember he is not here anymore. will it ever heal? i miss him so much
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Hurts So Good
C'mon baby make it hurt so good/Sometimes love don't feel like it should/You make it hurt so good Ever get a massage when you're really tensed up? It's so freaking painful but OMG it's the most incredible feeling. A good hurt, a good pain. Yes, I know I'm speaking in oxymorons, just bear with me. This Sunday past (July 17,…
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One Month Today...
I've been counting days since last Father's Day 2010 when my husband was diagnosed with melanoma and now it seems I am still counting days. Crazy. Will time ever be my friend once again? It has been one month today that he has been gone, his last breath taken and my life changed forever. Nothing is the same and yet I walk…
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Checking in
Just checking in. I haven't disappeared totally. I have been traveling with family so I have just started lurking again. I am trying catch up. Fay