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Lost my dad in October. Feeling very scared to go back to college, scared to move on
Hello everyone. My name is Christine and I'm 20 years old and new to the website. I've been reading the discussion boards on this website over the last few days and have been incredibly moved and encouraged by the stories and kindness I've seen here. I'm looking forward to hearing from you. My dad passed away from liver…
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i love you kb
sat here wanting you to come through the door and take over know it aint going to happen but what the hell,1st christmas without you and dont eveyone know it they keep saying maybe in the new year it,ll be better but they dont get the fact you wont be there so it wont be better i miss you so much so very much i love you.n…
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Christmas Greetings
For many here this can be a very difficult time of the year. Coming up on my 5th Christmas without my husband, I still feel the loss. We did so many things together. He was the package wrapper, so as I throw/place gifts in bags I remember him wrapping everything with great care. Decorating the tree is becoming easier. I…
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Anniversary
Today is the one year anniversary of my husband's death from colon cancer. I am as devastated today as I was last year, although I am functioning like I am okay, and I am not really grateful or thankful for anything today. I know that is not a good attitude; I know I have many blessings in my life and I have tried to spend…
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Missing what cancer stole from me
I lost my 46 year old husband to plasma cell leukemia on April 4, 2013. We were only married 11 months but I miss him intensely. The first few months I think I was in denial, but now I feel so alone and wish I had someone to hold me at night. Grief is a crazy thing. Some days I feel almost normal and others I feel…
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lost my mother a yr this month to cervical cancer
My mother was diagnosed August 2011 and gone november 6 2012.. it was in the blink of an eye and I feel I didnt get to say all I needed to and I cant seem to deal with it or move forward, a part of me died along with her, I have forgotten how to laugh and how to enjoy the people around me. I feel guilty she was only 56…
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Grieving and mum giving me the hardest time
Grieving My Father's Death Due To Cancer And Hating My Life And Mum Since My Dad Died Of Cancer My Mum Is Making My Life A Living Hell So basically, my father died of cancer 6 months ago on the 16th of April. Up until January of 2013 he was in fine shape. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, we went to the hospital just for a…
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Some-many days just suck
It will be 1 year in December and I still have horrendous days. Moody, sad, angry.....she just shouldn't be dead. How did they not see until it was too late. I pushed so hard even with her and she still died. God some days just suck. I wonder if my daughter is what keeps me going, cause really if my husband and her didn't…
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My whole world, my mother
Earlier this month I lost the one person who was my everything. My name is Ashley and I'm 21 years old and have just lost my mother to cancer. She had previously had breast cancer when I was five years old and was in remission for 15 years. It came back in the other breast and was immediately removed. We thought the battle…
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GRANDMAFAY------YOU ARE WONDERFUL!
GRANDMAFAY, HOW IS IT YOU KEEP IN TOUCH WITH EVERYONE. WHAT A WONDERFUL PERSON YOU ARE. YOU HELP EVERYONE WITH YOUR WONDERFUL ADVISE AND ENCOURAGEMENT. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. BE WELL AND MAY OUR GREAT GOD BLESS YOU. HOPE YOU ARE DOING BETTER.
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Recurrent Dream-starting to bother me.
It’s time I share this because it is driving me crazy-I have been having a recurrent dream, about 2-3 times per month. In the dream my wife who died of cancer 3 years ago has returned to my life and I am stressed of how to tell her I have remarried. I feel intense sadness and grief at trying to figure out how to present…
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The TV Is On, If Only For The Noise
I'm sure some of you can identify with that one. I am Wolfen, originally from the Colon Forum. My daughter is Johnnybegood, a five year survivor. I am also a member of the H&N Forum, as my husband was diagnosed In Oct. 2012 with H&N & lung cancers. Due to many medical mistakes & setbacks, his battle was a downhill slide…
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Hello - I'm new here...
My sweet husband found out about his incurable cancer at the end of April. He died 2 months later. I still can't believe he is never coming back to me! I tried pretending that he's on a trip. I'm functioning and seem (probably) normal to other people, but... you know how it feels. Crying while walking home through the…
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Is my grief normal?
Last Saturday I received word that my mothers 11 year battle with non hodgkins lymphoma was coming to an end. The doctors estimate 2 weeks. Since the diagnosis I have been unable to keep food down, suffer extreme nauesa and experienice intense bouts of dry heaving. I am trembly and weak and have little to no appetite and…
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Time does not heal all wounds..
I lost my mom April 13th, 2012 to small-cell lung cancer. She passed after a seizure caused by a tumor on her brain. I held her hand as she left me. She was only 45. I was 24. My mom was more than just "my mom".. She was my best friend. I know people say that all the time, but I truly feel the connection I shared with my…
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Can't Stop Crying
I lost my beloved father 2 weeks after his diagnosis of Pancreatic Cancer. I am devastated. It has only been 3 days now that I lost him, but I can't stop crying. We knew he was losing weight and had not felt well, but we had no idea it was cancer. We were told he had 2 weeks to a month to live and he passed away exactly 2…
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no one really gets it
its been almost three months since i lost my mom to ovarian cancer which was the cancer that spread to the whole of her body til finally it took her away from me. i feel like am ready to die coz along with her death she took my will to live. i find that life has no point as we are all going to die. to see your loved one…
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I'm only 24...I still need my mom
On April 28, 2012 my beautiful mom lost her 2 year battle with Pancreatic Cancer. After taking a year off of school and moving home to help take care of her we were told that she had gone into remission. My mom pushed me to go back to school. That fall I learned that her cancer came back. Just a few months later I was…
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Mom
My mom was diagnosed with lung cancer just over a year ago now and passed away this past December. There hasn't been a day go by that my mind does not wander to thoughts of mom and the complete sense of loss that I can't seem to put into words. Like many, my mom was everything to me. She was always there for me and the one…
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i wish i could have my mum back
on the 28th january this year my mum lost her fight with cancer. she was just 55. my mum was my life. she was my best friend . no matter what problems i was going through she was always there to give me a hug and tell me every thing would be ok. Now is the time i need that the most and she isnt here to do that. i feel like…
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Loneliness
It has been 7 months, still not working but trying my best to stay busy and exercising. My daughter and her fiancee live here too, so I am not totally alone. But lately, loneliness has just been on me like crazy. I hate it. And what I hate the most is that I am lonely for male companionship.....and I feel that is probably…
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Nearly 2 weeks without my father
Hi. I honestly don't know how to start this thread. On the 16th April 2013, my father lost his battle from cancer. It spread over to his lungs, liver bowel and I think that in his last few days, it also affected his barin. All this happened within 2 months and 3 weeks. January 2013 he was perfectly fine. Mid April and he's…
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Memorial Day coincidence?
It's been nearly 3 years since I lost my beloved husband. At the time everyone told me things would get better with time. Although hard to believe it does. The pain is always there, but the memories turn to the good times rather than the bad. I've started to make a new life and have even met someone new! But... This…
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Am I wrong?????
Hello, my name is Candice and on Feb,14th 2011 I lost my Father. He passed away from colon cancer at age 60 and was not in good shape at the end (cant get that pic out of my head). We had a very close relationship since the day I was born so loosing him has been nothing but difficult. I'm wondering if my 2+yrs delay in my…
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18 Months
...and it feels like 18 years. Conclusion: I will never be a whole person again. I lost my fountain of hope and joy. Her death has left me empty of all emotion except anger. There is nothing on this earth that means anything to me. These lines from a song best describe my life: like a bird without a nest, like a stranger…
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Entering second week of widowhood...Any tips?
My wife passed one week ago, tonight. Had the beautiful service for her yesterday and took the last of my brothers and his family to the airport a while ago. Now, I don't know what to expect. I won't be tending to my wife, won't be making arrangements, won't be doing much but thinking. I'll start putting some of her stuff…
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a year ago
I lost my wife a year ago, went on a date and it feels like I have cheated on her. Does the hurt ever end?
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I am a cancer survivor and I just lost my mother to cancer, I'm 21
I've walked a long road. At age 18, in late 2009, I was diagnosed and defeated stage 2 Hodgkin's Lymphoma. My mom took care of me everyday when I couldn't go to school or do anything fun. She held me when I cried because my "friends" never came around to visit. On January 1st, 2012, my mom was diagnosed with multiple…
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Ever wonder how and why??
Been awhile since I posted but I find myself drawn here from time to time. Each of you offer inspiration and posess courage and express your feelings so well-I want to thank you for that. It has been about two and a half years since my wife died. There are still days when I wonder how? How could a woman who could run…
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18 months since my sister died and I cannot move forward
My sister died from Hodgkin's 18 months ago and I feel stuck in grief. My sister was my best friend in the world, but we were a very close family over all, and I see my family members navigating their way through the grief process in a way I cannot seem to do. I am consumed with guilt and loss, and incredulity that this is…