-
Was I wrong
Some friends of mine own the local hair salon here in town. Today we had our St Patricks day parade. I drove the ridiculously expensive convertible I bought myself after Hank passed so the girls could hold a banner and we threw gifts into the crowd. I have to admit I had a great time. But now I feel I guilty, here I am out…
-
Widow discrimination
Well, I just got a low blow this week. It was time to pay the next 6-month premium for our car insurance. I went through the giant stack of mail to find the new policy statement which I had seen arrive a few weeks ago. But I found 2 of them; one dated a day later than the first. The second statement was quite a bit…
-
Opinion on Counseling?
Hello Everyone, I am wondering if I should go to counseling? I feel as though I can get through this on my own but I am pregnant and due on my birthday June 19th so it will be very emotional, first time without my mom on my birthday and my first baby without my mom to hold my baby. Im nervous for when this time comes ill…
-
Sorry for the Double Post
The boards are kinda of wacky tonight:| Sally
-
New to This Discussion Board
I was over at the Esophageal cancer board the past 11 months. I've guess you'd say I've graduated? Two weeks ago today my father passed away from esophageal cancer. This whole grieving thing is really, really hard. Not so much the dealing with the sadness, but the unpredictability of when those wave of tears is gonna sweep…
-
Not getting better
Yesterday was one month since my mother passed away. I am a mess today. I am at work, on my break and needed to communicate. I cant stop crying. Today is worse than most days have been. Is it possible that I am having a delayed reaction?
-
I'm new and just need someone to talk to.
Hey everyone.I'm Courtney.I'm a 20 year old nursing student from Mississippi.In the past 6 months I've lost my aunt and my dad to lung cancer.I was with my aunt everyday she was in the hospital.My dad was diagnosed September 27th,2010 which was just 4 days before my birthday.They diagnosed him with 6 months to a year to…
-
idk if im a bad daughter. or if im just coping...
Background story: My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer is 1999. She had chemo and radiation and was in"remission" until 2007, thats when my family found out the cancer came back and metastasized to her bones. She had been fighting the cancer with chemo and bone meds. During Christmas break we found out the cancer…
-
While filing my income taxes...
It's funny how one thought can lead to another, and another, and another. I went to our CPA today to have our taxes prepared and filed. I was mainly thinking and hoping that I had every form I needed. At the end he recommended that I have with holdings done as single with no dependents. Ok, so first time I will be "single"…
-
Special People
When I say special, I don't mean someone like my mom, or a really good friend, or even the nice person that let me jump ahead of them because I was on line with 3 items and they had a cartful. I'm talking about the people that should not be let out of the house without their helmet on and crayons at the ready. Over the…
-
My Story
I had been out of the treatment center for about 3 months, and was learning to live life clean and sober; a bunch of my friends were travelling from Florida to the World Convention of NA in Atlanta. They knew I couldn't afford to go on my own, so they invited me to ride with them and we stuffed 5 of us into the hotel room.…
-
New member hoping to share
I have joined this forum with the hope of connecting with others. Though my story is common in many ways, in one huge way, I feel isolated.......January 30, 2011 my life changed forever. A life without my parents or my only sibling, my older brother. All three had lung cancer. All three died from this disease -(dad…
-
Once upon a time...
Once upon a time there was this female Airman, and one day while attending Tech School at Brooks AFB, she happened to be standing in the hallway looking down, admiring the shine on her shoes. Suddenly she was aware of someone watching her and when she glanced up there was this handsome Ssgt. looking at her! He said hello,…
-
I failed again
Yesterday I was all set to accomplish a lot of things on my "to do" list. I was getting everything all lined up so that I could do all my errands during one trip. One of the things was to take the bed comforter to the cleaners. I thought I was ready...but apparently I wasn't. I started pulling it back from the bed and then…
-
Loss for words
I posted this on the Caregivers board like the blonde that I am. Note to self: redo hair, artificial intelligence is wearing off. It's an odd place for me - for the first time I'm not sure where I fit. First write that on your calendars. I'm never at a loss for something to say, even if it's wildly sarcastic and…
-
Change
It has been a little over a year since I lost my Mom on September 2nd 2009. I still cry every single day and I cannot control it. My Mom was my best friend and the person that I went to for everything. While I cannot say internally that the pain and grieving have gotten any better, I believe I have found a way to deal with…
-
The Reading Room: "Grief, Unedited" from NY Times
This article about grief appeared in a recent edition of the NY Times. I thought it was interesting and decided to pass it along. I think it is pretty wonderful if fifty percent of the people who lose a spouse are able to resume their lives within six months. Alas, I'm in the group of "slow learners." Hatshepsut NY Times…
-
How about a new "situation" ???
OK here it is. I have been so lonely for male companionship lately. All of my female family and my girlfriends all have husbands, boyfriends, whatever. My daughter is in a great relationship now, so we hardly do things together. I went on a website, for friends and dating. Filled out the forms, put up a pic...I don't even…
-
Feeling kinda weird ....
One of Mikes best friends brought over some venison chili tonight. We went to the premier of one of our mutual friends films, and sat on my front porch afterwards talking about Mike and laughing over good times past. Boy, it was good to have a conversation that didn't revolve around cancerous bodily fluids, and it felt…
-
Feeling So much Guilt after 2 years
I lost my grandmother 2 years ago from lung cancer. She was an amazing woman & the epitome of unconditional love. She lived with me & my parents & we were very close. I thought i was handling her death well but have been crying every single day & night for the past couple months, cant stop reliving what happened during her…
-
Valentines' Day
Ok, it is official. I hate Valentines' Day! Not the day itself, but all the commercials, etc. leading up to it. I got so tired of watching romantic couples everywhere. Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti romance or even couples. I just got tired of it being thrown in my face everywhere. I don't remember it bothering me as…
-
Don't know how to cope
My 42 year old husband, lost his fight October 13th 2010, diagnosed on march 13th 07. I don't feel like I'm ever going to get off the roller coaster. My husband was in the hospital at the end of June '10 for procedure. The doctors sent him home 10 days later July 2nd, with hospice saying, "there is nothing more we can do…
-
Hope I can face this
Tonight is a sad night for me again. I just found out on facebook (of all places) that my hubby, Tom's niece has passed away today from pancreatic cancer. She's been fighting it for a year and a half. She was one of the sweetest persons in his family. And of all things, tomorrow would be mine & Tom's 47th wedding…
-
Those last awful days
Please tell me that after a while I will be able to bring to mind all of the wonderful things about my time with Mike instead of the endless loop of the last awful days. It's almost like PTSD flashbacks. He's only been gone since the 14th, so I'm not expecting miracles this soon, but I'm hoping that after a time the…
-
Feeling Lost
My father-in-law died of lung cancer in December. My mother-in-law entered hospice for her own cancer soon afterwards. It feels like we haven't had a chance to truly grieve my fil's death as we have started the process of recognizing my mil's death will be coming soon. My own mother died suddenly about 10 years ago, one…
-
After the Memorial
Mikes memorial was on Sunday. I was afraid it would feel like a final "punctuation" on our life together, but it gave me a lot of peace, instead. A huge crowd of friends and family came to pay their respects, including about 20 motorcyclists who rode in as a tribute. All in all, it was quite beautiful. Mikes ashes are…
-
Losing My Mother Soon
So back at the end of December 2010 my mom's abdomen got swollen and she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She is 57 years old and I am 23 years old. I am an only child. Tomorrow is my birthday and she is going to die within a couple of days. I have no other family and because of that I had to put her in a nursing home in…
-
Horrible today
God, it rained cold buckets all day today, The Fed Ex truck delivered the cremains from Richmond, and my therapist diagnosed me with PTSD because of the horrible flash backs I've been having and the fact that I'm unable to sleep with out chemical help, (and even that sleep is spotty.) I'm gearing up for Sundays memorial…
-
What do I do now?
What do I do now? I lost my husband on January 16, his 63 birthday to a disease I had never heard of. Myelofibrosis. He hasn't been sick other that an occasional cold in the 35 years. Hasn't been to a doctor in 25 years. He started to get sick on Christmas day. Urgent Care said it was just a sinus infection with slightly…
-
Don't Tell Me....
Don't Tell Me... Don't tell me that you understand, don't tell me that you know, Don't tell me that I will survive, how I will surely grow. Don't tell me this is just a test, that I am truly blessed, That I am chosen for this task, apart from all the rest. Don't come at me with answers that can only come from me, Don't…