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Grief and Bereavement

From a man's perspective
I lost my wife to colon cancer July 29th. I post here a few times a week and more when she was alive battling her cancer. We would have been married 32 years this August 26th. It is therapeutic for me to share what losing a spouse is like from a man’s perspective. Perhaps it is not that different for a wife but since I am…
Memory Quilt
I thought I would share this photo of a quilt I had made of my husband's favorite shirts ( and jeans!). It arrived last week and I am pleased with how it turned out. It is really helping me with my grief - It is on my bed and reminds me of good memories Mary
What would have been....
Well, today would have been our 25th wedding anniversary. I was dreading it so much, but it actually turned out to be a good day. I saw a bereavement counselor yesterday and she suggested that I get out with friends or family, and I did and enjoyed myself without thinking too much about "everything". I have read here so…
Falling Down Sad
While, in the past, I've been reasonably coordinated, since my husband's death I've felt that my timing is a bit off. Earlier this week I took a bad fall. Fortunately, I only have a badly-sprained wrist and a cracked knee cap. A word to the wise. Be careful of the side-effects of grief in all their permutations. Hatshepsut
This really gets my back up
Hi all , I have to share with you what has really got my back up since loosing my wonderful, beautiful courageous young mum 56 days ago, its the pieces of paper you get from official departments. When you are born you are issued with a birth certificate and when you die, you are issued with a death certificate. Is that all…
A day in the Life
OK so I decided this has to stop and I needed to start making more of an effort. Now I have been doing things, last week I went to the US Open finals, so it's not like I am hiding in the house, but everything I've done to date is at someone else's prodding. So, Saturday, summer's over, first Sat with no pool, cleaning lady…
Well They Arrived...
Back during a lovely spring day....Bill sat outside drinking his iced tea...and ordered flower bulbs for next spring...this is something he did every year. My heart broke watching him do it....I knew he was not going to be here to plant them and he knew too...as I later found a "map" he put together to tell where to plant…
airports are sad
Well i picked up my mother in law yesterday and found that waiting for her to come off the plane there were so many people coming and going so i am sitting right by the gate well it was a hurtful ordeal only because husbands and wifes were hugging and kissing being picked up at the airport by the spouse. I was crying a few…
A place that tears built
Hello, We are trying to get volunteers together that would like to help with a special project for terminally ill patients and families. I had a mother and daughter that was diagnosed with cancer and sadly have lost both of them, however, my husband and I are looking to help others that are currently going through…
How do you live without your mother?
My mom passed away 2 months ago today. She was 65 years old. She was diagnosed with stage 4 non-small cell lung cancer on 12/29/09. She was a genuine woman. A wonderful, funny, caring, sympathetic, loving woman. She was my best friend. Her and my father were married 42 years. My brother is 41, my sister is 40, and I am 26.…
People are so clueless....
Well I was at work last night....and during a nanu second of down time one of the other nurses I work with start this dialoque with me about Bill....where it came from I had no idea....thinking it started because we were talking about cooking and I said I really don't cook...I prefer not too and eat out most days. Anyway…
Changing of the Seasons
I think I am doing ok working through my grief as well as can be expected. I visited with family and friends the first part of the weekend. I came home last night and emotionally realy felt hit hard with feeings of grief and sadness that my husband will never experience summer again. Have anyone else had any similar…
Just venting and open to feedback
I wasn’t sure if I should add this to an already existing post or make a new one – so anyway here goes. My brother in-law is well to do. He is retired and has a good income. When my wife (His only sister and sibling) died I asked if he would be willing to share half the cost of her funeral. He agreed. The funeral home…
Did your loved one want to go, or fight until the end?
I have been caring for my beloved mom for about two and a half years now as she has suffered through ovarian cancer -and I mean suffered in the strongest sense of the word. We had no idea what we were in for in March 2008 when she had her initial hysterectomy/debulking..we have been through chemo, radiation, MRSA, staph,…
This site..
I have been going though another rough patch...the good thing is that each one I hit...I handle and the next one gets less horrible. Some family drama is also adding to the mix...and trying to keep the two things separate...Bills death/family drama..is not easy. People in general..including family members simply don't…
Anyone gone through denial?
I am now going through a period I call denial. I have been keeping so busy, I just push my grief to the side and think of other things. I remember last week....tears all day, taking to my bed....and just feeling the worst that I ever have. I know that I will go through that again, but I am so scared of it that I am just…
today was one of those days.....
Today sitting in a three hour traffic jam...brought on a wave of emotion that I have not felt in many weeks....lucky for me I was alone in the car and could let it all out...I screamed....I cried....I shook my fist at the heavens...I am just so angry ! and I am feeling totally alone and frightened..which is something I…
Numbness has worn off.....
Last night was horrible. I could not quit crying and there was a physical pain in the pit of my stomach. There is an open, raw wound that hurts more than any pain I have had. I want to go to church today but feel like I may just lose it at any time. I'm depressed....no drugs helping at this point. Cold and rainy weather…
Does anyone else feel like this?
My Grandma passed away on July 31st from tongue cancer. I was her caregiver, and she meant the world to me. I think I've been coping with her passing well I guess. There are things that remind me of her every day that make me sad. And there are things that will just make me laugh at old memories. Something that's been on…
I want her back.
I lost my mother to lung Cancer May 6th. She was diagnosed in October of last year, and went through two different chemo treatments. She seemed to be doing good, but then the mass came back very quickly, and her body was just done. She ultimately died of pneumonia. I have so many mixed feelings. When she was sick, she came…
Maybe I am thinking too much
Have any of you that have lost a family member wondered why some people have never responded? First of all I need to set the record straight that so many people have stepped up to the plate and been supportive to me and my daughter after the death of my wife. There however are some that we have known for years that have…
My feelings the first month
The first week was the most difficult. The quiet, so quiet. The sudden end of activity that consumed my life for over 2 years, not to mention the interaction with my spouse for 32 years just stopped, everything, just stopped! I remember our very first conversation in April of 1975 and our last words of July 29th 2010 –…
I am not very good at this grieving business
Today is 8months since I lost my husband and I am beginning to fall apart. I have spent the last 8 months getting my girls and me a roof over our heads and getting us some financial security. We have moved into a new home and my new job is going well. Maybe its because I am not running around trying to fix things that I am…
The death of my mother
My mother was born April 19th 1954 in Damascus, Syria. She met my father in Syria in 1976. He was a Swedish military officer working in the Middle East for the UN. They had a classic "love at first sight" moment. My father went back to Sweden but they kept in touch. My mother joined a group of Syrian ladies traveling to…
"When Your Loved One Dies of Cancer, What Next?" link to a great web site!
For those who have lost someone to cancer, here is a site that might prove helpful: http://blog.cincovidas.com/when-your-loved-one-dies-of-cancer-what-next Love, Courage, and Peace of Mind! Rick
Two weeks ago today
My dear husband died. For some reason today was particularily hard. I had company and we went out for a nice lunch but as soon as they left I started crying. It doesn't help that it is a dark gloomy day today in the northeast. All I kept thinking about today is what John and I were doing last year at this time. I know that…
Having Issues...
I am having some issues with a friend of mine...she is having some problems with..ok life in general....work..husband..etc..etc. Her husband troubles are nothing new...he is a slug..they bearly commuinicate...do nothing together..they orbit in two separate worlds...but again this is nothing new. But I am having problems…
after almost 3 years my moms fight is over
after almost 3 years my moms fight ended a week and a half ago. i was with her all the way...every doctors visit, every chemo appointment, every ER visit, and every hospital stay. the last 2 weeks in the hostpial were especially rough, but i got her wish granted to be taken home to pass away there. she left me/us only a…
just a process ? right?
I have been really focused on trying to maintain a positive attitude while moving though this maze call GRIEF... Now today for no apparent reasons....no triggers...not working today...lots of down time...and out of the blue comes the cloud... Bill and his death are right up front in my mind...every place I look brings…
Sometimes its the oddest thing that derails me...
Ok..so I am doing really good....working...planning for the future...even working on pre-planning my own end of life stuff..seeing as I have no children....planning the cruise....felt solid and in control.... Well this past Monday our usual meeting facilitator was on vacation and there was a fill-in..who just happened to…

Grief and Bereavement

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