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Grief and Bereavement

My mom's birthday is today :(
My mom passed away a little over a year ago and still to this day the pain is unbearable. I am still suffering from a broken heart and constantly have a heart ache. I feel so empty and lost without her. I have a repetitive blank feeling that seems to never get better on days like today. I was only 14 when she was diagnose,…
Both Parents have cancer right now
I found out 2 weeks ago my dad has pancreatic cancer, he came home from the hospital yesterday after surgery and will have chemo in a few months. My mom was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer in october 2009 and has had 2 surgerys and chemo also. My mom was doing well for awhile and now her count is going back up, and…
Flash Backs
We are coming up on the 5 mo. marker of my husband's passing. I find lately I get flashbacks of the 15 mos. of his illness...difficult, sad flashes. I don't know if this is partly due to now going through this cancer routine with my mom. Just wishing for some normalcy in my life.
Say what?????
I went to a group meeting tonight that hospice holds on loss of a spouse. A lot of the people there were a bit older than myself, but many of them agreed that the 2nd year is harder than the first. Really, are they serious? I cannot imagine anything worse than how things are now and Doug just died 2 months ago. Oh God…
New Traditions...
Most know my story, lost my mom to SCLC 9/23, just dx 3/1. Lost my mother in law to EC 10/24, dx late June. Holidays are coming. My family ALWAYS got together at mom's, husbands family never had anything....Plus the fact mom's bday is Nov 27th. I have 2 boys..17 and 21, we need to create our own new traditions, but it is…
Sometimes its just ok....
Well yesterday brought a new aspect of this widow thing to my doorstep....car accident...totally my fault...totally toasted the front end of my brand new car...its only a car. But the silver lining to this is that immediately post wreck I swung into gear...insurance...towing...rental...DONE! This would not have been me in…
Thank You
I am going to leave this board, it’s time I want to thank all of you for the amazing support during and after my wife’s illness. I try to pray for each of you every night, day, morning. You are all brave and courageous. Life for me is moving forward, sometimes 5 steps forward, 4 steps back, but it is moving. For the first…
It never ends
Next week I am going to our condo in Fl to scatter Hank's ashes as were his wishes. I am so dreading this trip. Not just for that reason but we had such good times there and this will be the first time without him. To add to the stress my mil was hospitalized after a fall which required a full hip replacement, then…
I just feel so sorry
My mother died last week. I was off work for 7 1/2 months caring for her. At times it was really hard, being back living at home with mum & dad. I was snappy and impatient and cranky at times. Now that mum is gone, I can't help feeling so sorry. How could I be such a spoilt cranky brat when my mother was dying? I knew she…
Getting out of the hole...any suggestions
I have hit a wall this week. Everything has been an effort. Everyday this week I have struggled to get out of bed, to get dressed, to get the kids to school, to get through a day at work and when we get home, it takes a mighty effort to get dinner on the table and to keep going til the kids get to bed. Its not that I am…
Here We Go Again
Lost my wonderful husband in June after a yr. long battle with brain cancer. My mother has been diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer and we are trying to decide what route to take. Because of her age (85) and some health issues, it comes down to a full mastectomy or doing nothing and letting the cancer take its course. I…
Dreams - two the same
Hi all , I dont know if Im trying to make sense of a no sense situation if you know what I mean lol. My wonderful mum passed away nearly three months ago aged 61, she went into hopsital 25th June , 2 and half weeks later she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and then two and half weeks later she passed away. My dad, sister…
Surviving "Those Days"
Today is Doug's birthday, one of those days that emphasize our loss. Our family went to a volunteer firefighters benefit laua last night, and we gathered together for breakfast out this morning. The laua was very nice and we had our own table. Doug had been a volunteer with the department many years ago. A couple of his…
Anniversary Angst
Tomorrow is our forty-second anniversary and Thursday was the five-month anniversary of my husband's death. Sad sad week. I'm having trouble getting through today. I can't imagine how depressing tomorrow will be. A comedian I enjoy, once made a joke about feeling so low he could "limbo under a rug." That is how I'm…
the Bible says....
3.God is with you—always and forever, in the midst of every challenge. “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged" (Deuteronomy 31:8). No matter what happens, it can be used for good. “And we know that in all things God works for…
One Year
Today marks one year since Doug died. Funny, or maybe unfunny, I don't feel any different. It doesn't mark the end of my mourning period. It doesn't change my grief. We set these artificial timelines sometimes. I did take my rings off yesterday. I don't know why. I just did. I am wearing them on a chain around my neck. I…
I hate weekends!
It's just that the normality and routine of the week is comforting and no matter who is around and what I am doing, weekends just aren't the same. Guess this is just ONE more thing to get over and grieve through, like so many other things in my life right now.
Discussion boards
I find myself going to the other Discussion Boards; reading the posts and wishing I was commenting under the Head and Neck discussions instead of Grief and Bereavement. It seems I'm always looking backwards and reliving the events of the past year. Maybe because the future is unbearable right now???
Good song to listen to.....
"I will never say goodbye" by Danny Gokey.....go to youtube and listen to it. Good one for all of us during these times....we are not alone! Gayle
Some Days
Some days I can do things around the house, and then all of a sudden the tears start. I look at something that was Dale's and cry. He has only been gone a month and 1/2. I can't believe he is not here, he left me. I had Dale's memorial on 9-29, since then no one has called. I guess they are all back in their own little…
Today
Today would have been my wedding anniversary, 24 years. Since I started couseling and meds I have been doing a little better, but today it all came crashing down on me again. I still can't believe he's not here any longer. I basically just stayed in bed most of the day. I know there are going to be a lot of "firsts" as the…
Life is black and white
Hi , Since loosing my mum on 30 July this year, She was 61 yound, barring the pain and tears which is unbearable, but I life has a whole new meaning, infact their is no meaning anymore to life. Im not suicidal and would never do anything like that, but its like someone has taken my rose tinted glasses off and when I look…
Lost in Space
It's been 4 weeks since my wife passed away from breast cancer. I find myself lost in this large house where it used to be such a happy place. Coming home to speak to her daily and seeing her smiling face. Now it is just a house not a home. My wife died on September 8th and my grandaughters 1st bithday was on the 24th. I…
Well the grief tidal wave arrived...
Sadly is time for me to switch gears...this thing has me in is cross hairs and unless I face off with it I will never be whole again. The past couple of weeks have been rough...thinking the new car was the beginning of it all..but anyway...my emotions have been all over the map and my choices and decisions less than…
Dating?????
I am not sure if this subject has been brought up before or not. Have any of you thought about when you might date? I realize that most everyone here has recently lost their loved ones but I thought I’d throw the subject out and see what happens. Don’t worry-I’m not asking any of you out, well then again…..(LOL) I was “Set…
Helpful book
If you can find a book called One's Company by Barbara Holland, you may find it helpful. She talks about dealing with life when you live alone. She was divorced, but she has talked to people who have been widowed, etc. The book is both accurate and in some cases amusing. I read it years ago after my mother died and have…
Memory Bear
Here is the newest creation that arrived in the mail on Thursday. A memory bear made out of my husband's jeans, red sox cap and the bear is wearing his Ferrari cap! Mary
Table for one...
Cooking has always been an avocation for me. When my husband was healthy, we savored our meals. When my husband became ill (both with colon cancer and heart disease), I dramatically re-vamped our diet and it became a low-fat, heart (and, I hoped, cancer-healthy) one. It just one more among many challenges that faced us,…
Stirring Up Memories
A close family member of mine had elective surgery last week. He developed confusion and had to be transferred to intensive care for monitoring for a few days. Although the cause of his confusion was determined and it was known that it would resolve eventually, I was somewhat surpised how it affected me. I was calm and…
Boston Brain Tumor Walk
My daughters and I volunteered today at the First Annual Brain Tumor Walk in South Boston. It was an inspiring day, but brought on a mix of emotions. This was a fundraiser for research on all brain tumors. We listened to several testimonials of indivuals and families fighting this disease, and all the struggles, and ups…

Grief and Bereavement

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