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My Story

Well here I am telling the beginning of my story.  It isn't anything special but I think it will help if I just write it down because I really don't like talking about it in person.  My last mammogram was in January 2015. During that time I was the main care taker of my mom who suffered from dementia plus I work full time. When January 2016 came around my mom was in the last stage and quickly declining.

Post Thyroidectomy

Hi, my name is B and I am a 35 year old woman from Southern NE.  I 'd like to share with you my story:

Bravemama's picture


Funny how this cancer stuff can cause so much emotional pain.  My husband has pulled away so much and I am so alone.  He claims he is terrified of me dying yet I feel like it would be easier if I was dead, then there would be a reason for our distance.  My heart is crushed as I feel so alone.  I didn't realize how the big diagnosis would change so much.  Oh how I wish he would just hold me and cherish whatever time we have left.  

thedisgustingcancer's picture

how do you create intimacy

I am trying so hard to live a somewhat normal life with my husband with a trach with him in so much pain all the time. I try to rub his back or his legs and feet and he seems to resist every attempt of affection towards him. I have no idea what role to play anymore. I try to be a caregiver and he rejects me and says he can do everything himself. I try to be loving and he rejects my love I hug him he says it hurts to touch him. I am so lost in this relationship I get so much resentment projected at me for everything.

thedisgustingcancer's picture

I am screaming why???? We were so happy Cancer screwed our happiness

I am living in a nightmare the worst one of all, I had so much ahead of us so much future so much hope. But its all gone I wonder when it will return. 

precancerous lesions

I have had anal cancer with 28x radiation tmt along with 2/ 96 hour chemo tmts. which ended in June 2016. I went to have my port removed but learned i have precancerous lesions they want to remove. Has anyone had this procedure to let me know what to expect?




I know why I write this.  I don't know why anyone reads this. It's rambling, disorganized, unstructured, probably most of which no one else can relate to.  I call them "chapters" but I think that they really are not.  I just end and begin another one when one seems to need ending. But for me the writing is helpful and, although I don't like the word- therapeutic.

My Journey

My journey began November 4,2014

The previous week I had a biopsy on what I thought was a rash. The results came back as Malignant Melanoma. 

At the time, I worked for a dermatologist ( Gods Grace no doubt) so by the end of the day, I was undergoing the surgical procedure to remove the spot that I was told was about the size of a pencil eraser. It was on my back and I never even saw it. 

I was immediately referred to an Oncologis. I wanted to wait until after Thanksgiving but was urged not to wait. 


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