Funny Bonz IV

Alexandra said:

Newspaper Corrections

 

At least one positive thing can be said to have come from the sixteen-day government shutdown that brought nearly all federal agencies to grinding halt.  Someone finally threw out that can of soup that's been languishing in the lunchroom refrigerator.  Yes, the federal Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) cleaned out their employees' lunchroom fridge and discovered a leftover can of Campbell;s soup that had taken up residence there since 1997. (Source: WashingtonPost.com)

GSRon said:

OK.. you are warned..

OK.. you are warned.. laughter is apt to break out when you see this video... 

http://www.youtube.com/embed/2kpjnGWPmj0

Ron

T-Shirts for Sale:

7 days without a pun make one weak.

Santa's helpers are subordinate Clauses.

Her bootlegging was illegal, but I loved her still.

Poultry in Motion.  (with chickens walking)

A tardy cannibal gets the Cold Shoulder

A backward poet writes inverse.

Never play cards in the Serengeti.  There are too many cheetahs.

I regret not developing my photographic memory.

For Lease Navidad.

Once I was a tap dancer but I fell into the sink.

Mathemeticians wear glasses because they improve division.

'Tis better to have loved a short person than never to have loved a tall.

When I talk about computers, I make my motherboard.

Ancient orators tended to Babylon.

Dishonest golfers don't play the fairway.

That cheese doesn't belong to you.  It's nacho cheese.

My theory on inertia has no momentum.

Who the hell is Gary ?
Well Gary is the geezer who got home late one night and his wife says "Where the hell have you been?"
Gary replies "I was getting a tattoo!"...
"A tattoo"? She frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"
"I got a hundred dollar note on my privates" he said proudly.
"What the hell were you thinking"? She said, shaking her head in disgust. "Why on earth would a CPA get a hundred dollar note tattooed on his privates?"
"Well,
       One, I like to watch my money grow. 
       Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.
       Three, I like how money feels in my hand.
       And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred dollars anytime you want."

Gary is now in The Critical Care Unit, Room 233. No visitors until further notice.

angec said:

ONLY YOU, Alex can tell these

ONLY YOU, Alex can tell these jokes! It did make me laugh!  Hope you are well!

This attractive woman is at the Dentist...  The Dentist says, "Wow, that tooth has got to come out.."  The woman replies.." I would rather have a baby than have my tooth pulled."  To which the Dentist answerw... "OK but I will have to adjust the chair.."..  (hope that is not a repeat..).

Ron

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkmeoYKYctw

Wear Depends while watching

Just bumping this thread for the newbies.