Funny Bonz IV

1234568»

Comments

  • donna_lee
    donna_lee Member Posts: 1,045 Member
    #142
    Alexandra said:

    Newspaper Corrections

     

    What a stud.

    Sorry, aliens.

    Porn star priest.

    Hard to swallow.

    Honest..it's in a trade newsletter

    At least one positive thing can be said to have come from the sixteen-day government shutdown that brought nearly all federal agencies to grinding halt.  Someone finally threw out that can of soup that's been languishing in the lunchroom refrigerator.  Yes, the federal Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) cleaned out their employees' lunchroom fridge and discovered a leftover can of Campbell;s soup that had taken up residence there since 1997. (Source: WashingtonPost.com)

  • GSRon
    GSRon Member Posts: 1,303 Member
    #143
    OK.. you are warned..

    OK.. you are warned.. laughter is apt to break out when you see this video... 

    http://www.youtube.com/embed/2kpjnGWPmj0

    Ron

  • donna_lee
    donna_lee Member Posts: 1,045 Member
    #144
    GSRon said:

    OK.. you are warned..

    OK.. you are warned.. laughter is apt to break out when you see this video... 

    http://www.youtube.com/embed/2kpjnGWPmj0

    Ron

    It's Thursday-Pun Time

    T-Shirts for Sale:

    7 days without a pun make one weak.

    Santa's helpers are subordinate Clauses.

    Her bootlegging was illegal, but I loved her still.

    Poultry in Motion.  (with chickens walking)

    A tardy cannibal gets the Cold Shoulder

    A backward poet writes inverse.

    Never play cards in the Serengeti.  There are too many cheetahs.

    I regret not developing my photographic memory.

    For Lease Navidad.

    Once I was a tap dancer but I fell into the sink.

    Mathemeticians wear glasses because they improve division.

    'Tis better to have loved a short person than never to have loved a tall.

    When I talk about computers, I make my motherboard.

    Ancient orators tended to Babylon.

    Dishonest golfers don't play the fairway.

    That cheese doesn't belong to you.  It's nacho cheese.

    My theory on inertia has no momentum.

     

  • garym
    garym Member Posts: 1,647
    #145
  • garym
    garym Member Posts: 1,647
    #146
  • garym
    garym Member Posts: 1,647
    #147
    Diapers vs. Depends...

    The reason why baby diapers have brand names such as Luvs and Huggies, while undergarments for old people are called Depends:

     

    When babies poop in their pants, people are still gonna Luv'em and Hug'em.

     

    When old people poop in their pants, it Depends on who's in the will!

     

  • Alexandra
    Alexandra Member Posts: 1,308
    #148
    Gary is in the hospital

    Who the hell is Gary ?
    Well Gary is the geezer who got home late one night and his wife says "Where the hell have you been?"
    Gary replies "I was getting a tattoo!"...
    "A tattoo"? She frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"
    "I got a hundred dollar note on my privates" he said proudly.
    "What the hell were you thinking"? She said, shaking her head in disgust. "Why on earth would a CPA get a hundred dollar note tattooed on his privates?"
    "Well,
           One, I like to watch my money grow. 
           Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.
           Three, I like how money feels in my hand.
           And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred dollars anytime you want."

    Gary is now in The Critical Care Unit, Room 233. No visitors until further notice.

     

     

  • angec
    angec Member Posts: 924 Member
    #149
    Alexandra said:

    Gary is in the hospital

    Who the hell is Gary ?
    Well Gary is the geezer who got home late one night and his wife says "Where the hell have you been?"
    Gary replies "I was getting a tattoo!"...
    "A tattoo"? She frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"
    "I got a hundred dollar note on my privates" he said proudly.
    "What the hell were you thinking"? She said, shaking her head in disgust. "Why on earth would a CPA get a hundred dollar note tattooed on his privates?"
    "Well,
           One, I like to watch my money grow. 
           Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.
           Three, I like how money feels in my hand.
           And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred dollars anytime you want."

    Gary is now in The Critical Care Unit, Room 233. No visitors until further notice.

     

     

    ONLY YOU, Alex can tell these

    ONLY YOU, Alex can tell these jokes! It did make me laugh!  Hope you are well!

  • GSRon
    GSRon Member Posts: 1,303 Member
    #150
    angec said:

    ONLY YOU, Alex can tell these

    ONLY YOU, Alex can tell these jokes! It did make me laugh!  Hope you are well!

    The Dentist

    This attractive woman is at the Dentist...  The Dentist says, "Wow, that tooth has got to come out.."  The woman replies.." I would rather have a baby than have my tooth pulled."  To which the Dentist answerw... "OK but I will have to adjust the chair.."..  (hope that is not a repeat..).

    Ron

  • Alexandra
    Alexandra Member Posts: 1,308
    #151
    I am proud to live in Toronto (suburbs)

    I don't know if anyone has been following the bizzare behavior of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford including his heavy drinking, smoking crack, doing coke, sex scandals, fighting with the police, association with mafia, etc. I find him very amusing and sort of a kindred spirit.

    Here's his latest "Eating Out" scandal http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4siKr6qY8w (mature themes) and his "Crazy Rant" caught on video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcPD7tzcU60 (violence, coarse language)

    And for all other cities: "How to Tell if Your Mayor is Smoking Crack" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0q_uLzEljo8

  • Alexandra
    Alexandra Member Posts: 1,308
    #152
    New Zealand Commercial

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkmeoYKYctw

    Wear Depends while watching

     
  • garym
    garym Member Posts: 1,647
    #153
  • rhominator
    rhominator Member Posts: 233 Member
    #154
    Bump

    Just bumping this thread for the newbies.

Discussion Boards