Stupid stuff people say about us having Breast cancer.

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  • simplygrace
    simplygrace Member Posts: 10
    #142
    sweetvickid said:

    Too a few people I have said
    Too a few people I have said , "YOU know cancer is cureable but stupidity isn't." I too got tired of being told how good I looked when I knew I didn't. I ran in to one of my cousins (male) and he asked how I was doing and I said doing good. Bless his heart he said, "Really? You look like crap." Of course he was horrified and kept apologising but I thanked him for his honesty.

    I went back to work after my
    I went back to work after my mastectomy and one of my co-workers (young girl) said, "So um how are you making out with ya know your cancer?" All I could do was laugh. She was so sweet and innocent. It was just really funny!

    Amy
  • Boppy_of_6
    Boppy_of_6 Member Posts: 1,138
    #143
    sweetvickid said:

    Too a few people I have said
    Too a few people I have said , "YOU know cancer is cureable but stupidity isn't." I too got tired of being told how good I looked when I knew I didn't. I ran in to one of my cousins (male) and he asked how I was doing and I said doing good. Bless his heart he said, "Really? You look like crap." Of course he was horrified and kept apologising but I thanked him for his honesty.

    People amaze me
    It is amazing what some people say. As most of us I have gotten well you look good, well thank you.......I guess. The one that stands out most was "Has your hair always been that curly?" Me "no" Well some women have to pay to get their hair like that. I though to my self I really would rather have simply gone to the beautician and paid for a perm but the dx, surgery, chemo and rads just made it so much more interesting! I did pay!! In more ways than one! God Bless
    (((Hugs))) Janice
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #144
    chenheart said:

    You Can't Fix Stupid
    One of the stupidest things said to me was : "How awesome~ you must be thrilled you have curly hair now; it was always so straight before!"

    Yeah, that surgery, chemo and radiation was sooooo worth the curly hair! What? I couldn't have just gotten a perm????? LOL

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    @chen
    wow...is all i can say
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #145
    Wolfi said:

    There are so many.....
    1. My father said to my (16 year old) daughter - "Your mom will have to get reconstruction or wear prosthetics in order to look normal." Thanks, dad. (I guess he would be too embarrassed to be seen with me if I just wore a shirt and was myself.)

    2. "Well at least you only have to have radiation and not chemo." (I know chemo can be very bad, but not much of this stuff is very much fun.)

    3. "At least you won't lose your hair." (but losing both breasts is ok?)

    4. "Are you ok?" (this is followed by a "concerned" look and staring at me for at least 5 minutes) This is almost always asked by someone who I know doesn't really care about how I am and just wants info so they can tell everyone else.

    5. "You look tired." Usually said by the same people who say #4.

    HONESTLY I was lucky with comments for most part
    worst is nice ONLY radation & surgery! NOW YOU can get bigger boobs! (if got Plastic surgery)

    as classmate of my then 16 yr old said OH I can't wait until your mom loses all her hair..

    little did HE Know I didnt'have chemo & never did. IT REALLY bothered my daughter..when she finally told me (SO not to hurt my feelings) I just explained this guy was a jerk and I was ok with it so just don't respond to him!
  • dbhadra
    dbhadra Member Posts: 344 Member
    #146
    Boppy_of_6 said:

    People amaze me
    It is amazing what some people say. As most of us I have gotten well you look good, well thank you.......I guess. The one that stands out most was "Has your hair always been that curly?" Me "no" Well some women have to pay to get their hair like that. I though to my self I really would rather have simply gone to the beautician and paid for a perm but the dx, surgery, chemo and rads just made it so much more interesting! I did pay!! In more ways than one! God Bless
    (((Hugs))) Janice

    my favorite one...
    is still my son's friend's mother who after I told her my dx, immediately told me about her best friend in college who died of breast cancer at 28!

    She was so embarassed she then said "but my sister in law also had it, and she's doing great!"

    The upside is she's been so nice since then and gives my son a lot of rides to events, I think in part because she still feels bad about her comment!

    "Your hair will grow back" - yes, but my breasts won't.

    and the ever perky "You look great"!
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    #147
    sweetvickid said:

    Too a few people I have said
    Too a few people I have said , "YOU know cancer is cureable but stupidity isn't." I too got tired of being told how good I looked when I knew I didn't. I ran in to one of my cousins (male) and he asked how I was doing and I said doing good. Bless his heart he said, "Really? You look like crap." Of course he was horrified and kept apologising but I thanked him for his honesty.

    I don't understand -
    why you'd say that - Cancer is not cureable at this time! The best we can get is NED.
  • Katz77
    Katz77 Member Posts: 598
    #148
    Well I've had a few
    Well I've had a few comments. You look good bald. Well my ears stick out and I have a large nevus on the right side of my head, and a couple smaller ones. Looks like a hairy worm.
    Think the weirdest on was from my own boob surgeon. I work as a surgical tech and was assisting with a port insertion. Now mind you this guy has been taking off my boobs and feeling me up for the last 18months.
    I was fairly new at this hospital and was "training". Been in surgery for 20 yrs and have lots of experience. So ports in and he was putting the dressing on. I said "what you dont trust me to put on a dressing?" He informed me "that if a port gets infected its a big problem." I kind of patted mine, which it took him 2.5 hrs to insert and said "yeah guess I would'nt understand that." He looked little embarassed and said guess you would. I finished the dressing. Guess Im treated as normal and it does feel nice. Not any uncaring comments. Good idea Pat. Hugs and warm fuzzies to everyone :)
  • Different Ballgame
    Different Ballgame Member Posts: 868
    #149
    chenheart said:

    You Can't Fix Stupid
    One of the stupidest things said to me was : "How awesome~ you must be thrilled you have curly hair now; it was always so straight before!"

    Yeah, that surgery, chemo and radiation was sooooo worth the curly hair! What? I couldn't have just gotten a perm????? LOL

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    I can't believe anyone could be so stupid!!
    Dear Claudia,

    I don't believe my eyes and ears!!! That probably is the most stupid, insensitive thing I have ever heard. I would love to meet that person just to observe her.

    Hugs,
    Janelle
  • pinkflutterby
    pinkflutterby Member Posts: 615 Member
    #150
    Katz77 said:

    Well I've had a few
    Well I've had a few comments. You look good bald. Well my ears stick out and I have a large nevus on the right side of my head, and a couple smaller ones. Looks like a hairy worm.
    Think the weirdest on was from my own boob surgeon. I work as a surgical tech and was assisting with a port insertion. Now mind you this guy has been taking off my boobs and feeling me up for the last 18months.
    I was fairly new at this hospital and was "training". Been in surgery for 20 yrs and have lots of experience. So ports in and he was putting the dressing on. I said "what you dont trust me to put on a dressing?" He informed me "that if a port gets infected its a big problem." I kind of patted mine, which it took him 2.5 hrs to insert and said "yeah guess I would'nt understand that." He looked little embarassed and said guess you would. I finished the dressing. Guess Im treated as normal and it does feel nice. Not any uncaring comments. Good idea Pat. Hugs and warm fuzzies to everyone :)

    My totally crazy EX sister
    My totally crazy EX sister in law actually told me I got breast cancer because I need to be more forgiving. That I had some issues in my past that I need to forgive someone for and my cancer would be gone! And she invited me to some "preacher" who could heal me. I believe in God but I do not believe he give powers to quacks to heal people. They only want our money!
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #151
    pinkflutterby said:

    My totally crazy EX sister
    My totally crazy EX sister in law actually told me I got breast cancer because I need to be more forgiving. That I had some issues in my past that I need to forgive someone for and my cancer would be gone! And she invited me to some "preacher" who could heal me. I believe in God but I do not believe he give powers to quacks to heal people. They only want our money!

    pinkflutter
    All I can say is wow...mouth still opened
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #152
    teen friend of child
    I can't wait until YOU MOM loses her hair! heartless...little did he know I did not need chemo!
  • lizzie17
    lizzie17 Member Posts: 548
    #153
    ppurdin said:

    Karma is out their.
    My niece as you can tell is very out spoken like her mother,who is my half sister.We are so not a like,Thank God for that.My sister has had BC.8yrs. ago.And she told me that it would be cheaper to have a masectomy then the treatments.I didn,t know what to say other then some things you can,t put a price on.My daughter says mom you need to stop hanging out with them,they can be so un feeling and mean.I know she is right,but I keep hoping one day they will change.I doubt it.(Pat).I might add that she didn,t get a mesectomy either.If I had to of course I would have,but I didn,t.

    I have a half sister too
    and she had criticized me since I could talk. Needless to say, we just don't talk anymore, I finally wised up. No need for all that stress.
  • lizzie17
    lizzie17 Member Posts: 548
    #154
    ppurdin said:

    Karma is out their.
    My niece as you can tell is very out spoken like her mother,who is my half sister.We are so not a like,Thank God for that.My sister has had BC.8yrs. ago.And she told me that it would be cheaper to have a masectomy then the treatments.I didn,t know what to say other then some things you can,t put a price on.My daughter says mom you need to stop hanging out with them,they can be so un feeling and mean.I know she is right,but I keep hoping one day they will change.I doubt it.(Pat).I might add that she didn,t get a mesectomy either.If I had to of course I would have,but I didn,t.

    I have a half sister too
    and she had criticized me since I could talk. Needless to say, we just don't talk anymore, I finally wised up. No need for all that stress.
  • lizzie17
    lizzie17 Member Posts: 548
    #155
    tommaseena said:

    STUPID
    My fathers' girlfriend said, "You don't look sick" Well what the hell-how am I suppose to look.

    Comments about being bald is not what I want to hear from someone that is dating my father.

    And her husband died of cancer--don't know what kind but at this point I don't give a damn.

    Hugs,
    Margo

    my daughter had serious kidney issues and we prayed for her at Church the day before the surgery. She was 10 at the time. I was shocked at how many people said, "she doesn't look sick."
  • bunya
    bunya Member Posts: 11
    #156
    Wolfi said:

    There are so many.....
    1. My father said to my (16 year old) daughter - "Your mom will have to get reconstruction or wear prosthetics in order to look normal." Thanks, dad. (I guess he would be too embarrassed to be seen with me if I just wore a shirt and was myself.)

    2. "Well at least you only have to have radiation and not chemo." (I know chemo can be very bad, but not much of this stuff is very much fun.)

    3. "At least you won't lose your hair." (but losing both breasts is ok?)

    4. "Are you ok?" (this is followed by a "concerned" look and staring at me for at least 5 minutes) This is almost always asked by someone who I know doesn't really care about how I am and just wants info so they can tell everyone else.

    5. "You look tired." Usually said by the same people who say #4.

    No...REALLY!!!
    A few people after asking me how I feel (and I answer"Just fine!") have said, "NO..Really! How are you?" I think I look fabulous when I look in the mirror. And it's stupid how many people will look straight at my chest while talking to me about it.
  • sweetvickid
    sweetvickid Member Posts: 459 Member
    #157
    Rague said:

    I don't understand -
    why you'd say that - Cancer is not cureable at this time! The best we can get is NED.

    technically
    you are right but I kept my comment simple since the person I was talking to was simple
  • sweetvickid
    sweetvickid Member Posts: 459 Member
    #158
    Rague said:

    I don't understand -
    why you'd say that - Cancer is not cureable at this time! The best we can get is NED.

    technically
    you are right but I kept my comment simple since the person I was talking to was simple
  • shelbyhome
    shelbyhome Member Posts: 145
    #159
    TraciInLA said:

    BUMP IN THE #$%*& ROAD?!?
    I'm speechless over that one -- you've got to be kidding me.

    My "bump in the road" is 6 months so far, with several more months to go....So many people think you just go in for a little snip snip, back to work after a few days, maybe then some radiation, but that's just like getting an x-ray, right? A month or two, tops, for this cancer thing, right? >:-(

    I wouldn't be able to keep myself from smacking someone who said "bump in the road" to me.

    At least "Cousin Natly" and I don't hear that from "our" clueless relatives! :-)

    Traci

    Traci it has been almost a
    Traci it has been almost a year of "a sink hole" I like that one!!!
  • shelbyhome
    shelbyhome Member Posts: 145
    #160
    aurora2009 said:

    What I Like Is
    When my male co-workers ask how I'm doing and I reply with okay ... and they respond while looking at my boobs, "well you look like you're doing okay to me"

    Dah I guess they're tring to figure out which one had cancer?

    That's why I want the shirt
    That's why I want the shirt that says " Yes they are fake my real ones tried to kill me"
    That's where they all look as they are talking to me.
    My girlfriend said when I was DX oh now you are going to have bigger ones than me and oh so perky, I can't wait to see her and show her and then see how jealous she is and if she would like to go thru this!!! I am thinking NOT!!!

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