Stupid stuff people say about us having Breast cancer.

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  • Zhentup
    Zhentup Member Posts: 43
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    carkris said:

    Last week went in for chemo
    Last week went in for chemo with my husband and daughter. I have not had a good time of it withthe bumm issues that persist etcc.... He saw me in the waiting room and said what number is this? I said 8 he said boy that went fast. My daughter said you should have seen your face. i just said not for me!!!! grrrr

    All I can say
    All I can say is that since I had my own double mastectomy, I wondered what they did with them. WELL, apparently they have been cast out into the world to become all the "BOOBS" that you all are talking about!
  • boppel
    boppel Member Posts: 26
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    fauxma said:

    Oh, Mimi. What did you say
    Oh, Mimi. What did you say to her? I would have burst into laughter. Maybe she thought you hadn't been wearing a bra and that she was helping to cure you. Isn't there a big study going on about not wearing bras and cancer? Okay, I made that up. Do you still have the bra? You could return it with a note that it really helped. Or better still, tell her that you have been reading about rectal cancer and you wanted to give her something that will help with prevention and then give her a pair of panties, some nice new huge white briefs. Then when she looks at you dumbfounded you can tell her it's supposed to help as*holes. Sorry about that, but that was so ridiculous of her.
    And E_hope, I am so sorry that your hubby was so insensitive. Life is indeed priceless. I only hope that he has apologized over and over for this remark. Sometimes we shot our mouths off without thinking but this goes beyond that.
    Ladies, It just shows that people open their mouths and stuff spews out. I know I have been guilty of talking without thinking but I am trying to do better.
    Stef

    stupid remarks...
    fauxma, I am in stitches reading this, great idea about the panties....or return of the bra...yep, lots of dumb remarks. When I was going thru my 2nd Bc dx chemo rads, I tried to go work too, I was tired often, one of my co workers told me " oh just eat liver" you will feel better. When I took off a day my boss asked my husband" when is she coming back ? She should not be wasting her mind you know." I was in banking at that time. God bless you all. LOL...em
  • TLynn0102
    TLynn0102 Member Posts: 86
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    Taina said:

    stupid things...
    *** my hair is finally growing slowly after chemo tx....
    so people tell me what a nice haircut....
    not a haircut...but i just smile now....

    *** am i going to color my hair???
    don't know yet since i don't have much yet....

    *** done with chemo, rads and just started taking Tamoxifen...
    so people assume i'm healthy and ready for a normal life....
    they will never be normal life anymore....

    Stupid Doctor Comment
    I found my lump on a Wednesday morning while getting ready for work. Because of my hetic schedule I forgot to schedule my mamogram the month before. After insisting to the hubby that he had to feel the lump too we decided I would call the doctor when I got to work. I was able to get into see the Nurse Practicitioner (Dr. was too booked) and told her I needed an order to get the mamo done that day. She felt the lump and went through my history while writing the paperwork. Then she turned and asked 'Are you still smoking?' My answer was yes (why lie right?) and out of her mouth came the following: "Well, it's your cancer die any way you want". At that point I told her it was none of her f'n business what I died of and to give me the order for the mamo. I marched out of the office with a totally new outlook on the journey I was about to begin. After the dx came in positive, I called my doctor and told her what an uncaring piece of work she hired to assist her with her patients. I asked for my records, told her I would not be back and that I would pass on the bill for the appointment. I never heard from her again. She didn't dare send a bill either! Can you imagine her beside manner if this is what she says when you ask for a test order? Good golly she must have flunked the kindness course in college!
  • boppel
    boppel Member Posts: 26
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    Ritzy said:

    Not sure
    I am not sure if I should laugh at some of these, cry or be mad. Soooooooooooo, I did all of them. lol

    The ONE thing that I hate the most and I hear it all of the time is "Omg, you look so good!" or, "You look great!" Like what am I suppose to look like? Death?

    I hate that!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Sue :)

    not sure...
    I agree with that one....you look soooo good!!!! Hate that too....
    em :)
  • cantthink
    cantthink Member Posts: 36
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    Taina said:

    stupid things...
    *** my hair is finally growing slowly after chemo tx....
    so people tell me what a nice haircut....
    not a haircut...but i just smile now....

    *** am i going to color my hair???
    don't know yet since i don't have much yet....

    *** done with chemo, rads and just started taking Tamoxifen...
    so people assume i'm healthy and ready for a normal life....
    they will never be normal life anymore....

    Someone Should write a book
    Someone should really put some of these together in a book, I was laughing so hard I forgot
    how lousy I felt this morning, Thanks so much for sharing!!!
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
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    cantthink said:

    Someone Should write a book
    Someone should really put some of these together in a book, I was laughing so hard I forgot
    how lousy I felt this morning, Thanks so much for sharing!!!

    ty I 'm glad you had the
    ty I 'm glad you had the wherewith all do answer and do something about it!!!! i would have thught later about what ishould have said or done.!
  • Gloria09
    Gloria09 Member Posts: 190
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    SherryAF said:

    My sister told her son
    My sister told her 20-year-old son that I was going to be having a bilateral mastectomy and he kept saying, "what?" And then he told her he thought she said a VASECTOMY, and he couldn't understand why his AUNT was going to have a vasectomy. My sister and I had a good laugh over that one.

    Bump
    I can't believe all of these stories ... what are these people thinking?

    By the way ... how do you bump a thread?
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
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    Gloria09 said:

    Bump
    I can't believe all of these stories ... what are these people thinking?

    By the way ... how do you bump a thread?

    Gloria, you just reply to
    Gloria, you just reply to the thread and it will move to the top of the list. These are funny, aren't they? You have to have a sense of humor to get through the treatments and all the stupid comments. Take care.
  • ladybug22
    ladybug22 Member Posts: 646
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    elm3544 said:

    shortly after I told my
    shortly after I told my brother and sister in law that I had breast cancer, my sister in law had a suspicious spot on her breast. They naturally were pretty terrified but luckily she does not have cancer. When I said to my brother,"I'm sorry for what you and Yvette had to go through, I know how scared you must have been", he answered, "You have no idea." I was speechless!

    elm3544 good one
    thats a good one
  • Gloria09
    Gloria09 Member Posts: 190
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    MyTurnNow said:

    Gloria, you just reply to
    Gloria, you just reply to the thread and it will move to the top of the list. These are funny, aren't they? You have to have a sense of humor to get through the treatments and all the stupid comments. Take care.

    MyTurn
    I agree, they are funny.

    Kids are usually the ones to say the darnedest things because they are so young and innocent, they haven't experienced life yet to know any better. I think that people who are placed in an unfamiliar/uncomfortable situation are guilty of that as well. They haven;t experience cancer (or whatever eh situation) and speak before they think. I'm sure most of them kick themselves for it later (I've been guilty of that myself). But I guess that's all part of life. We learn from our own and each others experiences so it is best if we can just laugh it off most of the time. Being bitter won't do any good anyway.

    Keep the stories coming : )
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
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    carkris said:

    ty I 'm glad you had the
    ty I 'm glad you had the wherewith all do answer and do something about it!!!! i would have thught later about what ishould have said or done.!

    Old good thread
    even all of those comments were not intensional they were very stupid
  • woodsygal
    woodsygal Member Posts: 64
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    Old good thread
    even all of those comments were not intensional they were very stupid

    Wow...
    I am so amazed at the comments people say. This is a great post and was fun reading! I had been going to chemo by myself for a few times when, my "friend" decided to "be there for me" and take me to one. I get hooked up to the IV, my "friend" gets a phone call, says to me, "I have to go, he wants me". She gets up and says "It is not all about you, you know". Of course "he" was her "married" lover! The nurses were open mouthed! I have also had many "how are you's" and when I started to tell them, Got cut off, and they told me about their various health problems, or other peoples'deaths from cancer. Even my own mother told me that I was a hypochondriac and will be fine. UMMM OK!!! Sweet huh? LOL! Carlie
  • lizzie17
    lizzie17 Member Posts: 548
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    at work
    A "friend" of mine said she and another at work were holding their breasts in each hand deciding how much theirs weighed and kind of laughing..."yeah, 6 pounds gone, great!"
    No humor in that for me.
  • Hippiechick58
    Hippiechick58 Member Posts: 320
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    "Really! But you look
    "Really! But you look fantastic!"

    Dianne
  • Hippiechick58
    Hippiechick58 Member Posts: 320
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    "Really! But you look
    "Really! But you look fantastic!"

    Dianne
  • mrs gadget
    mrs gadget Member Posts: 118
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    I have had two comment that took me aback
    1) My husband's best friends wife told me tht I got breast cancer because God was getting even with me for not going to church

    2) the 2nd comment was the one we all seem to get and that is "Wow, you don't look sick" or "The wig makes you look normal"!!

    You've gotta love it!!

    Mrs Gadget
  • Clementine_P
    Clementine_P Member Posts: 518 Member
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    Ladies...
    reading these posts had me leg slapping laughing. Thank you all for the great laughs. Humor definitely helps me that is for sure.

    I have two good ones:

    Clementine to Boss: (crying) I just learned yesterday that I have cancer and need a bilateral mastectomy and chemo so will need to go out on Short Term Disability.

    Boss to Clementine: Oh, thank god, I thought you were going to tell me that you quit.


    Two days after returning to work...
    Colleague: Clementine, you're back! Welcome back it is very nice to see you. I can see that you have been sick (to which I replied, well everything is fine now so thank you very much). Then the colleague continued to say, " well, you didn't lose any weight, but you sure lost some hair"!!! All I could do at that point was to ask him if he was a ladies man when he was younger and used to woo the women with his debonaire compliments!

    :))

    Clementine
  • Tinabug
    Tinabug Member Posts: 158
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    Not what she said, but what she did
    A couple of days after my mastectomy (2) of my dear friends came over & one had just gotten breast implants(cosmetic.) The other friend told her to show me how great her new boobs looked. Sure enough, she pulled up her shirt & showed me the most beautiful breasts I've ever seen. Needless to say, when you have your breasts removed on Monday you don't want to see perfect ones on Thursday. I cried for hours after they left.

    My dad's wife kept telling me "everthing is going to be fine." If she had said it one more time I think I would have slapped her. Of course, she wasn't the one going to have to endure 2 biopsies, 4 surgeries, being breastless, chemo, being bald & all of the other "being fine" things that come with cancer. When my dad passed away in August & she kept worrying about herself, I told her "don't worry, everything is going to be fine."

    My dad's wife said "look at it this way, now you don't have to buy bras anymore."
  • Texasgirl10
    Texasgirl10 Member Posts: 668
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    Ladies...
    reading these posts had me leg slapping laughing. Thank you all for the great laughs. Humor definitely helps me that is for sure.

    I have two good ones:

    Clementine to Boss: (crying) I just learned yesterday that I have cancer and need a bilateral mastectomy and chemo so will need to go out on Short Term Disability.

    Boss to Clementine: Oh, thank god, I thought you were going to tell me that you quit.


    Two days after returning to work...
    Colleague: Clementine, you're back! Welcome back it is very nice to see you. I can see that you have been sick (to which I replied, well everything is fine now so thank you very much). Then the colleague continued to say, " well, you didn't lose any weight, but you sure lost some hair"!!! All I could do at that point was to ask him if he was a ladies man when he was younger and used to woo the women with his debonaire compliments!

    :))

    Clementine

    Is it smooth like a babies butt
    I have heard so many stupid comments that are too many to post & I've only been diagnosed for 2 1/2 months. The first one is from one of my coworkers who is also a nurse right after my hair fell out. ( Everyone knew that I was depressed about this happening)" Dawne, I just have to ask, are you bald under that hat, no I mean really is it smooth like a babies butt". I swear to you I just looked at her like she was on crack & said " yep it's as smooth as a babies butt, and are you really that stupid, no I mean really are you that stupid".

    The other one that truly stands out is from my director: " so let me see your head". I grabbed my hat and again looked at someone like they were on crack. No need for words on this one, my look said it all!

    I love the " you look good, if I didn't know that you had cancer I would never guess". Well just how in the blue hell am I supposed to look????? I get myself out of bed everyday even if I don't feel like it and put on my makeup so I will look a little normal. People please!!!!!

    Oh and if I hear one more story about aunt Betsy, or my BFF, or even Joe blow down the road who had cancer and they did just fine so you will too, I promise you I will explode. I actually told someone " oh I'm so glad your a psychic, I should have had you around before I was diagnosed so that you could have told me that I was going to get a RARE, AGGRESSIVE cancer, thanks for telling me that I'm going to be ok".

    Oh and one of the best ones besides the bald head one is this one. "Well, I know your already a great nurse, but going through this will make you a stronger nurse". All I could say was "really". I just couldn't believe it!

    Hugs to ya'll

    Dawne
  • sweetvickid
    sweetvickid Member Posts: 459 Member
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    Tinabug said:

    Not what she said, but what she did
    A couple of days after my mastectomy (2) of my dear friends came over & one had just gotten breast implants(cosmetic.) The other friend told her to show me how great her new boobs looked. Sure enough, she pulled up her shirt & showed me the most beautiful breasts I've ever seen. Needless to say, when you have your breasts removed on Monday you don't want to see perfect ones on Thursday. I cried for hours after they left.

    My dad's wife kept telling me "everthing is going to be fine." If she had said it one more time I think I would have slapped her. Of course, she wasn't the one going to have to endure 2 biopsies, 4 surgeries, being breastless, chemo, being bald & all of the other "being fine" things that come with cancer. When my dad passed away in August & she kept worrying about herself, I told her "don't worry, everything is going to be fine."

    My dad's wife said "look at it this way, now you don't have to buy bras anymore."

    Too a few people I have said
    Too a few people I have said , "YOU know cancer is cureable but stupidity isn't." I too got tired of being told how good I looked when I knew I didn't. I ran in to one of my cousins (male) and he asked how I was doing and I said doing good. Bless his heart he said, "Really? You look like crap." Of course he was horrified and kept apologising but I thanked him for his honesty.