Stupid stuff people say about us having Breast cancer.

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  • e_hope
    e_hope Member Posts: 370
    #42
    mimivac said:

    oh lord
    there are some doozies. I had a co-worker immediately tell me about her neighbor with colon cancer who was "definitely going to die." When I weakly proposed that they might be able to treat her cancer, she said to me, firmly, "No, they are just keeping her alive so that her 3 year old daughter will have some memories." Nice. Thanks for telling me that. Then this same woman handed me a plastic bag one day at work after my lumpectomy. What was it? Her USED bra. She thought I could use it. What?! I guess she thought I didn't own bras or couldn't afford one. Who gives a person diagnosed with breast cancer a used bra for god's sake?! Love all your stories.

    For e_hope whose husband accused her of costing the family money. That's just an awful remark. Your life is worth a hell of a lot more than 20,000 measly dollars. It's priceless and any man that doesn't realize that is a fool. What did he want, that you should die instead? Sorry for raggin on your husband, but I'm mad about that one. Don't you feel guilty for one moment.

    Mimi

    Mimi.. couldn't have agreed
    Mimi.. couldn't have agreed with you more about him on that one.. and as I screamed back at him I used those exact words.. and told him yes .. this is so fun.. just how I wanted to spend my year... cause you know.. we choose this diagnosis.. lol.. yea.. sometimes he can be a real insensitive ****.. like I said we didn't talk for weeks after that comment..
  • e_hope
    e_hope Member Posts: 370
    #43
    cindyc59 said:

    My soon to be ex told me
    My soon to be ex told me chemo was no big deal and people have it all the time. He also said you didn't expect me to miss Karate this week just because you have cancer. Another thing he said right after my first round of chemo was I'm not staying home from work and losing $160 just because you don't feel good. His Mom who has never once asked how I was told my kids that they should have compassion for their father.

    WOW... his mother and my
    WOW... his mother and my mother-in-law might be friends.. that's a comment she would make. Men and people just don't get it...
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #44
    mimivac said:

    oh lord
    there are some doozies. I had a co-worker immediately tell me about her neighbor with colon cancer who was "definitely going to die." When I weakly proposed that they might be able to treat her cancer, she said to me, firmly, "No, they are just keeping her alive so that her 3 year old daughter will have some memories." Nice. Thanks for telling me that. Then this same woman handed me a plastic bag one day at work after my lumpectomy. What was it? Her USED bra. She thought I could use it. What?! I guess she thought I didn't own bras or couldn't afford one. Who gives a person diagnosed with breast cancer a used bra for god's sake?! Love all your stories.

    For e_hope whose husband accused her of costing the family money. That's just an awful remark. Your life is worth a hell of a lot more than 20,000 measly dollars. It's priceless and any man that doesn't realize that is a fool. What did he want, that you should die instead? Sorry for raggin on your husband, but I'm mad about that one. Don't you feel guilty for one moment.

    Mimi

    Oh, Mimi. What did you say
    Oh, Mimi. What did you say to her? I would have burst into laughter. Maybe she thought you hadn't been wearing a bra and that she was helping to cure you. Isn't there a big study going on about not wearing bras and cancer? Okay, I made that up. Do you still have the bra? You could return it with a note that it really helped. Or better still, tell her that you have been reading about rectal cancer and you wanted to give her something that will help with prevention and then give her a pair of panties, some nice new huge white briefs. Then when she looks at you dumbfounded you can tell her it's supposed to help as*holes. Sorry about that, but that was so ridiculous of her.
    And E_hope, I am so sorry that your hubby was so insensitive. Life is indeed priceless. I only hope that he has apologized over and over for this remark. Sometimes we shot our mouths off without thinking but this goes beyond that.
    Ladies, It just shows that people open their mouths and stuff spews out. I know I have been guilty of talking without thinking but I am trying to do better.
    Stef
  • Cat64
    Cat64 Member Posts: 1,192
    #45
    fauxma said:

    Oh, Mimi. What did you say
    Oh, Mimi. What did you say to her? I would have burst into laughter. Maybe she thought you hadn't been wearing a bra and that she was helping to cure you. Isn't there a big study going on about not wearing bras and cancer? Okay, I made that up. Do you still have the bra? You could return it with a note that it really helped. Or better still, tell her that you have been reading about rectal cancer and you wanted to give her something that will help with prevention and then give her a pair of panties, some nice new huge white briefs. Then when she looks at you dumbfounded you can tell her it's supposed to help as*holes. Sorry about that, but that was so ridiculous of her.
    And E_hope, I am so sorry that your hubby was so insensitive. Life is indeed priceless. I only hope that he has apologized over and over for this remark. Sometimes we shot our mouths off without thinking but this goes beyond that.
    Ladies, It just shows that people open their mouths and stuff spews out. I know I have been guilty of talking without thinking but I am trying to do better.
    Stef

    Stef
    Hilarious! That's a good one! :-) Loved it!
    Hugz,
    Cathy
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    #46
    j916 said:

    Stupid and Sweet....
    Stupid...
    MAN!!! I'm going to have to PAY for it if i want to get a boob job!!!
    (oh really? ya wanna trade??)

    Sweet:
    I had to tell my son over the phone that I was going to have a mastectomy. He said...ok, and EXACTLY what is that...and i said..it's where they remove the entire breast...he was silent for a minute and then said very loudly.....ARE THEY GOING TO PUT IT BACK?!?!?!?
    I cracked up laughing....just what i needed.
    Gotta love our kids!!!

    Oh! That was precious!
    Oh! That was precious!oops that was directed at the son who asked if they were gonna put it back!!!
  • cindyc59
    cindyc59 Member Posts: 44
    #47
    e_hope said:

    WOW... his mother and my
    WOW... his mother and my mother-in-law might be friends.. that's a comment she would make. Men and people just don't get it...

    E
    I think it's just certain
    E
    I think it's just certain insensitive souless beings that don't get it! They are just breathing creatures, wouldn't refer to them as people! Terrible to say but it is the only way I can understand their cruelty!
  • meena1
    meena1 Member Posts: 1,003
    #48
    Cat64 said:

    Stef
    Hilarious! That's a good one! :-) Loved it!
    Hugz,
    Cathy

    I heard all the above, plus
    I heard all the above, plus the good old "you'll be fine" . OH, "you'll be fine". How r u today Meena, "gee, i am so tired, sad..." then they cut you off "you'll be fine!". my sister loves to top my cancer diagnosis, if i complain she says the good ole "you'll be fine" and goes on to tell me all her imaginary illnesses, or she had to get up early to babysit!!! yikes.
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    #49
    e_hope said:

    Mimi.. couldn't have agreed
    Mimi.. couldn't have agreed with you more about him on that one.. and as I screamed back at him I used those exact words.. and told him yes .. this is so fun.. just how I wanted to spend my year... cause you know.. we choose this diagnosis.. lol.. yea.. sometimes he can be a real insensitive ****.. like I said we didn't talk for weeks after that comment..

    Hope
    I just wonder if it had
    Hope
    I just wonder if it had been his cancer if the $20,000 would have been an issue...NOT!!!
  • m_azingrace
    m_azingrace Member Posts: 399
    #50
    meena1 said:

    I heard all the above, plus
    I heard all the above, plus the good old "you'll be fine" . OH, "you'll be fine". How r u today Meena, "gee, i am so tired, sad..." then they cut you off "you'll be fine!". my sister loves to top my cancer diagnosis, if i complain she says the good ole "you'll be fine" and goes on to tell me all her imaginary illnesses, or she had to get up early to babysit!!! yikes.

    Pity them
    Men aren't immune to cancer and neither are their mothers. They may someday be in similar circumstances. We probably should all feel sorry for them.
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
    #51
    meena1 said:

    I heard all the above, plus
    I heard all the above, plus the good old "you'll be fine" . OH, "you'll be fine". How r u today Meena, "gee, i am so tired, sad..." then they cut you off "you'll be fine!". my sister loves to top my cancer diagnosis, if i complain she says the good ole "you'll be fine" and goes on to tell me all her imaginary illnesses, or she had to get up early to babysit!!! yikes.

    I laughed my butt off
    I laughed my butt off Stef--that was so funny, especially the part about giving her a large pair of underpants. I'm roaring as I write this.

    Meena I dont have a sister so I know your sister and I are not related, but she does sound exactly like one of my relatives, who told me yesterday that she was nauseus, and just doesnt know why she's so tired. She also said everyone has problems, so just because everyone has problems does that diminish my cancer?? She's always got something wrong with her, and always knows someone who is going thru the same thing I'm going thru, but that person is doing just peachy. When people say "you'll be just fine", I say yeah how do you know, have you been thru this? OK-yes these crazy comments fry my lardy grits!!
  • ppurdin
    ppurdin Member Posts: 1,181 Member
    #52
    TraciInLA said:

    The worst I've ever heard
    I feel like buddrfly does toward what I think is the single absolute worst comment I've ever heard. It was posted on this board months ago -- by Calleen, I think I remember? Weigh in here, Calleen, if I'm wrong!

    The woman who posted had just had her mastectomy, and was lying in her hospital bed connected to some type of medical device. A co-worker came to visit her in the hospital, pointed to the device, and said, "Oh, we're suing the manufacturer of that device -- someone died while using it."

    That person should be banned from speaking to anyone, for any reason, for the rest of her life.

    Traci

    Traci
    You are so right about that one.The worst by far.(Pat).
  • cats_toy
    cats_toy Member Posts: 1,462 Member
    #53
    can I rat out myself?
    I actually mentioned how lucky I was that I got out of jury duty the last couple of years, and one of my co-workers said "Oh yeah, real lucky, you got cancer!" oops! I actually forgot the reason why I got excused...

    Cat
  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member
    #54
    e_hope said:

    WOW... his mother and my
    WOW... his mother and my mother-in-law might be friends.. that's a comment she would make. Men and people just don't get it...

    We are lucky to know some incredible men
    Just want to chime in that we here on this board have among us some husbands and boyfriends who are incredibly supportive and work really hard to understand what we're going through.

    So there are most definitely some out there, and the women in their lives are very lucky!
  • always
    always Member Posts: 256
    #55
    Laugh or Cry
    I don't know whether to laugh or cry at these crazy statements. For me so far the dumbest one was when I sat my CSR staff down in a meeting to tell them I was diagnosed and that I would be having surgery the following Thursday during my week of vacation. I was explaining that I was planning on being back on Monday (4 days after surgery)...when I was interupted with "excuse me I don't mean to make light of your situation but I am having my cervix scraped on Tuesday of next week for an irregular pap and they told me it was 3 weeks recovery so I am taking 14 days off. There will be a lot of cramping and pain"

    Seriously?

    Many years ago I lost two sons in a two year time frame. The first one to SIDS people said horrible things to me. I learned then that sometimes people even well meaning people have no clue what to say or how to act when faced with circumstances that they have never dealt with. I learned that many others find fault or reasons for bad things to happen to you as a way of protecting (in their own minds) that it won't happen to them. In the past I have tried to hang on to the good intentions and prayer for the hard and hateful...

    Now after this I think I'll add laughing and the stupidity as well...it has been a tonic.

    Thanks
  • JmG86
    JmG86 Member Posts: 53
    #56
    Unbelievable. You all are
    Unbelievable. You all are making me laugh, and making me cry. Sam, I can only think that your dad would say that to you because it is an unavoidable reminder of what you are going through, and he can't bear it. See how I can twist things for the good? And oh, the losing weight thing? "Life is short, eat dessert first" is my new mantra.
    And a used bra???? Really??? I'm not usually speachless, but that is actually so damn funny. I'm going to remember that for a long time, and it will keep me giggling. What could she POSSIBLY have been thinking? The underwear idea is priceless Stef! Okay, I will end this on that happy note, because too many sad things here as well. Oh but I do have one co-worker who feels it necessary to come to me at least once a week - no lie - to tell me of the latest news of who has cancer, is newly diagnosed, or is now doing awful, or whatever...and continues to tell me how we have to appreciate the life we have, not to take things for granted...no, really? I have run out of things to say to him. I would like to smack him in the head, that's about all I got!
  • Sam726
    Sam726 Member Posts: 233
    #57
    JmG86 said:

    Unbelievable. You all are
    Unbelievable. You all are making me laugh, and making me cry. Sam, I can only think that your dad would say that to you because it is an unavoidable reminder of what you are going through, and he can't bear it. See how I can twist things for the good? And oh, the losing weight thing? "Life is short, eat dessert first" is my new mantra.
    And a used bra???? Really??? I'm not usually speachless, but that is actually so damn funny. I'm going to remember that for a long time, and it will keep me giggling. What could she POSSIBLY have been thinking? The underwear idea is priceless Stef! Okay, I will end this on that happy note, because too many sad things here as well. Oh but I do have one co-worker who feels it necessary to come to me at least once a week - no lie - to tell me of the latest news of who has cancer, is newly diagnosed, or is now doing awful, or whatever...and continues to tell me how we have to appreciate the life we have, not to take things for granted...no, really? I have run out of things to say to him. I would like to smack him in the head, that's about all I got!

    yea my Dad
    is really insensitive. But I think he said that because he doesnt deal with illness very well. I made him apologize..then I told him he was forgiven. I dont have the energy to worry about the stupid stuff people say.
  • ppurdin
    ppurdin Member Posts: 1,181 Member
    #58
    rude without knowing it.I think?
    Me and my daughter went into the retail store that i used to work.They know about the BC.We were making small talk,and one of them look at me funny and said are you on steroids?I am so nieve that i had forgot that I have gained alot of weight since she had seen me.I should have said yes and I am going to turn into the hulk any minute.Ha.Sorry I had to share.(Pat)
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #59
    ppurdin said:

    rude without knowing it.I think?
    Me and my daughter went into the retail store that i used to work.They know about the BC.We were making small talk,and one of them look at me funny and said are you on steroids?I am so nieve that i had forgot that I have gained alot of weight since she had seen me.I should have said yes and I am going to turn into the hulk any minute.Ha.Sorry I had to share.(Pat)

    Not sure
    I am not sure if I should laugh at some of these, cry or be mad. Soooooooooooo, I did all of them. lol

    The ONE thing that I hate the most and I hear it all of the time is "Omg, you look so good!" or, "You look great!" Like what am I suppose to look like? Death?

    I hate that!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Sue :)
  • cindyc59
    cindyc59 Member Posts: 44
    #60
    Ritzy said:

    Not sure
    I am not sure if I should laugh at some of these, cry or be mad. Soooooooooooo, I did all of them. lol

    The ONE thing that I hate the most and I hear it all of the time is "Omg, you look so good!" or, "You look great!" Like what am I suppose to look like? Death?

    I hate that!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Sue :)

    Ritzy
    Ive heard that too!
    Ritzy
    Ive heard that too! You look thebest you ve looked in years. You look so young and thin. Heard all of these. All I can say is Id rather have my chubby old body back! Sometimes Ijust tell people yes it is one of the perks of chemotherapy.
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #61
    cindyc59 said:

    Ritzy
    Ive heard that too!
    Ritzy
    Ive heard that too! You look thebest you ve looked in years. You look so young and thin. Heard all of these. All I can say is Id rather have my chubby old body back! Sometimes Ijust tell people yes it is one of the perks of chemotherapy.

    I know Cindy! One of the
    I know Cindy! One of the perks...lol I like your sense of humor! Some people grrrrrrrrr

    Sue :)

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