Just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water, I was bitten by Jaws! So to speak...
Comments
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Es ist wirklich nichtaysemari said:Liebe Claudia
Ich weiss dass es nicht einfach sein kann. This news made me very sad. You have been such an inspiration to me.
Ayse
Es ist wirklich nicht einfach~but I am hopeful that I will prevail and have a long, healthy happy life!
Hugs,
Chen♥0 -
As we all are...chenheart said:I am not actually feeling
I am not actually feeling strong at all~ I am feeling scared, especially not knowing what/when the plan of action is. I will give the Dr a few hours in the morning to call me, but after that~ I am on the phone just to make sure I am somehow not caught in some endless loop.
I will indeed lean on you~ I didn't go through this alone the first time, and I am not even thinking of doing this one by myself! I am still in "ostrich Mode"; I have not done ANY research about recurrence, liver mets, treatment, survival rates, nothing! I am just not ready to own it quite yet, if that makes any sense.
Thank you again for everything you give to me; the outpouring here and FB with the Kindred Spirits who don't come in here too much anymore has been beyond anything my heart could even imagine.
As always, I am honored and humbled to know you.
Hugs,
Chen♥
... humbled and honored to know you, dear Kindred Spirit. I close my eyes and imagine all of us - via cyberspace - holding hands, forming a circle of protection. You are in the center of that circle, with your arms around our other pink sisters currently fighting a second battle.
Of course you are scared, friend. Who amongst us wouldn't be? Not one. As we've all read/written over and over here on the board - you're in a very frightening, fear of the unknown, portion of the journey. An eventual plan of action will provide relief from that fear. And relief from the agony of waiting...
We are here for you, dear Chen.
xo 12/250 -
Jackie,rjjj said:Dearest Chen...
I have not been on here for quite awhile, that never means you are not all in my heart always...especially you chenheart, who as someone else has mentioned are the soul of this board. I miss you all and pray for you always. I have had quite a time lately with my son who has had a couple breakdowns with his schitzophrenia and is now hospitalized. I have been so very depressed and realized I need to be here with you all for awhile...then I saw your post and the tears started pouring, I am so sorry you are going through this, I will keep you in my prayers and I know what a survivor you are. I have faith that you will make it through this too although it breaks my heart that you have to.
all of my love to you.
Jackie
I am so very sorry
Jackie,
I am so very sorry about your son; and for you to come back here for bolstering and support and hear about me~ well, that wasn't what you needed, was it? My heart is with you as you and your family and especially your dear son deal with such a hard, hard life.
Thank you for your prayers, they mean more than you can imagine...
Hugs,
Chen♥0 -
I don't knowChristmas Girl said:As we all are...
... humbled and honored to know you, dear Kindred Spirit. I close my eyes and imagine all of us - via cyberspace - holding hands, forming a circle of protection. You are in the center of that circle, with your arms around our other pink sisters currently fighting a second battle.
Of course you are scared, friend. Who amongst us wouldn't be? Not one. As we've all read/written over and over here on the board - you're in a very frightening, fear of the unknown, portion of the journey. An eventual plan of action will provide relief from that fear. And relief from the agony of waiting...
We are here for you, dear Chen.
xo 12/25
what to say. I've been away for awhile and when I saw this I couldn't believe it. I had to read it twice! I know you don't "know" me well, but whenever I post I am always hoping I get a response from you - as all the others have said - you are the strongest, most positive and have been here for all of us.
Please know I keep you in my prayers and close in heart. I wish I knew how to say wonderful conforting things right now but mostly I feel so very sorry and sad and need to cry and go scream at the stars!!!
It's soooo not fair!
Just know you are so very loved and treasured by all of us here.
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping you get news about the insurance and find out what the plan is, so your recovery can begin!
much love dear, dear Chen.
-Jenny0 -
Strength will come....I know you well!chenheart said:I am not actually feeling
I am not actually feeling strong at all~ I am feeling scared, especially not knowing what/when the plan of action is. I will give the Dr a few hours in the morning to call me, but after that~ I am on the phone just to make sure I am somehow not caught in some endless loop.
I will indeed lean on you~ I didn't go through this alone the first time, and I am not even thinking of doing this one by myself! I am still in "ostrich Mode"; I have not done ANY research about recurrence, liver mets, treatment, survival rates, nothing! I am just not ready to own it quite yet, if that makes any sense.
Thank you again for everything you give to me; the outpouring here and FB with the Kindred Spirits who don't come in here too much anymore has been beyond anything my heart could even imagine.
As always, I am honored and humbled to know you.
Hugs,
Chen♥
Take it all in, know that we are here to listen and to lend a hand.
You are NOT alone in this, my dear friend!!!!
The honor of your friendship is priceless!
I envision a time, MANY years from now, the two of us sitting and watching the world go by, as many old geezers do...and laughing, and remembering the first time we met face to face...and all the ups and downs we have shared since....I am lighting a candle for you each night, my wonderful Claudia!!!
Hugs, Kathi0 -
Valuable Life Lesson For ALL of Us!KathiM said:Strength will come....I know you well!
Take it all in, know that we are here to listen and to lend a hand.
You are NOT alone in this, my dear friend!!!!
The honor of your friendship is priceless!
I envision a time, MANY years from now, the two of us sitting and watching the world go by, as many old geezers do...and laughing, and remembering the first time we met face to face...and all the ups and downs we have shared since....I am lighting a candle for you each night, my wonderful Claudia!!!
Hugs, Kathi
Sweetest Family~
Believe me, aside from the obvious~the unknown, the fear, the battle ahead, etc etc, there is something I really NEED to say to all of you~ especially the newer ones among us.
I know how frightening is is to read about a recurrance; try as we might to push it out of our psyche, it is just there, isn't it? Especially with someone like me, not that I am in any way special, that is not at all what I meant. But I do know that being 7 years from my original dx made me a touch-stone of sorts...if Chen is still here and posting 7 years later,and is healthy and having fun, there is hope for us all! The flip side I know has made many of you afraid that it is NEVER behind us,and that saddens me for you.
I am not fatalistic, nor do I want you to be. But, if you value me at all, I have a request. Take from what is happening to me, and LIVE! Don't pass up the chance to be kind, to smile at strangers, to tell your kids, partners, spouses, moms you love them. That phone call you know you should make, but haven't had the time to? Make it today! Jump in a mud-puddle with your kids, let your youngest put make-up on your face or stick velcro bows all over your bald head. Make memories that are filled with as much laughter as you can!
Why? NOT because you have a death-sentence, or that, 7 years later you may have mets, but because you are alive today! And even when you live to be 100, won't it be awesome to have built a life-time of loving, smile-filled memories to add to the drama of life?
I have often said that I am not a Pollyanna, and that is still true. I am scared, and wondering how everything is going to go. But, I love all of you, and don't want to add anything negative to my sisters here, especially the new ones to the family.
I know I am rambling, and the words aren't flowing as smoothly as I'd like, but I hope you understand what I am trying to say to all of you.
Today is all we have; try and make it a good one. Even though the fear.
Hugs,
Chen♥0 -
Life Lessonchenheart said:Valuable Life Lesson For ALL of Us!
Sweetest Family~
Believe me, aside from the obvious~the unknown, the fear, the battle ahead, etc etc, there is something I really NEED to say to all of you~ especially the newer ones among us.
I know how frightening is is to read about a recurrance; try as we might to push it out of our psyche, it is just there, isn't it? Especially with someone like me, not that I am in any way special, that is not at all what I meant. But I do know that being 7 years from my original dx made me a touch-stone of sorts...if Chen is still here and posting 7 years later,and is healthy and having fun, there is hope for us all! The flip side I know has made many of you afraid that it is NEVER behind us,and that saddens me for you.
I am not fatalistic, nor do I want you to be. But, if you value me at all, I have a request. Take from what is happening to me, and LIVE! Don't pass up the chance to be kind, to smile at strangers, to tell your kids, partners, spouses, moms you love them. That phone call you know you should make, but haven't had the time to? Make it today! Jump in a mud-puddle with your kids, let your youngest put make-up on your face or stick velcro bows all over your bald head. Make memories that are filled with as much laughter as you can!
Why? NOT because you have a death-sentence, or that, 7 years later you may have mets, but because you are alive today! And even when you live to be 100, won't it be awesome to have built a life-time of loving, smile-filled memories to add to the drama of life?
I have often said that I am not a Pollyanna, and that is still true. I am scared, and wondering how everything is going to go. But, I love all of you, and don't want to add anything negative to my sisters here, especially the new ones to the family.
I know I am rambling, and the words aren't flowing as smoothly as I'd like, but I hope you understand what I am trying to say to all of you.
Today is all we have; try and make it a good one. Even though the fear.
Hugs,
Chen♥
Chen, I, for one, got the message. These past two and a half years have been like a roller coaster for me and my family, and we have so relied on others to keep our heads above water. You have just made me realize that we are responsible for our own happiness, even when faced with strife and illness. Those around us are going to see us in the light we present each and every time they are around, each and every time we post, each and every time they hear from friends who have physically been to see us, etc. It just goes to show that we are actually in the spotlight every moment of the day, no matter who we are in contact with, and everything is passed along to those who rely on others to keep them posted. Starting today, there will be a smile on my face, a skip in my walk, a chime in my voice, and a laugh to beat all laughs so that everyone will see that I am so extremely happy to be here. This recurrence is a setback, but certainly not a declaration of pending doom. You are facing treatment, and a lot of unknown that you haven't faced before. You are stronger than you think, and have been the pillar of strength for so many on this Board, and that hasn't changed. Don't be afraid to talk about your fears, your anxiety, and how your treatment is making you feel. We have big shoulders, and we will carry your load for a while. I always felt that you were the one person on this Board who really "got it" when it came to being a friend, and offering the right words for most every situation. Although we are unable to do anything physically to help, the obove postings prove that you are surrounded by a very large group of people who feel your pain, and are willing and able to offer you strength and hope, no matter what you face. I have learned over these past two years that the most accurate information you can get comes from someone who has been in your shoes, and not necessarily the sterile postings from hospitals and doctors who treat the disease. Your Kindred Spirits who have been where you are now will be your lifeline to what you are going to face, and will walk with you every step of the way. There is the "other side" of this, and we will be there when you get there...with open arms, and lots of praise for success. We love you, Chen, and this kind of love will bring you through this. Our prayers are coming to you and Reggie, and just know that this love will not stop. Take care, my friend..God Bless. Hugs, Judy0 -
A wise lady!!!!! (But I already knew that!!!)chenheart said:Valuable Life Lesson For ALL of Us!
Sweetest Family~
Believe me, aside from the obvious~the unknown, the fear, the battle ahead, etc etc, there is something I really NEED to say to all of you~ especially the newer ones among us.
I know how frightening is is to read about a recurrance; try as we might to push it out of our psyche, it is just there, isn't it? Especially with someone like me, not that I am in any way special, that is not at all what I meant. But I do know that being 7 years from my original dx made me a touch-stone of sorts...if Chen is still here and posting 7 years later,and is healthy and having fun, there is hope for us all! The flip side I know has made many of you afraid that it is NEVER behind us,and that saddens me for you.
I am not fatalistic, nor do I want you to be. But, if you value me at all, I have a request. Take from what is happening to me, and LIVE! Don't pass up the chance to be kind, to smile at strangers, to tell your kids, partners, spouses, moms you love them. That phone call you know you should make, but haven't had the time to? Make it today! Jump in a mud-puddle with your kids, let your youngest put make-up on your face or stick velcro bows all over your bald head. Make memories that are filled with as much laughter as you can!
Why? NOT because you have a death-sentence, or that, 7 years later you may have mets, but because you are alive today! And even when you live to be 100, won't it be awesome to have built a life-time of loving, smile-filled memories to add to the drama of life?
I have often said that I am not a Pollyanna, and that is still true. I am scared, and wondering how everything is going to go. But, I love all of you, and don't want to add anything negative to my sisters here, especially the new ones to the family.
I know I am rambling, and the words aren't flowing as smoothly as I'd like, but I hope you understand what I am trying to say to all of you.
Today is all we have; try and make it a good one. Even though the fear.
Hugs,
Chen♥
So, what you are saying is that I should go out and live???? Leave the house once in a while??? Whew! That sounds like work!!!
Now, seriously, I agree completely with your wise words. I learned that lesson well after being told 'you have cancer' for the second time in 6 months...NUTS! So, my life is NOT in ANY way like it was pre-cancer....it's BETTER! BUT, also, dear soul, as you said, I never leave things for another day...I'm never sure that day will come. I tell my friends and family I love them, and make sure that the important things are never left unfinished. I remember the day I was rolled down that hospital hall on a gurney, headed for the CT scan that would show how far the cancer had spread...and turning to the tech and saying "This can't be anything...I'm too busy!".
Warm hugs to you, my love...you know my heart...
Hugs, Kathi0 -
From all of us here in thechenheart said:Valuable Life Lesson For ALL of Us!
Sweetest Family~
Believe me, aside from the obvious~the unknown, the fear, the battle ahead, etc etc, there is something I really NEED to say to all of you~ especially the newer ones among us.
I know how frightening is is to read about a recurrance; try as we might to push it out of our psyche, it is just there, isn't it? Especially with someone like me, not that I am in any way special, that is not at all what I meant. But I do know that being 7 years from my original dx made me a touch-stone of sorts...if Chen is still here and posting 7 years later,and is healthy and having fun, there is hope for us all! The flip side I know has made many of you afraid that it is NEVER behind us,and that saddens me for you.
I am not fatalistic, nor do I want you to be. But, if you value me at all, I have a request. Take from what is happening to me, and LIVE! Don't pass up the chance to be kind, to smile at strangers, to tell your kids, partners, spouses, moms you love them. That phone call you know you should make, but haven't had the time to? Make it today! Jump in a mud-puddle with your kids, let your youngest put make-up on your face or stick velcro bows all over your bald head. Make memories that are filled with as much laughter as you can!
Why? NOT because you have a death-sentence, or that, 7 years later you may have mets, but because you are alive today! And even when you live to be 100, won't it be awesome to have built a life-time of loving, smile-filled memories to add to the drama of life?
I have often said that I am not a Pollyanna, and that is still true. I am scared, and wondering how everything is going to go. But, I love all of you, and don't want to add anything negative to my sisters here, especially the new ones to the family.
I know I am rambling, and the words aren't flowing as smoothly as I'd like, but I hope you understand what I am trying to say to all of you.
Today is all we have; try and make it a good one. Even though the fear.
Hugs,
Chen♥
From all of us here in the CSN community, we want to share a special song and its inspirational lyrics with you. The song is by Phil Collins & is called "Come With Me"
If you go to the url below, you'll see a live performance of the song and as your watching and listening to the song, think of all of us on stage singing the song to you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bHIqdo2V7w
“Come With Me” by Phil Collins
Lyrics
I'll try to make the sunshine brighter for you
I will even play the fool if it makes you smile
I'll try to make you laugh if there's a tear in your eye
After all is said
After all is done
I'll do anything for you.
Come with me, close your eyes
Hold my hands, it'll be alright
Don't be scared, don't be shy
Lift your head it's going be alright.
I'll try to make the star shine brighter for you
And I'll take you on my shoulders, hold you way up high
I'll even chase the rainbow hanging in the sky
Cause after all is said
After all is done
I'll do anything for you
Come with me, close your eyes
Hold my hand, it'll be alright
Don't be scared, don't be shy
Lift your head it's going be alright
Through the eyes of innocence
You will find, you will see
There'll come a time it all makes sense
And you won't know, but it will show inside, deep inside
Come with me, close your eyes
Hold my hand, it'll be alright
Don't be scared, don't be shy
Lift your head it's going to be alright
I'll try to make the days last longer for you
From the daybreak, 'til the sunset, 'til the end of time
I'll keep you safe, away from the heartache
Cause when all is said
And when all is done
I'd do anything for you
Come with me, close your eyes
Hold my hand, it'll be alright
Don't be scared, don't be shy
Lift your head it's going be alright.
Heart of Soul0 -
Wise Wordschenheart said:Valuable Life Lesson For ALL of Us!
Sweetest Family~
Believe me, aside from the obvious~the unknown, the fear, the battle ahead, etc etc, there is something I really NEED to say to all of you~ especially the newer ones among us.
I know how frightening is is to read about a recurrance; try as we might to push it out of our psyche, it is just there, isn't it? Especially with someone like me, not that I am in any way special, that is not at all what I meant. But I do know that being 7 years from my original dx made me a touch-stone of sorts...if Chen is still here and posting 7 years later,and is healthy and having fun, there is hope for us all! The flip side I know has made many of you afraid that it is NEVER behind us,and that saddens me for you.
I am not fatalistic, nor do I want you to be. But, if you value me at all, I have a request. Take from what is happening to me, and LIVE! Don't pass up the chance to be kind, to smile at strangers, to tell your kids, partners, spouses, moms you love them. That phone call you know you should make, but haven't had the time to? Make it today! Jump in a mud-puddle with your kids, let your youngest put make-up on your face or stick velcro bows all over your bald head. Make memories that are filled with as much laughter as you can!
Why? NOT because you have a death-sentence, or that, 7 years later you may have mets, but because you are alive today! And even when you live to be 100, won't it be awesome to have built a life-time of loving, smile-filled memories to add to the drama of life?
I have often said that I am not a Pollyanna, and that is still true. I am scared, and wondering how everything is going to go. But, I love all of you, and don't want to add anything negative to my sisters here, especially the new ones to the family.
I know I am rambling, and the words aren't flowing as smoothly as I'd like, but I hope you understand what I am trying to say to all of you.
Today is all we have; try and make it a good one. Even though the fear.
Hugs,
Chen♥
Claudia, these are very wise words from a very wise woman. We all KNOW these things but tend to get caught up in the moment and forget. Thanks for the reminder.
P.S. I will be behind you as you embark on this next journey to encourage and offer support and hope. I'm already looking forward to the celebration when it is over!!0 -
Chen
You are the one who has been here through thick and thin for all of us, the heart and soul of this board. You can most certainly count on us to be here for you as you go through this. I am praying so hard that everything turns out good for you. I wish I could be there with you to hold your hand through this!
Love and BIG CYBER HUGS - Pat0 -
Kathi, Meena and Chen are like the captains of the football teamKathiM said:A wise lady!!!!! (But I already knew that!!!)
So, what you are saying is that I should go out and live???? Leave the house once in a while??? Whew! That sounds like work!!!
Now, seriously, I agree completely with your wise words. I learned that lesson well after being told 'you have cancer' for the second time in 6 months...NUTS! So, my life is NOT in ANY way like it was pre-cancer....it's BETTER! BUT, also, dear soul, as you said, I never leave things for another day...I'm never sure that day will come. I tell my friends and family I love them, and make sure that the important things are never left unfinished. I remember the day I was rolled down that hospital hall on a gurney, headed for the CT scan that would show how far the cancer had spread...and turning to the tech and saying "This can't be anything...I'm too busy!".
Warm hugs to you, my love...you know my heart...
Hugs, Kathi
I look up to you guys for guidance and for strength because I am just one month out of chemo and just 6 months past my dx. It is like a see-saw for me right now. Some days I am positive and strong and others I am worried and paranoid. Especially when we see recurrences of our captains. However, you all remain so strong and full of a zest for life that I have to tell myself..I want to get there...certainly not by way of a recurrence but by way of adapting to my circumstances...accepting where I am and getting on with my life...living each day to the fullest. Instead I find myself some days running out to do errands, then running home to take my scarf off...hoping my hair will grow and doing research on everything from diet and chances of recurrence to whether I should follow through and take tamoxifen. Some days it consumes me not knowing what to do, what to eat and not eat and where to go from here with further treatment. I pray and ask God for guidance to tell me what to do and not to do and lead me in His will for my life. I am afraid to take tamoxifen because of the chances of problems with my liver and all the other side effects it can have. Initially they told me it would only increase my chance of not having a recurrence by like 9 or 10 percent. Is all the other risks worth that? I know I have asked this before and you all said YES emphatically but I guess I am scared of the unknown and what else this cancer can take from me. Losing my breast was very difficult. I don't want to lose anything else. I am wondering if diet can benefit more than the tamoxifen. Well I am rambling now. ...sorry. In closing I want all 3 of you to know that you are in my prayers and that I admire your strength and will and I know God looks down on you all and your lives and smiles upon you because you all 'get it'...you have come to a point in your lives of reckless abandon and have discarded the negative baggage and only hold on to the things in life that are really important....love, laughter, humility, selflessness, and living life to the fullest extent as if today is your last. Many of us say we are doing that or are striving to do that and struggling to do that but you 3 are there and have arrived and truly living it. God bless you all and thanks for your inspiration and courage. Love always and many hugs,
Lorrie0 -
Thank you Chen for remindingPaula1001 said:Chen
I'm sorry for your circumstances. There's nothing I can say that hasn't already been expressed here. You're in our prayer chain. Best of luck to you.
Paula
Thank you Chen for reminding me of what is important, and to everyone who has posted both here and on my reoccurrence post. I did not expect such a response. Oh, Chen..i still remember when i first came here and reading your posts you are so strong, i feel so selfish, but i want to look at you for strength again as we go thru this. take care0 -
I am so sorry to hear of
I am so sorry to hear of your recurrence. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am not always on this board, but I can tell that you are a true inspiration by all of the posts. You have such a strong spirit--I know you will beat this!0 -
Chen,CypressCynthia said:I am so sorry to hear of
I am so sorry to hear of your recurrence. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am not always on this board, but I can tell that you are a true inspiration by all of the posts. You have such a strong spirit--I know you will beat this!
It is your heart and understanding that has been there for so many and I will never forget after all the years. Once again dear Chen, don't you worry about us because we are here sitting right beside you holding your hand when WE can...
Never be sorry for one's reality and once again there is nothing you can do about that and you cannot save your friends from the truth. You now need to be there for yourself as you have been there for so many here and every where you go, I am sure. Let this be that place you can always tell the truth and let us hear how you truly feel and there is no saddeness in this.
YOU GO GIRL and keep on keepin on isn't that what we use to say!!!!!!
Tara0 -
Thanks for writing this,chenheart said:Valuable Life Lesson For ALL of Us!
Sweetest Family~
Believe me, aside from the obvious~the unknown, the fear, the battle ahead, etc etc, there is something I really NEED to say to all of you~ especially the newer ones among us.
I know how frightening is is to read about a recurrance; try as we might to push it out of our psyche, it is just there, isn't it? Especially with someone like me, not that I am in any way special, that is not at all what I meant. But I do know that being 7 years from my original dx made me a touch-stone of sorts...if Chen is still here and posting 7 years later,and is healthy and having fun, there is hope for us all! The flip side I know has made many of you afraid that it is NEVER behind us,and that saddens me for you.
I am not fatalistic, nor do I want you to be. But, if you value me at all, I have a request. Take from what is happening to me, and LIVE! Don't pass up the chance to be kind, to smile at strangers, to tell your kids, partners, spouses, moms you love them. That phone call you know you should make, but haven't had the time to? Make it today! Jump in a mud-puddle with your kids, let your youngest put make-up on your face or stick velcro bows all over your bald head. Make memories that are filled with as much laughter as you can!
Why? NOT because you have a death-sentence, or that, 7 years later you may have mets, but because you are alive today! And even when you live to be 100, won't it be awesome to have built a life-time of loving, smile-filled memories to add to the drama of life?
I have often said that I am not a Pollyanna, and that is still true. I am scared, and wondering how everything is going to go. But, I love all of you, and don't want to add anything negative to my sisters here, especially the new ones to the family.
I know I am rambling, and the words aren't flowing as smoothly as I'd like, but I hope you understand what I am trying to say to all of you.
Today is all we have; try and make it a good one. Even though the fear.
Hugs,
Chen♥
Thanks for writing this, Claudia. In a special way, your news is helping many of us, so please don't worry about scaring us. You have shared your life so generously . You did not waste one minute of those seven years that you danced with NED. I see you as someone who has given so much and continues to have so much to share. This metastases highlights, it does not diminish, the importance of savoring EVERY minute. By continuing to share your life with openness and honesty, even though it is now tinged with disappointment and fear, you are teaching us how a 50 foot woman triumphs. xoxoxox Lynn0 -
Dearest Kindred Spirit... achenheart said:Valuable Life Lesson For ALL of Us!
Sweetest Family~
Believe me, aside from the obvious~the unknown, the fear, the battle ahead, etc etc, there is something I really NEED to say to all of you~ especially the newer ones among us.
I know how frightening is is to read about a recurrance; try as we might to push it out of our psyche, it is just there, isn't it? Especially with someone like me, not that I am in any way special, that is not at all what I meant. But I do know that being 7 years from my original dx made me a touch-stone of sorts...if Chen is still here and posting 7 years later,and is healthy and having fun, there is hope for us all! The flip side I know has made many of you afraid that it is NEVER behind us,and that saddens me for you.
I am not fatalistic, nor do I want you to be. But, if you value me at all, I have a request. Take from what is happening to me, and LIVE! Don't pass up the chance to be kind, to smile at strangers, to tell your kids, partners, spouses, moms you love them. That phone call you know you should make, but haven't had the time to? Make it today! Jump in a mud-puddle with your kids, let your youngest put make-up on your face or stick velcro bows all over your bald head. Make memories that are filled with as much laughter as you can!
Why? NOT because you have a death-sentence, or that, 7 years later you may have mets, but because you are alive today! And even when you live to be 100, won't it be awesome to have built a life-time of loving, smile-filled memories to add to the drama of life?
I have often said that I am not a Pollyanna, and that is still true. I am scared, and wondering how everything is going to go. But, I love all of you, and don't want to add anything negative to my sisters here, especially the new ones to the family.
I know I am rambling, and the words aren't flowing as smoothly as I'd like, but I hope you understand what I am trying to say to all of you.
Today is all we have; try and make it a good one. Even though the fear.
Hugs,
Chen♥
Dearest Kindred Spirit... a wise woman you are...and it is NOT your body that is 50' tall.... but rather YOUR HEART. To address the fear that you know a lot of us are feeling, hearing about your news. What selflessness there is in you... I have told you once my friend... I have told you more than that, so I'll say it again... when I grow up... I want to be like you!
You are right... we need to embrace this life on a daily basis... even if at times it is moment by moment rather than day by day.
Afraid... isn't that the part of this treacherous ride? You have every right and reason to be afraid.. be an ostrich for a while if need be... you do exactly what is right for you... isn't that what you have often told us?
I hope you don't mind and if so, will forgive me... but I came across something that a woman who is very special to me wrote and I thought that maybe you should see it again... my very dear friend..
Who of us can really know
Directions that the wind may blow?
I sailed along, I made my plans
But now I'm in unchartered land
But am I lost? Or am I found?
The fear I feel~Don't let me drown!
I need the touch of those I love
Yet I seek quiet time for me
I want the laughter and the noise
But seek peace and serenity
I'll sail along and ride each wave
I'll be afraid, yet I'll be brave
The feelings of both fear and hope
With friends who care and help me cope
I know that I am so enveloped
With courage as yet undeveloped....
For those who don't know, this was written by our dear Chenheart..and yes we will all be here... being whatever it is you need us to be ... for you!
♥ with heartfelt hugs,
~T0 -
Oh ~t~ how special are you?taleena said:Dearest Kindred Spirit... a
Dearest Kindred Spirit... a wise woman you are...and it is NOT your body that is 50' tall.... but rather YOUR HEART. To address the fear that you know a lot of us are feeling, hearing about your news. What selflessness there is in you... I have told you once my friend... I have told you more than that, so I'll say it again... when I grow up... I want to be like you!
You are right... we need to embrace this life on a daily basis... even if at times it is moment by moment rather than day by day.
Afraid... isn't that the part of this treacherous ride? You have every right and reason to be afraid.. be an ostrich for a while if need be... you do exactly what is right for you... isn't that what you have often told us?
I hope you don't mind and if so, will forgive me... but I came across something that a woman who is very special to me wrote and I thought that maybe you should see it again... my very dear friend..
Who of us can really know
Directions that the wind may blow?
I sailed along, I made my plans
But now I'm in unchartered land
But am I lost? Or am I found?
The fear I feel~Don't let me drown!
I need the touch of those I love
Yet I seek quiet time for me
I want the laughter and the noise
But seek peace and serenity
I'll sail along and ride each wave
I'll be afraid, yet I'll be brave
The feelings of both fear and hope
With friends who care and help me cope
I know that I am so enveloped
With courage as yet undeveloped....
For those who don't know, this was written by our dear Chenheart..and yes we will all be here... being whatever it is you need us to be ... for you!
♥ with heartfelt hugs,
~T
Oh ~t~ how special are you? I wrote that poem back in 2003 I believe, and have long since forgotten it! I guess it is appropriate again, isn't it? Maybe even more so...
Thank you for giving me all of the love and support~ I need it more than you know. It is such a warm, safe feeling knowing you are with me. I can't begin to explain how this feels, but I am simply over the moon!
hugs back,
Chen♥0 -
The Whole Ball of Wax...chenheart said:Oh ~t~ how special are you?
Oh ~t~ how special are you? I wrote that poem back in 2003 I believe, and have long since forgotten it! I guess it is appropriate again, isn't it? Maybe even more so...
Thank you for giving me all of the love and support~ I need it more than you know. It is such a warm, safe feeling knowing you are with me. I can't begin to explain how this feels, but I am simply over the moon!
hugs back,
Chen♥
Recurrences are a harsh reality that we Survivors live with. You are kind to be concerned for us and not want us to worry, but I think, at least for me, I would rather you be honest and let us know how you are doing.
We are here for you to lean on us, warts and all( Sorry for the mental picture). My heart also goes out to the other Sisters in Pink who have shared about their recurrences as well.
We are all in this together, shove a bun and make room for us Sisters in Pink cuz we're not going to leave your side!
Love Always,
BL0
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