You Might Be A Caregiver If.......

nancyann3 said:

You may be a caregiver when............
You can count calories in your head while at work.

Convert ML's into ounces

and know where all the sales are on boost and which flavors each store has.

Jello is a major food
Jello is a major food group...
Their nap time is your nap time....
You have the softest hands in town from all the lotions you applied..
"how was your night" is the first words out of your mouth in the morning.

you might be a care giver if
when people ask what kind of cancer you loved one has and when you answer they look at you like you are speaking a different language.
when you have thought about anything unrelated to cancer scence oh heck i don't remember
when you have more meds on your kitchen table than there are in the drug store

Dave’s Top ten things he
Dave’s Top ten things he gets tired of hearing as a caregiver

1. From her friends, “She looks great! Are you sure she’s that sick?” (Nah-I’ve been making this crap up the past 2 and a half years just for the hell of it)
2. From well meaning other friends, “I don’t know how I would handle life if I was in you’re situation” (Just what does that mean? Wow that makes me feel a hell of a lot better!))
3. From well meaning acquaintances, “I prayed for both of you last night. God told me she will be healed.” (Want to sign your name to that?)
4. From our beautiful daughter, “Hey dad, can you send me money for my books for next semester? By the way, how’s mom?” (Sure sweetheart, let me go out to the money tree and yank a few hundred off the branches)
5. From my wife, “Can you buy me some Ensure at Wal-Mart, paper towels at Safeway, prune juice at Rite Aide, and Odwalla at the health food store?” (By the time I finish driving all over town did I really save money on those items?)
6. From the hospital – the bill always come to our address in big bold letters so the mail man obviously knows we owe money “David _ _ _ _ you now owe $$$$$$ and we will do all we can to assist you with this financial obligation, have a nice day.” (Yea, you have a nice day too and I hope you have a hemorrhoid that flares up)
7. From anybody who doesn’t know what else to say, “You still have a lot to be grateful for, just live for today.” (Sound words of advice, but until you’re in my situation, I don’t really want to hear that, particularly when you are leaving for Hawaii tomorrow – I hope you jet sucks up volcano dust, just enough so that you have to land in Houston for a week)
8. From my wife while eating lasagna for dinner “My BM was brown last night!” (As opposed to grey when her liver is acting up – its just the timing of your comment that’s a little off sweetheart)
9. Again from well meaning friends, family, acquaintances, not always in this order but generally a heretofore newly discover juicing regimen,” Grape juice, Acai, Blueberry Juice, and bananas cured me of my ailments, it might help her”
(What it cured you of was constipation, not cancer!)
10. And last but not least-“You really need to take care of yourself emotionally, spiritually, and physically so you can be there for your wife.” (Okay- you are right. Give me your ticket to Hawaii, Disneyworld, Italy, even Tahoe, and you stay here for 10 days and I will come back much healthier)

Thanks for this guys-venting helps.

david54 said:

Dave’s Top ten things he
Dave’s Top ten things he gets tired of hearing as a caregiver

1. From her friends, “She looks great! Are you sure she’s that sick?” (Nah-I’ve been making this crap up the past 2 and a half years just for the hell of it)
2. From well meaning other friends, “I don’t know how I would handle life if I was in you’re situation” (Just what does that mean? Wow that makes me feel a hell of a lot better!))
3. From well meaning acquaintances, “I prayed for both of you last night. God told me she will be healed.” (Want to sign your name to that?)
4. From our beautiful daughter, “Hey dad, can you send me money for my books for next semester? By the way, how’s mom?” (Sure sweetheart, let me go out to the money tree and yank a few hundred off the branches)
5. From my wife, “Can you buy me some Ensure at Wal-Mart, paper towels at Safeway, prune juice at Rite Aide, and Odwalla at the health food store?” (By the time I finish driving all over town did I really save money on those items?)
6. From the hospital – the bill always come to our address in big bold letters so the mail man obviously knows we owe money “David _ _ _ _ you now owe $$$$$$ and we will do all we can to assist you with this financial obligation, have a nice day.” (Yea, you have a nice day too and I hope you have a hemorrhoid that flares up)
7. From anybody who doesn’t know what else to say, “You still have a lot to be grateful for, just live for today.” (Sound words of advice, but until you’re in my situation, I don’t really want to hear that, particularly when you are leaving for Hawaii tomorrow – I hope you jet sucks up volcano dust, just enough so that you have to land in Houston for a week)
8. From my wife while eating lasagna for dinner “My BM was brown last night!” (As opposed to grey when her liver is acting up – its just the timing of your comment that’s a little off sweetheart)
9. Again from well meaning friends, family, acquaintances, not always in this order but generally a heretofore newly discover juicing regimen,” Grape juice, Acai, Blueberry Juice, and bananas cured me of my ailments, it might help her”
(What it cured you of was constipation, not cancer!)
10. And last but not least-“You really need to take care of yourself emotionally, spiritually, and physically so you can be there for your wife.” (Okay- you are right. Give me your ticket to Hawaii, Disneyworld, Italy, even Tahoe, and you stay here for 10 days and I will come back much healthier)

Thanks for this guys-venting helps.

David,
Thanks for your post!
David,
Thanks for your post! It is great! Hope you both do have a better day, now that you got all of this off your chest!
Tina

panks said:

You might be a caregiver if
you have learned how to sleep with one ear and one eye open..
you want to scream at the next person that remarks on the stupid weather..
you start making a game out of meals
you take the prescription 2 weeks before he needs it because you know they wont have it in stock.
you rub his hair gently while hes asleep and think lord how I love you and am going to miss you.

(For my loving husband Dale passed away on 3/19/2010. I would do all this again and so much more)

ANd also
You may be a caregiver if

you resent the kids breezing in and saying, "Dad looks great!"

you stifle a scream when they say, "Just think positive and stay strong."

people suggest you feed your loved one pureed asparagus to cure him (If it worked, the drs would be out of business.)

you find yourself arguing in whispers while your loved one is napping, trying to figure out why the credit card company passed the funeral prearrangement charges, but insist the gravestone is possible fraud. (A yacht, maybe. Trip to Europe, could be. Gravestone?!?!)

his son can't give the suppository because the gloves are too small for him, but they magically fit when he has to clean up the bed.

the oncologist's nurse can't refill the prescription for a longer time to save you money unless you make a new appointment. YOu both know he won't make it in, but you engage in the polite charade of setting a new day and time.

you go outside and it's sunny and blue and breezy and it feels like a foreign country.

panks said:

You might be a caregiver if
you have learned how to sleep with one ear and one eye open..
you want to scream at the next person that remarks on the stupid weather..
you start making a game out of meals
you take the prescription 2 weeks before he needs it because you know they wont have it in stock.
you rub his hair gently while hes asleep and think lord how I love you and am going to miss you.

(For my loving husband Dale passed away on 3/19/2010. I would do all this again and so much more)

ANd also
You may be a caregiver if

you resent the kids breezing in and saying, "Dad looks great!"

you stifle a scream when they say, "Just think positive and stay strong."

people suggest you feed your loved one pureed asparagus to cure him (If it worked, the drs would be out of business.)

you find yourself arguing in whispers while your loved one is napping, trying to figure out why the credit card company passed the funeral prearrangement charges, but insist the gravestone is possible fraud. (A yacht, maybe. Trip to Europe, could be. Gravestone?!?!)

his son can't give the suppository because the gloves are too small for him, but they magically fit when he has to clean up the bed.

the oncologist's nurse can't refill the prescription for a longer time to save you money unless you make a new appointment. YOu both know he won't make it in, but you engage in the polite charade of setting a new day and time.

you go outside and it's sunny and blue and breezy and it feels like a foreign country.

for a brief moment you find yourself looking longingly at his anti-anxiety med

panks said:

You might be a caregiver if
you have learned how to sleep with one ear and one eye open..
you want to scream at the next person that remarks on the stupid weather..
you start making a game out of meals
you take the prescription 2 weeks before he needs it because you know they wont have it in stock.
you rub his hair gently while hes asleep and think lord how I love you and am going to miss you.

(For my loving husband Dale passed away on 3/19/2010. I would do all this again and so much more)

My sympathies to you
Hi Panks,
I just read your post, and wanted to send you my heartfelt sympathies. I lost my dad to esophageal cancer on 3/9/10. I totally can relate to the rubbing of his hair. I brushed my dad's hair the afternoon of the evening he passed away, not knowing this would be the last time I ever would. I miss him daily, I cry weekly, but I know he is in a much better place. He and Dale will meet and spend eternity together. He always loved the name Dale, he was a huge Dale Ernhardt fan! Hugs to you.
Tina

...
You want to pummel the next person who says, "You are so STRONG. I would have crumbled a long time ago." (As if there's a choice.)

When someone else comes over to help and says, "Go out for a while and do something for yourself," you can't think of a single thing to do or a single person you want to see, nor do you have the energy, so you just sit around at home.

You are so sick of your own story that you're actually glad that when you call your oldest friend once every 6 months or so, she is so wrapped up in her own troubles that she doesn't even ask how you're loved one is.

You are so sick of your own story that you stop responding to phone messages and emails entirely.

Your 3-year-old tells you that adults don't cry and you realize that you've been too emotionally protective, so one day you do let yourself cry in front of him (just a little bit) and then he feels the need to tell everyone about it.

You feel like an alien in every social situation except for your caregiver support group. (If you're lucky enough to have one.)