You Might Be A Caregiver If.......

124

Comments

  • LilChemoSmoker
    LilChemoSmoker Member Posts: 185
    #62
    "care" "giver" what do these words really mean?
    I reserve my statements as untimely.

    Regards,
    Michelle
  • rocket baby
    rocket baby Member Posts: 22
    #63
    LilChemoSmoker said:

    "care" "giver" what do these words really mean?
    I reserve my statements as untimely.

    Regards,
    Michelle

    You might be a caregiver if....
    The first thing you say every day is how do you feel?

    You have become accustomed to clipping toenails and giving haircuts, and thankful that there is hair to cut.

    You get tired of people telling you that he looks great when you know he looks dreadful.

    You've learned to smile at people who offer their advice when they have absolutely no clue what life is like in your shoes.

    You get sick of hearing about people's petty problems, or people telling you how tired they are....ya right!

    You have people that tell you "I don't know how you do it" but they never offer to help.....
  • sis46
    sis46 Member Posts: 1
    #64
    rocket baby said:

    You might be a caregiver if....
    The first thing you say every day is how do you feel?

    You have become accustomed to clipping toenails and giving haircuts, and thankful that there is hair to cut.

    You get tired of people telling you that he looks great when you know he looks dreadful.

    You've learned to smile at people who offer their advice when they have absolutely no clue what life is like in your shoes.

    You get sick of hearing about people's petty problems, or people telling you how tired they are....ya right!

    You have people that tell you "I don't know how you do it" but they never offer to help.....

    Newbie
    Just starting this journey, but already I identified with much of what's already posted here.

    Thanks for the smile and letting me know I'm normal (whatever that is)
  • JackieA
    JackieA Member Posts: 150
    #65
    sis46 said:

    Newbie
    Just starting this journey, but already I identified with much of what's already posted here.

    Thanks for the smile and letting me know I'm normal (whatever that is)

    You might be a caregiver if...
    it's 80 degrees outside, but 90 in your house.

    you automatically grabbed the urinal at the same time everynight.

    You function on 5 hours of sleep a night.

    You can't wait to get the free coffee and snacks at the dr. office.

    You never get the last word! The patient is always right.

    Reading a book while using the restroom is R and R for you.

    No one asks how you are doing...you are really invisible.
  • soxgirl823
    soxgirl823 Member Posts: 8
    #66
    david54 said:

    Dave’s Top ten things he
    Dave’s Top ten things he gets tired of hearing as a caregiver

    1. From her friends, “She looks great! Are you sure she’s that sick?” (Nah-I’ve been making this crap up the past 2 and a half years just for the hell of it)
    2. From well meaning other friends, “I don’t know how I would handle life if I was in you’re situation” (Just what does that mean? Wow that makes me feel a hell of a lot better!))
    3. From well meaning acquaintances, “I prayed for both of you last night. God told me she will be healed.” (Want to sign your name to that?)
    4. From our beautiful daughter, “Hey dad, can you send me money for my books for next semester? By the way, how’s mom?” (Sure sweetheart, let me go out to the money tree and yank a few hundred off the branches)
    5. From my wife, “Can you buy me some Ensure at Wal-Mart, paper towels at Safeway, prune juice at Rite Aide, and Odwalla at the health food store?” (By the time I finish driving all over town did I really save money on those items?)
    6. From the hospital – the bill always come to our address in big bold letters so the mail man obviously knows we owe money “David _ _ _ _ you now owe $$$$$$ and we will do all we can to assist you with this financial obligation, have a nice day.” (Yea, you have a nice day too and I hope you have a hemorrhoid that flares up)
    7. From anybody who doesn’t know what else to say, “You still have a lot to be grateful for, just live for today.” (Sound words of advice, but until you’re in my situation, I don’t really want to hear that, particularly when you are leaving for Hawaii tomorrow – I hope you jet sucks up volcano dust, just enough so that you have to land in Houston for a week)
    8. From my wife while eating lasagna for dinner “My BM was brown last night!” (As opposed to grey when her liver is acting up – its just the timing of your comment that’s a little off sweetheart)
    9. Again from well meaning friends, family, acquaintances, not always in this order but generally a heretofore newly discover juicing regimen,” Grape juice, Acai, Blueberry Juice, and bananas cured me of my ailments, it might help her”
    (What it cured you of was constipation, not cancer!)
    10. And last but not least-“You really need to take care of yourself emotionally, spiritually, and physically so you can be there for your wife.” (Okay- you are right. Give me your ticket to Hawaii, Disneyworld, Italy, even Tahoe, and you stay here for 10 days and I will come back much healthier)

    Thanks for this guys-venting helps.

    Thank you!
    Well I can relate to most of them. I so appreciate that and it made me smile. It's not my wife but my mom who lives with me and from co-workers I have heard most of what you stated and i want to be like the comedian Bill Engvall"here's your sign" cause your spouting non sence. Especially #10 I(only child) care for my mom with cancer(age 70) and my 84 year old father who has become legally blind and a stroke. Wouldn't trade it for anything but really how do you care for yourself when you spend 23 hours out of the day caring for them.
  • Bobs1wife
    Bobs1wife Member Posts: 150
    #67
    You might be a caregiver if..................
    The "contacts" on your cell phone has more doctors numbers than friends and family.
  • Daisylin
    Daisylin Member Posts: 365
    #68
    Bobs1wife said:

    You might be a caregiver if..................
    The "contacts" on your cell phone has more doctors numbers than friends and family.

    ..... you can't count how
    ..... you can't count how many doctors they have, because you don't have enough fingers.

    ..... People offer to bring food, because hubby's not eating. (like it's my cooking that's making him starve to death)

    ....... you need to correct your doctor's about meds and treatments. You have said more than once that you know more about the cancer than they do.

    ...... you have a hospital bed and a queen size bed jammed into your once pretty bedroom. (along side the feeding tubes, syringes, and a night table full of sippy cups, PRN medications, kleenex and a barf bucket.)

    ...... you can rhyme off a list of 20 medications (and the times they need to be taken), some that are utterly unpronounceable, yet you can't remember the 2 items on your grocery list.

    ....... wish that you could be the one taking the needles, bloodwork, iv's and chemo so that your loved one does not have to go through yet another needle jab.

    ...... wonder if it's appropriate to buy your 49 year old husband baby food, in hopes that he'll eat it.

    ....... you are ok with your loved one eating ice cream as a meal, and even cheer for him as he does it.

    ....... you want to punch every person that tells you how strong, wonderful and great you are.

    ........you think how lovely it would be to take some of his narcotics.

    ........you see a friend or neighbour at the store, and you rush around to the next aisle so they won't see you.
  • Ginny_B
    Ginny_B Member Posts: 532
    #69
    Daisylin said:

    ..... you can't count how
    ..... you can't count how many doctors they have, because you don't have enough fingers.

    ..... People offer to bring food, because hubby's not eating. (like it's my cooking that's making him starve to death)

    ....... you need to correct your doctor's about meds and treatments. You have said more than once that you know more about the cancer than they do.

    ...... you have a hospital bed and a queen size bed jammed into your once pretty bedroom. (along side the feeding tubes, syringes, and a night table full of sippy cups, PRN medications, kleenex and a barf bucket.)

    ...... you can rhyme off a list of 20 medications (and the times they need to be taken), some that are utterly unpronounceable, yet you can't remember the 2 items on your grocery list.

    ....... wish that you could be the one taking the needles, bloodwork, iv's and chemo so that your loved one does not have to go through yet another needle jab.

    ...... wonder if it's appropriate to buy your 49 year old husband baby food, in hopes that he'll eat it.

    ....... you are ok with your loved one eating ice cream as a meal, and even cheer for him as he does it.

    ....... you want to punch every person that tells you how strong, wonderful and great you are.

    ........you think how lovely it would be to take some of his narcotics.

    ........you see a friend or neighbour at the store, and you rush around to the next aisle so they won't see you.

    Hugs, Chantal.

    Hugs, Chantal.
  • Ginny_B
    Ginny_B Member Posts: 532
    #70
    It really sucks when a new
    It really sucks when a new caregiver can relate to these things.
  • ketziah35
    ketziah35 Member Posts: 1,145
    #71
    bingles said:

    Jello is a major food
    Jello is a major food group...
    Their nap time is your nap time....
    You have the softest hands in town from all the lotions you applied..
    "how was your night" is the first words out of your mouth in the morning.

    ...And granola bars!

    ...And granola bars!
  • DrMary
    DrMary Member Posts: 531 Member
    #72
    You (and your kids) might be a caregiver if. . . .
    . . .You are eating dinner and someone starts to cough - you all automatically reach for a bowl, cup, or other container for the person to barf in.

    . . .You are eating dinner and someone starts to barf in a bowl, cup, or other container, and you continue eating, once you've made sure that it's "normal barfing" and not something new.

    . . .You are eating dinner and continue when someone barfs, and some kindly soul who is staying to "help" you looks horrified, and you say, "don't worry - it's only his second time today, so he's doing quite well."

    Thankfully, those are all in the past for us.
  • ldguerra
    ldguerra Member Posts: 41
    #73
    DrMary said:

    You (and your kids) might be a caregiver if. . . .
    . . .You are eating dinner and someone starts to cough - you all automatically reach for a bowl, cup, or other container for the person to barf in.

    . . .You are eating dinner and someone starts to barf in a bowl, cup, or other container, and you continue eating, once you've made sure that it's "normal barfing" and not something new.

    . . .You are eating dinner and continue when someone barfs, and some kindly soul who is staying to "help" you looks horrified, and you say, "don't worry - it's only his second time today, so he's doing quite well."

    Thankfully, those are all in the past for us.

    new
    Your a caregiver if you get up from the sofa set and walk into the kitchen and then turn around and say 'what the heck am I looking for?'
    your a caregiver if you go to the grocery store and remember the paper towels, protein shakes, favorite fruit juices, baby wipes and when you return home you noticed you didn't buy your coffee.
    your a caregiver if you know his clotting time and exactly how much vitamin K he uses per week and the cheapest pharmacy to get it at.
    your a caregiver if you know all side effects of all meds and instead of reading the active ingredient.
    your a caregiver is you can distinguish the generic brands from original brands just by the packaging
    your a caregiver if you wake up and wish that it was still dark out and that the pets would keep quite just for a few more hours lol, this is my every morning wish.
  • chemosmoker
    chemosmoker Member Posts: 501
    #74
    Daisylin said:

    ..... you can't count how
    ..... you can't count how many doctors they have, because you don't have enough fingers.

    ..... People offer to bring food, because hubby's not eating. (like it's my cooking that's making him starve to death)

    ....... you need to correct your doctor's about meds and treatments. You have said more than once that you know more about the cancer than they do.

    ...... you have a hospital bed and a queen size bed jammed into your once pretty bedroom. (along side the feeding tubes, syringes, and a night table full of sippy cups, PRN medications, kleenex and a barf bucket.)

    ...... you can rhyme off a list of 20 medications (and the times they need to be taken), some that are utterly unpronounceable, yet you can't remember the 2 items on your grocery list.

    ....... wish that you could be the one taking the needles, bloodwork, iv's and chemo so that your loved one does not have to go through yet another needle jab.

    ...... wonder if it's appropriate to buy your 49 year old husband baby food, in hopes that he'll eat it.

    ....... you are ok with your loved one eating ice cream as a meal, and even cheer for him as he does it.

    ....... you want to punch every person that tells you how strong, wonderful and great you are.

    ........you think how lovely it would be to take some of his narcotics.

    ........you see a friend or neighbour at the store, and you rush around to the next aisle so they won't see you.

    LOVE IT!!
    GREAT post Chantal. VERY honest and heartfelt!

    YOU keep those spirits up and don't hesitate to call me or Michelle. We are here for you. ALWAYS. 24/7. WE don't close!

    Love

    Eric and Michelle
  • emotionalpond
    emotionalpond Member Posts: 22
    #75
    ldguerra said:

    new
    Your a caregiver if you get up from the sofa set and walk into the kitchen and then turn around and say 'what the heck am I looking for?'
    your a caregiver if you go to the grocery store and remember the paper towels, protein shakes, favorite fruit juices, baby wipes and when you return home you noticed you didn't buy your coffee.
    your a caregiver if you know his clotting time and exactly how much vitamin K he uses per week and the cheapest pharmacy to get it at.
    your a caregiver if you know all side effects of all meds and instead of reading the active ingredient.
    your a caregiver is you can distinguish the generic brands from original brands just by the packaging
    your a caregiver if you wake up and wish that it was still dark out and that the pets would keep quite just for a few more hours lol, this is my every morning wish.

    You might be a caregiver
    If you get what everybody here is saying..........

    If you laugh and cry at the sametime when reading most of the post.


    :)

    Jenn
  • Ginny_B
    Ginny_B Member Posts: 532
    #76
    emotionalpond said:

    You might be a caregiver
    If you get what everybody here is saying..........

    If you laugh and cry at the sametime when reading most of the post.


    :)

    Jenn

    Amen, Jen!
    Amen, Jenn!
  • Mafster
    Mafster Member Posts: 2
    #77
    You Might Be A Caregiver If......
    You've become a total pro at recognizing what are meant as helpful "snake oil" cures and can resist the urge to say "It's cancer, not a head cold, take your precious Oregano Oil and put it in your spaghetti sauce!"

    You're fairly certain that Quinoa though it may (or may not) be a miracle food, isn't all that miraculous after all.

    Your friends and family suddenly become super duper crazy busy.

    The palliative care nurse tells you that you need to learn to ask for help. But see above.

    You truly live by the words "One day at a time".

    You learn that it can be the littlest, silliest things that help you make it through the day, and you learn to embrace that.


    (... Oregano Oil ... ARG...)
  • LeeandShirley
    LeeandShirley Member Posts: 122 Member
    #78
    You might be a caregiver if......
    Thank you AnnaLeigh. This is the best post yet! It made me laugh, because you might be a caregiver, IF, you can relate.
  • AnnaLeigh
    AnnaLeigh Member Posts: 187 Member
    #79
    You know you are a caregiver when.....
    You can't remember what it was that you did in life (that had any meaningful importance) before you started your life as a caregiver

    You have pillows, sheets, blankets, and linens in your house that no one else can use because they are designated "only for the loved one with cancer"

    There is a bathroom in your house that is off limits to everyone but the loved one with cancer ( better known as a "chemo" bathroom )

    It brings too much pain to even think about what you will do in life or what life will be like once the caregiving is over
  • mr steve
    mr steve Member Posts: 285
    #80
    AnnaLeigh said:

    You know you are a caregiver when.....
    You can't remember what it was that you did in life (that had any meaningful importance) before you started your life as a caregiver

    You have pillows, sheets, blankets, and linens in your house that no one else can use because they are designated "only for the loved one with cancer"

    There is a bathroom in your house that is off limits to everyone but the loved one with cancer ( better known as a "chemo" bathroom )

    It brings too much pain to even think about what you will do in life or what life will be like once the caregiving is over

    wow
    Is there life after care giving...

    Or you borrow sheets from the local hospital because they fit better on the hospital you have set up in the living room...
  • Petesgirl
    Petesgirl Member Posts: 3
    #81
    david54 said:

    Dave’s Top ten things he
    Dave’s Top ten things he gets tired of hearing as a caregiver

    1. From her friends, “She looks great! Are you sure she’s that sick?” (Nah-I’ve been making this crap up the past 2 and a half years just for the hell of it)
    2. From well meaning other friends, “I don’t know how I would handle life if I was in you’re situation” (Just what does that mean? Wow that makes me feel a hell of a lot better!))
    3. From well meaning acquaintances, “I prayed for both of you last night. God told me she will be healed.” (Want to sign your name to that?)
    4. From our beautiful daughter, “Hey dad, can you send me money for my books for next semester? By the way, how’s mom?” (Sure sweetheart, let me go out to the money tree and yank a few hundred off the branches)
    5. From my wife, “Can you buy me some Ensure at Wal-Mart, paper towels at Safeway, prune juice at Rite Aide, and Odwalla at the health food store?” (By the time I finish driving all over town did I really save money on those items?)
    6. From the hospital – the bill always come to our address in big bold letters so the mail man obviously knows we owe money “David _ _ _ _ you now owe $$$$$$ and we will do all we can to assist you with this financial obligation, have a nice day.” (Yea, you have a nice day too and I hope you have a hemorrhoid that flares up)
    7. From anybody who doesn’t know what else to say, “You still have a lot to be grateful for, just live for today.” (Sound words of advice, but until you’re in my situation, I don’t really want to hear that, particularly when you are leaving for Hawaii tomorrow – I hope you jet sucks up volcano dust, just enough so that you have to land in Houston for a week)
    8. From my wife while eating lasagna for dinner “My BM was brown last night!” (As opposed to grey when her liver is acting up – its just the timing of your comment that’s a little off sweetheart)
    9. Again from well meaning friends, family, acquaintances, not always in this order but generally a heretofore newly discover juicing regimen,” Grape juice, Acai, Blueberry Juice, and bananas cured me of my ailments, it might help her”
    (What it cured you of was constipation, not cancer!)
    10. And last but not least-“You really need to take care of yourself emotionally, spiritually, and physically so you can be there for your wife.” (Okay- you are right. Give me your ticket to Hawaii, Disneyworld, Italy, even Tahoe, and you stay here for 10 days and I will come back much healthier)

    Thanks for this guys-venting helps.

    caregiver
    How about the friends who say "just let me know if there is anything I can do to help", then when you suggest that they might be available to drive to a treatment, or any little thing, then it's" Oh, it is a pretty day out today , and I have to mow my yard, or work in my garden". All of those things that you would feel like you were on vacation if you had five minutes to do them.

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