You Might Be A Caregiver If.......

245

Comments

  • panks
    panks Member Posts: 36 Member

    My sympathies to you
    Hi Panks,
    I just read your post, and wanted to send you my heartfelt sympathies. I lost my dad to esophageal cancer on 3/9/10. I totally can relate to the rubbing of his hair. I brushed my dad's hair the afternoon of the evening he passed away, not knowing this would be the last time I ever would. I miss him daily, I cry weekly, but I know he is in a much better place. He and Dale will meet and spend eternity together. He always loved the name Dale, he was a huge Dale Ernhardt fan! Hugs to you.
    Tina

    Thank you Tina
    I still cry daily. But I really am trying to get my life together. I feel so selfish, because I would love just one more time to walk in the house and hear him say "I'm so glad your home I missed you today"I'm sure he has everyone in heaven laughing right now, he had such a sense of humor even to the end he asked my brother two days before he passed away if he was trying to bore him to death with a story he was telling.I truly believe there are no tears in heaven so I think they can only see the good things that will happen to us. God bless you with the strenght to carry on.

    Panks
  • AKAngel
    AKAngel Member Posts: 74 Member
    caribou said:

    ...
    You want to pummel the next person who says, "You are so STRONG. I would have crumbled a long time ago." (As if there's a choice.)

    When someone else comes over to help and says, "Go out for a while and do something for yourself," you can't think of a single thing to do or a single person you want to see, nor do you have the energy, so you just sit around at home.

    You are so sick of your own story that you're actually glad that when you call your oldest friend once every 6 months or so, she is so wrapped up in her own troubles that she doesn't even ask how you're loved one is.

    You are so sick of your own story that you stop responding to phone messages and emails entirely.

    Your 3-year-old tells you that adults don't cry and you realize that you've been too emotionally protective, so one day you do let yourself cry in front of him (just a little bit) and then he feels the need to tell everyone about it.

    You feel like an alien in every social situation except for your caregiver support group. (If you're lucky enough to have one.)

    Boy-howdy...
    Whew, can I relate to most of what you said! I barely contact any of the people I used to, because 1)don't have the energy & 2) have run out of other things to talk about but my mom!
    And though she is having hospice come visit once a week, it's IS hard to find something else to do...is it just worry about her or what I don't know. I guess it's hard to get out of the mind-set once you get in...that's where I'm really gonna need therapy! Or when my mom suggests I go out and do something fun for myself, and then an hour or so later, she's calling because she wants me back home...to just sit and do nothing while she falls back asleep!
    So glad we have each other here!!!
  • AnnaLeigh
    AnnaLeigh Member Posts: 187 Member
    AKAngel said:

    Boy-howdy...
    Whew, can I relate to most of what you said! I barely contact any of the people I used to, because 1)don't have the energy & 2) have run out of other things to talk about but my mom!
    And though she is having hospice come visit once a week, it's IS hard to find something else to do...is it just worry about her or what I don't know. I guess it's hard to get out of the mind-set once you get in...that's where I'm really gonna need therapy! Or when my mom suggests I go out and do something fun for myself, and then an hour or so later, she's calling because she wants me back home...to just sit and do nothing while she falls back asleep!
    So glad we have each other here!!!

    You Might Be A Caregiver If...
    You think taking the trash to the curb (or dumpster) is "getting out of the house".

    You look forward to some time off but would rather sleep than actually go anywhere.

    You sleep when they sleep.

    You are on a first name basis with all of the oncology nurses and staff.
  • jbed
    jbed Member Posts: 1
    AnnaLeigh said:

    You Might Be A Caregiver If...
    You think taking the trash to the curb (or dumpster) is "getting out of the house".

    You look forward to some time off but would rather sleep than actually go anywhere.

    You sleep when they sleep.

    You are on a first name basis with all of the oncology nurses and staff.

    You Might Be a Caregiver if...
    You actually look forward to going to work. Work is the only place you get peace.
  • AnnaLeigh
    AnnaLeigh Member Posts: 187 Member
    jbed said:

    You Might Be a Caregiver if...
    You actually look forward to going to work. Work is the only place you get peace.

    You Might Be A Caregiver If...
    If your garbage cans are marked - Regular, Recycling and Medical Waste

    If your insurance company is on speed-dial

    If you label medical professionals as - Very good, Good and Idiots. And you don't waste your time with anyone in that last category!
  • pattymel
    pattymel Member Posts: 18
    You might be a caregiver if:
    1. The pharmacist doesn't even ask your name and knows exactly why you are there.
    2. Once you get home with the medications you dole them out in a pill box to keep under your supervision so he doesn't take too much or too little.
    3. You can look at a dropped pill on the floor and know exactly what it is, even if it's a white one and three of his meds are white.
    4. When people tell you that you just need to have more faith (like that helps when you think of the future of Stage 4 and have two small children you will be left to raise by yourself).
    5. When people tell you how strong you are, which means you can do it by yourself.
    6. When you have to fight with every bureacracy involved with the treatment of your loved one to make sure nothing falls between the cracks.
    7. When you fill out the same paperwork time after time after time, after time,and no a copy is not good enough.
    8. The best news of the day involves the consistency and color of his poop.
    9. And the saddest is when you no longer feel like you have a spouse but another child to care for and miss the intimacies you had before and dreamed of having forever.
  • AnnaLeigh
    AnnaLeigh Member Posts: 187 Member
    pattymel said:

    You might be a caregiver if:
    1. The pharmacist doesn't even ask your name and knows exactly why you are there.
    2. Once you get home with the medications you dole them out in a pill box to keep under your supervision so he doesn't take too much or too little.
    3. You can look at a dropped pill on the floor and know exactly what it is, even if it's a white one and three of his meds are white.
    4. When people tell you that you just need to have more faith (like that helps when you think of the future of Stage 4 and have two small children you will be left to raise by yourself).
    5. When people tell you how strong you are, which means you can do it by yourself.
    6. When you have to fight with every bureacracy involved with the treatment of your loved one to make sure nothing falls between the cracks.
    7. When you fill out the same paperwork time after time after time, after time,and no a copy is not good enough.
    8. The best news of the day involves the consistency and color of his poop.
    9. And the saddest is when you no longer feel like you have a spouse but another child to care for and miss the intimacies you had before and dreamed of having forever.

    #3 is hilarious !!!!!!
    PattyMel -

    That happened to me just today! Small white capsule on the end table in the living room. Picked it up and immediately knew it was the neuropathy medicine.

    Of course, there are many other white pills in the daily meds, but I knew !!!!!!!!

    LOL

    AnnaLeigh
  • AnnaLeigh
    AnnaLeigh Member Posts: 187 Member
    pattymel said:

    You might be a caregiver if:
    1. The pharmacist doesn't even ask your name and knows exactly why you are there.
    2. Once you get home with the medications you dole them out in a pill box to keep under your supervision so he doesn't take too much or too little.
    3. You can look at a dropped pill on the floor and know exactly what it is, even if it's a white one and three of his meds are white.
    4. When people tell you that you just need to have more faith (like that helps when you think of the future of Stage 4 and have two small children you will be left to raise by yourself).
    5. When people tell you how strong you are, which means you can do it by yourself.
    6. When you have to fight with every bureacracy involved with the treatment of your loved one to make sure nothing falls between the cracks.
    7. When you fill out the same paperwork time after time after time, after time,and no a copy is not good enough.
    8. The best news of the day involves the consistency and color of his poop.
    9. And the saddest is when you no longer feel like you have a spouse but another child to care for and miss the intimacies you had before and dreamed of having forever.

    You Might Be A Caregiver If...
    You commonly use the abbreviations for -

    Diagnosis = Dx
    History = Hx
    Prescription/Recipe = Rx
    Symptoms = Sx
    Treatment = Tx

    And you have never been to medical or nursing school.
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
    Please add -
    Well I'm at work but thought of this one, gosh the guy meant well, he really is a very generous person, blah blah blah, but, I know his history and he is married and never without a girlfriend, FB, FWB or whatever:

    "So how you set for companionship"

    Lets see, after working all day, coming home and getting dinner, cleaning up after dinner, throwing in the laundry, emptying the dryer, stopping for errands, groceries and the like, cleaning up the bathroom (again), run the dishwasher, being told I forgot something, and the list goes on and on, but what the heck, sure, I'll meet you in room 334, nothing else to do!


    Have a good one - Tina
  • pattymel
    pattymel Member Posts: 18
    caribou said:

    ...
    You want to pummel the next person who says, "You are so STRONG. I would have crumbled a long time ago." (As if there's a choice.)

    When someone else comes over to help and says, "Go out for a while and do something for yourself," you can't think of a single thing to do or a single person you want to see, nor do you have the energy, so you just sit around at home.

    You are so sick of your own story that you're actually glad that when you call your oldest friend once every 6 months or so, she is so wrapped up in her own troubles that she doesn't even ask how you're loved one is.

    You are so sick of your own story that you stop responding to phone messages and emails entirely.

    Your 3-year-old tells you that adults don't cry and you realize that you've been too emotionally protective, so one day you do let yourself cry in front of him (just a little bit) and then he feels the need to tell everyone about it.

    You feel like an alien in every social situation except for your caregiver support group. (If you're lucky enough to have one.)

    .....
    1. You really need to do something for yourself, last I checked there were still only 24 hours in a day.
    2. Are you sleeping ok? What I haven't slept well since this started. It's like watching a newborn to make sure it's still breathing.
    3. My vacations are on the weekend when the 2-year-old is napping and the 11-year-old can call if dad needs me for something while i sit in a vacant parking lot and sob my heart out so i can try to keep it together for a few more days.
    4. I so get the alien comment, and I especially like it when people want all the details and then say I'm so sorry I didnt mean to upset you.

    Thanks everyone for making me laugh.
  • AnnaLeigh
    AnnaLeigh Member Posts: 187 Member
    You know you are a caregiver when.....
    Instead of waking up to an alarm clock - you wake up to the sound of pill bottles rattling.

    The drive-thru at the drug store recognizes your car by sight and has the medications ready for you without any questions.
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    AnnaLeigh said:

    You know you are a caregiver when.....
    Instead of waking up to an alarm clock - you wake up to the sound of pill bottles rattling.

    The drive-thru at the drug store recognizes your car by sight and has the medications ready for you without any questions.

    AnnaLeigh,
    You are so funny

    AnnaLeigh,
    You are so funny and hit the nail on the head 100 %!! Thanks for making me smile and laugh. My dad passed away this march, but I will always remember knowing all of the numbers to the hospital, I had them on my contact list in my cell phone. I even had my dad's ongologists cell phone # and his home phone #. And, I did use them several times! I can also relate to the pill box and knowing what each and every pill was, by shape, size, and color! These are some of the things that I like to remember because they bring a smile to my face. I just remembered that I also had the # to my dad's hospital room and the # to the lounge area phone in my cell phone! Hey....it helped tremendously, I had to keep track of him and everything and everyone around him. Have a blessed day!
    Tina #2
  • panks
    panks Member Posts: 36 Member

    AnnaLeigh,
    You are so funny

    AnnaLeigh,
    You are so funny and hit the nail on the head 100 %!! Thanks for making me smile and laugh. My dad passed away this march, but I will always remember knowing all of the numbers to the hospital, I had them on my contact list in my cell phone. I even had my dad's ongologists cell phone # and his home phone #. And, I did use them several times! I can also relate to the pill box and knowing what each and every pill was, by shape, size, and color! These are some of the things that I like to remember because they bring a smile to my face. I just remembered that I also had the # to my dad's hospital room and the # to the lounge area phone in my cell phone! Hey....it helped tremendously, I had to keep track of him and everything and everyone around him. Have a blessed day!
    Tina #2

    you might wish you were a caregiver
    If you cant sleep at night because he is not beside you.
    You actually miss your pharmacist
    you hear every little noise in the quiet house..

    God bless you caregivers and please remember to enjoy all the moments you have with your loved ones no matter how hard they seem to be.
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
    Caregiver
    You might be a caregiver if you know that "5FU" is not a dirty word!

    You might be a caregiver if you get the garbage right: Yard Waste, Regular and Medical Waste.

    You might be a caregiver if you know exactly what to do when the pump with the "5FU" Beeps and you don't panic.

    Thats all I got, thanks for the great post.

    Tina
  • appleyellowgreen
    appleyellowgreen Member Posts: 38 Member
    You might be a caregiver if...
    You overhear two men talking baseball and forget that the Mets are the baseball team you root for and not the bad news you were expecting.
  • arkansasbrains
    arkansasbrains Member Posts: 38

    You might be a caregiver if...
    You overhear two men talking baseball and forget that the Mets are the baseball team you root for and not the bad news you were expecting.

    you might be a caregiver if...
    . someone asks for your birthday/ssn, and you say your husband's.
    . you helped him brush is teeth and didn't do yours.
    . 130 lbs at 6'4" makes your day!

    i love this post. it helps.
  • AnnaLeigh
    AnnaLeigh Member Posts: 187 Member
    You Might Be A Caregiver If...
    You know which restaurants and stores in town are really handicap accessible and which ones are not.

    You envy the care recipients electric scooter because it has a longer battery life and moves faster than you do.
  • tmc576
    tmc576 Member Posts: 60 Member
    You might be a caregiver if...
    you wanted to be a nurse, you think you could skip nursing school based on "on the job training."

    If your answer to the next person who tells you that you really need to take time for yourself is...."and you really need to find a way to add 4 or 5 hrs to each day, thanks"
  • AnnaLeigh
    AnnaLeigh Member Posts: 187 Member
    Your definitions change
    When "getting a little action" means you don't need to give them any fiber supplements today.
  • miccmill
    miccmill Member Posts: 248
    AnnaLeigh said:

    Your definitions change
    When "getting a little action" means you don't need to give them any fiber supplements today.

    Thank you
    I'm just entering the world of caregiver and I found this thread.

    I laughed and cried. I'm scared but not as much anymore after hearing your experiences.

    You've made it sound so much more human than my fears have made it out to be.

    Thank you.