giving up?

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  • sea60
    sea60 Member Posts: 2,613
    #42
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    Hiedi & Meena
    I read the book by Lance Armstrong right in the middle of treatment and in reading his experiences, gave me hope. It had spread throughout his body and look at him now!

    Also I read Fran Dresher (Cancer Shmancer). She starred in "The Nanny". Reading that book helped as well. She too, is doing great!

    Praying you both feel strengthened,

    Sylvia
  • mariam_11_09
    mariam_11_09 Member Posts: 691
    #43
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    Hang in there gal! Some

    Hang in there gal! Some days are good and some days are just miserable!! And these days admittedly can run into weeks.

    I had a hard time on AC as well. After the first infusion, I was so nauseaus and wretching all afternoon and evening. I vaguely remember saying to several friends who had called, that I was never going to do AC again. I also remember posting on this board because I was horrified by how sick I was the week after that chemo and someone reminded that I had one less AC to do. That helped me switch my focus instead and just keep going.

    It is absolutely fine to feel like you want to just pack it all in however that is just a feeling and you do have the strength and courage to this!
  • mwallace1325
    mwallace1325 Member Posts: 806
    #44
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    cahjah75 said:

    No tears until
    I read Heidi's and Marge's posts): I have been taking everything in and haven't shed one tear since being dx with bc 2 months ago.(I went through my depression after breaking both shoulders and getting a bone infection 3 years ago! A PA came into my hospital room and I broke down in tears!) I haven't started chemo yet but after reading your posts the desolute feelings started flooding back. Feeling helpless is awful! I can just see myself reaching that breaking point. I wish you the strength to get through this. Celebrate how far you've come. Hopefully there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Sending {{hugs}}.
    Char

    Char didn't mean to make you cry
    I didn't mean to make you cry -- unless you just needed a good cry. There is light at the end of the tunnel for all of us. I think one of the best things about this site is that everyone here is at a different point in their survival and seeing those farther ahead helps keep us going.

    marge
  • mwallace1325
    mwallace1325 Member Posts: 806
    #45
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    meena1 said:

    i feel like giving up also,
    i feel like giving up also, there is just no end in sight for me

    Meena and Heidi
    We love you and you can't give up. We all need each other to win the fight cause together we're way stronger than we are individually.
    We'll all hold you up as you previously help us up.

    marge
  • ppurdin
    ppurdin Member Posts: 1,181
    #46
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    Please don,t give up.
    I know how aggravating this all can be,But it is doable.Sounds like you need a few days rest,And do something you enjoy for a few days.You don,t want to let Cancer win.My Prayers are with you. PPurdin.
  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    #47
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    CypressCynthia said:

    I am so sorry
    I am so sorry for everything that you are going through. I hate, hate this breast cancer beast and I hate what you are suffering. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

    I am sorry too that cancer
    I am sorry too that cancer has you feeling this way. It is understandable. It is hard work to get through all of the doctor appointments, surgery's and all of the other treatments. But, please keep trying!

    If you need to vent, come on here and do it. That is why we are here, to help you!
  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    #48
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    meena1 said:

    i feel like giving up also,
    i feel like giving up also, there is just no end in sight for me

    We will not accept your
    We will not accept your giving up Meena! Keep fighting!

    Praying for you!
  • MNLynn
    MNLynn Member Posts: 224
    #49
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    Betsy13 said:

    giving up...
    yep, I am right there with you. I haven't even been at it anywhere near as long as you. I am ready to give up. Finished with radiation on 5/28 and still having shortness of breath. Having a CT scan on Friday to see if it hurt my lungs. I CAN'T take this anymore. It seems all I do is sit and cry. I am angry, frustrated, and depressed. I feel like I am just sitting here and life is going on without me. I have summers off because I'm a teacher and I can't do anything. Glad you had the courage to speak up...

    Betsy,
    Please let us know what you find out from your CT scan. Where are you in your treatments - did you have surgery before the rads, or is that something they are doing after the rads? I had 27 radiation treatments to my chest, underarm area, and up higher - by my clavicle, I guess - to hit the lymph nodes that are up there. My rads were done after a mastectomy. They were able to aim the radiation so that it hit just a small area of my lung, I was told. I'm not having any shortness of breath, but that area is sore - and maybe some of that is even still from the surgery. I hope that you will have positive results from your CT scan and that you will feel better soon.

    With thoughts & prayers,

    ♥ Lynn ♥
  • Shadow904
    Shadow904 Member Posts: 3
    #50
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    meena1 said:

    i feel like giving up also,
    i feel like giving up also, there is just no end in sight for me

    Heidi and Meena,
    No, no, no!
    Heidi and Meena,

    No, no, no! You ladies are not giving up! I didn't. You must fight the battle! I know it's tough. I've been through, AC, radiation, surgeries, and all at Stage 3C! I fought, kept the faith, and was very determined. You must psych yourself to no end, and tell that body and mind of yours that you will win, this disease will not destroy you, you will destroy it! If you fall behind, it will beat you! I know it's so difficult; but you have to do it. Keep the Faith!!
  • Menda
    Menda Member Posts: 128
    #51
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    ppurdin said:

    Please don,t give up.
    I know how aggravating this all can be,But it is doable.Sounds like you need a few days rest,And do something you enjoy for a few days.You don,t want to let Cancer win.My Prayers are with you. PPurdin.

    You do not give up!
    It is 4:30 in the morning. I cannot sleep, my boob is twitching and it hurts. Doing laundry, what else do you do without waking others up? Been reading posts. Yes, this crap will knock you in the dirt, pick you up and knock you back down again. But, you lay in the dirt, cry, eat tons of chocolate, pick yourself up , dust yourself off and start swinging. Life is not a picnic , life is what you make it. Take a break, recharge and come back and start swinging !!!!
  • smalldoggroomer
    smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
    #52
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    This really breaks my heart.
    Please don't give up. You are one of our team of warriors. We need you here. If you need to be carried for awhile we will carry you. But please don't leave us. You are stronger then you think. If this was one of us what would you say to us? Come on lets take one hour or minute at a time if you need to. It will get better. Every day that passed is a day closer to the end of treatment. I know it is a long time but it can be done. We are all doing it with you. You have to do it for us to. Will you please try??
    I don't want to say goodbye. All my prayers and thoughts are with you. Please let us know how you feel today.
    Your sister Kay,
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #53
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    Marcia527 said:

    plan a vacation
    Some others have said what got them thru is a special vacation after treatment is over. That way you've got the vacation to look forward to and you can spend time planning it while in treatment. Hang in there!

    Even just a special day....
    That's what I did...went to a spa that was familiar....that way, during treatments, I could visualize each and every thing I would be doing!!!

    It got me thru the total small bowel obstruction that followed the lumpectomy by 2 weeks, I can tell you quite honestly...and the NG tube (EEEEEK!) that came with it!!!

    Hang in there, dearheart...I know what you are saying...breast cancer was my second within the year...rectal cancer made me so weary!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • Pinkpower
    Pinkpower Member Posts: 437
    #54
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    Heidijez & Meena
    As you can see by all the wonderful sisters here. Its normal to feel the way you do once maybe even twice during your battle. Say it outloud, it does some how make you feel better, like you have some kind of control, but dont go thru with quitting. My lowest moment was right after radiation, I had already gone thru surgery, chemo and right after radiation ws done, thats when I felt sooo tired of being tired, and the fact that I had just started Tamoxifen and I have to be on this pill for 5 years. That was just too much for me to bare. Its been a few weeks since and I feel so much better about it all. Take it day by day and remember, when you have a bad day, tomorrow will be better. Hugs & Kisses
    Lupe
  • MNLynn
    MNLynn Member Posts: 224
    #55
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    smalldoggroomer said:

    This really breaks my heart.
    Please don't give up. You are one of our team of warriors. We need you here. If you need to be carried for awhile we will carry you. But please don't leave us. You are stronger then you think. If this was one of us what would you say to us? Come on lets take one hour or minute at a time if you need to. It will get better. Every day that passed is a day closer to the end of treatment. I know it is a long time but it can be done. We are all doing it with you. You have to do it for us to. Will you please try??
    I don't want to say goodbye. All my prayers and thoughts are with you. Please let us know how you feel today.
    Your sister Kay,

    What Kay said . . .
    to you, Heidi, Meena, Betsy . . . "If you need to be carried for awhile we will carry you."

    And to anyone else on this board who feels that way . . . we are here for each other . . . you have been here for me when I needed support . . . and whenever you need that support, you have it from me and all the other sisters.

    With many thoughts & prayers,

    ♥ Lynn ♥
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #56
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    Angry? Weary? Tired? You bet!!!!!
    This darn stuff CHANGED MY LIFE!!!!!! And, it could very well try again!!!!!

    I look at people when I travel that are happy, and smiling, and doing everything they want, when they want, without a second thought to their body...(will I be able to lift this with my 'special' arm?, will my scar show?, will they have a non-dairy something for me to eat?, Will today be a 'bad bowel day'?).

    Then, I think, well, yeah it was hell going thru the fight, both cancers, but I'm able to feel the breeze on my cheeks, and the sun on my shoulders...and the rain softly falling on my face. The problem with stopping is that it is not a good place to stop...to quote Winston Churchill "When you are going thru hell, don't stop!".

    So, take a moment to gather yourself, dear soul. Realize we have all done it, as hard as it was. So we have much sympathy for you. We all get weary, but realize that it's the fight of our lives...and so we have no choice but to go on...we have too much left to do!!!

    Hugs to all of you fighting the fight...all I can say is it DOES have it's moments of happy, too!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #57
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    KathiM said:

    Angry? Weary? Tired? You bet!!!!!
    This darn stuff CHANGED MY LIFE!!!!!! And, it could very well try again!!!!!

    I look at people when I travel that are happy, and smiling, and doing everything they want, when they want, without a second thought to their body...(will I be able to lift this with my 'special' arm?, will my scar show?, will they have a non-dairy something for me to eat?, Will today be a 'bad bowel day'?).

    Then, I think, well, yeah it was hell going thru the fight, both cancers, but I'm able to feel the breeze on my cheeks, and the sun on my shoulders...and the rain softly falling on my face. The problem with stopping is that it is not a good place to stop...to quote Winston Churchill "When you are going thru hell, don't stop!".

    So, take a moment to gather yourself, dear soul. Realize we have all done it, as hard as it was. So we have much sympathy for you. We all get weary, but realize that it's the fight of our lives...and so we have no choice but to go on...we have too much left to do!!!

    Hugs to all of you fighting the fight...all I can say is it DOES have it's moments of happy, too!

    Hugs, Kathi

    How are you doing today
    How are you doing today Heidi?

    Praying that after you read all of these posts that you will be feeling better and that it gives you the courage and strength you need to continue!


    Sue :)
  • ms.sunshine
    ms.sunshine Member Posts: 707 Member
    #58
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    Ritzy said:

    How are you doing today
    How are you doing today Heidi?

    Praying that after you read all of these posts that you will be feeling better and that it gives you the courage and strength you need to continue!


    Sue :)

    Quitting is not an option
    What will happen if you quit? much worse. I know how you feel. There were times I ask God to either heal me or take me because no human being should have to endure what I was going thru. I was(am) convinced I was close to death at one time. I kept thinking I can't give up then I will teach my 8 year old son to be a quitter, and I can't do that I have to lead by example.
    Sometimes anger can work to our advantage. Fight the very thing that wants to take your life and win. Think I may be very sick but that thing is dying, is dead, and I will be the victor!!
    Come here to get your encouragement boost to carry on.
    Jennifer
  • smalldoggroomer
    smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
    #59
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    Ladies
    Please post something so we know you are OK. We are all over this country cheering you on. come on join us here let us know how you are doing. We all love you and we are with you all the way. Your sister Kay,
  • heidijez
    heidijez Member Posts: 441
    #60
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    smalldoggroomer said:

    Ladies
    Please post something so we know you are OK. We are all over this country cheering you on. come on join us here let us know how you are doing. We all love you and we are with you all the way. Your sister Kay,

    when it rains it pours
    yesterday morning on my way to work a deer ran into my car! just what i didn't need! i have no money and now i have to have the car fixed so i can get to and from work. $500 deductible on insurance, so that will have to come from i don't know where.

    i know i can't give up, but it's getting harder to keep going. trust me, i am a totally pollyana person, this is not me. the drugs are messing with me big time.

    thank you for all the love and support it means more than you know.
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #61
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    heidijez said:

    when it rains it pours
    yesterday morning on my way to work a deer ran into my car! just what i didn't need! i have no money and now i have to have the car fixed so i can get to and from work. $500 deductible on insurance, so that will have to come from i don't know where.

    i know i can't give up, but it's getting harder to keep going. trust me, i am a totally pollyana person, this is not me. the drugs are messing with me big time.

    thank you for all the love and support it means more than you know.

    Heidi .. no injuries to you from this car accident
    with the deer ? You okay ?

    True me - we all know that scerino of 'when it rains' it pours, and pours. I am keeping you and meena 1 in positive thoughts and prayers ..

    Don't give up or give in is my MOTTO. Cuz if you do, there is no going back .. and who wants to go back and start all over ??? I certainly do not.



    Vicki Sam

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