Is anyone still scared?

lanie940

SuzG said:

Scared
I don't think the fear ever totally goes away. I think the farther you are away from treatments, the easier it is to tuck in the back of your mind and get back to some sort of "normalcy". I like to say I found a new "normal". But I do find it pops up for different reasons, especially for upcoming scans. I try to stay focused on my three kids to keep me from getting to deep into the fear.

My husband gets upset with
My husband gets upset with me when I talk about my cancer. He popped off at me yesterday because I brought up to my Medical Oncologist what some of you gals have been going through in here, he said "You have to stop this, I'm tired of hearing these things" Just listen to your Dr, not those other woman. I was really internally pi&&ed at him for a bit, then i know he's been complaining about his knee, he probably has arthritis in it, and I'm sure it hurts, men aren't good with pain. Plus, he's had to take off time from work to take me to appointments, and now my surgery in 2 weeks. I told him, just get me settled in if it's a morning surgery and go to work for Pete's sake! I'll be too groggy to talk to him anyway when I come to, afterwards. ARRGH.

I told him hopefully, I can handle going to my RADs by myself.

outdoorgirl

lanie940 said:

My husband gets upset with
My husband gets upset with me when I talk about my cancer. He popped off at me yesterday because I brought up to my Medical Oncologist what some of you gals have been going through in here, he said "You have to stop this, I'm tired of hearing these things" Just listen to your Dr, not those other woman. I was really internally pi&&ed at him for a bit, then i know he's been complaining about his knee, he probably has arthritis in it, and I'm sure it hurts, men aren't good with pain. Plus, he's had to take off time from work to take me to appointments, and now my surgery in 2 weeks. I told him, just get me settled in if it's a morning surgery and go to work for Pete's sake! I'll be too groggy to talk to him anyway when I come to, afterwards. ARRGH.

I told him hopefully, I can handle going to my RADs by myself.

lanie
my husband gets upset when I talk about cancer related things as well sometimes-I think sometimes he feels like I let it consume me. But he is as concerned about recurrence as I am,maybe more so! Every once in a while he will hear about something cancer related where he works-and if it's legit,he tells me about it when he gets home.Maybe your husband is afraid as well-so doesn't want to talk about it,I don't know...If I were you,I would have been pissed too!Yes,you need to listen to your doctor,but we have all been there or are doing that and perhaps your doctor has not!
And I know it takes a lot out of our hubbies to take us to appointments and such(mine took me to my chemo treatments and had to do half days at work to do so),but you would think that would be something that your husband would want to do!

Kristin N

Kylez said:

Hi Susie! Yes, I am feeling
Hi Susie! Yes, I am feeling better. I am sure that it will just take some time for me to really get away from the fear. I just finished rads and am considering tamoxifen. I kind of doubt that I will take it though. Too afraid of the side effects.

So many on here have been so kind to me in PM and in this thread that I hope you all know how very special and wonderful that you are!

Kylez ♥

Kylez, I am happy to read
Kylez, I am happy to read that you feel somewhat better. The fear is in all of us, we just have to not let it take over our lives. Live your life to the fullest!

Kristin ♥

ColoradoGal

inkblot said:

My thoughts on fears may
My thoughts on fears may seem a bit contradictory to the majority who have posted on this topic. But then I am probably a longer term survivor than most of those who have said that they still have fears. And make no mistake, I wholly agree that the passage of time can help lessen them.

I am an 8 year "thriver" and I no longer have fears. That first 6-12 months, post treatment, I had many, but along the way in my emotional healing process, I decided that I did not want to give any energy to fears about the "what ifs". And I had plenty of those playing all over my emotions back then. In reality, the "what if's" are really all the fear is...until we KNOW something differently. We could sit round and think up scenario's for days on end if we let it take us there. For me, even a few hours is a few hours too many to spend in fear about cancer.

Fear is certainly a big part of our lives once we are dx'd and for most of us, through out treatment as well. Even for some time beyond treatment, it can linger, nag and play games with our emotions. And why not? There is plenty to be afraid about, once we are dx'd!!! The best medical treatments we have today are almost savage, at best. Some refer those treatments as the slice/dice, poison and burn approach. But by any name, it's all we have. So we buck up and get through, if we do happen to choose the medical treatment approach. That, dear sisters, requires courage and a lot of bravery. It also requires faith that the treatments will work for us. Trust, that the treatments won't finish us off, while trying to cure us. Hope that we will not suffer debilitating side effects and that we will survive and be ok once again. Fear of the unknown is a big factor when we are dx'd too...like how sick will we be during treatments, etc.. I have not heard of one soul who took a cancer journey without the companionship of fears, whether they chose alternative, complementary or traditional treatment(s)! Not one.

If my cancer returns, if I get a new cancer...well, I will deal with it at that time and I will be the first to know...if you don't count the person in pathology who actually does the testing, and my doctor, who would again, deliver the news that would totally upset my apple cart of life.

Yes, we need to be vigilant (but not hyer-vigilant), we need to listen to and take excellent care of our bodies. Be kind to ourselves and live our lives fully. Not spend time bound up in fears. And it's true, we know better than anyone (who hasn't been there), what it's like. We know the miseries of surgery, chemo, rads, reconstruction and the energy required to get educated quickly and make our treatment decisions. We understand the tears in the wee hours. The physical pains and the emotional turmoil. Looking at our loved ones and crying inside, so they don't see how afraid we are that we may leave them. We were forced to look our mortality straight in the eye balls and our only choice was to continue to stand and fight. Fight yet, with weapons that terrified us almost as much as the disease itself. All the fears that overwhelmed us during those early days of dx and treatment. We know them well. The anxiety, the depression, the anger, all accompanied by more fears. We coped with a lot. But we also learned a lot. We came through wiser and learned many valuable things. There are silver linings in some of the darkest clouds that ever existed. We are proof of that. Even if I live to be 90, I will give fears about cancer NO energy. Not before I have any reason to do so. And the fact that I had it once is not a good enough reason for me.

I fully accept that a certain percentage of us will experience a recurrence or a new cancer at some point in our lives and we may or may not survive a 2nd or 3rd time round. But we're just as likely to survive and thrive, yet again. I believe that to be the facts. We cannot know these things in advance. Why worry about it in advance? I have no crystal ball (and I don't think anyone else has one...not the docs, not the scientists and not the people who compile so many "statistics"). All I can really do is take the positives I gained from cancer forward with me and leave the negatives behind, right where they belong, as part of my history. When we heal, emotionally, I think the fears begin to subside but sometimes it can take a lot of mental/emotional work to put them where they belong and get to where we want to be. Fearing cancer rearing it's ugly head again, will NOT get it dx'd any sooner or get me into treatment modalities any quicker. There is no magic test to reveal cancer when it first begins and truthfully, until we have symptoms or something develops which can be detected by our doctors or ourselves, (evidence)then those are the facts. I accept those facts and spare myself the worry and the stress of unnecessary fears. I keep my appointments. For me, those appointments confirm that I continue to have NED. Cancer can be sneaky, yes. Another fact we accept. But we probably all remember that we didn't see it coming the first time either and we didn't get stressed at our mammo's or other tests, pre cancer...at least I didn't. I never gave cancer much thought, although I knew perfectly well why I was having a mammo or PAP for all those pre-bc years. When I have my annual mammo's and annual gyn visits, annual onc visits, etc., I don't stress. I show up and have it done, just as I always have. I don't anticipate or expect any issues. If something scary pops up, well, I'll save my energy for when and if it does. In the meantime, I've a life to live and overt worries about cancer are not part of it. Cancer takes what it takes from us while we're battling it and that's all it's entitled to, in my opinion. It need not haunt us for the long term. Peace can be ours. If we can get to reconciling the terrifying emotional blow of our cancer experience, and eventually let it go, then we can find the kind of peace within our spirits which roots out fear and exposes it for what it is. It's each of our lives...we must live them, love them, care for them and work to make them what we want them to be. If that means changes in thinking, attitude,thoughts and/or feelings, and some hard looks at our reasoning...well, the sooner we get to work on it, and begin to make adjustments, the better. Don't let those fears begin to grow moss.

Love, light & laughter,
Ink

I'm printing your letter to read as a reality check
You express a certain confidence and control over this disease that I am hopefull, with time I can also attain. However, all of these emotions are new and I am still processing them. I was just DX'd in July of 09, had a mastectomy a few weeks after and have chosen (in agreement with my oncologist), not to do chemo. I start Tamoxifen on Monday. I'm just so sick of all this cancer ($#@. I don't want to spend my days in a fog of worry, doubt and fear. I know I can come out of this. I am, inspite of everything, a highly hopeful person. But at the moment, the feelings are so new, so raw, that they catch me off guard and can send me into a tailspin very easily. I don't need anymore fear based feedback, I don't want to know how bad it can be. I want some hope, some clarity, some positivity, from an articulate, rational, long time survivor such as yourself. Thank you for this immensely helpful and encouraging prospective. I will keep your letter close, and on those days when the grief and doubt start to overtake me, your words will be the lifeline, the inspiration that I will reach for to pull myself out into the light.

ColoradoGal

outdoorgirl said:

lanie
my husband gets upset when I talk about cancer related things as well sometimes-I think sometimes he feels like I let it consume me. But he is as concerned about recurrence as I am,maybe more so! Every once in a while he will hear about something cancer related where he works-and if it's legit,he tells me about it when he gets home.Maybe your husband is afraid as well-so doesn't want to talk about it,I don't know...If I were you,I would have been pissed too!Yes,you need to listen to your doctor,but we have all been there or are doing that and perhaps your doctor has not!
And I know it takes a lot out of our hubbies to take us to appointments and such(mine took me to my chemo treatments and had to do half days at work to do so),but you would think that would be something that your husband would want to do!

Dear Lanie
I found that once my loved ones saw that I was getting better, physically, they were very anxious to move on and not talk about cancer related topics anymore. Meanwhile I am still scouring the internet researching, looking for signs of hope and dealing with the various issues that we all discuss on this site. Maybe its like OutdoorGirl said - they are afraid to bring it up anymore. Or maybe they just want to move on and get back to a normal life again. Meanwhile, we are still facing months and/or years of treatment and perhaps delayed emotional response to the trauma that we just went through, or about to go through (surgery, chemo, etc). Long after everyone else has gone back to their lives, we're still left holding the bag of emotions, responsibility for our health/treatment, as well as the process of moving forward in a hopeful, mostly fearless manner. Thank goodness for this site and the ability to read, share and encourage one another.

ColoradoGal

outdoorgirl said:

lanie
my husband gets upset when I talk about cancer related things as well sometimes-I think sometimes he feels like I let it consume me. But he is as concerned about recurrence as I am,maybe more so! Every once in a while he will hear about something cancer related where he works-and if it's legit,he tells me about it when he gets home.Maybe your husband is afraid as well-so doesn't want to talk about it,I don't know...If I were you,I would have been pissed too!Yes,you need to listen to your doctor,but we have all been there or are doing that and perhaps your doctor has not!
And I know it takes a lot out of our hubbies to take us to appointments and such(mine took me to my chemo treatments and had to do half days at work to do so),but you would think that would be something that your husband would want to do!

Dear Lanie
I found that once my loved ones saw that I was getting better, physically, they were very anxious to move on and not talk about cancer related topics anymore. Meanwhile I am still scouring the internet researching, looking for signs of hope and dealing with the various issues that we all discuss on this site. Maybe its like OutdoorGirl said - they are afraid to bring it up anymore. Or maybe they just want to move on and get back to a normal life again. Meanwhile, we are still facing months and/or years of treatment and perhaps delayed emotional response to the trauma that we just went through, or about to go through (surgery, chemo, etc). Long after everyone else has gone back to their lives, we're still left holding the bag of emotions, responsibility for our health/treatment, as well as the process of moving forward in a hopeful, mostly fearless manner. Thank goodness for this site and the ability to read, share and encourage one another.

outdoorgirl

inkblot said:

My thoughts on fears may
My thoughts on fears may seem a bit contradictory to the majority who have posted on this topic. But then I am probably a longer term survivor than most of those who have said that they still have fears. And make no mistake, I wholly agree that the passage of time can help lessen them.

I am an 8 year "thriver" and I no longer have fears. That first 6-12 months, post treatment, I had many, but along the way in my emotional healing process, I decided that I did not want to give any energy to fears about the "what ifs". And I had plenty of those playing all over my emotions back then. In reality, the "what if's" are really all the fear is...until we KNOW something differently. We could sit round and think up scenario's for days on end if we let it take us there. For me, even a few hours is a few hours too many to spend in fear about cancer.

Fear is certainly a big part of our lives once we are dx'd and for most of us, through out treatment as well. Even for some time beyond treatment, it can linger, nag and play games with our emotions. And why not? There is plenty to be afraid about, once we are dx'd!!! The best medical treatments we have today are almost savage, at best. Some refer those treatments as the slice/dice, poison and burn approach. But by any name, it's all we have. So we buck up and get through, if we do happen to choose the medical treatment approach. That, dear sisters, requires courage and a lot of bravery. It also requires faith that the treatments will work for us. Trust, that the treatments won't finish us off, while trying to cure us. Hope that we will not suffer debilitating side effects and that we will survive and be ok once again. Fear of the unknown is a big factor when we are dx'd too...like how sick will we be during treatments, etc.. I have not heard of one soul who took a cancer journey without the companionship of fears, whether they chose alternative, complementary or traditional treatment(s)! Not one.

If my cancer returns, if I get a new cancer...well, I will deal with it at that time and I will be the first to know...if you don't count the person in pathology who actually does the testing, and my doctor, who would again, deliver the news that would totally upset my apple cart of life.

Yes, we need to be vigilant (but not hyer-vigilant), we need to listen to and take excellent care of our bodies. Be kind to ourselves and live our lives fully. Not spend time bound up in fears. And it's true, we know better than anyone (who hasn't been there), what it's like. We know the miseries of surgery, chemo, rads, reconstruction and the energy required to get educated quickly and make our treatment decisions. We understand the tears in the wee hours. The physical pains and the emotional turmoil. Looking at our loved ones and crying inside, so they don't see how afraid we are that we may leave them. We were forced to look our mortality straight in the eye balls and our only choice was to continue to stand and fight. Fight yet, with weapons that terrified us almost as much as the disease itself. All the fears that overwhelmed us during those early days of dx and treatment. We know them well. The anxiety, the depression, the anger, all accompanied by more fears. We coped with a lot. But we also learned a lot. We came through wiser and learned many valuable things. There are silver linings in some of the darkest clouds that ever existed. We are proof of that. Even if I live to be 90, I will give fears about cancer NO energy. Not before I have any reason to do so. And the fact that I had it once is not a good enough reason for me.

I fully accept that a certain percentage of us will experience a recurrence or a new cancer at some point in our lives and we may or may not survive a 2nd or 3rd time round. But we're just as likely to survive and thrive, yet again. I believe that to be the facts. We cannot know these things in advance. Why worry about it in advance? I have no crystal ball (and I don't think anyone else has one...not the docs, not the scientists and not the people who compile so many "statistics"). All I can really do is take the positives I gained from cancer forward with me and leave the negatives behind, right where they belong, as part of my history. When we heal, emotionally, I think the fears begin to subside but sometimes it can take a lot of mental/emotional work to put them where they belong and get to where we want to be. Fearing cancer rearing it's ugly head again, will NOT get it dx'd any sooner or get me into treatment modalities any quicker. There is no magic test to reveal cancer when it first begins and truthfully, until we have symptoms or something develops which can be detected by our doctors or ourselves, (evidence)then those are the facts. I accept those facts and spare myself the worry and the stress of unnecessary fears. I keep my appointments. For me, those appointments confirm that I continue to have NED. Cancer can be sneaky, yes. Another fact we accept. But we probably all remember that we didn't see it coming the first time either and we didn't get stressed at our mammo's or other tests, pre cancer...at least I didn't. I never gave cancer much thought, although I knew perfectly well why I was having a mammo or PAP for all those pre-bc years. When I have my annual mammo's and annual gyn visits, annual onc visits, etc., I don't stress. I show up and have it done, just as I always have. I don't anticipate or expect any issues. If something scary pops up, well, I'll save my energy for when and if it does. In the meantime, I've a life to live and overt worries about cancer are not part of it. Cancer takes what it takes from us while we're battling it and that's all it's entitled to, in my opinion. It need not haunt us for the long term. Peace can be ours. If we can get to reconciling the terrifying emotional blow of our cancer experience, and eventually let it go, then we can find the kind of peace within our spirits which roots out fear and exposes it for what it is. It's each of our lives...we must live them, love them, care for them and work to make them what we want them to be. If that means changes in thinking, attitude,thoughts and/or feelings, and some hard looks at our reasoning...well, the sooner we get to work on it, and begin to make adjustments, the better. Don't let those fears begin to grow moss.

Love, light & laughter,
Ink

Never read
your post until now,ink. I feel inspired and empowered-thanks!

Ritzy

ColoradoGal said:

Dear Lanie
I found that once my loved ones saw that I was getting better, physically, they were very anxious to move on and not talk about cancer related topics anymore. Meanwhile I am still scouring the internet researching, looking for signs of hope and dealing with the various issues that we all discuss on this site. Maybe its like OutdoorGirl said - they are afraid to bring it up anymore. Or maybe they just want to move on and get back to a normal life again. Meanwhile, we are still facing months and/or years of treatment and perhaps delayed emotional response to the trauma that we just went through, or about to go through (surgery, chemo, etc). Long after everyone else has gone back to their lives, we're still left holding the bag of emotions, responsibility for our health/treatment, as well as the process of moving forward in a hopeful, mostly fearless manner. Thank goodness for this site and the ability to read, share and encourage one another.

Right now I am so busy with
Right now I am so busy with rads that I am not thinking that much about a recurrence or anything. This is keeping my mind occupied with the fact that I am fighting bc. And, that is good!

Sue

JmG86

Am I scared? Not
Am I scared? Not today...maybe tomorrow, I'll let you know. I was diagnosed in 2003 with stage 4 cancer. Not curable, just "controllable". I was scared every day for a year I think. And then I just couldn't live like that. So, I have my life I'm living right now. I try to "live life to it's fullest every day" - but part of that is going to work and getting aggravated at a co-worker now and then, or having a grumpy day once in a while and perhaps not being the best person I can be. But you know what? That IS a normal life! I love my husband dearly (btw he does not like to discuss my cancer either - it makes HIM afraid, which is ok). We have a wonderful relationship, and I am so blessed. We have our friends, who we laugh and carry on with. I come from a big family which is very close. I have my job where they treat me well, I am so grateful. I have so many blessings, and I always know that some one else has things far worse than I do. Some one else is hurting physically or emotionally, and today I am not. Once in a while when I go to the doctor after I've had scans and I'm holding my breath, and he's telling me they have to change my meds cuz the others stopped working...then I'm scared. But today...I am a lucky lady.

roseann4

JmG86 said:

Am I scared? Not
Am I scared? Not today...maybe tomorrow, I'll let you know. I was diagnosed in 2003 with stage 4 cancer. Not curable, just "controllable". I was scared every day for a year I think. And then I just couldn't live like that. So, I have my life I'm living right now. I try to "live life to it's fullest every day" - but part of that is going to work and getting aggravated at a co-worker now and then, or having a grumpy day once in a while and perhaps not being the best person I can be. But you know what? That IS a normal life! I love my husband dearly (btw he does not like to discuss my cancer either - it makes HIM afraid, which is ok). We have a wonderful relationship, and I am so blessed. We have our friends, who we laugh and carry on with. I come from a big family which is very close. I have my job where they treat me well, I am so grateful. I have so many blessings, and I always know that some one else has things far worse than I do. Some one else is hurting physically or emotionally, and today I am not. Once in a while when I go to the doctor after I've had scans and I'm holding my breath, and he's telling me they have to change my meds cuz the others stopped working...then I'm scared. But today...I am a lucky lady.

You are living for today...
gmg86,
I am in a support group with Dr. Bernie Seigel who wrote, "Love, Medicine and Miracles" as well as many other books on living with cancer. He would say that you were exhibiting true survivor behavior. Good for you! All any of us have is today and it sounds like you are making the most of it.

Roseann

Kylez

roseann4 said:

You are living for today...
gmg86,
I am in a support group with Dr. Bernie Seigel who wrote, "Love, Medicine and Miracles" as well as many other books on living with cancer. He would say that you were exhibiting true survivor behavior. Good for you! All any of us have is today and it sounds like you are making the most of it.

Roseann

This has been such an
This has been such an interesting thread. I have read over and over what so many of you have posted. Believe it or not, it truly has helped me. So, I want to thank all of you for your sincere and honest words. I am still scared, but, you all have made me feel less scared.

And, a really big thanks to Patty ( outdoor girl)!

Thank you!

Kylez ♥

natly15

Kylez said:

This has been such an
This has been such an interesting thread. I have read over and over what so many of you have posted. Believe it or not, it truly has helped me. So, I want to thank all of you for your sincere and honest words. I am still scared, but, you all have made me feel less scared.

And, a really big thanks to Patty ( outdoor girl)!

Thank you!

Kylez ♥

Chemo begins
It was good to hear about the fear, and how you cope. I get my first chemo treatment tomorrow oct 6. My port is in place, and I'm going to take my faith in God with me as I start this next step in my treatment. I'm going to fix my hair tomorrow morning before I leave, knowing that I wont have to worry about fixing it in the very near future. I already purchased a wig and scarfs. I of course wonder how my body will react to these chemicals, but must do what I must do. Hope I have the energy to check in with CSN from time to time. No one understands as one who has or is going thru the process. I've also been told that no one's cancer is the same. How unique can we get. I welcome any prayers for strength to face this next challenge.

survivorbc09

natly15 said:

Chemo begins
It was good to hear about the fear, and how you cope. I get my first chemo treatment tomorrow oct 6. My port is in place, and I'm going to take my faith in God with me as I start this next step in my treatment. I'm going to fix my hair tomorrow morning before I leave, knowing that I wont have to worry about fixing it in the very near future. I already purchased a wig and scarfs. I of course wonder how my body will react to these chemicals, but must do what I must do. Hope I have the energy to check in with CSN from time to time. No one understands as one who has or is going thru the process. I've also been told that no one's cancer is the same. How unique can we get. I welcome any prayers for strength to face this next challenge.

Wishing you good luck natly!
Wishing you good luck natly! This place is always open for you. Post as often as you need or want to. We all help each other thru this!

HUGS

outdoorgirl

Kylez said:

This has been such an
This has been such an interesting thread. I have read over and over what so many of you have posted. Believe it or not, it truly has helped me. So, I want to thank all of you for your sincere and honest words. I am still scared, but, you all have made me feel less scared.

And, a really big thanks to Patty ( outdoor girl)!

Thank you!

Kylez ♥

Oooh,
I get a big thanks,huh!! Is that because I've always got something to say-or maybe I don't and I just think I do....? I don't know!Anyways,that's part of the reason that we're here,girlfriend,and you're welcome!!
Natly,I will be thinking of you and hoping that all goes well-and hopefully you will see that it's not as scary as you thought!

Kylez

outdoorgirl said:

Oooh,
I get a big thanks,huh!! Is that because I've always got something to say-or maybe I don't and I just think I do....? I don't know!Anyways,that's part of the reason that we're here,girlfriend,and you're welcome!!
Natly,I will be thinking of you and hoping that all goes well-and hopefully you will see that it's not as scary as you thought!

Patty
You got a great big thanks because of how you helped me Patty. Not only did you post on here, but, thru your pm's. I really appreciated them! What you said was very encouraging and reassuring. Thanks again Patty and everyone! And, good luck Natly.

Kylez ♥

inkblot

ColoradoGal said:

I'm printing your letter to read as a reality check
You express a certain confidence and control over this disease that I am hopefull, with time I can also attain. However, all of these emotions are new and I am still processing them. I was just DX'd in July of 09, had a mastectomy a few weeks after and have chosen (in agreement with my oncologist), not to do chemo. I start Tamoxifen on Monday. I'm just so sick of all this cancer ($#@. I don't want to spend my days in a fog of worry, doubt and fear. I know I can come out of this. I am, inspite of everything, a highly hopeful person. But at the moment, the feelings are so new, so raw, that they catch me off guard and can send me into a tailspin very easily. I don't need anymore fear based feedback, I don't want to know how bad it can be. I want some hope, some clarity, some positivity, from an articulate, rational, long time survivor such as yourself. Thank you for this immensely helpful and encouraging prospective. I will keep your letter close, and on those days when the grief and doubt start to overtake me, your words will be the lifeline, the inspiration that I will reach for to pull myself out into the light.

I don't quite know what to
I don't quite know what to say. I am very pleased if my words helped you in some way...But trust me, I have no control over cancer. The only thing I can have control over is myself. I can tell from your post that you are a determined lady and that is a very valuable asset. I completely understand the rawness of your emotions and that is
perfectly normal for where you currently are. That will change with time and conscious effort.

I think it is so sad to see people living in fear...expecting their cancers to return any minute and becoming panicked over every ache, pain, test or check up. I wanted to share
that we don't HAVE to deal with fears as we heal, if we give time and attention to our emotional well being. And I think that you are well on your way to effectively dealing with the issues and finding a perspective that is healthy and conducive to a wonderful life. You deserve no less. Keep that light within (yes I can sense it through your words) burning and keep pushing forward. You will be there sooner than you probably think!

Love, light & laughter,
Ink

Marlene_K

natly15 said:

Chemo begins
It was good to hear about the fear, and how you cope. I get my first chemo treatment tomorrow oct 6. My port is in place, and I'm going to take my faith in God with me as I start this next step in my treatment. I'm going to fix my hair tomorrow morning before I leave, knowing that I wont have to worry about fixing it in the very near future. I already purchased a wig and scarfs. I of course wonder how my body will react to these chemicals, but must do what I must do. Hope I have the energy to check in with CSN from time to time. No one understands as one who has or is going thru the process. I've also been told that no one's cancer is the same. How unique can we get. I welcome any prayers for strength to face this next challenge.

We will be close in our journey
I guess we will be about a week apart in our treatment as my chemo will be starting this week. I would love to stay in touch. I'm not great at operating this site, but I will add you as a friend. I will be on TAC; every 21 days for 6 cycles, and then radiation. You? Hopefully you'll find this post and we can become friends.

We can do it!! Marlene

susie09

Marlene_K said:

We will be close in our journey
I guess we will be about a week apart in our treatment as my chemo will be starting this week. I would love to stay in touch. I'm not great at operating this site, but I will add you as a friend. I will be on TAC; every 21 days for 6 cycles, and then radiation. You? Hopefully you'll find this post and we can become friends.

We can do it!! Marlene

Good luck Marlene
Wishing you good luck Marlene with your chemo! We will all support and help you thru it!

♠♣ Susie ♠♣

DianeBC

Kylez said:

Patty
You got a great big thanks because of how you helped me Patty. Not only did you post on here, but, thru your pm's. I really appreciated them! What you said was very encouraging and reassuring. Thanks again Patty and everyone! And, good luck Natly.

Kylez ♥

Bc is so scary anymore. I
Bc is so scary anymore. I read post after post of newbies on here and it is just so sad. And then, you read about all of the ones with the recurrences or another new cancer. I know I live everyday as if it is my last, but, the scary thoughts do still creep in. Why can't they cure this crap?

cristinec

DianeBC said:

Bc is so scary anymore. I
Bc is so scary anymore. I read post after post of newbies on here and it is just so sad. And then, you read about all of the ones with the recurrences or another new cancer. I know I live everyday as if it is my last, but, the scary thoughts do still creep in. Why can't they cure this crap?

Thnak you Diane
I'm scared because there is so much cancer we live with. I live everyday with my Bc, surgery, Tamoxifen and now more surgery. When will all the sickness end for everyone.