My mom passed away...

pitt
pitt Member Posts: 387
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I'm very sad to let you all know that my mom passed away last night. She was 62 years old and had been battling a rare and aggressive uterine sarcoma for the past two years. Those of you who already know me from this discussion group will recall the trials I've had trying to make my two young daughters understand the difference between their Gran's cancer and their mom's breast cancer. Now it it staring us all right in the face. I don't know what else to say except that I am terrified of taking tamoxifen once I'm finished with chemo/radiation. Tamoxifen feeds uterine cancer... I can't go through any of this again... I hate being so afraid. I want to be aggressive and fight my fight without constant worry that I'm causing another beast to grow somewhere else, but as we have said before, it's always something... I guess the secret is to focus on the first bullet; no use worrying about the second one. Thank you for always listening and lending an ear of support. I'm sorry my news is so sad this morning. Can someone come up with a funny topic to get us pumped up for another week of the fight? Love, Liz
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Comments

  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member
    #2
    I'm so sorry
    Liz ... I'm so sorry about your mother. I'm sure you will miss her and that she will miss seeing your girls grow up ... But you are not your mother and your cancer is different ... and you are younger and stronger ... and you will be around for many, many years.

    big hugs.
    teena
  • LC815
    LC815 Member Posts: 155
    #3
    From a Newbie
    Liz,

    I am so sorry to hear about your mom's passing. How are you all doing this morning? I am sending you some energy to get through this. It's not going to be easy, but you will get through as will your little girls.

    Sorry I don't have a funny topic, but I do really believe that Tamoxifen gave me the five years I had cancer-free. It wasn't until I stopped taking any meds at all that the beast returned. I'm hoping my Arimidex can slay it once again.

    I'm probably not helping much, but I send you hugs.

    Peace,
    Linda
  • chickad52
    chickad52 Member Posts: 497
    #4
    Liz
    You are in my deepest thoughts and prayers. I send you some of my strength to get through this time! Hugs, Daine
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #5
    Pitt, I'm so sorry to read
    Pitt, I'm so sorry to read the news of your mom. I've lost both my mom and dad and I know the pain and loss associated with it. You are young and you will conquer this beast, just like the rest of us. Don't worry about "down the road" until you get there. Who knows, there may be some alternative for you by then. Take care and know that we care about you very much and are here to help anyway we can!!
  • pitt
    pitt Member Posts: 387
    #6
    tgf said:

    I'm so sorry
    Liz ... I'm so sorry about your mother. I'm sure you will miss her and that she will miss seeing your girls grow up ... But you are not your mother and your cancer is different ... and you are younger and stronger ... and you will be around for many, many years.

    big hugs.
    teena

    Thank you so much Teena. I
    Thank you so much Teena. I needed that reminder. Love, Liz
  • pinkkari09
    pinkkari09 Member Posts: 877
    #7
    Oh Liz :(
    Good morning Liz, I lost my Mom to lung cancer almost two years ago, she was 62. It's ok to break down, I was the strong one trying to help my brothers through it and when I finally broke down It was really bad. I thank the good Lord above that I wasn't going through breast cancer at the same time. You have a full plate, come here often, cry when you need too and know that you are in the prayers of many!! We always worry about our kids, they are our world, and we are their caretakers, it's not easy to not worry. I'm sending big hugs your way for you and your family, you are in my prayers!
    ((Hugs))
    God Bless,
    Kari
  • pitt
    pitt Member Posts: 387
    #8
    LC815 said:

    From a Newbie
    Liz,

    I am so sorry to hear about your mom's passing. How are you all doing this morning? I am sending you some energy to get through this. It's not going to be easy, but you will get through as will your little girls.

    Sorry I don't have a funny topic, but I do really believe that Tamoxifen gave me the five years I had cancer-free. It wasn't until I stopped taking any meds at all that the beast returned. I'm hoping my Arimidex can slay it once again.

    I'm probably not helping much, but I send you hugs.

    Peace,
    Linda

    Linda, You did help me.
    Linda, You did help me. Thank you so much. I need to be reminded that we can't go through our treatments in fear. You're a great success story. Thank you for sharing. Love, Liz
  • pitt
    pitt Member Posts: 387
    #9
    pinkkari09 said:

    Oh Liz :(
    Good morning Liz, I lost my Mom to lung cancer almost two years ago, she was 62. It's ok to break down, I was the strong one trying to help my brothers through it and when I finally broke down It was really bad. I thank the good Lord above that I wasn't going through breast cancer at the same time. You have a full plate, come here often, cry when you need too and know that you are in the prayers of many!! We always worry about our kids, they are our world, and we are their caretakers, it's not easy to not worry. I'm sending big hugs your way for you and your family, you are in my prayers!
    ((Hugs))
    God Bless,
    Kari

    Thanks everyone...
    Thank you all for reminding me what is important... It helps having others understand what this is like and how much more difficult it is when we have so many other stresses to deal with at the same time. I guess what I'm saying is thank you for validating my fluctuating emotions right now. I really appreciate my sisters in pink. It's amazing isn't it? We've never met but we share so much in common and therefore are able to share so much personal stuff. Thanks for helping me through this. Pitt
  • Marlene_K
    Marlene_K Member Posts: 508
    #10
    I'm so sorry!
    I am so sorry, Liz! Losing 'mom' is never easy and I'm sure it's even a bit more emotional with what you're going through and also trying to protect your girls. I lost my mom 5 years ago and I know the most important thing to me was that my kids be ok. It's funny how we basically lose much of our own identity to our children. I always feel like 'as long as they're ok, I'm ok'. Of course, they need you more than ever now, so you will need to get strength... unfortunately at a time when you feel very vulnerable. But I believe that your mom will give you that. It was a very strange thing that happened when my mom passed. I was with her and as she moved to the 'other side', I could feel this very strong rush come over my entire body as though her soul entered mine. My mom was always there for everything and what better way to help me the rest of my life than to give me her strength! You may not have her physical presence any longer, but her soul will always be by your side. Look to her for strength... she will give it to you!

    With my deepest sympathy and blessings for positive energy through this difficult time...

    Marlene
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    #11
    Liz
    so sorry to hear about your mother.I had a scare with mine in 2008,and I can't imagine what you're going through.
    About the tamox,I am on it and will be for a while. Yeah,every once in a while I get into a funk about how drastic our lives have changed and how a lot of things seem to possibly look bad for further on down the road-but then I am reminded of one thing that I learned and am still learning after being dx'd...that none of us knows what's going to happen tomorrow,only God does.
    Yes,especially after it happened to your mom,I'm sure you would be nervous about the tamox-anyone in your shoes would.
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
    #12
    Pitt, I'm so sorry to hear
    Pitt, I'm so sorry to hear your news!! With your attitude and fight you will not let this ugly beast get the best of you. You have way too much to fight for. My prayers are with you as you deal with the loss of your mother. You are one beautiful lady and I feel in my heart that you will be victorious.
  • GemmaB
    GemmaB Member Posts: 5
    #13
    You arent alone
    Dear Liz
    By pure chance I clicked onto this website for the first time and by pure chance came across your message today. My mother was diagnosed with cancer in April, one month later so was I. I couldnt believe the chances of a mother and daughter both being diagnosed at the same time. Just as I started my chemo my mothers illness increased rapidly and in July after just 3 months I lost her.She was just 68. They never found the primary cause of her cancer, she had secondary liver cancer.

    Losing your mum is bad enough but when you both have cancer it is hard.

    A close friend of mine told me that in the world there is a lot of sh*t to be handed out however, its the strong people that get the most because they can take it. In addition, in amongst all that sh*t there are pearls, sometimes buried very deep and not always immediately obvious but they are always there. If you look for them you will find them, these are the things you need to hang onto when you feel low. One that stands out to me for you is the amount of support you have from all the wonderful comments people have sent you. I now spend my time looking for pearls and I find them everywhere!

    Keep looking for those pearls Liz.

    Kaz
  • elm3544
    elm3544 Member Posts: 748
    #14
    So sorry for the loss of
    So sorry for the loss of your mom. My heart goes out to you and your family.
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #15
    Liz....I'm sending warm hugs....
    It's always hard to lose someone to the fight...especially when you are in the midst of battle, yourself...I'm sure that your onc could help you with the tamoxifen issue, if you share your fears...

    I love your 'first bullet' idea...you are so right...

    So, a funny:

    After my mom's brush with endometrial cancer, which involved a total hysterectomy, she went to the doctor for her 'yearly' exam. She called me, after she got home, VERY upset and irritated that "He isn't doing everything to keep me healthy!", she exclaimed I said "What do you mean?" She responded "He didn't do a pap smear or anything"....I took a deep breath, and said "Well, how do you know if he did or didn't....did you follow him to the pathology department were your cervix NOW is, and see if he did?".

    Hugs, Kathi
  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
    #16
    tgf said:

    I'm so sorry
    Liz ... I'm so sorry about your mother. I'm sure you will miss her and that she will miss seeing your girls grow up ... But you are not your mother and your cancer is different ... and you are younger and stronger ... and you will be around for many, many years.

    big hugs.
    teena

    Liz ♥
    I am at a loss for words to you. All I can say is....I am so very sorry. I lost my Mother this year, one month after I had my second lumpectomy for bc. So, I do understand somewhat. I am here if you need me.

    Love, Jeanne ♥
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #17
    KathiM said:

    Liz....I'm sending warm hugs....
    It's always hard to lose someone to the fight...especially when you are in the midst of battle, yourself...I'm sure that your onc could help you with the tamoxifen issue, if you share your fears...

    I love your 'first bullet' idea...you are so right...

    So, a funny:

    After my mom's brush with endometrial cancer, which involved a total hysterectomy, she went to the doctor for her 'yearly' exam. She called me, after she got home, VERY upset and irritated that "He isn't doing everything to keep me healthy!", she exclaimed I said "What do you mean?" She responded "He didn't do a pap smear or anything"....I took a deep breath, and said "Well, how do you know if he did or didn't....did you follow him to the pathology department were your cervix NOW is, and see if he did?".

    Hugs, Kathi

    Liz I am so sorry. Your mom
    Liz I am so sorry. Your mom was too young and its so hard when you are dealing withyour own things . Are you premenopausal? I dont think tamoxifen has the same effects isnt that why they wait until you are post to start arimedex? sending hugs and hugs and hugs.
  • Lymph23
    Lymph23 Member Posts: 23
    #18
    I'M SO SORRY
    I am so sorry to hear the news about your mum. I also lost both my mum & sister to cancer so when I was diagnosed my daughters where also scared like yours. I told them that every case is different. I somehow think that in a strange way losing both mum & sis made me stronger and even more determined to fight my breast cancer harder. I have know been clear for six years. I am sure you will find the strenghth from inside to continue your fight and succeed.
    Sending best wishes to you.
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    #19
    So sorry to hear your news,
    So sorry to hear your news, Liz. As crushing as her death is to you, remember: you are not your mom. I have found it difficult, but very helpful to sort out what is my cancer and what is not. My best to all your family. xoxoxox Lynn
  • Cindy Bear
    Cindy Bear Member Posts: 569
    #20
    My deepest sympathy
    Hello. I've never posted to the BC boards before. But your post touched me. My mother (79) passed away in June from endiometrial cancer. She had a more common form of uterine cancer but it was very advanced by the time it was diagnosed. Her GP had his head up his a**.. all the signs were there and he ignored them, writing them off as age related issue. Anyway, I've been haunting the uterine, ovarian and breast cancer discussion boards for the last 5 mos. looking for answers, and closure. It's comforting and inspiring to read all the stories of the brave and wonderful ladies that post on these boards, including yourself. I won't lie to you, it's not an easy path dealing with a mother's death and it's esp. difficult when you feel her healthcare providers were inept and negligent. I pray that's not the situation with you. When we were at the hospital with my mom the day she passed, we had a priest in to give last rites. He said remember to take care of yourself during this difficult time, you are esp. vulnerable. Eat well, rest and let family and friends do for you and support you. Don't be afraid to reach out. He also said , "pay close attention to your driving at this time" He had his one and only accident when his mother was very ill. I'd like to add that you'll find a strength in you that you didn't realize you had. My deepest sympathy to you during this difficult time.
  • newbiefromcananda
    newbiefromcananda Member Posts: 234
    #21
    Cindy Bear said:

    My deepest sympathy
    Hello. I've never posted to the BC boards before. But your post touched me. My mother (79) passed away in June from endiometrial cancer. She had a more common form of uterine cancer but it was very advanced by the time it was diagnosed. Her GP had his head up his a**.. all the signs were there and he ignored them, writing them off as age related issue. Anyway, I've been haunting the uterine, ovarian and breast cancer discussion boards for the last 5 mos. looking for answers, and closure. It's comforting and inspiring to read all the stories of the brave and wonderful ladies that post on these boards, including yourself. I won't lie to you, it's not an easy path dealing with a mother's death and it's esp. difficult when you feel her healthcare providers were inept and negligent. I pray that's not the situation with you. When we were at the hospital with my mom the day she passed, we had a priest in to give last rites. He said remember to take care of yourself during this difficult time, you are esp. vulnerable. Eat well, rest and let family and friends do for you and support you. Don't be afraid to reach out. He also said , "pay close attention to your driving at this time" He had his one and only accident when his mother was very ill. I'd like to add that you'll find a strength in you that you didn't realize you had. My deepest sympathy to you during this difficult time.

    soooo sorry to hear about
    soooo sorry to hear about your mom....my thoughts are with you and your family at this time xxxooo<3
    Lisa

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