With all the hope, prayers and positive thinking, the news is really bad

ellenm4 said:

Your faith, Your Love will be your strength
Renee after reading your post I cried. I feel your pain, your confussion, your anger and your fear. I am a breast cancer warrior! Left breast stage 2b grade3, dx 7/2008. Had a clean and clear bill until 7/2011. All my doctors thought it was a metastasis found on the Xray of my left lung upper lobe. Was found early and was yet very small, but they all wanted to watch it for 3 months. In Sept I had another CT/PET and it was growing now. Thorasic surgery was in the very near future. All my doctors felt take it out now since it was still very small and that would be it....what they did not count on was me getting sick with Mono and spending a week in the hospital for a week and then one Dr. not releasing me for surgery due to my system was too weak for this type of surgery. Finally getting the release on Dec 5, I was in the hospital and having the surgery on Dec. 7. Spent 3 days in ICU. When I came home I was told that I would need another surgery done called a mediastinoscopy to check the lymps and have a port installed. Dec 21 I was told that it was not a metastasis but in fact lung cancer and they found not only the one tumor but another as well. This tumor in 2 months had more than tripled in size. Dec 28 had the other surgery. I am now waiting for the results from the biospy on the lymphs.
I almost forgot what it was like to be ok one day to wondering if I am going to die. Then I remember that we all will pass from this earth one day...but I am not ready for it to be today or even tomorrow. I suddenly remember the strength that I had to reach deep down inside me. My faith of God, my faith in everything beautiful and my faith of life. My love of my children, my grandchildren and my life and most of all my love of Christ. There are days I lock myslef in my bedroom and will not come out....that is ok because I tell myself I have only this day and tomorrow is a new day that I will not miss out on. The tears, the stare, the anger it all makes us stronger and makes us GREAT WARRIORS! We are God's Angel Warriors. Saying I am a "survivor" is ok...but I like the sound of "WARRIOR" much better. Learn to stop and smell the roses, touch a tree, love on a puppy. Live everyday to the fullest that you can and live only for that day, for tomorrow is a new one filled with new adventure that you will notice. When told the "C" word and becoming warriors, we see things a little different that others. The red is more vibrant, the blues are breath taking and the greens well we can feel the coolness of the color! Well I have rambled on enough. Renee you and your family are in my prayers and thoughts. You will find the strength you need again as you have done before. Sometimes our battles get harder....but together we can do it! May God Bless you and hold you in his arms to comfort you! Please keep us informed. I post hear and on the lung cancer forum.

In Peace there is Love, in both you will find eternity!

Kat11 said:

Dear Renee
There is not much to say that has not already been said. I am sending you hugs and prayers and you know we are here for you all the way. Please keep us posted.
Kathy

KathiM said:

I am putting my arms around you...can you feel them?
Strong and warm and full of comfort. Just rest your head on my shoulder, dear soul, and take a peaceful moment....

I am sending my love to you,

Dutch hugs, Kathi

AMomNETN said:

Hugs
{{{Renee}}}} I'm so sorry the news wasn't better. I'll keep all of you in my prayers.


Janie

chenheart said:

Victoria's succinct
Victoria's succinct eloquence on the subject speaks absolute volumes.....though the fear is palpable, I wish u a calm heart and a treatment plan which will give u the confidence you need to face this challenge. Know that you are enveloped by the strength and love of all of us to help you when you don't feel quite as brave as you hope to (((((((hugs)))))) Love Chenheart

Frankie Shannon said:

I don't know what to say my
I don't know what to say my arms are around you with a big hug i'm so glad you have your son to lift you up god bless for our children.Strength,courage and love.Hugs Frankie