Wish I had better news :(

mamolady

choices
Kari,
I just want to say that choosing no treatment is not "giving up". This is a very, very difficult decision for any body. My sister had several mets over a period of several years. If radiation could take care of it, she did that. She did not want chemo. She ended up surviving a lot longer than her doctors had anticipated.
That being said, fighting with everything the doctors can throw at it seems to be more your style! If that is the choice you make, you will find the strength. You have support and knowledge from your daughter and support from everyone here. A lot can happen in 2 years and you can surprise your doctors.
Ultimately, the choice is yours, just know you are not alone.

Cindy

Lighthouse_7

mamolady said:

choices
Kari,
I just want to say that choosing no treatment is not "giving up". This is a very, very difficult decision for any body. My sister had several mets over a period of several years. If radiation could take care of it, she did that. She did not want chemo. She ended up surviving a lot longer than her doctors had anticipated.
That being said, fighting with everything the doctors can throw at it seems to be more your style! If that is the choice you make, you will find the strength. You have support and knowledge from your daughter and support from everyone here. A lot can happen in 2 years and you can surprise your doctors.
Ultimately, the choice is yours, just know you are not alone.

Cindy

Kari, I'm so sorry that this
Kari,
I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. My tears are flowing too and I just want to tell you that we are here for you in whatever decision you make.
Sounds like a great idea to wait until your daughter returns and talk with her about it. I agree that doctors can't say how long and numbers shouldn't be given. How many of us have beat the odds and lived a long time.
Cancer does suck and I'm sending you love and courage.
Hugs,
Wanda

jennytwist

Lighthouse_7 said:

Kari, I'm so sorry that this
Kari,
I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. My tears are flowing too and I just want to tell you that we are here for you in whatever decision you make.
Sounds like a great idea to wait until your daughter returns and talk with her about it. I agree that doctors can't say how long and numbers shouldn't be given. How many of us have beat the odds and lived a long time.
Cancer does suck and I'm sending you love and courage.
Hugs,
Wanda

Sending you lots of love
and courage. So sorry you have to do this. I'm sure your daughter will help you with whatever you decide. I'm keeping you in all my prayers that whatever you choose, you'll have peace.
much love,
Jenny

mollyz

jennytwist said:

Sending you lots of love
and courage. So sorry you have to do this. I'm sure your daughter will help you with whatever you decide. I'm keeping you in all my prayers that whatever you choose, you'll have peace.
much love,
Jenny

Sorry to hear
I'll pray for you and your family for your healing and peace. MOLLYZ

Mitzi333

mollyz said:

Sorry to hear
I'll pray for you and your family for your healing and peace. MOLLYZ

I'm soooo Sorry to hear this news!!!
My vote is to Fight with all of your might. Who knows what's on the horizon for new treatments. The docs are Not GOD and do not have the final word on your specific time. It could be tomorrow or years from now. Until God calls you home... I say Fight with all of Your might!!!

You're in my Prayers!!!
Hugs~
Mitzi

Bella Luna

Kari... I am at a loss for
Kari... I am at a loss for words. My heart is heavy for you and your family. I pray God grant you strength and peace to continue forward with your journey. Big Hugs to you sweet one.
Ines

chenheart

Ritzy said:

Wish I had a magic wand
Kari, I so wish I had a magic wand to wave over you to rid you of the cancer. I wish I could wave it over everyone and rid the world of this horrid disease! To say that this just is not fair, doesn't even touch on how unfair this is.

I can't imagine how you are feeling or how confused you must be right now. And, you have a very important decision to make. Wouldn't it be better to wait until your daughter comes home to decide what you are going to do? You are a wonderful Mom to not tell your daughter right now, as she is on her honeymoon, but, don't you think she would want to know and to help you with this? This is too much on your shoulders to handle alone.

Now for my pep talk! RE has been thru bc 3 times, did the treatments, and, she is healthy and enjoying her life to the fullest! Kathi M has had cancer twice and from what I remember was given only a few months to live. She went thru her treatments and is living a full life now years later! Pinkflutterby/Libby has had cancer at least twice now and was given the same diagnosis, only months to live. But, she is taking chemo and is living and enjoying her life years later too! So Kari, there is hope, you can live years and years irregardless of how many months a doctor might tell you. Those 3 women are proof of that! No one knows or can know how long a person has to live. We don't have expiration tags on us! However, these 3 women did the chemo, again and again, but, look at what they gained? I am sure they lost their hair, felt bad and wondered why they were going thru it all again, but, look at what they gained. They gained their life back, they gained more beautiful moments and years to share with their loved ones. Isn't it worth it to at least try Kari?

I am not trying to tell you what to do. This is your choice, your decision. But, new drugs are discovered all of the time and new treatments for cancer. Don't let the damn beast win! Please fight, fight with all that you have inside of you to once again be victorious! I know you can do it Kari! Miracles do happen!!!

I will be praying for you Kari, praying as hard as I can! And hoping that something I wrote will give you some inspiration to fight again! After all, you are my sister, my pink sister and I want you around for a very, very long time!


Hugs, love and hope,

Sue

Sue, you won't mind if I add
Sue, you won't mind if I add my name to the list of stage4 due to recurrance, will you?
I just wanted to be on the list as another survivor...I was diagnosed with a recurrance a little over a year ago~ to my spine, liver, lining of my lung and the previously unaffected side lymphnode. I am tired, and I worried, but I am still alive and active and just celebrated my 1st wedding anniversary 2 weeks ago!

Our ♥ are united with yours, Kari..though the road is so damned scary and I can certainly understand you not wanting to do this again~ my selfish side wants you to decide to try another time. And of course I know it isn't my decision to make, and I would never want to add to any of your stress and decisions! Just know that we are all in your corner...wherever that corner happens to be.

Hugs,
Chen

Clementine_P

Bella Luna said:

Kari... I am at a loss for
Kari... I am at a loss for words. My heart is heavy for you and your family. I pray God grant you strength and peace to continue forward with your journey. Big Hugs to you sweet one.
Ines

Oh No, Kari!
That is horrible news. I am so so sorry. I know that there isn't anything I can say right now to ease your mind. I hope, however, that whatever decision you make - is the best one for you and your family. I am rooting for you to try again with the chemo (or trial as was suggested earlier on this thread) because you simply never know what your silver bullet may be. Still, I know that this is a very personal and very difficult decision so whatever you choose, I know that everyone here will be behind you 110%.

I am so sorry that you have to deal with this. Stay strong.

kya911

Clementine_P said:

Oh No, Kari!
That is horrible news. I am so so sorry. I know that there isn't anything I can say right now to ease your mind. I hope, however, that whatever decision you make - is the best one for you and your family. I am rooting for you to try again with the chemo (or trial as was suggested earlier on this thread) because you simply never know what your silver bullet may be. Still, I know that this is a very personal and very difficult decision so whatever you choose, I know that everyone here will be behind you 110%.

I am so sorry that you have to deal with this. Stay strong.

:0( SO sorry Kari. Will keep
:0( SO sorry Kari. Will keep you & yours in my prayers.
Hugs
Judy

dyaneb123

kya911 said:

:0( SO sorry Kari. Will keep
:0( SO sorry Kari. Will keep you & yours in my prayers.
Hugs
Judy

I'm so sorry Kari. I think
I'm so sorry Kari. I think we all imagine ourselves having to make this decision at some point. I hope you will opt for fighting on, but no one will judge your decision either way. I know my daughter would say keep fighting , but your daughter is in a unique position to understand the options. So I hope you can wait to make the decision with her.
hugs
Dee

sea60

It tears me apart
when I hear news like this. All our hearts are breaking at the news. And as mentioned, I know it's your decision, but what if within the 2 years, they come out with some amazing drug, I have a feeling you would sign up for it! Things happen, miracles DO happen! I'm praying for you and your dear family.

Sending warm embraces!

Sylvia

Double Whammy

sea60 said:

It tears me apart
when I hear news like this. All our hearts are breaking at the news. And as mentioned, I know it's your decision, but what if within the 2 years, they come out with some amazing drug, I have a feeling you would sign up for it! Things happen, miracles DO happen! I'm praying for you and your dear family.

Sending warm embraces!

Sylvia

I'm so sad
about this Kari. I will support any decision you make and wish I could do more than that. Oh, I can - I can send prayers and positive thoughts. And I'll do that.

Love,
Suzanne

jessiesmom1

Your Not So Good News
Oh Kari, I am so sorry things are not going well for you. The tears are just rolling down my face right now. I can add absolutely nothing more than the Pink Sisters have already said in the posts before mine. Just know that whatever you decide we will always be here to support you.

IRENE

grams2jc

So sorry Kari
I am so sorry that you are going through this. There is nothing I can add but that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Before my diagnosis, in that horrible waiting period, I had an appt with my primary care doc and he told me that he couldn't count the number of times he had called an oncologist to "chew them out" for quoting numbers to one of his patients, he never wants his patients to lose their fighting spirits and he doesn't believe anybody can tell us exactly how long we have. I have to agree with him.

If I had a vote in this I would say wait for your daughter to get home to discuss it and decide, and yes it will be a horrible battle but so much can change in 2 years.

I hope that you can find some peace,

Jennifer

poplolly

Pink--This is so awful.
Pink--This is so awful. You're facing a very personal decision. I can't think of anything up-lifting to even say at this point. Except, doctors have been wrong before about the time factor. Prayer is all I can think of at this point.

LoveBabyJesus

Dear Kari - First of all, I
Dear Kari - First of all, I am very sorry for all the anxiety, stress and emotional pain you are going through. And I am sorry your love ones are concerned and sad about the news. Although all was said, by a Dr. (not God), I would like to add something.

I understand you are tired and probably looking at this from a different perspective. But, I think it is worth it to fight this as long as you can. For you, for your daughter, for your family, and for us, your pinks sisters.

I am not sure what your level of faith is - and I know it is very hard when you have a Dr. (I repeat, not GOD) telling you these things. But I want you to know, miracles happen and God is with you, and only he can make the last call. However, you need to do yourself a favor and BELIEVE. Please have faith no matter what you see or hear. And say to yourself, that you will fight this with God supporting you. We will be here of course. But we will also pray together so that God knows we all want this to be another miracle.

It is very important you always declare, out loud, that you will be OK. Always positive. Words are very powerful and so are thoughts.

I hope you are OK with us doing a chain of prayer for you? But you need to help us by having faith AND BELIEVING. I know this may seem impossible for you, and very hard. But no matter how hard things can be, God has the last call.

We are thinking of you. And whatever you decide, we are here for you too. But we - selfishly and with strong faith - would like for you to choose LIFE, by fighting and believing in God like Abrahaan did. This is what I would love to do, if I was in the same case as you.

Please believe. No matter what.

Hugs and prayers.

carkris

LoveBabyJesus said:

Dear Kari - First of all, I
Dear Kari - First of all, I am very sorry for all the anxiety, stress and emotional pain you are going through. And I am sorry your love ones are concerned and sad about the news. Although all was said, by a Dr. (not God), I would like to add something.

I understand you are tired and probably looking at this from a different perspective. But, I think it is worth it to fight this as long as you can. For you, for your daughter, for your family, and for us, your pinks sisters.

I am not sure what your level of faith is - and I know it is very hard when you have a Dr. (I repeat, not GOD) telling you these things. But I want you to know, miracles happen and God is with you, and only he can make the last call. However, you need to do yourself a favor and BELIEVE. Please have faith no matter what you see or hear. And say to yourself, that you will fight this with God supporting you. We will be here of course. But we will also pray together so that God knows we all want this to be another miracle.

It is very important you always declare, out loud, that you will be OK. Always positive. Words are very powerful and so are thoughts.

I hope you are OK with us doing a chain of prayer for you? But you need to help us by having faith AND BELIEVING. I know this may seem impossible for you, and very hard. But no matter how hard things can be, God has the last call.

We are thinking of you. And whatever you decide, we are here for you too. But we - selfishly and with strong faith - would like for you to choose LIFE, by fighting and believing in God like Abrahaan did. This is what I would love to do, if I was in the same case as you.

Please believe. No matter what.

Hugs and prayers.

Kari I am so sorry that the
Kari I am so sorry that the news has not been as good as you would like. I think you must be terrified. the ladies and gent give great advice. I have read that PARP inhibitors are very promising for TNBC. MAJW has some good advice. as always we are here for you, no matter what you decide. lots of LOVE

survivorbc09

Ritzy said:

Wish I had a magic wand
Kari, I so wish I had a magic wand to wave over you to rid you of the cancer. I wish I could wave it over everyone and rid the world of this horrid disease! To say that this just is not fair, doesn't even touch on how unfair this is.

I can't imagine how you are feeling or how confused you must be right now. And, you have a very important decision to make. Wouldn't it be better to wait until your daughter comes home to decide what you are going to do? You are a wonderful Mom to not tell your daughter right now, as she is on her honeymoon, but, don't you think she would want to know and to help you with this? This is too much on your shoulders to handle alone.

Now for my pep talk! RE has been thru bc 3 times, did the treatments, and, she is healthy and enjoying her life to the fullest! Kathi M has had cancer twice and from what I remember was given only a few months to live. She went thru her treatments and is living a full life now years later! Pinkflutterby/Libby has had cancer at least twice now and was given the same diagnosis, only months to live. But, she is taking chemo and is living and enjoying her life years later too! So Kari, there is hope, you can live years and years irregardless of how many months a doctor might tell you. Those 3 women are proof of that! No one knows or can know how long a person has to live. We don't have expiration tags on us! However, these 3 women did the chemo, again and again, but, look at what they gained? I am sure they lost their hair, felt bad and wondered why they were going thru it all again, but, look at what they gained. They gained their life back, they gained more beautiful moments and years to share with their loved ones. Isn't it worth it to at least try Kari?

I am not trying to tell you what to do. This is your choice, your decision. But, new drugs are discovered all of the time and new treatments for cancer. Don't let the damn beast win! Please fight, fight with all that you have inside of you to once again be victorious! I know you can do it Kari! Miracles do happen!!!

I will be praying for you Kari, praying as hard as I can! And hoping that something I wrote will give you some inspiration to fight again! After all, you are my sister, my pink sister and I want you around for a very, very long time!


Hugs, love and hope,

Sue

Your post brought tears to
Your post brought tears to my eyes Kari. I wish I could offer you more than just hugs, prayers and hope, but, that is all I can.


I will also be with you 100% should you choose to fight, and, I pray that you will.

You mention your daughter, fight for her!


Like Ritzy said, Miracles do happen and they do!


Hugs, Jan

survivorbc09

Ritzy said:

Wish I had a magic wand
Kari, I so wish I had a magic wand to wave over you to rid you of the cancer. I wish I could wave it over everyone and rid the world of this horrid disease! To say that this just is not fair, doesn't even touch on how unfair this is.

I can't imagine how you are feeling or how confused you must be right now. And, you have a very important decision to make. Wouldn't it be better to wait until your daughter comes home to decide what you are going to do? You are a wonderful Mom to not tell your daughter right now, as she is on her honeymoon, but, don't you think she would want to know and to help you with this? This is too much on your shoulders to handle alone.

Now for my pep talk! RE has been thru bc 3 times, did the treatments, and, she is healthy and enjoying her life to the fullest! Kathi M has had cancer twice and from what I remember was given only a few months to live. She went thru her treatments and is living a full life now years later! Pinkflutterby/Libby has had cancer at least twice now and was given the same diagnosis, only months to live. But, she is taking chemo and is living and enjoying her life years later too! So Kari, there is hope, you can live years and years irregardless of how many months a doctor might tell you. Those 3 women are proof of that! No one knows or can know how long a person has to live. We don't have expiration tags on us! However, these 3 women did the chemo, again and again, but, look at what they gained? I am sure they lost their hair, felt bad and wondered why they were going thru it all again, but, look at what they gained. They gained their life back, they gained more beautiful moments and years to share with their loved ones. Isn't it worth it to at least try Kari?

I am not trying to tell you what to do. This is your choice, your decision. But, new drugs are discovered all of the time and new treatments for cancer. Don't let the damn beast win! Please fight, fight with all that you have inside of you to once again be victorious! I know you can do it Kari! Miracles do happen!!!

I will be praying for you Kari, praying as hard as I can! And hoping that something I wrote will give you some inspiration to fight again! After all, you are my sister, my pink sister and I want you around for a very, very long time!


Hugs, love and hope,

Sue

Your post brought tears to
Your post brought tears to my eyes Kari. I wish I could offer you more than just hugs, prayers and hope, but, that is all I can.


I will also be with you 100% should you choose to fight, and, I pray that you will.

You mention your daughter, fight for her!


Like Ritzy said, Miracles do happen and they do!


Hugs, Jan

ladyg

This is really sad news.
I can understand your not wanting to do battle with the beast anymore. But as others have said you never know when they will find the cure. You need to make the decision that is right for you and your family. We will all be with you whatever you decide.

Hugs,
Georgia