My Mother- First Time.....
This is my first time posting and the first time I open my lap top to research Breast Cancer. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer this past Friday. Jan. 12th we find out what stage- they believe its possibly Stage 2B or 3A (praying for 2B). I dont even know where to begin...
My mother doesnt speak very good English- she trusts doctors and I know when we go Wednesday- and we have to make a decision on treatment- she will go with whatver they recommend. I need ot be strong and informed- please help.
They found the cancer in her left breat- nothing on the right- . They are recommending chemo before surgery- then surgery- then chemo/radiation afterwards. I didnt even know radiation therapy and chemo were two different things. I dont know if we should put her through chemo first?
My mom- as most women is into fashion and her BEAUTIFUL hair is one of her many prides- how can we avoid hair loss?
We are still in a bit of denial- but I am tryig to prepare. My mom is 52 and we are praying...
Any advice will mean the world to me...
All My Love,
Jessica- Houston, TX
Comments
-
Welcome
Welcome to the site Jessica. I am sorry your Mom is dealing with this but glad she has you there for her. If you could give us a little more info I am sure someone will be able to help more. What kind is cancer is it? There are many different kinds of BC. I had chemo and rads after but some have chemo then surgery.Someone with the same type of cancer will be able to help more. God Bless
(((Hugs))) Janice0 -
I was a stage 3a at 52 also.
I was a stage 3a at 52 also. I also had chemo first and after surgery and then radiation last. I had to have chemo first because the tumor had to be shrunk or I'd need skin grafts at surgery. My tumor was quite large at 6cm and 3cm. The surgeon also said that having chemo first would wipe out any cancer cells floating around the body. As it turned out I also had cancer in my lymph nodes. Everybody is different tho so others have had different treatment than I.
I don't know of any way to prevent hair loss. It will grow back but I know that doesn't make it any easier to lose.
If there are things you don't understand ask the doctor to explain or ask why he chose that treatment.
Good luck and take care of yourself also and don't worry.
I was diagnosed in 2003.0 -
Thank you Boppy_of_3. IBoppy_of_6 said:Welcome
Welcome to the site Jessica. I am sorry your Mom is dealing with this but glad she has you there for her. If you could give us a little more info I am sure someone will be able to help more. What kind is cancer is it? There are many different kinds of BC. I had chemo and rads after but some have chemo then surgery.Someone with the same type of cancer will be able to help more. God Bless
(((Hugs))) Janice
Thank you Boppy_of_3. I dont even know which type of BC it is. We find out Wednesday. I didnt even know there were different types. I do know it has spread to the lymp nodes but not the skin...Right now looks it might be Stage II or early stage III...0 -
Thank you Marcia. ThatMarcia527 said:I was a stage 3a at 52 also.
I was a stage 3a at 52 also. I also had chemo first and after surgery and then radiation last. I had to have chemo first because the tumor had to be shrunk or I'd need skin grafts at surgery. My tumor was quite large at 6cm and 3cm. The surgeon also said that having chemo first would wipe out any cancer cells floating around the body. As it turned out I also had cancer in my lymph nodes. Everybody is different tho so others have had different treatment than I.
I don't know of any way to prevent hair loss. It will grow back but I know that doesn't make it any easier to lose.
If there are things you don't understand ask the doctor to explain or ask why he chose that treatment.
Good luck and take care of yourself also and don't worry.
I was diagnosed in 2003.
Thank you Marcia. That helps. I beleive hers is betwen 4-5 centimters but has spread to the lymp nodes. She has been going to her yearly tests every year since 2004. Always clean. She was due to go in October- but missed and didnt go until last week and that is what when we found out. My angel of mother said she had noticed a lump a few months ago- but she was hoping it would go away and wanted to wait until my wedding was over in June of this year to get examied.....
Luckily- she changed her mind and went last week.. She is so worried about disrupting our lives and being there on my wedding- without worries... My wedding was supposed to be in cancun- I dont think its a good idea to fly and do that right now. I think we will move it in town- as soon as we figure out her surgery and treatment. I know my mom wants to have her hair at my wedding and I told her I dont care- so I struggle if she will be in a better condition before or after surgrery....
writing here helps- I admire all of you- thank you for your advice.....0 -
Hope this helps!
I am so sorry that you had to find us because of your mom, but you will always be welcome here. And you have found a great message board and support group.
Just to let you know, I was Stage 3A in my left breast in 1987 and next month is my 24th anniversary since diagnosis! I was 33 then and will be 58 this year. I had a mastectomy, chemo, radiation and years of tamoxifen.
Every treatment is individual depending on tumor characteristics. See:
Tumor Characteristics
I did lose my hair, but that is very temporary and it all came back. If your mom does lose her hair, many here are full of great info regarding scarves, wigs, etc. Not every chemo regimen causes hair loss, but many do.
Even though your mom doesn't speak much English, most hospitals and offices use the ATT translator service, so she can ask for translation (or you can for her).
You guys have a lot to take in and are probably still in shock. We are all here to help though whenever you need us. You and your family are in my prayers.0 -
Thank you Cynthia- yourCypressCynthia said:Hope this helps!
I am so sorry that you had to find us because of your mom, but you will always be welcome here. And you have found a great message board and support group.
Just to let you know, I was Stage 3A in my left breast in 1987 and next month is my 24th anniversary since diagnosis! I was 33 then and will be 58 this year. I had a mastectomy, chemo, radiation and years of tamoxifen.
Every treatment is individual depending on tumor characteristics. See:
Tumor Characteristics
I did lose my hair, but that is very temporary and it all came back. If your mom does lose her hair, many here are full of great info regarding scarves, wigs, etc. Not every chemo regimen causes hair loss, but many do.
Even though your mom doesn't speak much English, most hospitals and offices use the ATT translator service, so she can ask for translation (or you can for her).
You guys have a lot to take in and are probably still in shock. We are all here to help though whenever you need us. You and your family are in my prayers.
Thank you Cynthia- your advice helps. we are in shock... my mom went to the her normal beauty hair salon appointment yesterday and dyed her hair and got highlights.... I didnt bother stopping her from doing it.....0 -
I am saying welcome as well.CypressCynthia said:Hope this helps!
I am so sorry that you had to find us because of your mom, but you will always be welcome here. And you have found a great message board and support group.
Just to let you know, I was Stage 3A in my left breast in 1987 and next month is my 24th anniversary since diagnosis! I was 33 then and will be 58 this year. I had a mastectomy, chemo, radiation and years of tamoxifen.
Every treatment is individual depending on tumor characteristics. See:
Tumor Characteristics
I did lose my hair, but that is very temporary and it all came back. If your mom does lose her hair, many here are full of great info regarding scarves, wigs, etc. Not every chemo regimen causes hair loss, but many do.
Even though your mom doesn't speak much English, most hospitals and offices use the ATT translator service, so she can ask for translation (or you can for her).
You guys have a lot to take in and are probably still in shock. We are all here to help though whenever you need us. You and your family are in my prayers.
I am saying welcome as well. When you have more information we can probably answer your questions. hair loss is pretty much unadvoidable from chemo, but hair does grow back, and your mom can have beautiful wigs and scarves. You can still be beautiful going thorough treatment. Hugs Penny0 -
Being a Mom I know howCypressCynthia said:Hope this helps!
I am so sorry that you had to find us because of your mom, but you will always be welcome here. And you have found a great message board and support group.
Just to let you know, I was Stage 3A in my left breast in 1987 and next month is my 24th anniversary since diagnosis! I was 33 then and will be 58 this year. I had a mastectomy, chemo, radiation and years of tamoxifen.
Every treatment is individual depending on tumor characteristics. See:
Tumor Characteristics
I did lose my hair, but that is very temporary and it all came back. If your mom does lose her hair, many here are full of great info regarding scarves, wigs, etc. Not every chemo regimen causes hair loss, but many do.
Even though your mom doesn't speak much English, most hospitals and offices use the ATT translator service, so she can ask for translation (or you can for her).
You guys have a lot to take in and are probably still in shock. We are all here to help though whenever you need us. You and your family are in my prayers.
Being a Mom I know how important it is for her to be there for the wedding and all that comes with that. I did well with my chemo. I did not get sick but was really tired, and had some days that it was hard to do much. I did work through my treatments too. It is hard to lose your hair, some of the wigs are so nice now it is almost hard to tell a difference. I hope your Mom will be able to get one close to her natural hair. There are several places to get them or order them. I am sure your hospital will have a social worker that will help with that. If not you can ask anytime here. I am in Texas too, but a ways north of Houston. Is your Mom going to MD Anderson? I will be praying for your family.God Bless
(((Hugs))) Janice0 -
Hi Janice,Boppy_of_6 said:Being a Mom I know how
Being a Mom I know how important it is for her to be there for the wedding and all that comes with that. I did well with my chemo. I did not get sick but was really tired, and had some days that it was hard to do much. I did work through my treatments too. It is hard to lose your hair, some of the wigs are so nice now it is almost hard to tell a difference. I hope your Mom will be able to get one close to her natural hair. There are several places to get them or order them. I am sure your hospital will have a social worker that will help with that. If not you can ask anytime here. I am in Texas too, but a ways north of Houston. Is your Mom going to MD Anderson? I will be praying for your family.God Bless
(((Hugs))) Janice
I want to go
Hi Janice,
I want to go ahead and get her a wig and some scarfs. It will be difficult to get them without her trying them on first- but I know she doesnt have the heart to try them on right now. She is a Texas Women's. She seems comfortable with her doctor so I'm not sure how to get her to look into MD Anderson. But I have been thinking about it. Any online websites? When you sau scarfe- are they really any one? Or special scarfs? Is it true that we should remove the microwave from her house because of the radiation?
Thank you and God Bless you too
Jessica0 -
I'm so sorry about your Mom
you certainly came to the right place for advice and support. First of all, you're in a great city for medical treatment.
Just to let you know, I had Chemo before surgery. They did that to shrink down the tumor and it was very effective. Then I had surgery, then radiation. Yes, Chemotherapy and Radiation are the 2 common ways to treat breast cancer. Go to the Member resource gallery or any breast cancer link to learn more. There's so much out there.
You can also get a 2nd opinion if you are in question. Unfortunately, this is becoming so common so there are many really good doctors who are well informed in the treatment for breast cancer.
Tell your Mom that if she loses her hair, it is almost certain to grow back just as beautiful as it is now.
Jessica, I'm praying for your Mom as I do all of us here. She's blessed to have such a caring daughter such as you to help her. You will be a great source of strength for her.
Keep us posted.
Hugs,
Sylvia0 -
Thank you for listeningsea60 said:I'm so sorry about your Mom
you certainly came to the right place for advice and support. First of all, you're in a great city for medical treatment.
Just to let you know, I had Chemo before surgery. They did that to shrink down the tumor and it was very effective. Then I had surgery, then radiation. Yes, Chemotherapy and Radiation are the 2 common ways to treat breast cancer. Go to the Member resource gallery or any breast cancer link to learn more. There's so much out there.
You can also get a 2nd opinion if you are in question. Unfortunately, this is becoming so common so there are many really good doctors who are well informed in the treatment for breast cancer.
Tell your Mom that if she loses her hair, it is almost certain to grow back just as beautiful as it is now.
Jessica, I'm praying for your Mom as I do all of us here. She's blessed to have such a caring daughter such as you to help her. You will be a great source of strength for her.
Keep us posted.
Hugs,
Sylvia
This is really helping me- thank you all for your comments and prayers- I may have to start praying an hour early tonight- as all of you are in my prayers as well.
I am becoming more and more convinced that she needs to do chemo before surgery.
All My Love,
Jessica
P.S.- The pictue I posted is of me and my mom. That was the day she helped me pick out my wedding dress. The dress arrives this March- cant wait for my mom to see me in it....0 -
Beautiful picture!the daughter said:Thank you for listening
This is really helping me- thank you all for your comments and prayers- I may have to start praying an hour early tonight- as all of you are in my prayers as well.
I am becoming more and more convinced that she needs to do chemo before surgery.
All My Love,
Jessica
P.S.- The pictue I posted is of me and my mom. That was the day she helped me pick out my wedding dress. The dress arrives this March- cant wait for my mom to see me in it....
I love this picture. Congratulations on your up and coming wedding!0 -
The American Cancer Societythe daughter said:Hi Janice,
I want to go
Hi Janice,
I want to go ahead and get her a wig and some scarfs. It will be difficult to get them without her trying them on first- but I know she doesnt have the heart to try them on right now. She is a Texas Women's. She seems comfortable with her doctor so I'm not sure how to get her to look into MD Anderson. But I have been thinking about it. Any online websites? When you sau scarfe- are they really any one? Or special scarfs? Is it true that we should remove the microwave from her house because of the radiation?
Thank you and God Bless you too
Jessica
The American Cancer Society has wigs and scarves that they will give you. The place I ordered mine was TLC.com I know there are other places I am sure someone will know where else to check. I wore bandanas a lot. It was during the summer and you know how the summers are in Texas. I just felt more comfortable in bandanas and caps. If I had a special ocassion I would wear my wig. TLC does have some special scarves but I think any kind will work. I could never quite get the hang of tying them right. There is a place that will give you a really nice silk scarf....Help sisters I can't remember what it is? Someone will remember. I was just curious about MD Anderson. Houston has a lot of good Drs. If your Mom is comfortable with hers that is great. My daughter is named Jessica and is a great daughter sounds like you are too. God Bless
(((Hugs))) Janice0 -
Thank you- my mom was sosea60 said:Beautiful picture!
I love this picture. Congratulations on your up and coming wedding!
Thank you- my mom was so proud of getting that dress for me0 -
Jessica
I welcome you to the breast cancer network although I'm sorry your mom was dx. There are a lot of wonderful women on this site to help you help your mom through her journey. Once she knows what stage, etc you may have specific questions. We share our experiences and encourage questions. Sending you and your mom a cyber {{hug}}.
Char0 -
Hi again Jessica!the daughter said:Thank you for listening
This is really helping me- thank you all for your comments and prayers- I may have to start praying an hour early tonight- as all of you are in my prayers as well.
I am becoming more and more convinced that she needs to do chemo before surgery.
All My Love,
Jessica
P.S.- The pictue I posted is of me and my mom. That was the day she helped me pick out my wedding dress. The dress arrives this March- cant wait for my mom to see me in it....
This beautiful picture represents a special day in your life! Congratulations on your upcomming wedding and remember despite this scary cancer fight you will still have many happy days in your future with your loving Mom!
Best wishes,
Susan0 -
We're all different
There is no one right treatment plan for all types of breast cancer, just as each of us is different. In my case, being IBC (Inflammatory Breast Cancer) I had chemo to shrink it and get margins, surgery, more chemo and finally radiation in that order. Also being ER+, I have been on Femara for 11 months and will be for another 4 years.
Take a notebook with you when you go to the appointment. Have questions written down and make notes. There will be a lot to absorb in a relatively short time so your notes can help you understand when thnkingabout/going through what you were told later.
There will probably be quite a few more tests - CT/MRI/Bone/PET/EEG/EKG are some before treatment begins.
Unfortunately, most likely she will loose her hair. Your local Cancer Care Center may very well have wigs for those who need them (the one I went to did) and scarves. The local ACS will probably have some if the center doesn't. Check with the insurance company. There should be a B C Navigator at the Center that is a wealth of info - so ask. Hair does come back!
Susan0 -
This is a great group hereRague said:We're all different
There is no one right treatment plan for all types of breast cancer, just as each of us is different. In my case, being IBC (Inflammatory Breast Cancer) I had chemo to shrink it and get margins, surgery, more chemo and finally radiation in that order. Also being ER+, I have been on Femara for 11 months and will be for another 4 years.
Take a notebook with you when you go to the appointment. Have questions written down and make notes. There will be a lot to absorb in a relatively short time so your notes can help you understand when thnkingabout/going through what you were told later.
There will probably be quite a few more tests - CT/MRI/Bone/PET/EEG/EKG are some before treatment begins.
Unfortunately, most likely she will loose her hair. Your local Cancer Care Center may very well have wigs for those who need them (the one I went to did) and scarves. The local ACS will probably have some if the center doesn't. Check with the insurance company. There should be a B C Navigator at the Center that is a wealth of info - so ask. Hair does come back!
Susan
This is a great group here and we will help answer questions and support you through all this. Hard as it is to do, try to take it a day at a time. This can all be so overwhelming for you, your mom, and your family. Since you probably have time, moving the wedding closer to home might be a good idea. You can always do Cancun for the honeymoon. So sorry that this is happening to your mom. I love the picture of the two of you and what a special moment that must have been. I didn't have chemo so I can't speak to the hair loss but remind your mom that it's her you want here not her hair. I am sure you have told her but tell her again and again. I will keep you all in my prayers and good thoughts.
Stef0 -
Stay Strong Jessica
Hi Jessica,
So sorry to hear about your mother, even though this may not be the best of times, it is good that you have found this online community to help you get through this. My mother had breast cancer as well, and I'm not going to lie to you, the road ahead may not be easy, but you have to remember that your love for your mother is the best treatment you can give her. Remember to stay strong for your mom, try and stay positive, never lose faith, and know that you will always have the people on this website to help you through the hard times. If you ever have any questions at all please don't hesitate to ask.
Best of luck,
Vinnie-Plymouth, MA0 -
JessicaVinnie74 said:Stay Strong Jessica
Hi Jessica,
So sorry to hear about your mother, even though this may not be the best of times, it is good that you have found this online community to help you get through this. My mother had breast cancer as well, and I'm not going to lie to you, the road ahead may not be easy, but you have to remember that your love for your mother is the best treatment you can give her. Remember to stay strong for your mom, try and stay positive, never lose faith, and know that you will always have the people on this website to help you through the hard times. If you ever have any questions at all please don't hesitate to ask.
Best of luck,
Vinnie-Plymouth, MA
Here is a link to a site that gives away 100% silk head wraps. They cost non cancer customers
72.00 You get to pick out the style & color you want.
http://www.franceluxe.com/i/goodwishesscarves/GoodWishesScarves.html
Jessica, You are the type of daughter everyone would like have.
Stay brave for your Mom.
We are here for you.
Huge Hugs For you & your Mom
Judy0
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