My Mother- First Time.....

Kylez

carkris said:

I am saying welcome as well.
I am saying welcome as well. When you have more information we can probably answer your questions. hair loss is pretty much unadvoidable from chemo, but hair does grow back, and your mom can have beautiful wigs and scarves. You can still be beautiful going thorough treatment. Hugs Penny

Welcome to this great site!
Welcome to this great site! You are surrounded by women of great courage, strength, wisdom and kindness.

Sending prayers for your mom.


Hugs, Kylez

Jean 0609

Hi Jessica,
Sending prayers to you and your Mom. She is lucky to have such a loving, caring daughter. Good luck on your upcoming marriage. Hugs to you both.

Jean

Gabe N Abby Mom

Hello,
I also had chemo
Hello,

I also had chemo first, because of the kind of BC I have. Chemo first is pretty common...chemo is a systemic treatment and will attack cancer cells wherever they might be in your mother's body. Surgery and radiation are targeted treatments, they only attack cancer at the tumor site. So each of the treatments have a different purpose.

I do understand the shock and denial, and you've come to a good place to get through that and to prepare as much as is possible. The people here are wonderful about sharing experiences and answering questions, so please keep checking with us.

You have a lot on your plate, with your wedding and your Mom's BC. Be sure to take some time and take care of yourself too.

Hugs,

Linda

Alexis F

Jean 0609 said:

Hi Jessica,
Sending prayers to you and your Mom. She is lucky to have such a loving, caring daughter. Good luck on your upcoming marriage. Hugs to you both.

Jean

Sending my prayers for your
Sending my prayers for your Mom too. It is so great that she has a wonderful daughter like you.


Lex

the daughter

Gabe N Abby Mom said:

Hello,
I also had chemo
Hello,

I also had chemo first, because of the kind of BC I have. Chemo first is pretty common...chemo is a systemic treatment and will attack cancer cells wherever they might be in your mother's body. Surgery and radiation are targeted treatments, they only attack cancer at the tumor site. So each of the treatments have a different purpose.

I do understand the shock and denial, and you've come to a good place to get through that and to prepare as much as is possible. The people here are wonderful about sharing experiences and answering questions, so please keep checking with us.

You have a lot on your plate, with your wedding and your Mom's BC. Be sure to take some time and take care of yourself too.

Hugs,

Linda

Thank you my wonderful and
Thank you my wonderful and beautiful online buddies. Tomorrow is a big day for us. Tomorrow we receive the biposy results.


Thank you everyone for your prayers. I am praying for good news!!

PinkPearl

the daughter said:

Thank you my wonderful and
Thank you my wonderful and beautiful online buddies. Tomorrow is a big day for us. Tomorrow we receive the biposy results.


Thank you everyone for your prayers. I am praying for good news!!

Hi Jessica
Your mom is so lucky to have you at her side now. You will be a wonderful advocate for her and help her find the best information and reassure her about the decisions she makes ahead. Your wedding will be such a fun inspiration for her to keep on going through all of this. I am also in the Houston area and there are wonderful doctors here who know so much. My head just was spinning at first with so many thoughts and questions. Just write them down and ask, ask, ask. I always try to take someone with me to help me listen and ask questions that I don't think of. Then it just takes some time to think about it all and get comfortable with the next step. The people on this site can really help you --I just read most of the posts from time to time and usually gain a new perspective even if I don't write back or post something. Good luck tomorrow and God Bless you and your mom.
Merlyn

survivorbc09

the daughter said:

Thank you my wonderful and
Thank you my wonderful and beautiful online buddies. Tomorrow is a big day for us. Tomorrow we receive the biposy results.


Thank you everyone for your prayers. I am praying for good news!!

Sending prayers for tomorrow
Sending prayers for tomorrow for your Mom.


Hugs, Jan

Boppy_of_6

survivorbc09 said:

Sending prayers for tomorrow
Sending prayers for tomorrow for your Mom.


Hugs, Jan

Prayers
Prayers are being said today for you and your Mom. God Bless
(((Hugs))) Janice

mariam_11_09

I am so sorry to hear that

I am so sorry to hear that your mother has breast cancer and has to go through all of this. How beautiful she has such a loving and dedicated daughter to help her through this difficult time. Not only that your flexibility and willingness to change some of your wedding plans to accomodate your mother's condition, is really quite something. I can only hope that my daughter develops such an ability to show how much she really cares.

The only thing I can add to what other women have written, is that for me, what made this journey more tolerable was just taking one day at time, just putting one foot in front of the other and dealing with what is happening right now. The other thing was gratitude, even though I was going through cancer treatment I still had soooo much to be grateful for.

best wishes and much love to you and your mom.

Angie2U

cahjah75 said:

Jessica
I welcome you to the breast cancer network although I'm sorry your mom was dx. There are a lot of wonderful women on this site to help you help your mom through her journey. Once she knows what stage, etc you may have specific questions. We share our experiences and encourage questions. Sending you and your mom a cyber {{hug}}.
Char

Sending hugs and prayers for
Sending hugs and prayers for your mom and for you too.

survivorbc09

the daughter said:

Thank you my wonderful and
Thank you my wonderful and beautiful online buddies. Tomorrow is a big day for us. Tomorrow we receive the biposy results.


Thank you everyone for your prayers. I am praying for good news!!

Did I miss a post with the
Did I miss a post with the news on your Mother? Praying her biopsy results were good.


Jan

EllenaMaria

mariam_11_09 said:

I am so sorry to hear that

I am so sorry to hear that your mother has breast cancer and has to go through all of this. How beautiful she has such a loving and dedicated daughter to help her through this difficult time. Not only that your flexibility and willingness to change some of your wedding plans to accomodate your mother's condition, is really quite something. I can only hope that my daughter develops such an ability to show how much she really cares.

The only thing I can add to what other women have written, is that for me, what made this journey more tolerable was just taking one day at time, just putting one foot in front of the other and dealing with what is happening right now. The other thing was gratitude, even though I was going through cancer treatment I still had soooo much to be grateful for.

best wishes and much love to you and your mom.

Ask questions about everything.
Making a binder is really helpful. You can really get overwhelmed easily and sorting things out will be good.

Patients need to ask questions. Doctors are human beings who have gone to school and have learned and studied and practiced what they have learned. They are not Gods almighty. I have found that whenever I ask a question they are more than happy to spend whatever amount of time they need to to help me understand.

My husband and I researched my surgeon, oncologist, radiologist. I interviewed several oncologists. I actually had one office get really mad at me when we asked questions while touring the chemo unit. They acused me of interviewing them. I just laughed and told them that actually I WAS interviewing them. Good thing I did. There were so many red flags. The doc was great but his nursing staff did not know the answer to some pretty basic things. Turns out they ended up giving a guy I know a womans bc chemo meds instead of his anal cancer meds. He ended up in the ER. This was after they told me they never make a mistake mixing the meds. I am soooo glad I followed my instincts and picked another office. Again, the doc was great but his staff was horrible.

Anyhoo, this is going to be very overwhelming, I won't lie. Treatment is not something that the doctors just pick out of a hat. Depending on your mom's situation they will look at the standard of care for her situation and make their recommendations on that. She will have to make some choices on her own but if you ask questions she will be able to make the right choices for herself.

My friend had really pretty long hair. She cut it short as it started falling out and then picked out her wig, it is easier to try on with shorter hair. The wig came in a few days later and she had the rest of her hair shaved off. It will be hard being in TX with a wig. There are really nice scarfs or even stylish caps that you can add fake bangs to so it doesn't have that "I have cancer" look to it.

Really keep in mind that with BC everyone's treatment is different. And with that everyone handles it differently.

Your wedding is going to be a joyous occassion. Yes, you will have to make some changes but hopefully you and your mom can find time to enjoy the planning and all the fun. I made a decision for myself when I was diagnosed a year ago today. I want to live to be 90, that is my goal. I can spend the next 45 years of my life worrying about whether I will make it to 90 and end up living to 90 but having had 45 horrible years getting there. Or I can just enjoy my life so when I get to 90 I can look back and know I had a great time.

aztec45

So Sorry
So sorry to hear about your Mother. I don't know what I would do if my Mother got cancer. For that reason, I am glad that God gave it to me and not her.

If you go to the American Cancer Society website, they have a list of questions you can ask the doctor about your cancer, cancer treatment, and what to expect. You can print it out. They also offer wigs, scarfs, hats, etc. You probably also have places in Houston that offer the same things and even will help your Mother adjust her makeup when she is on chemo. You know, you lose your color, your eyebrows and eyelashes. If you need some help or some phone numbers...let me know and I will help you.

Aztec45