My husband died tonight

24

Comments

  • adventurebob
    adventurebob Member Posts: 691
    Condolences
    So saddened and sorry to read this. Praying for you and your family all day today and the next. God be with you.
  • terryscarlett
    terryscarlett Member Posts: 143
    Debbie
    I am so saddened to hear this news. I wish there was something we could do or say to make it easier. God be with you and your family during this time of loss. Prayers are with you.
    So so sorry.
  • dennis318
    dennis318 Member Posts: 349 Member

    Debbie
    I am so saddened to hear this news. I wish there was something we could do or say to make it easier. God be with you and your family during this time of loss. Prayers are with you.
    So so sorry.

    I Lit A Candle
    Please keep us informed, our prayers and thoughts are here thinking of you and your family today, and the next days...I hate to hear of this. Take Care Deb. Dennis
  • miccmill
    miccmill Member Posts: 248
    dennis318 said:

    I Lit A Candle
    Please keep us informed, our prayers and thoughts are here thinking of you and your family today, and the next days...I hate to hear of this. Take Care Deb. Dennis

    Debbie
    I'm so very sorry to hear this. I have no words.

    Please know that you and your family are in my prayers. I pray for strength and peace for you all in the coming days and weeks.

    Lisa
  • Glenna M
    Glenna M Member Posts: 1,576
    Deepest Sympathy
    As many of the others have said, I'm at a loss for words to convey how I feel. This was such a traumatic loss for you and your children.

    I will pray for peace and healing for you and your children.

    My best to you and your family,
    Glenna
  • skipper85
    skipper85 Member Posts: 229
    I am so sad for you

    Debbie:

    I know this must be horrible for you. I lost my husband last Thursday and I thought he went fast (hospice for 11 days - he crashed all at once). So I know you are now just in a state of shock. Please get counseling for yourself and your children. This is a lot to handle. I'm glad your husband was spared the slow deterioration that many cancer patients experience but that doesn't make it any easier for you and the kids. Your husband is at peace now. It's time for you to grieve and heal.

    My prayers are with you and your children.

    (((HUGS & LOVE)))

    Skipper
  • Carolinagal
    Carolinagal Member Posts: 91
    So very sorry
    I am so sorry that you and your children had to experience that. You all are in my thoughts and prayers.
    Cindi
  • debbieg5
    debbieg5 Member Posts: 167
    junklady said:

    I am sorry to hear the sad news.
    I am so sorry to hear your sad news. I will be thinking of you and saying a prayer for you and your family. I know exactly how overwhelmed you feel. I have been there. My husband passed away Aug. 29th. He was a neck breather too and we had an episode of a rupture too, a few days before he died. It's all too shocking and you are numb with grief. All I can say is my heart goes out to you. I hope you have family and friends to comfort you. Please take care.

    Cyndi

    Cyndi....please PM me. I
    Cyndi....please PM me. I need to understand what happened.
  • Tanager75
    Tanager75 Member Posts: 89 Member
    Sorry for your loss
    ....



    Mark
  • mswijiknyc
    mswijiknyc Member Posts: 421
    No words
    My heart aches and grieves for what you and your family are going through. You're in my thoughts and prayers Miss Debbie. May God hold you and your children in the palm of His hand. May God help you find comfort.

    I'm so so sorry.
  • hope0310
    hope0310 Member Posts: 320

    No words
    My heart aches and grieves for what you and your family are going through. You're in my thoughts and prayers Miss Debbie. May God hold you and your children in the palm of His hand. May God help you find comfort.

    I'm so so sorry.

    I am so sorry to read this.
    I am so sorry to read this. Please know we are all here for you.
  • debbieg5
    debbieg5 Member Posts: 167
    tons of thanks
    It is so comforting to read all these thoughts and prayers from you all. I don't even know any of you, but know that you probably sympathize better than most of our friends and family because we are all in the same battle.

    I am hurting so bad today. The grief just keeps welling up unexpectedly and overflowing.
    there are so many things to take care of that it is mind boggling. I had tried to start planning funeral arrangements recently but never got a chance to discuss with Ken...didn't know this would happen so fast.

    The amazing thing is how many events came together at the last moment that seemed as if they had been planned with knowledge of what would happen the next day.
    On friday, a friend from church that is a hairdresser came over and cut his hair. I remember the thought running through my head that at least it would look nice if he died. Then the attorney came over and he signed his will on Friday afternoon. Later, his boss from work and 2 other co-workers came to our house to bring his retirement awards. He had made his retimrement official on Dec. 31 (although he had not been to work since early May). They had recorded the ceremony that they did at work the day before where they presented him with his awards. They also taped any co-worker that wanted to leave him a message. When they brought it to the house, they asked if we would put it in. Ken sat there and watched it with both smiles and tears. It gave me a whole new appreciation for how these people felt about him. I am so glad he had the chance to watch it that afternoon because we probably would never had done it otherwise. It was as if God let us get a few important details taken care of before he took him home.
    forgive me for all this babbling...I just don't know what else to do.
    debbie
  • Liz K.
    Liz K. Member Posts: 32
    debbieg5 said:

    tons of thanks
    It is so comforting to read all these thoughts and prayers from you all. I don't even know any of you, but know that you probably sympathize better than most of our friends and family because we are all in the same battle.

    I am hurting so bad today. The grief just keeps welling up unexpectedly and overflowing.
    there are so many things to take care of that it is mind boggling. I had tried to start planning funeral arrangements recently but never got a chance to discuss with Ken...didn't know this would happen so fast.

    The amazing thing is how many events came together at the last moment that seemed as if they had been planned with knowledge of what would happen the next day.
    On friday, a friend from church that is a hairdresser came over and cut his hair. I remember the thought running through my head that at least it would look nice if he died. Then the attorney came over and he signed his will on Friday afternoon. Later, his boss from work and 2 other co-workers came to our house to bring his retirement awards. He had made his retimrement official on Dec. 31 (although he had not been to work since early May). They had recorded the ceremony that they did at work the day before where they presented him with his awards. They also taped any co-worker that wanted to leave him a message. When they brought it to the house, they asked if we would put it in. Ken sat there and watched it with both smiles and tears. It gave me a whole new appreciation for how these people felt about him. I am so glad he had the chance to watch it that afternoon because we probably would never had done it otherwise. It was as if God let us get a few important details taken care of before he took him home.
    forgive me for all this babbling...I just don't know what else to do.
    debbie

    I'm so sorry
    I am sorry for your loss Debbie. I've just started this journey with my husband. I pray that you and your young family will find peace.
  • Agatha
    Agatha Member Posts: 62
    So sorry
    I'm so sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
  • Mikki332
    Mikki332 Member Posts: 49
    debbieg5 said:

    tons of thanks
    It is so comforting to read all these thoughts and prayers from you all. I don't even know any of you, but know that you probably sympathize better than most of our friends and family because we are all in the same battle.

    I am hurting so bad today. The grief just keeps welling up unexpectedly and overflowing.
    there are so many things to take care of that it is mind boggling. I had tried to start planning funeral arrangements recently but never got a chance to discuss with Ken...didn't know this would happen so fast.

    The amazing thing is how many events came together at the last moment that seemed as if they had been planned with knowledge of what would happen the next day.
    On friday, a friend from church that is a hairdresser came over and cut his hair. I remember the thought running through my head that at least it would look nice if he died. Then the attorney came over and he signed his will on Friday afternoon. Later, his boss from work and 2 other co-workers came to our house to bring his retirement awards. He had made his retimrement official on Dec. 31 (although he had not been to work since early May). They had recorded the ceremony that they did at work the day before where they presented him with his awards. They also taped any co-worker that wanted to leave him a message. When they brought it to the house, they asked if we would put it in. Ken sat there and watched it with both smiles and tears. It gave me a whole new appreciation for how these people felt about him. I am so glad he had the chance to watch it that afternoon because we probably would never had done it otherwise. It was as if God let us get a few important details taken care of before he took him home.
    forgive me for all this babbling...I just don't know what else to do.
    debbie

    God does work in mysterious ways.....
    .....and those visits from friends, etc, and the timing of the video that lifted his spirits is not coincidence.....God was and is looking out for you all. Treasure these moments in the midst of all else, and keep them close as a reminder that God is there for you all.....He always has been, and He always will be.
  • Pam M
    Pam M Member Posts: 2,196
    Like the Others
    Ache for your and your children. So very sorry that you are without your husband, and that your family lost him in such a traumatic way. Wish I had words sure to comfort, but don't. Sending strength your way.
  • vermontliz
    vermontliz Member Posts: 11
    debbieg5 said:

    tons of thanks
    It is so comforting to read all these thoughts and prayers from you all. I don't even know any of you, but know that you probably sympathize better than most of our friends and family because we are all in the same battle.

    I am hurting so bad today. The grief just keeps welling up unexpectedly and overflowing.
    there are so many things to take care of that it is mind boggling. I had tried to start planning funeral arrangements recently but never got a chance to discuss with Ken...didn't know this would happen so fast.

    The amazing thing is how many events came together at the last moment that seemed as if they had been planned with knowledge of what would happen the next day.
    On friday, a friend from church that is a hairdresser came over and cut his hair. I remember the thought running through my head that at least it would look nice if he died. Then the attorney came over and he signed his will on Friday afternoon. Later, his boss from work and 2 other co-workers came to our house to bring his retirement awards. He had made his retimrement official on Dec. 31 (although he had not been to work since early May). They had recorded the ceremony that they did at work the day before where they presented him with his awards. They also taped any co-worker that wanted to leave him a message. When they brought it to the house, they asked if we would put it in. Ken sat there and watched it with both smiles and tears. It gave me a whole new appreciation for how these people felt about him. I am so glad he had the chance to watch it that afternoon because we probably would never had done it otherwise. It was as if God let us get a few important details taken care of before he took him home.
    forgive me for all this babbling...I just don't know what else to do.
    debbie

    good to write
    I am so very sorry for your loss. It is a great gift that your friends, co-workers and your family clearly loved and appreciated your husband and let him know it. It sounds like you were a great support for him. I pray for you to shine your love, caring and energy to yourself and this will see you through. Liz. Keep writing, we are all here for you.
  • Kimba1505
    Kimba1505 Member Posts: 557
    Pam M said:

    Like the Others
    Ache for your and your children. So very sorry that you are without your husband, and that your family lost him in such a traumatic way. Wish I had words sure to comfort, but don't. Sending strength your way.

    So sad to hear.
    Debbie,
    I took a day from first reading your post, hoping I would find words to write. There are no good words, your story touches that place where we all have feared. It is amazing that those pieces fell into place just before your husband died. It does make us remember there are things beyond our understanding. May you be surrounded by those who love you as you move through this time.
    Kim
  • 3Mana
    3Mana Member Posts: 811
    So sorry Debbie
    Debbie,
    I've been on this CSN site since April. Although I usually go to the Lung cancer site, I also check other ones too. I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. I know exactly how you felt because I went through a similiar thing with my husband who had lung cancer. Only he had a complication from Avastin and hemorraged. He was fine the whole day and went upstairs about 10:00 that night. Less than 5 minutes later he pounded on the floor and when I ran upstairs he was also making the gurgling sounds and blood was pouring from his mouth and I think he was choking. He started to collapse and I grabbed him and laid him on the floor. I also was screaming and our kids are married so I was alone. Called 911 and they came and worked on him for 1/2 hour but it was too late. It was a rare side effect, and he had to get it. That was in March, so it's almost a year, but it's something I'll never forget.
    I've been on meds and seeing a counselor since April. It's helped alot and she said cause it was so traumatic it takes longer to get over. So think about getting some help.
    Please take care and keep in touch. "Carole"
  • debbieg5
    debbieg5 Member Posts: 167
    3Mana said:

    So sorry Debbie
    Debbie,
    I've been on this CSN site since April. Although I usually go to the Lung cancer site, I also check other ones too. I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. I know exactly how you felt because I went through a similiar thing with my husband who had lung cancer. Only he had a complication from Avastin and hemorraged. He was fine the whole day and went upstairs about 10:00 that night. Less than 5 minutes later he pounded on the floor and when I ran upstairs he was also making the gurgling sounds and blood was pouring from his mouth and I think he was choking. He started to collapse and I grabbed him and laid him on the floor. I also was screaming and our kids are married so I was alone. Called 911 and they came and worked on him for 1/2 hour but it was too late. It was a rare side effect, and he had to get it. That was in March, so it's almost a year, but it's something I'll never forget.
    I've been on meds and seeing a counselor since April. It's helped alot and she said cause it was so traumatic it takes longer to get over. So think about getting some help.
    Please take care and keep in touch. "Carole"

    images
    Thanks Carole. It sounds like you witnessed a very similar situation. In general, I'm a pretty tough, independent cookie. I like to take care of things myself and in my own way. I've had emotional troubles before but figured you just had to hang tough and get through them. But this is different. I don't know how to get those images out of my head. Every time I go into my bathroom I see him lying on the floor with blood everywhere. I imagine my daughter will deal with the same thing. (I noticed that I made a typo when I first posted...my daughter is 19). Today I found out that my 12 year old son saw some of it also. Nothing like we did 'cause he had the sense to run out of the room. I believe that I might try to talk to a counselor after the funeral is over. Perhaps bring the kids in too.
    Best wishes to you also.
    Debbie