My husband died tonight

Kimba1505

JUDYV5 said:

Smell
Smell is a very powerful memory. I find years past a smell can still trigger a positive memory of someone. I hope your days become easier. - Judy

Not whacko...wonderful!!
Embracing the smell of the one we love speaks to the bond between two human beings. The fact that you love his smell and gain comfort from the sheets speaks to the connection between the two of you.
One of my personal comforts is laying my head on Mark's chest and breathing in his scent that lingers there. When he was undergoing chemo and radiation that smell changed and I feared that it would not return. It did thankfully.
Strength sent your way as you move through these days,
Kim

debbieg5

Chefdaddy said:

I'm so very sorry
Dearest Debbie

I haven't been on here for some time until just recently. I am so very sorry for your loss and that you and your children had witnessed it in such a sad and dramatic way.
Last year after being diagnosed with throat cancer and just having undergone my third throat surgery, they released me from the hospital and after arriving home I violently hemorrhaged right in front of my two children, It was very traumatic for them, especially for the youngest who I had recently got custody of after removing him from a very bad environment. He was also very ill, fighting leukemia. Witnessing this visually traumatic episode brought on some unforeseen psychological issues. I mention this because it might be a consideration to maybe seek out some counselling for your kids, and maybe for yourself.
My son was already in heaving counselling at the time due to the violent abuse and trauma he had already been subjected to. I truly don't mean to stick my nose where it shouldn't be but both my kids have gone through a lot of trauma and the side affects can come on quickly or sneak out later.

Again, I truly am so very sorry for you and your children and your loss.

You and your children will be in our prayers.

Mike

noses
Thanks Mike....don't feel bad, you are not intruding. that is what this board is about...everyone tells what helped them get through.
I am going to seek counseling for myself and the kids. I used to pooh-pooh the idea of that and always thought I could handle things on my own. but this is beyond normal circumstances. I want to make sure that I am mentally in shape to be able to help my kids as best as I can. I am very fortunate that our kids have attended a private Christian school since they first started. the teachers and staff there are more like family and they have surrounded the kids with love. They just started this month to have counseling services available on site 2 days a week. I met one of the counselors this week and we are going to set up something for the boys. Another church friend that is a state trooper, has a friend that is a grief counselor for the officers. I think we are going to have her come over on Monday to meet my daughter. I have asked all of my daughter's friends to please stay in close contact with her after she returns to college and will be alone.
Hopefully, we can all make it through this without too many scars.
the best to you and your family also.
Debbie

Clearblue

ekdennie said:

so sorry
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I can not even begin to imagine what you have gone through. I read what you wrote about his pillows...if it makes you or your son happy, leave them be...there is no rush to move them. what a wonderful thought that you can still smell that smell that made him him. You have an amazing strength, I can feel it when I read your posts. I pray that no one will push you to grieve the way they feel is best...everyone grieves in their own way at their own pace. You and your children are in my thoughts and prayers. sending you and your children GIANT HUGS!

so absolutely SHOCKED
Debbie, i am so absolutely shocked.
I have been so busy with my own stuff, that i had a draft letter in my draft folder to you for three weeks.
Prayer for you and your family daily

for now...
Clear

Ron49

Hi, this is Robyn, Rons
Hi, this is Robyn, Rons caregiver. Your story is so incredibly sad and I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Ron has just been diagnosed in December and we don't yet know where the source of the cancer is. I am scared to death. I will keep you and your children in my prayers. I will pray you have strength through this very difficult time and the memories that live with you are those when you had health and happiness.

Robyn

Dragons7-7-2010

Thoughts and prayers go with you.
So sorry for your loss, words cannot express. Thoughts and prayers go with you and your children. I will pray for your family that you know what to do to cope may God be with you at this difficult time. Know that many are here to support you in your grief.