In-laws for the holidays and their so-special remarks...

DrMary said:

But he still has his hair, right?
My mother-in-law came for Thanksgiving - when I picked her up at the station, she braced herself and asked the question she said she'd been afraid to ask all along (you can imagine what went through my mind: "Is he going to live?" "Are you still having sex?" etc.).

None of the above; she asked, "how much hair did he lose?" She wanted to be prepared in case he was totally bald. "No, ma, he didn't lose any hair - he lost over 30 pounds in 3 weeks and almost died of an allergic reaction, but the hair's just fine."

She is not a shallow person - sometimes it's just easier to focus on the trivial things than to think about the serious stuff.

Comments
Yet more to add to the list. My parents had company over the weekend so I was up there a fair bit. My 'new' new normal addition seems to be this dry tickle in my throat that gets me to coughing and then makes my right eye tear like mad. Any way this person was a smoker and my parents kept telling him it was ok to smoke in the house. Uhm no. It's not. Thanks. So that made me cough even more cause the house was smelling like smoke. We played a couple games of scrabble and when I was coughing the guest said, "will you stop that?". I looked at him and said , nope. Probably not.

Yesterday my step mom heard from said guest and she said, "he told me to tell you, cough, cough, cough."
Was that supposed to be funny??? I didn't think so. Maybe I'm missing something.

sweetblood22 said:

Comments
Yet more to add to the list. My parents had company over the weekend so I was up there a fair bit. My 'new' new normal addition seems to be this dry tickle in my throat that gets me to coughing and then makes my right eye tear like mad. Any way this person was a smoker and my parents kept telling him it was ok to smoke in the house. Uhm no. It's not. Thanks. So that made me cough even more cause the house was smelling like smoke. We played a couple games of scrabble and when I was coughing the guest said, "will you stop that?". I looked at him and said , nope. Probably not.

Yesterday my step mom heard from said guest and she said, "he told me to tell you, cough, cough, cough."
Was that supposed to be funny??? I didn't think so. Maybe I'm missing something.

So Funny
Sweet you are so funny. I must say the my family did not get any comments from other family members this holiday because we did not see any of them. My Aunt never once offered to fix Thanksgiving dinner and we did not offer. My neighbors were so nice they cooked dinner and made sure everything was something easy for my dad to get down.

I can not believe the comments some people make. They are so clueless at times.

Kathy

ekdennie said:

I understand
kingcole,
yeah, it sucks when people think it is okay to joke about something that is still so personal and new. there is nothing you can do to change how you sound right now. you still need time to adjust and those jokes can hurt. It hurts when people don't understand me or when I sound like a yippy dog when I hiccup and those that make fun of it are trying to make light of something tough...but they don't understand that until we joke about it first...it isn't time yet. I think sometimes the sad eyes hurt in a deeper way. people just don't seem to get it that those same looks would devastate them if they were the ones with cancer, or who had undergone treatment. I also love (not) when people assume that radiation is a cake walk. no part of cancer treatment is easy.
stay strong. you are in my thoughts. hugs, prayers, and love.
elizabeth

New comment to share
New comment to share by my sister again. We were discussing by phone how her company is downsizing and she may have to move from a very desirable area of California to a not desirable at all area of California. She said well at least I don't have to have radiation. So this to me means my life is so much worse than hers right now, that my cancer is making hers look so much better. Which is ok I understand perspective, but I don't need to hear how crappy my life is right now, I know, I'm living it! Radiation does suck, cancer sucks, this whole crappy business sucks, but please don't tell me how much better your life is right now than mine, I know!

oldcamper said:

gravey
lots of gravey, I have gotten about everthing down with the help of gravey.

Gravy
I wish that worked for me. Tastes too dang salty and burns my tongue.

fisrpotpe said:

My Family
Went home for the first Thanksgiving post treatment and surgery, while eating very very slowly all the others were done so they got up and picked everything up while I continued to eat very little very slowly and my wife and two children sat with me and nobody else cared. It was not what they said it is what they did with no respect. 14 years later I have not gone back during thanksgiving.

Only one left at the table.
I think we can all identify with that. Everyone gulps their food down in five minutes and starts getting up pulling stuff off the table and saying, "Are you done with this? How bout this?" Grr. Don't know if I'm done yet cause I only got down four bites of food so far, thanks. Makes me wonder why they wanted me up there in the first place if they are going to eat in five minutes and run away from the table. It's too stressful for me and then I don't get enough to eat. I'm left trying to eat my food circled by a pack of dogs two of which weigh twice what I weigh and are in my face trying to bully me. I suppose I will continue to go for holidays, but me and Nizzy just eat alone everyday now. At least that way I know I will get enough food in me and also not be stared at whilst trying to eat.

DrMary said:

Another one for the "brochure"
You know - the brochure you'd like to hand everyone who wants to know how to behave around you?

"I eat slowly. I'd really appreciate it if you'd stay at the table when you are done and entertain me with upbeat news, funny stories and cheerful gossip to take my mind off the chore of eating. You get extra points for saying things that I can respond to with grunts, head shakes/nods or raised eyebrows."

Brochure!
I love it! Can we get a big button to wear with that on it! Awesome. Lol