If I didn't have kids . . .

Don't give up, Linda
Keep searching, there must be something else they can try...

...it's a wonderful life
I know it's easy for me to say, Linda. For one thing, I've never had cancer (as best I know); for another thing, I'm a guy. But you have more than three - way more than three - reasons to keep up the fight.

Ever since I left your doctor's waiting room and broke your news to Moopy, we have been talking about how bravely you have been handling the crap that life has given you. We know it comes with a big effort. Moopy even has a good idea of how big an effort it takes. But we also know the will to fight back hard - the will to really LIVE - is not something you have to conjure up. You have it, Linda. In spades. It's so obvious that even a guy can see it.

A couple of weeks ago I was sitting in the oncology waiting room Moopy was having some blood drawn. I started talking to this retired couple. I assumed the guy was the patient - but when the nurse called HER in, he and I had quite a conversation. Lucy (that was her name, either that or something else) was five years out from her colon cancer and in her second year of being treated for liver mets. To see her laugh, and tell tall tales, and talk a mile a minute on her cell phone to everyone she knew, nobody would ever have guessed she has been on Tykerb and Xeloda for more than a year.

I'm not trying to say that you should really be charging around the house yelling RAWR! at your daughters. But there definitely is a life after mets, and I know this because I met a woman who is having one. A wonderful life. Again, I realize it comes with a big effort. But you, Linda, are precisely the sort to make that effort. It comes to you naturally. Yours will not be an easy race to run - that much is clear. But the Moopster and I know what kind of person you are. And we're both betting on you to win.

God Bless!
Joe

Please don't give up...this
Please don't give up...this is a rough journey but you are stronger than you think. I also am stage 4 with mets to liver and bones. I was diagnosed in July 2008 and sometimes i feel like you, "is this worth it"? I have a 19 year old daughter who also gives me a lot of grief,
she just never gives up! i pray that i can handle this, I also am in treatment for the rest of my life. There are other woman who feel like you..tired and sad. Take care

ppurdin said:

Linda please don,t give up.
o I am sorry to hear things are not going well for you.I have two grown children that can not be in the same room together long without bickering.I told them one day,its not about who,s right and who is wrong.I want it stopped.i won,t put up with it.They can argue somewhere eles not around me.We have enough to deal with without the bickering.They should respect you more.God Bless you.Love and Prayers.(Pat).

Linda
What Aortus said plus everyone else in here. You are one in a million, you are better than this and you will be telling somebody else this in 10 years and think of me... the daft sod! Huge hugs to you Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

What if...
What if 'playing the cancer card' gets the prefrontal lobe (the last part of the human brain to mature) of your daughters young brains to have a growth spurt into thinking beyond themselves? What if they realize that there isn't anything that is more important than your beating down the cancer beast? What if they realize that their fights are over petty, unsubstantial things? What if you shocked them into a better perspective on life? !! You go, Linda!!
~~Connie~~

roseann4 said:

Hi Linda,
You wouldn't be human if you didn't get down over disappointing news. However, your battle is far from over and I know you can live a full life. I have a friend who has been stage IV for 7 years. She is an RN and she teaches yoga! She has had setbacks along the way but they always have found a new protocol that works for quite some time while. Every year she lives is one more year for them to come up with something new. Let yourself feel down for today but please don't let a disappointment take away your hope. If the sadness lasts more than 2 weeks, let your doctors know. Chemo can cause depression and that is also treatable.

Most important of all is to love yourself. Do something nice for yourself like getting a peticure or getting your hair done. Life doesn't need to be all about the cancer.

Roseann

Hi Linda, I also would have
Hi Linda, I also would have to agree with Joe. I have to believe for everyday we survive, that there is hope. Please try and continue to fight, we are here for you every step of the way. With love,
Kathy

fauxma said:

Linda,
I cannot add anything
Linda,
I cannot add anything to all of the wonderful things that have been said, except that you are important to so many and you are a fighter. You haven't battled this long and hard to give up. And we are here for you. My heart, my prayers and my love is sent to you.
Stef

I cant add anything either
I cant add anything either except to stay we are with you and keep fighting!!!

Moopy23 said:

Courage and Grace
Linda, everyone has given true and profound reasons for you to keep fighting. I don't have any new ones. I just wanted to say: your being tired and sad, and thinking "why bother? I have felt the same.

It feels, to me, like a crushing burden on my heart. I have not been diagnosed with mets, but I am at very high risk. Maybe it will help to know you are not alone in your feelings. I just hope I could find within myself a portion of the quiet courage and grace you have in abundance.

Linda, life is a gift is the
Linda, life is a gift is the way I look at it. If your children give you the strength to go on, that is great, but, I would hope that you would also want to go on for yourself. I know so many women that just wanted to give up, women that had fought bc for years, and, they were so glad now that they hung in there as there life has been way more than just fighting cancer. I hope and pray that you find reasons, and, I put the S on there, meaning more than one to continue fighting.

Leeza

LC815 said:

Thanks everyone.
I am feeling a tiny bit better today. Tears are behind my eyes, not yet on my face. You all are right I need to stay connected and find reasons to fight. Dear BF made me see that I need to have people around me -- not just my kids (who can be darling and decorated for me yesterday), but friends, too. Yesterday, I took my last Ativan and went to a friend's house to watch the football game (well, I didn't really watch, I just chatted). It was good to have a little goal of showering, dressing and going out. Today's goal: get through the disgusting barium and have a CT scan. I have no idea when I'll get the results, this being Christmas week. Since I know tumor markers are up, I don't think I'll have much of a surprise. Something's growing in there. I hope it's just the two little liver mets and not a whole lot of anything else.

Peace,
Linda

Linda
It is good to read that you feel better and that you got out for awhile. I found that when I did something, anything rather than just sitting at home, it got my mind off of my bc and I had fun. My husband always encouraged me to go see my friends and even though I didnt' want to, I finally gave in and it worked. I wondered if you are on an antidepressant. I don't know if that would help, but, you need to let your oncologist know that you are feeling like this. We are here to help you Linda!

Hugs, Diane ♥