Farrah's story question ...

rjjj said:

It was on Dateline tonight..
How she was took off alot of her meds so she could be coherant enough to watch it with her loved ones, she took alot of pride in this documentary.. and i think anyone who brings our cancer plight to the media and to Cancer Awareness, should be applauded. I admire her courage
hugs, Jackie

CR1954 said:

Eh, never mind....
I don't want to watch it.

All during chemo & rads, that's all I focused on. Getting through treatment.
Now that I am just getting Herceptin, my focus has turned to...I'm just sitting here waiting for it to come back. I know it will be back. Others are long term survivors, but not me.

If there was a group Ya Ya Sisterhood of The Sissy Pants...I would join.

So, I don't think I will watch it.

CR

RE said:

Hmmm
You know CR it may and it may not come back, but you have worked so hard for the right to live and to enjoy living. I myself have fought it three times, who knows it may even come back someday. If it does I plan to strap on my fightin boots and startfighting this cell hating beast. You my friend belong to our sisterhood, the BC Survivors Sisterhood. Remember there are many women on this board who have lived long after their dx there is no reason why you too cannot be amongst them.



HUGS,

RE

Moopy23 said:

CR
I also get those morbid moments, Cindy. I just don't feel like a lucky person, you know? Jackie's and Re's comments here, and Susan's in the thread Farrah Fawcett, are so encouraging. Thank YOU for expressing something I have felt, maybe we all have felt. That is what makes this place so comforting and safe.

Yep, from the looks of that pup, you need to be around a long time! Please let us know about the puppy search and results. Of course, pics will be needed,too.

RE said:

scary thoughts
You are right Moopy and CR I myself get those thoughts. I actually wrote a thread on it in the emotions board way back in Dec I think. Sometimes I will be enjoying myself and Colin will talk about the future we have planned to travel and that nasty little voice will creep up and say "if I am still here" or it sometimes say's "better hurry up and do those things while I am still here". I do my best to push those thoughts to the back of my mind so they do not destroy me. I learned this from my Mom who was my inspiration. She battled cancer for 26 years years with many ups and downs. I watched as she struggled with her mortality. What I saw was a woman who after a bad patch always managed to find the positive and the good in life. She herself helped others while she was yet suffering. She laughed heartily and often, she did not let cancer destroy or define who she was. I know it is not easy because those of us who have had cancer hear our clock ticking much louder than those who have never been had to struggle with a life threatening illness. In no way is it my intention to lessesn or dismiss how you ladies feel as I too sometimes feel the same. I only wish to encourage you, to help you if I can to see that life can go on after cancer and that it can be good.

Big hugs,

RE

mimivac said:

Feeling unlucky
CR, Moopy, RE and others, I think this must be a very common feeling. I have it, too, and I have heard others express the same sentiment. I think once this disease hits us, we feel unlucky in a sense. Why did I fall into this statistic? We lose trust in our bodies and health for a time. So, I think it only makes sense to feel that we will not be one of the "lucky" survivors. It is natural, also, I think to feel that our situation is somehow worse than others -- that others may survive, but not us. When I am feeling dismal, I always think that I "know" that I will not be one of the ones to survive. Survivorship is for other people, luckier and better than I am. But those moments are not the majority, thank goodness. Because with modern medicine, the odds are on OUR side, ladies. CR you are already surviving and you will continue to do so. Just like Moopy, RE and me. It helps to do good things for yourself. For instance, whenever I eat a good diet to take a cycling class at the gym, I think "I'm doing my part to survive, and I know I will." This is a definite boost and helps keep the other thoughts at bay for longer.

Mimi

ritazimm said:

Wow, thanks!
Thanks CR, Mimi, RE and Moopy. I have only told my husband, mother and best friend that in my heart, I think that the cancer will return. I don't think of this as having negative thoughts, just my personal feelings. I don't live as though - poor me, my cancer is going to return - I just try to live as though I need to enjoy every aspect of life. The good parts are much more enjoyable and in the bad crap I try to think about how great it makes the good stuff feel. But, part of me wonders if this feeling is being 'morbid' or 'negative' and if I am different from others that are survivors? Does everyone think this? Am I different by thinking that it will come back? I don't know, but it is the way I feel, so thanks for letting me know that I am not the only one that gets these feelings. Mostly, they don't really scare me but I do have my moments where I am afraid of how I will handle it if it does return. I also think that for me, these thoughts are part of my self-protection mechanism. I was thrown so very off guard by the diagnosis (even though I shouldn't have been since I have a huge family history but negative BRCA 1 & 2) and I don't ever want to be that unprepared for anything else in my life. I am a planner and I definitely feel the need to have a plan, just in case, so I cannot live under the assumption that it will never return. Maybe this is negative thinking but it is my method of surviving.

Thanks again for bringing this out in the open even though we don't really like to talk/think about it!

God bless!
Rita

tasha_111 said:

Susan
I didn't see it or hear it. But it just doesn't seem right. Why put someone through extra suffering needlessly? Unless they are....well, cummon, you know....

phoenixrising said:

I think she means "common
I think she means "common folk". Right Tasha? You know, where you don't get treated the same as someone in a higher class. Hope that's right. Help me out Tasha.

Moopy23 said:

A Plan is Good
Rita, I don't think your approach is negative at all. If you have planned, then you are more prepared and ready to fight again if you have to. God willing, that will never happen. But I agree with you that having a plan, thinking about one just in case, is survival behavior.

I am not as strong as you and can't think of the possibility without the despair. But I would like to have your attitude, which is positive, not negative at all.