Farrah's story question ...
Comments
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Thanks Jackierjjj said:It was on Dateline tonight..
How she was took off alot of her meds so she could be coherant enough to watch it with her loved ones, she took alot of pride in this documentary.. and i think anyone who brings our cancer plight to the media and to Cancer Awareness, should be applauded. I admire her courage
hugs, Jackie
I'll keep watch for it.0 -
I thought the same thing but
I thought the same thing but i came up with the thought that maybe she chose not to have one. It's actually up to the patient if they want a port or not. I know my dr asked me if i wanted one. I had a choice and i chose to have one. Maybe it was that way with Farrah.
God bless her!
Babe0 -
Dearest CRCR1954 said:Eh, never mind....
I don't want to watch it.
All during chemo & rads, that's all I focused on. Getting through treatment.
Now that I am just getting Herceptin, my focus has turned to...I'm just sitting here waiting for it to come back. I know it will be back. Others are long term survivors, but not me.
If there was a group Ya Ya Sisterhood of The Sissy Pants...I would join.
So, I don't think I will watch it.
CR
I read over your post at least 3 times. I am now only on Herceptin... and focus on healthy, BUT!! we so have to face this fear, look it in the eye and say " I will beat your ****!! PLEASE do not just sit and wait for the God-awful demon to come, Ignorance is bliss.. and we do not want to know how many days are numbered for us or for our loved ones, each of us could die tomorrow of any none-related cause... our hubbies, our children, could all perish before we have a chance to say Jack-spratt!! But... we will strive on! and please don't ever give up. I think (although I'm not one quite yet (but will be) that survivors hold hope and love close in their hearts and a belief that beyond all odds we will survive and I KNOW YOU WILL TOO!! I love your sweet spirit but hun, we need to fight!
Your sister, Jackie0 -
HmmmCR1954 said:Eh, never mind....
I don't want to watch it.
All during chemo & rads, that's all I focused on. Getting through treatment.
Now that I am just getting Herceptin, my focus has turned to...I'm just sitting here waiting for it to come back. I know it will be back. Others are long term survivors, but not me.
If there was a group Ya Ya Sisterhood of The Sissy Pants...I would join.
So, I don't think I will watch it.
CR
You know CR it may and it may not come back, but you have worked so hard for the right to live and to enjoy living. I myself have fought it three times, who knows it may even come back someday. If it does I plan to strap on my fightin boots and startfighting this cell hating beast. You my friend belong to our sisterhood, the BC Survivors Sisterhood. Remember there are many women on this board who have lived long after their dx there is no reason why you too cannot be amongst them.
HUGS,
RE0 -
Jackie & RE...RE said:Hmmm
You know CR it may and it may not come back, but you have worked so hard for the right to live and to enjoy living. I myself have fought it three times, who knows it may even come back someday. If it does I plan to strap on my fightin boots and startfighting this cell hating beast. You my friend belong to our sisterhood, the BC Survivors Sisterhood. Remember there are many women on this board who have lived long after their dx there is no reason why you too cannot be amongst them.
HUGS,
RE
I know, you are absolutely right! I just get in these morbid "moods" at times.
Besides, I have to live for a long time yet, as we are looking for a new.....
to add to our "pack"!
I have to be around to love it!
CR0 -
CRCR1954 said:Jackie & RE...
I know, you are absolutely right! I just get in these morbid "moods" at times.
Besides, I have to live for a long time yet, as we are looking for a new.....
to add to our "pack"!
I have to be around to love it!
CR
I also get those morbid moments, Cindy. I just don't feel like a lucky person, you know? Jackie's and Re's comments here, and Susan's in the thread Farrah Fawcett, are so encouraging. Thank YOU for expressing something I have felt, maybe we all have felt. That is what makes this place so comforting and safe.
Yep, from the looks of that pup, you need to be around a long time! Please let us know about the puppy search and results. Of course, pics will be needed,too.0 -
scary thoughtsMoopy23 said:CR
I also get those morbid moments, Cindy. I just don't feel like a lucky person, you know? Jackie's and Re's comments here, and Susan's in the thread Farrah Fawcett, are so encouraging. Thank YOU for expressing something I have felt, maybe we all have felt. That is what makes this place so comforting and safe.
Yep, from the looks of that pup, you need to be around a long time! Please let us know about the puppy search and results. Of course, pics will be needed,too.
You are right Moopy and CR I myself get those thoughts. I actually wrote a thread on it in the emotions board way back in Dec I think. Sometimes I will be enjoying myself and Colin will talk about the future we have planned to travel and that nasty little voice will creep up and say "if I am still here" or it sometimes say's "better hurry up and do those things while I am still here". I do my best to push those thoughts to the back of my mind so they do not destroy me. I learned this from my Mom who was my inspiration. She battled cancer for 26 years years with many ups and downs. I watched as she struggled with her mortality. What I saw was a woman who after a bad patch always managed to find the positive and the good in life. She herself helped others while she was yet suffering. She laughed heartily and often, she did not let cancer destroy or define who she was. I know it is not easy because those of us who have had cancer hear our clock ticking much louder than those who have never been had to struggle with a life threatening illness. In no way is it my intention to lessesn or dismiss how you ladies feel as I too sometimes feel the same. I only wish to encourage you, to help you if I can to see that life can go on after cancer and that it can be good.
Big hugs,
RE0 -
Feeling unluckyCR1954 said:Eh, never mind....
I don't want to watch it.
All during chemo & rads, that's all I focused on. Getting through treatment.
Now that I am just getting Herceptin, my focus has turned to...I'm just sitting here waiting for it to come back. I know it will be back. Others are long term survivors, but not me.
If there was a group Ya Ya Sisterhood of The Sissy Pants...I would join.
So, I don't think I will watch it.
CR
CR, Moopy, RE and others, I think this must be a very common feeling. I have it, too, and I have heard others express the same sentiment. I think once this disease hits us, we feel unlucky in a sense. Why did I fall into this statistic? We lose trust in our bodies and health for a time. So, I think it only makes sense to feel that we will not be one of the "lucky" survivors. It is natural, also, I think to feel that our situation is somehow worse than others -- that others may survive, but not us. When I am feeling dismal, I always think that I "know" that I will not be one of the ones to survive. Survivorship is for other people, luckier and better than I am. But those moments are not the majority, thank goodness. Because with modern medicine, the odds are on OUR side, ladies. CR you are already surviving and you will continue to do so. Just like Moopy, RE and me. It helps to do good things for yourself. For instance, whenever I eat a good diet to take a cycling class at the gym, I think "I'm doing my part to survive, and I know I will." This is a definite boost and helps keep the other thoughts at bay for longer.
Mimi0 -
Like your Mom, RERE said:scary thoughts
You are right Moopy and CR I myself get those thoughts. I actually wrote a thread on it in the emotions board way back in Dec I think. Sometimes I will be enjoying myself and Colin will talk about the future we have planned to travel and that nasty little voice will creep up and say "if I am still here" or it sometimes say's "better hurry up and do those things while I am still here". I do my best to push those thoughts to the back of my mind so they do not destroy me. I learned this from my Mom who was my inspiration. She battled cancer for 26 years years with many ups and downs. I watched as she struggled with her mortality. What I saw was a woman who after a bad patch always managed to find the positive and the good in life. She herself helped others while she was yet suffering. She laughed heartily and often, she did not let cancer destroy or define who she was. I know it is not easy because those of us who have had cancer hear our clock ticking much louder than those who have never been had to struggle with a life threatening illness. In no way is it my intention to lessesn or dismiss how you ladies feel as I too sometimes feel the same. I only wish to encourage you, to help you if I can to see that life can go on after cancer and that it can be good.
Big hugs,
RE
Re, what you saw in your mother is what we see in you. Never have you lessened or dismissed anything we have felt. What you do, always, is just what you intend: you encourage us, you help us see that there is life, and a joyous one at that, after cancer. Thank you for being Re--and for being like your wonderful mom.0 -
Wow, you all....mimivac said:Feeling unlucky
CR, Moopy, RE and others, I think this must be a very common feeling. I have it, too, and I have heard others express the same sentiment. I think once this disease hits us, we feel unlucky in a sense. Why did I fall into this statistic? We lose trust in our bodies and health for a time. So, I think it only makes sense to feel that we will not be one of the "lucky" survivors. It is natural, also, I think to feel that our situation is somehow worse than others -- that others may survive, but not us. When I am feeling dismal, I always think that I "know" that I will not be one of the ones to survive. Survivorship is for other people, luckier and better than I am. But those moments are not the majority, thank goodness. Because with modern medicine, the odds are on OUR side, ladies. CR you are already surviving and you will continue to do so. Just like Moopy, RE and me. It helps to do good things for yourself. For instance, whenever I eat a good diet to take a cycling class at the gym, I think "I'm doing my part to survive, and I know I will." This is a definite boost and helps keep the other thoughts at bay for longer.
Mimi
You all expressed exactly how I have been feeling! I can forget all about cancer and everything to do with it, and then just out of the blue, I think...I won't be here much longer. Then I get down of course and that's ALL I think about.
I snap out of it and pull myself up again, but after a few days, I'm thinking the morbid thoughts again.
Just to know that it's not uncommon to get those feelings, and that I don't have to rush off to an analyst is a relief. I try, and am able to stay upbeat and positive, but geez, sometimes "I'm not going to make it" pops into my head from out of nowhere.
But this time, it came from looking at my path report the other day. All of the "aggressive", "not well differentiated", "comedo-type", and on and on got me down again.
I know that I can fight just as well as anyone! But it's still a relief to know that you all feel that way too sometimes.
CR0 -
Thanks, Mimimimivac said:Feeling unlucky
CR, Moopy, RE and others, I think this must be a very common feeling. I have it, too, and I have heard others express the same sentiment. I think once this disease hits us, we feel unlucky in a sense. Why did I fall into this statistic? We lose trust in our bodies and health for a time. So, I think it only makes sense to feel that we will not be one of the "lucky" survivors. It is natural, also, I think to feel that our situation is somehow worse than others -- that others may survive, but not us. When I am feeling dismal, I always think that I "know" that I will not be one of the ones to survive. Survivorship is for other people, luckier and better than I am. But those moments are not the majority, thank goodness. Because with modern medicine, the odds are on OUR side, ladies. CR you are already surviving and you will continue to do so. Just like Moopy, RE and me. It helps to do good things for yourself. For instance, whenever I eat a good diet to take a cycling class at the gym, I think "I'm doing my part to survive, and I know I will." This is a definite boost and helps keep the other thoughts at bay for longer.
Mimi
Thank you, Mimi, for your thoughtful message. You considered the sense of being unlucky and help explain it in a way that rings true. Your post is reassuring and encouraging. I really appreciate your contributions to this board.0 -
Wow, thanks!Moopy23 said:Thanks, Mimi
Thank you, Mimi, for your thoughtful message. You considered the sense of being unlucky and help explain it in a way that rings true. Your post is reassuring and encouraging. I really appreciate your contributions to this board.
Thanks CR, Mimi, RE and Moopy. I have only told my husband, mother and best friend that in my heart, I think that the cancer will return. I don't think of this as having negative thoughts, just my personal feelings. I don't live as though - poor me, my cancer is going to return - I just try to live as though I need to enjoy every aspect of life. The good parts are much more enjoyable and in the bad crap I try to think about how great it makes the good stuff feel. But, part of me wonders if this feeling is being 'morbid' or 'negative' and if I am different from others that are survivors? Does everyone think this? Am I different by thinking that it will come back? I don't know, but it is the way I feel, so thanks for letting me know that I am not the only one that gets these feelings. Mostly, they don't really scare me but I do have my moments where I am afraid of how I will handle it if it does return. I also think that for me, these thoughts are part of my self-protection mechanism. I was thrown so very off guard by the diagnosis (even though I shouldn't have been since I have a huge family history but negative BRCA 1 & 2) and I don't ever want to be that unprepared for anything else in my life. I am a planner and I definitely feel the need to have a plan, just in case, so I cannot live under the assumption that it will never return. Maybe this is negative thinking but it is my method of surviving.
Thanks again for bringing this out in the open even though we don't really like to talk/think about it!
God bless!
Rita0 -
A Plan is Goodritazimm said:Wow, thanks!
Thanks CR, Mimi, RE and Moopy. I have only told my husband, mother and best friend that in my heart, I think that the cancer will return. I don't think of this as having negative thoughts, just my personal feelings. I don't live as though - poor me, my cancer is going to return - I just try to live as though I need to enjoy every aspect of life. The good parts are much more enjoyable and in the bad crap I try to think about how great it makes the good stuff feel. But, part of me wonders if this feeling is being 'morbid' or 'negative' and if I am different from others that are survivors? Does everyone think this? Am I different by thinking that it will come back? I don't know, but it is the way I feel, so thanks for letting me know that I am not the only one that gets these feelings. Mostly, they don't really scare me but I do have my moments where I am afraid of how I will handle it if it does return. I also think that for me, these thoughts are part of my self-protection mechanism. I was thrown so very off guard by the diagnosis (even though I shouldn't have been since I have a huge family history but negative BRCA 1 & 2) and I don't ever want to be that unprepared for anything else in my life. I am a planner and I definitely feel the need to have a plan, just in case, so I cannot live under the assumption that it will never return. Maybe this is negative thinking but it is my method of surviving.
Thanks again for bringing this out in the open even though we don't really like to talk/think about it!
God bless!
Rita
Rita, I don't think your approach is negative at all. If you have planned, then you are more prepared and ready to fight again if you have to. God willing, that will never happen. But I agree with you that having a plan, thinking about one just in case, is survival behavior.
I am not as strong as you and can't think of the possibility without the despair. But I would like to have your attitude, which is positive, not negative at all.0 -
I don't get it still! WhatChristmas Girl said:Thanks, J...
OK, I getcha now. Thanks for the clarification, I do appreciate it. I thought, well... Since you're from England - maybe a comment on German medicine?, or something (please, no offense meant to the Germans)... I didn't see the program, either. But, it's my understanding she went to Germany for some sort of experimental treatment. Which is usually a "last resort" kind of option that only the very wealthy can afford (i.e., travel expenses, and insurance companies definitely do not cover those sorts of things). From USA media coverage in general, I believe the only thing that could possibly save her life at this point would be a true miracle.
Your instincts, J, are astounding.
Kind regards, Susan
I don't get it still! What was she saying?0 -
I think she means "commonEil4186 said:Unless they are you know,
Unless they are you know, what?????
I think she means "common folk". Right Tasha? You know, where you don't get treated the same as someone in a higher class. Hope that's right. Help me out Tasha.0 -
No, I think when J uses "cummon"...phoenixrising said:I think she means "common
I think she means "common folk". Right Tasha? You know, where you don't get treated the same as someone in a higher class. Hope that's right. Help me out Tasha.
... the rest of us might say, "come on." Although J must interpret for us, herself, of course.
While working some years ago in an "international" department of a huge corporation - I reported to an English man for many, many years. And, picked up a bit of the Brit lingo from him.
CALL OUT TO J: Please - for either confirmation of my explanations, or for further clarification. Thanks, as always.
Kind regards, Susan0 -
Hi, Eil...Eil4186 said:I don't get it still! What
I don't get it still! What was she saying?
So sorry - but, I was trying to word my post delicately. Julia didn't see nor hear the program (neither did I). But, I have knowledge via our American (and credible - NOT The National Enquirer!) news media. I believe that, from the various threads, J has grasped quite a lot about the current state of Farrah's illness.
First of all - none of us knows why she didn't have a port. She could very well have refused one, if it was offered or suggested. Because so many here who DID watch the program are wondering why she did NOT have a port, I must assume it wasn't addressed directly. Within another thread about the program - a poster mentioned that she initially refused chemo drugs that would have resulted in hair loss because her hair was so much a part of her identity. My guess, then, is that if she could refuse certain chemo drugs - she could've refused a port. I am certainly not being judgmental in any way. We all have to make many difficult and complicated choices for ourselves. And personally, I truly respect each individual patient's right to choose, or refuse. Cancer treatment - of any type - is not mandatory, for anyone.
Regarding Farrah Fawcett, and getting back to the confusion caused by J's post, I was trying to avoid the word: terminal. I think that is what J was referring to...
We fill the board with hope, support & encouragement. As we must, because that's really the main reason we're all here. Whether in need, or to give back.
Farrah's story is very, very sad. And, yes, it hurts.
Kind regards, Susan0 -
I think about it tooMoopy23 said:A Plan is Good
Rita, I don't think your approach is negative at all. If you have planned, then you are more prepared and ready to fight again if you have to. God willing, that will never happen. But I agree with you that having a plan, thinking about one just in case, is survival behavior.
I am not as strong as you and can't think of the possibility without the despair. But I would like to have your attitude, which is positive, not negative at all.
sometimes. I guess the thought is always somewhere in my brain about recurrance but I don't think about it all of the time. And it's not denial,I just get caught up in living and everything thats going on around me. It's something,sometimes I get in a funk and all I can think of is it possibly coming back,and then other times I don't think about it at all! A chemo nurse once told me that that's why we go in for checkups,it's not so your doctors can get a rush out of cupping a feel! It's because they want to be aware and be able to catch things if there's something going on.Which is paraphrasing what she told me!!
And yes,like everyone else has said,we all have our moments.0 -
Cute picture!Moopy23 said:A Plan is Good
Rita, I don't think your approach is negative at all. If you have planned, then you are more prepared and ready to fight again if you have to. God willing, that will never happen. But I agree with you that having a plan, thinking about one just in case, is survival behavior.
I am not as strong as you and can't think of the possibility without the despair. But I would like to have your attitude, which is positive, not negative at all.
Moopy,
Just wanted to say too,cute picture of you and Aortus! You guys are awesome!0
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