I thought I looked good ...

24

Comments

  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
    #22
    Teena
    I bet you looked MARVELOUS and the hot, young stud was overwhelmed with your beauty. Just accept it girlfriend!
  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member
    #23
    Jeanne D said:

    Teena
    I bet you looked MARVELOUS and the hot, young stud was overwhelmed with your beauty. Just accept it girlfriend!

    a LOT of breast cancer going around these days
    I've had the same experience when I tell people I have breast cancer. It's like ... "oh ... there's just so much of it now" ... or "I have so many friends who have that." Etc. As someone said ... it's like breast cancer is contagious.

    But ... my theory is ... the reason there are so many of us ... is that medical science has come so far in diagnosing the disease resulting in catching many, many more cases ... much, much earlier. It's not necessarily that there are more people with breast cancer ... it's just that more people are being diagnosed/tested/treated now. And that's a good thing. The sooner it's caught ... the better! Hopefully it won't be much longer until there is a total CURE.

    hugs.
    teena
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    #24
    What i hate
    is when they avert their eyes as it is rude to look at you. I am the kind who usually makes eye contact and smiles..or exchanges pleasantries. I have noticed that even when i try now people (ones i don't know) will look the other way or pretend to be busy with something else. This kinda hurts. Even before bc if i saw someone with a disability of any kind..i made sure to make eyecontact and smile. and if i see any bald woman i hug.
    love jackie
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #25
    We should give people the
    We should give people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes they do and say things and don't mean to be rude. Right after I was diagnosed I went to a party and the hostess introduced me to another lady who had breast cancer. As soon as she said it, I couldn't help myself-I looked! I wanted to know if I could tell. She looked fabulous. I was so new to breast cancer that I couldn't even think of any questions. Afterwards I felt real bad about looking. I don't know if she had reconstuction or if it was falsies but I couldn't tell. So here I am going aw-natural. I still feel bad about it though. I haven't caught anybody looking at me.
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #26
    cats_toy said:

    looking good
    well at least you ladies got a hug or a helping hand, I was walking through the store and this lady walked by me, grabbed her son and walked away backwards, keeping her eye on me the whole time, I looked at my husband and asked what was wrong, he said "you're bald". I forgot. Oh well, I still think I looked fabulous!
    Cat

    OH, I got those, too....
    But, I said (in my big-girl voice)...don't be frightened, I am winning my battle!!!! And it's my second in 6 months...so I KNOW it's beatable!!! (My usual line was 'I was supposed to be dead 6 months ago.....or, now, it's up to 4 years ago...lol!)

    Still, to this day, some people equate cancer with death. And figure that they can avoid it if they ignore it. So much sadder for them....WE all know that's it's just a battle to be WON!!!!!!!

    We cannot change the whole world, just our little piece...wish I could have been there, Cat, to hear the question the little boy asked out of earshot..."Why does that lady look different?" is pretty close to it....Mom's answer would have spoken volumes...

    I would hug you anywhere, my dear!!! And I think I will....

    Hugs, Kathi
  • cats_toy
    cats_toy Member Posts: 1,462 Member
    #27
    Marcia527 said:

    We should give people the
    We should give people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes they do and say things and don't mean to be rude. Right after I was diagnosed I went to a party and the hostess introduced me to another lady who had breast cancer. As soon as she said it, I couldn't help myself-I looked! I wanted to know if I could tell. She looked fabulous. I was so new to breast cancer that I couldn't even think of any questions. Afterwards I felt real bad about looking. I don't know if she had reconstuction or if it was falsies but I couldn't tell. So here I am going aw-natural. I still feel bad about it though. I haven't caught anybody looking at me.

    I would rather have the pointing than the "sad look"
    I told everyone while I was bald, you can walk by my window and laugh, point, make jokes, etc, but do NOT give me "the look" that makes you feel pitied. I sit at a window at work, so everyone who walks by sees me. I never minded as long as they were positive. I did have one of the guys introduce me to a tech who came in, and he was so nervous, he kind of blurted out "this is Vicki.....she has cancer". Quick thinking as I am, I said "I do? who said so? why wasn't I told?". and that made them both laugh. He apologized later, said he didn't know why he said that it just came out, so I felt sorry for him.
    Cat
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #28
    cats_toy said:

    I would rather have the pointing than the "sad look"
    I told everyone while I was bald, you can walk by my window and laugh, point, make jokes, etc, but do NOT give me "the look" that makes you feel pitied. I sit at a window at work, so everyone who walks by sees me. I never minded as long as they were positive. I did have one of the guys introduce me to a tech who came in, and he was so nervous, he kind of blurted out "this is Vicki.....she has cancer". Quick thinking as I am, I said "I do? who said so? why wasn't I told?". and that made them both laugh. He apologized later, said he didn't know why he said that it just came out, so I felt sorry for him.
    Cat

    Cat
    I have been dying to ask you this since I first saw your pic..Are you Canadian and was treated at Juravinski?..I met a lady that looked so much like you there and we shared a laugh and a joke every time, she was incredible...... Hugs Jxxxxxxx
  • cats_toy
    cats_toy Member Posts: 1,462 Member
    #29
    tasha_111 said:

    Cat
    I have been dying to ask you this since I first saw your pic..Are you Canadian and was treated at Juravinski?..I met a lady that looked so much like you there and we shared a laugh and a joke every time, she was incredible...... Hugs Jxxxxxxx

    Not from Canada
    Hey Tasha, I am a native Californian, So Cal all my life, but I did visit Canada a couple of times.....
    I first put the pic of our new kitten up, but my hubby said he likes this one. Go figure.
    Sounds like we would have shared jokes and laughs, maybe it was my spiritual twin!
    Cat
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    #30
    cats_toy said:

    I would rather have the pointing than the "sad look"
    I told everyone while I was bald, you can walk by my window and laugh, point, make jokes, etc, but do NOT give me "the look" that makes you feel pitied. I sit at a window at work, so everyone who walks by sees me. I never minded as long as they were positive. I did have one of the guys introduce me to a tech who came in, and he was so nervous, he kind of blurted out "this is Vicki.....she has cancer". Quick thinking as I am, I said "I do? who said so? why wasn't I told?". and that made them both laugh. He apologized later, said he didn't know why he said that it just came out, so I felt sorry for him.
    Cat

    The pity look
    Before I was diagnosed,I guess I looked at people with the pity look. I just wanted to say you poor soul,and give them a hug.
    But when I had lost my hair,I didn't even care what others thought. I knew that I had just as much right to be out in public than anyone else and I tried to act like that with confidence!
    I think maybe people are just unsure of how to act around us.Us cancer survivors want so much to say we're still human-it's just me!
    Cat,I so know what you're talking about.I was the one where if it wasn't Winter when I lost my hair,I would have gone bald. I was so freaking tired of feeling like I had to hide myself with a hat to leave my home! If I was outside doing yardwork,I went bald,or if I was at the cancer center. I even answered the door sometimes that way. You should be able to be you without having to worry what others are going to think!You know,if I ever need chemo again,that's what I'm going to do! The only time I'm going to wear a hat is when my head gets cold! And you ladies and men can hold me to it!!
    Be proud of your bald heads and your scars,you warrior men and women!
    Love,Patty
  • cats_toy
    cats_toy Member Posts: 1,462 Member
    #31
    outdoorgirl said:

    The pity look
    Before I was diagnosed,I guess I looked at people with the pity look. I just wanted to say you poor soul,and give them a hug.
    But when I had lost my hair,I didn't even care what others thought. I knew that I had just as much right to be out in public than anyone else and I tried to act like that with confidence!
    I think maybe people are just unsure of how to act around us.Us cancer survivors want so much to say we're still human-it's just me!
    Cat,I so know what you're talking about.I was the one where if it wasn't Winter when I lost my hair,I would have gone bald. I was so freaking tired of feeling like I had to hide myself with a hat to leave my home! If I was outside doing yardwork,I went bald,or if I was at the cancer center. I even answered the door sometimes that way. You should be able to be you without having to worry what others are going to think!You know,if I ever need chemo again,that's what I'm going to do! The only time I'm going to wear a hat is when my head gets cold! And you ladies and men can hold me to it!!
    Be proud of your bald heads and your scars,you warrior men and women!
    Love,Patty

    Outdoor girl...
    of course if your moniker says anything about you, you would be in the yard and everywhere else airing out the bald pate if the weather allowed! I would garden, drive (convertible, I DO live in SoCal), work, most everything bare headed. I would put on a hat or scarf if I was in air conditioning, my head was pretty sensitive to cold air. Hope and pray that you never need to have chemo again to find out OK?
    Cat
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    #32
    cats_toy said:

    Outdoor girl...
    of course if your moniker says anything about you, you would be in the yard and everywhere else airing out the bald pate if the weather allowed! I would garden, drive (convertible, I DO live in SoCal), work, most everything bare headed. I would put on a hat or scarf if I was in air conditioning, my head was pretty sensitive to cold air. Hope and pray that you never need to have chemo again to find out OK?
    Cat

    I'm not so much a gardening girl
    Cat,
    I'm not so much of a gardening girl,my attention span and motivation doesn't last too long for that! Mowing,pulling the occasional weed,and pruning is about as far as I go! But I do love the outdoors-hiking,walking,going bird watching with a birdwatcher friend of mine,etc. .Sometimes when I need to collect my thoughts,it's the best place to be.
    Yes,I too hope I don't have to go through it all again,but i have come away with the realization that if need be,hopefully I can make it through again!!
    I am so glad that you are not afraid to be you-bald head and all!! I know too that other bc survivors that are in the same spot as you will see you and know that they are fine too just the way they are!
    How are things going with you?
    Love,Patty
  • cats_toy
    cats_toy Member Posts: 1,462 Member
    #33
    outdoorgirl said:

    I'm not so much a gardening girl
    Cat,
    I'm not so much of a gardening girl,my attention span and motivation doesn't last too long for that! Mowing,pulling the occasional weed,and pruning is about as far as I go! But I do love the outdoors-hiking,walking,going bird watching with a birdwatcher friend of mine,etc. .Sometimes when I need to collect my thoughts,it's the best place to be.
    Yes,I too hope I don't have to go through it all again,but i have come away with the realization that if need be,hopefully I can make it through again!!
    I am so glad that you are not afraid to be you-bald head and all!! I know too that other bc survivors that are in the same spot as you will see you and know that they are fine too just the way they are!
    How are things going with you?
    Love,Patty

    I wore long earrings to mimic long hair!
    Patty, outdoors doing anything is great, love the birds myself, have a bunch of feeders in the yard and try getting different types to come by and visit.
    I am two years out of surgery (March 22, 2007), and have my 2nd consult for reconstruction scheduled for May 21. Didn't really care for the first doc, so I asked for another one. Wasn't sure I was going to do that, but figured I would at least get the consults, then make the decision.
    I know my Aunt has gone through chemo twice and says if it happens again, she won't do it, but we always find the strength when we need it don't we?
    Take care of yourself and have a great weekend!
    Cat
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    #34
    cats_toy said:

    I wore long earrings to mimic long hair!
    Patty, outdoors doing anything is great, love the birds myself, have a bunch of feeders in the yard and try getting different types to come by and visit.
    I am two years out of surgery (March 22, 2007), and have my 2nd consult for reconstruction scheduled for May 21. Didn't really care for the first doc, so I asked for another one. Wasn't sure I was going to do that, but figured I would at least get the consults, then make the decision.
    I know my Aunt has gone through chemo twice and says if it happens again, she won't do it, but we always find the strength when we need it don't we?
    Take care of yourself and have a great weekend!
    Cat

    2007
    your hair must be grown in by now.. could we see a pic..maybe in your expressions page. It would give me hope that mine too will grow back!! love ya
    jackie
  • tommaseena
    tommaseena Member Posts: 1,769
    #35
    rjjj said:

    2007
    your hair must be grown in by now.. could we see a pic..maybe in your expressions page. It would give me hope that mine too will grow back!! love ya
    jackie

    head covers
    I too only wear hat or bandanna when my head is cold. I said before my hair started falling out is "bald will be beautiful" and it is. Oh the only other time I wear something is when I bring Jake to school--I don't want any of the kids to be shocked--everyone in the school knows but I don't want anyone there to be uncomfortable. I think I'm really concerned that some of the kids might tease Jake and I don't want that for him because he has already gone through so much in his short life.

    Margo
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    #36
    tommaseena said:

    head covers
    I too only wear hat or bandanna when my head is cold. I said before my hair started falling out is "bald will be beautiful" and it is. Oh the only other time I wear something is when I bring Jake to school--I don't want any of the kids to be shocked--everyone in the school knows but I don't want anyone there to be uncomfortable. I think I'm really concerned that some of the kids might tease Jake and I don't want that for him because he has already gone through so much in his short life.

    Margo

    A couple of cute stories
    Margo,
    I very much understand what you're saying about wanting to be covered up when you drop off Jake. But I've got a couple of cute stories to tell you about kids and bald heads due to chemo! After I had lost my hair,my husband and I went to visit friends for the weekend. They have three kids and the parents had told them before I came about my being sick and losing my hair. I was at the point where I was tired of hiding myself,and because their parents had already told them,I asked my friend if it was okay to not wear a hat and she said sure. Anyways,I was standing in the kitchen talking to her,and her middle son came in and asked"What happened to your hair?". I said that I was sick,had to have some special medicine to get better,and it made my hair fall out! He said "okay",and that was that. My husband had later said that I probably ended up making their son feel like any medicine he took would make his hair fall out-but I don't think he felt that way. I think he just understood it for what it was-just like a child!
    I had brought a cap to wear that weekend with it being so cold. I was sitting on the couch next to their little daughter who had taken a liking to me. She liked my hat so much that she got one of her own,and we would take our hats off and put them back on-she thought it was funny! And they both liked rubbing my bald head!
    So after reading all of these comments,it seems like sometimes(not always) kids have an easier time accepting than others!!
    Love,Patty
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #37
    cats_toy said:

    Not from Canada
    Hey Tasha, I am a native Californian, So Cal all my life, but I did visit Canada a couple of times.....
    I first put the pic of our new kitten up, but my hubby said he likes this one. Go figure.
    Sounds like we would have shared jokes and laughs, maybe it was my spiritual twin!
    Cat

    So Cal here, too!
    Half way between L.A. and Palm Springs....You? Maybe we can have coffee!!!!!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • cats_toy
    cats_toy Member Posts: 1,462 Member
    #38
    KathiM said:

    So Cal here, too!
    Half way between L.A. and Palm Springs....You? Maybe we can have coffee!!!!!

    Hugs, Kathi

    so cal native
    Kathi,
    I live in San Dimas, just on the eastern outskirts of LA. how close is that to you?

    Cat
  • cats_toy
    cats_toy Member Posts: 1,462 Member
    #39
    rjjj said:

    2007
    your hair must be grown in by now.. could we see a pic..maybe in your expressions page. It would give me hope that mine too will grow back!! love ya
    jackie

    2007-2009
    yes my hair has grown back, I have had it cut three times now, decided (like a lot of people on this site) to keep it short. I will upload a pre and post chemo pic if I can find one good enough to share !!! still vain even after all this. I actually had such weirdness when the hair was growing back, I looked like an old man with male pattern baldness, the sides and back grew in before the top, talk about looking funny! Ha! But it has grown in on top, just a little thinner, no worries there, you will have your hair back in all its previous glory
    Cat
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #40
    cats_toy said:

    so cal native
    Kathi,
    I live in San Dimas, just on the eastern outskirts of LA. how close is that to you?

    Cat

    just down the street...
    Rancho Cucamonga is my 'business' home, Redlands my 'other' home, and Zwolle, The Netherlands my 'sometimes' home....I think Rancho is closest...lol...I have clients (computer consultant) in San Dimas...let's do coffee!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • cats_toy
    cats_toy Member Posts: 1,462 Member
    #41
    rjjj said:

    2007
    your hair must be grown in by now.. could we see a pic..maybe in your expressions page. It would give me hope that mine too will grow back!! love ya
    jackie

    found some pics
    Jackie,
    went to my other pc, forwarded a few pics and uploaded to the expression page. I was a natural blonde most of my life, but when I turned completely grey (about 35), I opted for darker hair, now am back to blonde. I have some others when it was growing back, first spiked, then curly. Everyone keeps telling me to go back to the spikey look, it was cool! Figured if I was brave enough again to cut it that short, I might. Take care
    Cat

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