Camul On top

Hi there,

Nice to hear from you. Now you can go ahead and be envious of Carlsbad -- beautiful today, 70 ish. Tomorrow is supposed to be 77. Hopefully your part of the world is warming up also.

Yes, anger and grief and learning curves. All part of being human. And not the feeling good part. I'm glad that the doctors are still trying to find combinations of drugs to help you feel more comfortable. 

Thanks for checking in. We're always here.  Always thinking about you. Always will.

xoxo

Victoria

camul said:

You guys are the best. My niece bought a beautiful home in south

Carlsbad up by the rec Center my sister is there again this weekend for her baby's 2nd birthday.  She has been down there probably 6 times already since the first of the year and she Has seen a lot of rain, same as northern ca, and my son was in San Diego Tuesday for a concert, it was clear but chilly.  They were there two weeks prior but the concert was postponed.  

It got to 78 here one day last week.  I slept and was so disappointed when I woke up and realized I missed it. 

The hospice Doctor and nurse were here today. I am going to try a lower dose of steroids and an anti depressant to see if that takes away some of the bone pain without the massive swelling.  She is hoping it will help with the head pressure, cramping and all the side effects from the pain meds.  I agreed to a lower dose, last one was 16 mg for months and got the Lymphodema in my legs, this is 1 mg  2 max. Said I was on too high of a dose of a short term steroid but it was long term,  hopefully this will be better. I refused bumping up to 250 - 300 mg of the Fentanyl patches, 200 is hard and now it is better at 48hr changes, 72 hrs was worn off and the withdrawyls would start.  She said a lot of this is from all of the radiation, however, the radiation has really kept me here longer and it helped with the pain. So....  every choice has consequence/ or with cancer, side effects,  I just have to learn how to deal with the chronic pains n and get the pain to a level where I can function.  I am so done with sleeping more than anything, and learn a healthy way to deal with the grieving, took about 15+ years for the anger to set in and it is another learning curve...  Vegas time (if I could sit long enough to get there).

Hugs you all, 

you inspire me and have to tell you how much it

means to see you all care.

Love Carol

 

Hello Carol! Im new to all this just had my sugery March 7, 2017 (sEE my "new to this "story on the breast cancer , taking Letrozole and about to start radiation soon.   HANG IN THERE ..AND TAKE IT A DAY AT A TIME AS YOU HAVE BEEN DOING..PRAYERS AND BLESSINGS TO YOU!     keep writing and talking we are all here FOR you!!

She texted pictures from the beach.  I was envious but happy for her.  Never thought she would go thru this, just keep hoping she does not hit iv!  i man sure she feels the same!  Hanging out with the ex tomorrow, should be interesting and hope he is in a good mood! Always a maybe. Lol

Sometimes those physical friends can't be there when you need them (or are awake) even though they really want to be.  Carol, as you know, someone is typically here and the time difference actually helps that.  Makes Florida not so far away or inconvenient.  I usually check the board daily, but sometimes not.  Thanks again, Sherry, for poking Carol and reminding her to check in with us as needed for whatever is needed.  Because we all do care.  Maybe we don't fully understand but sometimes it feels good to type out your frustrations, sort of like journaling, but with response!  Still and always keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.  Now please, Carol, keep checking in when it's convenient for you.

Suzanne

Although it has been rainy, spring is here.  The birds are chirping, the daffodils are blooming and some of the tuplips are getting ready to bloom soon.  Don't you just love the smells of spring?  This season gives us hope of new beginnings and rebirth in our spirits.  I wish you a blessed day full of sunshine and peacefulness. 

Hug,

Annie

Double Whammy said:

Cyberfriends

Sometimes those physical friends can't be there when you need them (or are awake) even though they really want to be.  Carol, as you know, someone is typically here and the time difference actually helps that.  Makes Florida not so far away or inconvenient.  I usually check the board daily, but sometimes not.  Thanks again, Sherry, for poking Carol and reminding her to check in with us as needed for whatever is needed.  Because we all do care.  Maybe we don't fully understand but sometimes it feels good to type out your frustrations, sort of like journaling, but with response!  Still and always keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.  Now please, Carol, keep checking in when it's convenient for you.

 

Suzanne

I have been having a hard time figuring out this depression.  My pain dr, now my hospice Dr. has explained it goes with the constant bone/chest pain.   So we are working on really managing the pain.  I was pulling back from everyone as the only way it is bearable is when I am sleeping.  Now we have doubled the meds but after 2 weeks, still no relief.  So she is looking into alternatives, had Rieke this week and seeing a cancer therapist.  She understands.  I was so tired of people telling me what I needed to do to get rid of the pain. Andd as usualit was those who have never experienced it. My doctors are baffled.  They didn't think Christmas was going to be part of my time here. I have heard 3-6  months for 7 years now so...  

You guys are so strong together.  I love watching you support each other but am wishing things were a million percent different for you both.

Hugs to you guys.

Clementine

tufi000 said:

TY Clem

Your comment is totally appreciated and has already been thoroughly digested.

One thing though, is what we are doing here really out of strenghth? I always got more of a feeling that it is simply deciding to open your eyes each morning.  I don't know if that is really strenghth or just the most convenient option or my laziness. It can even be rationalized to following the way of the TAO.  It's all spin.

But thanks again

To a bystander it comes off as you guys rooting each other despite the most crappy of circumstances.  Anyway, for what it is worth, it is inspiring to others so maybe that is something to hang your hats on even if it feels like you are just doing what you must to get through the day.

Hugs,

Clem