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nice to hear from you
Hi there,
Nice to hear from you. Now you can go ahead and be envious of Carlsbad -- beautiful today, 70 ish. Tomorrow is supposed to be 77. Hopefully your part of the world is warming up also.
Yes, anger and grief and learning curves. All part of being human. And not the feeling good part. I'm glad that the doctors are still trying to find combinations of drugs to help you feel more comfortable.
Thanks for checking in. We're always here. Always thinking about you. Always will.
xoxo
Victoria
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Hang in There Carol!!camul said:You guys are the best. My niece bought a beautiful home in south
Carlsbad up by the rec Center my sister is there again this weekend for her baby's 2nd birthday. She has been down there probably 6 times already since the first of the year and she Has seen a lot of rain, same as northern ca, and my son was in San Diego Tuesday for a concert, it was clear but chilly. They were there two weeks prior but the concert was postponed.
It got to 78 here one day last week. I slept and was so disappointed when I woke up and realized I missed it.
The hospice Doctor and nurse were here today. I am going to try a lower dose of steroids and an anti depressant to see if that takes away some of the bone pain without the massive swelling. She is hoping it will help with the head pressure, cramping and all the side effects from the pain meds. I agreed to a lower dose, last one was 16 mg for months and got the Lymphodema in my legs, this is 1 mg 2 max. Said I was on too high of a dose of a short term steroid but it was long term, hopefully this will be better. I refused bumping up to 250 - 300 mg of the Fentanyl patches, 200 is hard and now it is better at 48hr changes, 72 hrs was worn off and the withdrawyls would start. She said a lot of this is from all of the radiation, however, the radiation has really kept me here longer and it helped with the pain. So.... every choice has consequence/ or with cancer, side effects, I just have to learn how to deal with the chronic pains n and get the pain to a level where I can function. I am so done with sleeping more than anything, and learn a healthy way to deal with the grieving, took about 15+ years for the anger to set in and it is another learning curve... Vegas time (if I could sit long enough to get there).
Hugs you all,
you inspire me and have to tell you how much it
means to see you all care.
Love Carol
Hello Carol! Im new to all this just had my sugery March 7, 2017 (sEE my "new to this "story on the breast cancer , taking Letrozole and about to start radiation soon. HANG IN THERE ..AND TAKE IT A DAY AT A TIME AS YOU HAVE BEEN DOING..PRAYERS AND BLESSINGS TO YOU!
keep writing and talking we are all here FOR you!!0 -
Or move to the beach!tufi000 said:SENSEI!
NOW YOU are starting to get the anger thing??!?!?!?!?! Have you forgotten when the rest of us got that and you healed us????? Are we having a pity party next? Remember those? They were hysterical.
Funny about Carlsbad. My sister in law moved from Northern New Jersey after 50 yrs to be with her progeny in SoCal. Didn't like peeps there near LA so moved to Florida. That lasted 2 months, so sold THAT place and got a sweet place in Carlsbad a few nonths ago. It is only 20 min from her daughter and son lives right there.
Uh...Sensei, maybe we all should have our own chatroom huh?
Hope the new progam works. Lovin' ya
Sherry
I don't think a pity party completely. Most of
my support system has also moved to Oregon, Florida, or are still working and when I moved with my son a year and a half ago I ended up moving away from my town where I lived 22 years and not driving anymore I am alone most of the time so it is lonely, something this independent person is not use to, I am gettting familiar with UBER, lol.
I gt frustrated when the answer is always to up the pain meds, I know it will help the pain but then I just sleep even more.so yes it is a pity party and I do get upset because I want to go and do things and hurt so bad that going to the store is like a major chore, and my fun friends who still included me like I wasn't sick are the ones who have moved.
Biggest thing is I got to spend some time with my sisters and then they went home and it will most likely be the last time I even see a couple of them!!! So yeah maybe a pity party. Looking forward to seeing if the Reiki Master's attempt at natural healing helps! We shall see!
Thanks for the encouragement Sherry!
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Thanks Jean and Victoria. Mary said it was beautiful.
She texted pictures from the beach. I was envious but happy for her. Never thought she would go thru this, just keep hoping she does not hit iv! i man sure she feels the same! Hanging out with the ex tomorrow, should be interesting and hope he is in a good mood! Always a maybe. Lol
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GOT IT!!!!
Proposing to rename pity parties. How about fill parties? A choice to refill yourself bringing renewal or having a beer. No guilt that way!
Interesting what you said today. My docs believe my biggest issue is my isolation. I agree. ALL friends and family at least 2000 miles away in multiple directions and the nearest "commercial entity" 7 miles and it is a McD's. While I love our hobbit house, the peeps here are intimidated and afraid of us, so no local friends except my docs...who REALLY have made me family. Here I go, whining about me.
Sensei, can you have Scotty just beam us around to our support peeps please? Perhaps destructing and restructing in a transporter would realign your cells so you don't hurt anymore. Hmmm I can dream can't I?
BUT, in this area saying you are partially disabled really helps getting your car reg renewed fast!
That's todays' rant love. Keep comin' back here. I could go on forever. Did you ever notice that now, no matter what someone asks you, there are no longer SIMPLE answers anymore and I am a champion of brevity believe it or not.
love here from your teacher's pet
Sherry
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Cyberfriends
Sometimes those physical friends can't be there when you need them (or are awake) even though they really want to be. Carol, as you know, someone is typically here and the time difference actually helps that. Makes Florida not so far away or inconvenient. I usually check the board daily, but sometimes not. Thanks again, Sherry, for poking Carol and reminding her to check in with us as needed for whatever is needed. Because we all do care. Maybe we don't fully understand but sometimes it feels good to type out your frustrations, sort of like journaling, but with response! Still and always keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Now please, Carol, keep checking in when it's convenient for you.
Suzanne
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Odd Spring
It's been a spring with no sunshine but sweet gentle rains, deep mud, confused birds and raccoons. Due to sporadic appearances of the sun and a couple freezing nights, I watch a very confused wildlife's instincts a little mixed up. But rocky ( Old Mama raccoon) never gets flumoxed and so this too brings me to you
Rocky is ancient for a raccoon, strong, has had a litter every year and the best of the moms with her kits teaching them well. (I can hear the schooling all night in season) and perhaps needs a name change to Sensei Carol.
Soooo Rocky has a new nickname in honor of being the CAROL of raccoons. Now you may not see this as appropriate, but over the years I have watched her with awe and there is the connection.
Another day , another bit of love and caring.
Sherry
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Carol
Although it has been rainy, spring is here. The birds are chirping, the daffodils are blooming and some of the tuplips are getting ready to bloom soon. Don't you just love the smells of spring? This season gives us hope of new beginnings and rebirth in our spirits. I wish you a blessed day full of sunshine and peacefulness.
Hug,
Annie
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thank you AnneApaugh said:Carol
Although it has been rainy, spring is here. The birds are chirping, the daffodils are blooming and some of the tuplips are getting ready to bloom soon. Don't you just love the smells of spring? This season gives us hope of new beginnings and rebirth in our spirits. I wish you a blessed day full of sunshine and peacefulness.
Hug,
Annie
my daffodils and
Tips are
blooming, but would rather live by the beach... Lol. Won't happen! Dreaming
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Suzanne you have always been here.Double Whammy said:Cyberfriends
Sometimes those physical friends can't be there when you need them (or are awake) even though they really want to be. Carol, as you know, someone is typically here and the time difference actually helps that. Makes Florida not so far away or inconvenient. I usually check the board daily, but sometimes not. Thanks again, Sherry, for poking Carol and reminding her to check in with us as needed for whatever is needed. Because we all do care. Maybe we don't fully understand but sometimes it feels good to type out your frustrations, sort of like journaling, but with response! Still and always keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Now please, Carol, keep checking in when it's convenient for you.
Suzanne
I have been having a hard time figuring out this depression. My pain dr, now my hospice Dr. has explained it goes with the constant bone/chest pain. So we are working on really managing the pain. I was pulling back from everyone as the only way it is bearable is when I am sleeping. Now we have doubled the meds but after 2 weeks, still no relief. So she is looking into alternatives, had Rieke this week and seeing a cancer therapist. She understands. I was so tired of people telling me what I needed to do to get rid of the pain. Andd as usualit was those who have never experienced it. My doctors are baffled. They didn't think Christmas was going to be part of my time here. I have heard 3-6 months for 7 years now so...
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me toocamul said:thank you Anne
my daffodils and
Tips are
blooming, but would rather live by the beach... Lol. Won't happen! Dreaming
I dream of being in a big beach chair with a tropical drink in my hand feeling the warm breeze. Tasting the salt in the air. It would be so healing to the soul..
I guess we all can dream together.
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Sherry and Carol
You guys are so strong together. I love watching you support each other but am wishing things were a million percent different for you both.
Hugs to you guys.
Clementine
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TY Clem
Your comment is totally appreciated and has already been thoroughly digested.
One thing though, is what we are doing here really out of strenghth? I always got more of a feeling that it is simply deciding to open your eyes each morning. I don't know if that is really strenghth or just the most convenient option or my laziness. It can even be rationalized to following the way of the TAO. It's all spin.
But thanks again
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Bystandertufi000 said:TY Clem
Your comment is totally appreciated and has already been thoroughly digested.
One thing though, is what we are doing here really out of strenghth? I always got more of a feeling that it is simply deciding to open your eyes each morning. I don't know if that is really strenghth or just the most convenient option or my laziness. It can even be rationalized to following the way of the TAO. It's all spin.
But thanks again
To a bystander it comes off as you guys rooting each other despite the most crappy of circumstances. Anyway, for what it is worth, it is inspiring to others so maybe that is something to hang your hats on even if it feels like you are just doing what you must to get through the day.
Hugs,
Clem
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Holy Molly girltufi000 said:Our lakehouse burnt to the ground this morning
So is this a good day? Yes. I feel good and that is all I need.
amazing...I realize how our experience totally changes our POV about everything
So you are back to Ninja for me
Sherry
How can you be so calm! Where was the house? Electrical? Glad you are good and you didnt mention anyone was injured.
Today was a good day, the nurse came again and the Reiki Master.Ms skeptical here actually feels so scalm when she leaves. I went along with it thinking it wouldn't do anything, it has such a positive effect on me. Every place she touches gets so warm and some horrible pain areas in my ribs and chest don't hurt for hours. Don't know if the chest pain is the blastocyst tumors, a fractured rib or the cancer in the connective tissue between my ribs and lungs? The reason doesn't matter as the only option is upping pain meds.You do help me with positivity, but me
Ninja, not so much! Lol!
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Yes. calmcamul said:Holy Molly girl
How can you be so calm! Where was the house? Electrical? Glad you are good and you didnt mention anyone was injured.
Today was a good day, the nurse came again and the Reiki Master.Ms skeptical here actually feels so scalm when she leaves. I went along with it thinking it wouldn't do anything, it has such a positive effect on me. Every place she touches gets so warm and some horrible pain areas in my ribs and chest don't hurt for hours. Don't know if the chest pain is the blastocyst tumors, a fractured rib or the cancer in the connective tissue between my ribs and lungs? The reason doesn't matter as the only option is upping pain meds.You do help me with positivity, but me
Ninja, not so much! Lol!
It was on a lake. Really cute and we had just listed it for sale a few weeks ago. Weird. We don't focus on "things" much anymore and didn't go there a lot so it is great no one was there. One of the reasons we were selling is many more copperheads were showing up right by the house, even next to the stairs out the back deck. I was terrified our dog would try to investigate and I am not very good at spotting them either.
Fire dept said they couldn't find what caused it. There wasn't enough of anything there to do something like that. The worst of this will be doing all the insurance crap and all.
THRILLED you are getting some relief however long it lasts. Isn't it a drag to have to keep figuring out the source of the latest tweek that hits you? I stopped. I follow my mom's advice. Wait 2 weeks. It will either get better or get worse. Then you will know what to do. I think that has helped me the most in trying to forget I am a 24/7 patient.
Glad you got out even with the reminder it is a noisy crazy world out there.
Lovin' ya
Sherry
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Coffee after noon
Between it being a no-news day and the fire and just 3 hours sleep I am breaking my rule of no coffee after noon. Oh well
Hope you are still getting some relief. Taking a shower yesterday all I could think of is when I could't without some tech next to me...now take the wash rag and....GEEZ! Did it say I had dementia on my chart???
Consequently I thought of you sooo much while I soaped and rinsed and didn't fall. The luxuries we treasure huh?
Have a good day Sensei
Sherry
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