Camul On top

Thinking of you often.

Suzanne

All of you.  I am fighting this depression, lol....   I am trying to figure it out. Started seeing an LCSW.  She has been counselingwith hospice for close to 20 years or 15, she says with constantpain it is impossible not to have depression. I have so much pain from tailbone to neck, ribs and lungs killing me.  She seemed to get it but said she won't give me false hope,  it will most likely not get better.  I love the honesty.  With this much invasion they are surprised I am still Function.   That is the problem, i don't function. I sleep, wake

up, take pan meds and go to sleep.  Walking and showering hurt like hell. I still do it but

not without pain.

 You have shown grace and compassion in a desperately painful time in your journey.  My heart aches for you to have some relief.  Continued prayers.

Gentle hug,

Annie

Thinking of you each day. Praying for some comfort and loving your spirit. Hugs, Linda

I hope your able to get outside today and feel the warm sun on your face. 

Hugs,

Annie

Saying hello, thinking of you. 

Just so you know, it's rained and rained and rained here in North County. When it stops raining it's chillier than usual, weeks and months in the sixties. So. Just saying you haven't missed much in the paradise department.

xo

Victoria 

and keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.

Suzanne

I hope you got some laughter in today.  It is so good on the soul.

Carlsbad up by the rec Center my sister is there again this weekend for her baby's 2nd birthday.  She has been down there probably 6 times already since the first of the year and she Has seen a lot of rain, same as northern ca, and my son was in San Diego Tuesday for a concert, it was clear but chilly.  They were there two weeks prior but the concert was postponed.  

It got to 78 here one day last week.  I slept and was so disappointed when I woke up and realized I missed it. 

The hospice Doctor and nurse were here today. I am going to try a lower dose of steroids and an anti depressant to see if that takes away some of the bone pain without the massive swelling.  She is hoping it will help with the head pressure, cramping and all the side effects from the pain meds.  I agreed to a lower dose, last one was 16 mg for months and got the Lymphodema in my legs, this is 1 mg  2 max. Said I was on too high of a dose of a short term steroid but it was long term,  hopefully this will be better. I refused bumping up to 250 - 300 mg of the Fentanyl patches, 200 is hard and now it is better at 48hr changes, 72 hrs was worn off and the withdrawyls would start.  She said a lot of this is from all of the radiation, however, the radiation has really kept me here longer and it helped with the pain. So....  every choice has consequence/ or with cancer, side effects,  I just have to learn how to deal with the chronic pains n and get the pain to a level where I can function.  I am so done with sleeping more than anything, and learn a healthy way to deal with the grieving, took about 15+ years for the anger to set in and it is another learning curve...  Vegas time (if I could sit long enough to get there).

Hugs you all, 

you inspire me and have to tell you how much it

means to see you all care.

Love Carol

Hi, Carol!  It was nice to read your advice on the hair loss/gain issue in another thread.  I don't know about the rest of you (I'm in southeast PA) -  with all this talk of 78 degrees, SoCal, and concerts, I am ready for water ice!!!!!!!  Who's got the bus?

Hoping your hours awake are full of laughter!

Peace and prayers,

Kathy