So mad and having emotional issues right now.

Easyflip said:

I'm so sorry

you are having such a rough time. I think of all that you're going through the growing met is by far the most important and you should concentrate your energies there. The job and hubby will have to wait until you're done dealing with your survival. They're either on board or not but if not get out of the way and you work on getting yourself getting better. The dentist sounds like a bonehead, let his wife work on him. Your hubby sounds scared, talk about that with him. Try whatever you have to, not the time to be shy. Good luck and best wishes from me, your faith will see you through no matter what. Good luck!

Thank you for the support Richard. My husband is being much better and even my boss seems to be a bit ashamed. I suspect his wife has given him the third degree. I don't want special treatment from him, he hired me knowing I'd had cancer and I really appreciate that, I just don't want to be manipulated and lied to. And no matter how hard he is on me I'm much harder on myself so he doesn't need to make up numbers to try to make me feel badly about something that I don't have any control over. I'm doing the best job I can.

Yes, I'm focusing on myself. I went out and rode my horse today and it did wonders for my soul. I love him so much, he was his usual perfect self and he's a good boy who is cuddly and sweet. I am blessed to have the people and animals I have in my life. My dogs have been a huge emotional support as well.

Take care!

Jan

Colonchick said:

There's nothing better for

There's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse...Ronald Reagan

I love spending time out in the barn with my horses and my 3 year old when I'm blue....Hugs for Waldo

You have a horse, too! Aren't they wonderful creatures? We're so lucky!

Jan

Colonchick said:

Nothing more beautiful and

Nothing more beautiful and relaxing than watching them in the evenings! What breed do you have? I have an Arabian and Quarter horse! 

My boy is a half quarter horse, a quarter morgan and a quarter thoroughbred cross. He has the morgan body so he's stocky. He's a dark palomino. I adore him.

Is your horse a quarter horse/arab cross? Or do you have one of each?

Colonchick said:

I have one of each.  I love

I have one of each.  I love seeing the difference between them.  The arabian is full of beauty and grace, and the Quarter horse is full of power and strength.

Yes, they're likely very different personality wise. My boy is very laid back. He has this cool personality where he's very in tune with people. At least he is with us. He's like a big dog. I wish we could have a place in the country again and have him close. We've had two acrages in the past but live in town now and I have to board him. It's not the same at all. I used to do things like take a book and sit in their paddock and read. It was heaven.

Jan

Helen321 said:

Bosses are serious idiots.

Bosses are serious idiots.  Mine weren't any better when I was sick.  They even assigned me physical labor tasks and extra projects.  I could barely function but I faked it.  It's winter too so people are less likely to go to the dentist.  I'm only going because I'm in pain or even I'd wait the weather out.  He's just a typical jerk of a boss. 

As for your husband, since he has been helpful for the most part he gets a pass but it's really just not nice.  I know you're both going through this but the truth is, you're the one going through the physical pain and others don't seem to understand that.  Hang in there my friend.  So many hard days in the cancer world.  We don't live in the regular world anymore and people who've never lived it, just don't have the slightest clue what it feels like.

Thanks Helen. My husband has a cold right now. He's not one of these guys that gets a man cold and acts like a baby but he's having to blow his nose a lot and is whining about that. I'm finding I'm saying things like "aw, that must be awful" just because it's the right thing to say but I actually have zero pity for him. First time he's been sick with anything in the three plus years I've been dealing with all this crap.

My boss has lightened up in the last week. It's suddenly getting busier which is normal for this time of year and he's acting like it's because of me. I'm no more responsible for it being busy now than I was for it being slow in January. Ugh.

I'm sorry your boss was a jerk. I wish some people could spend a day being me- or us- and really see what it's like. I'm getting fatigue from the new treatments and had to stop halfway through unloading the dishwasher this morning. Made me angry and I started crying. I loathe feeling helpless and depedning on others. My husband finished it without me asking and then tidied up the kitchen. This is how he usually is.