kidney cancer paralyzed with fear

dhs1963 said:

You will get through it.

I am guessing we are the same age, as I am assuming the 1963 refers to you birth year.  I went through what you are going throuhg a year ago.   I thouhgt the waiting is the hardest part.  Psychologically, it is brutal.  I felt paralized with fear.  I did not want to do anything, and wanted to talk about it. Cancer is scary.   Fortunately, I have a boat load of leave...Some days I just did not come in. I was so scared.  Then I woke up one morning, and it was the day before surgery.  THere were things to do (mostly in the bathroom thanks to golightly).  THe next morning, I woke up, went to the hospital, the the pre-op stuff, was giving the anesthesia, and the next thing I knew, tumor was gone (along with the kidney).  I am not going to lie and say the recovery from surgery was easy.  But you can do it.  You will do it.  You will be scared.  But we are here.

 

 

Loving it!  Great post!  There's lots of us here waiting tohear yourestoriesof surgery!  Take your time! We'll wait!

val1963 said:

Thanks MD!   i  stood in the

Thanks MD!   i  stood in the rain and threw mud bombs at my fence today!  Every one of them was a tumor and I was anniliating them.   Silly but incredibly theraputic.     

I did this by increasing my running which was symbolic for leaving my cancer in the dust. This spring I spent much time destroying many plants, bushes, shrubs and hemlocks my wife had planted. I cut, I trimmed, I dug up so much stuff in my minds goal of "properly " maintaining our property. She was not happy. Alot of my work looks like crap. I couldn't stop myself. Then one evening it hit me. I had to eliminate any and all dead non productive and old yard cancer. Something I kind of had control over. It was also very symbolic and therapeutic for me. I told her of my relevation and she was less mad at me.

MDCinSC said:

Loving it!  Great post! 

Loving it!  Great post!  There's lots of us here waiting tohear yourestoriesof surgery!  Take your time! We'll wait!

I am 7 years older then you so with a bit of luck your tumor will be the size mine would have been if it were discovered in 2008.  Don't worry about the surgery!  I went in to the hospital in the morning. For three weeks I was laughing it off making jokes and acting generally like fearless big man at work.  This I think took a big toll on me  cause I was pretty  shook up.  Try to be be nice to your wife if you are married because I think it true that when you have cancer your whole family has cancer.

I got to the pre op room and the Doc gave me 10MG of valium.  They roll you into the operating room and it is cold.  Also I had to take out my contacts so I couldnt see crap. They hooked up an IV and I was surronded by all these HD vidio screens.  I looked at the clock and it was exactly noon.  Next thing I knew I was awake and looked at the clock and it was 7.30PM.  It hurt and I had some trouble breathing because of all the gas they has pumped into my body but actually felt pretty good. They kept me in the recovery room for an extra hour because by blood pressure was too high but it settled down and I was rolled into a nice room with a computer and TV and stuff.  I made my wife and  kids  go home---they looked exhusted and I wanted to be alone.  I had my phone and there were dozens of texts bascially asking if I were alive.  I answered each text with choice words I can't really repeat here.  About midnight I really started to hurt and called for the nurse.  She was nice and said the that was normal and gave me a shot and I was ok.

I didn't really sleep the second night either but about 4.30AM the gas left my body.  I will omit the details except to say I was glad it was in the middle of the night.  After that I could breath fine and spent the rest of the night walking slowly around my floor.  The next morning I had 2 cups  of coffee and was discharged.  I went home and took a shower until the water went cold.  Then I put on PJ's for the first time in 45 years and went to the big couch in my living room and watched TV and took perocets for about a week and then came back to work.

The pathology report came in about a week later and it wasn't what you would call great.  11CM   T3A  Grade 3  Vascular invasion etc.  My 4 month scan was clean and I feel fine.  I will say one thing.......there are certain thing you really dont care about too much after the surgery......things like money.

icemantoo said:

Surgery

Val,

I think all of us were scared s..tless when we were told we have cancer and at the same time told we were going to have major surgery. Not fun. You are perfectly normal to be scared. I sure was. The Nephrectomy surgery has been around for years and unless you have a heart condition is not life threatning. In your case it should be a cure with no further treatment. Mine was almost 11 years ago. Faye across the street is at 18 years since her surgery and she is a young 82.

Since you are 20 years younger than me I expect you to be here 20 years longer helping the Newbies.

June 5th the  day of your surgery was almost a very special day in our history. However because of the weather the invasion of Normandy was delayed unyil June 6th (the Longest Day). Lets hope you do not have any weather delays so that you can get rid of that little sucker on schedule.

 

Icemantoo

 

Ice Man, you are just sooo cool at times... You "thnk" all of us were scared, heck I was terrified..!  And that is an understament.. but I do believe that made me a much better patient afterwards..!  I joked and had FUN with the Dr's and Nurses while in the hospital.. they enjoyed me and I enjoyed them..  I felt like I got a second chance when I actually woke up after the surgery... 

I hope and bet those of you waiting on the surgery will feel the say way..!  It was such a relief getting that nasty tumor out... and here I am as you will be.. here to tell your story and smile at how you are glad to be here..!

Ron

Djinnie said:

Plan for the future

 

Hi Val, To reduce fears and stress over the up and coming surgery,why not concentrate your mind on a positive plan of action for a healthier you. Setting up a diet plan, exercise routines or relaxation techniques, any changes that will help you feel you are taking control of your life. The creation of a plan of action will empower you, you will gain strength from that.

There is lots of information out there regarding lifestyle changes. One thing we all have to remember to do though is drink plenty of water. There are some very good books written by Dr Batmanghelidj, who spent his life studying the damaging effects on the body of dehydration,including the effects on cell structure, it makes interesting reading. Anyway it just an idea to help you through!

All the best 

Djinnie

Galrim's advice gets the thumbs up from some clinical psychologists I know, in addition to his being able to vouch that it really worked for him.

Djinnie's added advice is very sensible too - both the action and the reason she gives for it. 

Djinnie, I've not heard of Dr Batmanghelidj - is there a particular title you would recommend?

Djinnie said:

Books

Hello Texas,

Dr Batman's main book 'Your Body's Many Cries for Water' is a good one to start with. There is also 'Water & Salt' and two others on the effects of water. I found his books interesting and felt, for me at least, his studies made a lot of sense.

 Dr Batman was from Iran and was educated at Fettes School in Scotland and later studied under Alexander Fleming. 

Djinnie

Thanks Djinnie. 

I've now chased down a bit more about him.  He seems to be a real maverick and despite his excellent education (I frequently drive past Fettes College when going down to Edinburgh) and studies in London with Fleming, he seems never to have published any academic research.  He seems to be regarded as a crank with a big idée fixe.  However, there's no doubting the importance of water to health and I'm sure he was right in concluding that we tend to drink less of it as we get older and to pay the attendant price.

Djinnie said:

Dr B

I suppose it comes down to 'does the message hold water'.....lol:)

 

I have the Fettes/Fettis crest on my wall here, it belonged to my Mother, the family name is Fettis.

 

Djinnie

 

 

I like it! 

The family crest  - Fettes / Fettis - I hope you're not making a fetish out of it!