kidney cancer paralyzed with fear

2

Comments

  • dhs1963
    dhs1963 Member Posts: 513
    #22
    You will get through it.

    I am guessing we are the same age, as I am assuming the 1963 refers to you birth year.  I went through what you are going throuhg a year ago.   I thouhgt the waiting is the hardest part.  Psychologically, it is brutal.  I felt paralized with fear.  I did not want to do anything, and wanted to talk about it. Cancer is scary.   Fortunately, I have a boat load of leave...Some days I just did not come in. I was so scared.  Then I woke up one morning, and it was the day before surgery.  THere were things to do (mostly in the bathroom thanks to golightly).  THe next morning, I woke up, went to the hospital, the the pre-op stuff, was giving the anesthesia, and the next thing I knew, tumor was gone (along with the kidney).  I am not going to lie and say the recovery from surgery was easy.  But you can do it.  You will do it.  You will be scared.  But we are here.

     

     

  • MDCinSC
    MDCinSC Member Posts: 574
    #23
    dhs1963 said:

    You will get through it.

    I am guessing we are the same age, as I am assuming the 1963 refers to you birth year.  I went through what you are going throuhg a year ago.   I thouhgt the waiting is the hardest part.  Psychologically, it is brutal.  I felt paralized with fear.  I did not want to do anything, and wanted to talk about it. Cancer is scary.   Fortunately, I have a boat load of leave...Some days I just did not come in. I was so scared.  Then I woke up one morning, and it was the day before surgery.  THere were things to do (mostly in the bathroom thanks to golightly).  THe next morning, I woke up, went to the hospital, the the pre-op stuff, was giving the anesthesia, and the next thing I knew, tumor was gone (along with the kidney).  I am not going to lie and say the recovery from surgery was easy.  But you can do it.  You will do it.  You will be scared.  But we are here.

     

     

    Loving it!  Great post! 

    Loving it!  Great post!  There's lots of us here waiting tohear yourestoriesof surgery!  Take your time! We'll wait!

  • Galrim
    Galrim Member Posts: 315 Member
    #24
    Small tool to deal with it

    Useful or not, depends on you as a person I guess. But I had a streak of panic attacks and fear both pre and post surgery. A psychologist in my local cancer support group gave me the best advise I ever got on handling it:

    "Talk to it. Adress it. 15 minutes every day. But once thats done, tell your fear that now it has gotten its allotted time for today and should bugger off. See you again tomorrow if youre still around".

    Simple, but worked like a charm for me.

    /G

  • foxhd
    foxhd Member Posts: 3,181 Member
    #25
    val1963 said:

    Thanks MD!   i  stood in the

    Thanks MD!   i  stood in the rain and threw mud bombs at my fence today!  Every one of them was a tumor and I was anniliating them.   Silly but incredibly theraputic.     

    Mud bombs

    I did this by increasing my running which was symbolic for leaving my cancer in the dust. This spring I spent much time destroying many plants, bushes, shrubs and hemlocks my wife had planted. I cut, I trimmed, I dug up so much stuff in my minds goal of "properly " maintaining our property. She was not happy. Alot of my work looks like crap. I couldn't stop myself. Then one evening it hit me. I had to eliminate any and all dead non productive and old yard cancer. Something I kind of had control over. It was also very symbolic and therapeutic for me. I told her of my relevation and she was less mad at me.

  • MDCinSC
    MDCinSC Member Posts: 574
    #26
    val1963 said:

    Thanks MD!   i  stood in the

    Thanks MD!   i  stood in the rain and threw mud bombs at my fence today!  Every one of them was a tumor and I was anniliating them.   Silly but incredibly theraputic.     

    Mud-bombs are good!  I like

    Mud-bombs are good!  I like that!  As I said, I personalized mine and talked to it!  I called it names! I made the fear tangible and then belittled its ability to frighten me.  I made sure it knew that I was in control and it was going down for the count.

  • DonMiller
    DonMiller Member Posts: 109
    #27
    MDCinSC said:

    Loving it!  Great post! 

    Loving it!  Great post!  There's lots of us here waiting tohear yourestoriesof surgery!  Take your time! We'll wait!

    Surgery

    I am 7 years older then you so with a bit of luck your tumor will be the size mine would have been if it were discovered in 2008.  Don't worry about the surgery!  I went in to the hospital in the morning. For three weeks I was laughing it off making jokes and acting generally like fearless big man at work.  This I think took a big toll on me  cause I was pretty  shook up.  Try to be be nice to your wife if you are married because I think it true that when you have cancer your whole family has cancer.

    I got to the pre op room and the Doc gave me 10MG of valium.  They roll you into the operating room and it is cold.  Also I had to take out my contacts so I couldnt see crap. They hooked up an IV and I was surronded by all these HD vidio screens.  I looked at the clock and it was exactly noon.  Next thing I knew I was awake and looked at the clock and it was 7.30PM.  It hurt and I had some trouble breathing because of all the gas they has pumped into my body but actually felt pretty good. They kept me in the recovery room for an extra hour because by blood pressure was too high but it settled down and I was rolled into a nice room with a computer and TV and stuff.  I made my wife and  kids  go home---they looked exhusted and I wanted to be alone.  I had my phone and there were dozens of texts bascially asking if I were alive.  I answered each text with choice words I can't really repeat here.  About midnight I really started to hurt and called for the nurse.  She was nice and said the that was normal and gave me a shot and I was ok.

    I didn't really sleep the second night either but about 4.30AM the gas left my body.  I will omit the details except to say I was glad it was in the middle of the night.  After that I could breath fine and spent the rest of the night walking slowly around my floor.  The next morning I had 2 cups  of coffee and was discharged.  I went home and took a shower until the water went cold.  Then I put on PJ's for the first time in 45 years and went to the big couch in my living room and watched TV and took perocets for about a week and then came back to work.

    The pathology report came in about a week later and it wasn't what you would call great.  11CM   T3A  Grade 3  Vascular invasion etc.  My 4 month scan was clean and I feel fine.  I will say one thing.......there are certain thing you really dont care about too much after the surgery......things like money.

  • foxhd
    foxhd Member Posts: 3,181 Member
    #28
    Galrim said:

    Small tool to deal with it

    Useful or not, depends on you as a person I guess. But I had a streak of panic attacks and fear both pre and post surgery. A psychologist in my local cancer support group gave me the best advise I ever got on handling it:

    "Talk to it. Adress it. 15 minutes every day. But once thats done, tell your fear that now it has gotten its allotted time for today and should bugger off. See you again tomorrow if youre still around".

    Simple, but worked like a charm for me.

    /G

    The damn wait

    I had no wait. Pain and hematuria landed me in the hospital for pain management and nephrectomy over a few day period. I might have gone nutz if I had to wait a month or so. Believe me I am impressed with everyone here who has had to deal with that. However, working in health care gives me a different perspective. I have seen thousands of people have to prepare for surgery. Even weak people get through it. So look forward to the surgery. It is the most major step in beating this disease. The rest is a lifelong challenge. The good news is that such significant progress is being made in kidney cancer care. You are becoming part of it. Concentrate on all the options that are available and make your long term plans. It is a life changing event. You'll heal from surgery. Look forward to getting that bugger out of there and  think positive thoughts.

  • GSRon
    GSRon Member Posts: 1,303 Member
    #29
    icemantoo said:

    Surgery

    Val,

    I think all of us were scared s..tless when we were told we have cancer and at the same time told we were going to have major surgery. Not fun. You are perfectly normal to be scared. I sure was. The Nephrectomy surgery has been around for years and unless you have a heart condition is not life threatning. In your case it should be a cure with no further treatment. Mine was almost 11 years ago. Faye across the street is at 18 years since her surgery and she is a young 82.

    Since you are 20 years younger than me I expect you to be here 20 years longer helping the Newbies.

    June 5th the  day of your surgery was almost a very special day in our history. However because of the weather the invasion of Normandy was delayed unyil June 6th (the Longest Day). Lets hope you do not have any weather delays so that you can get rid of that little sucker on schedule.

     

    Icemantoo

     

    Icy Cool..

    Ice Man, you are just sooo cool at times... You "thnk" all of us were scared, heck I was terrified..!  And that is an understament.. but I do believe that made me a much better patient afterwards..!  I joked and had FUN with the Dr's and Nurses while in the hospital.. they enjoyed me and I enjoyed them..  I felt like I got a second chance when I actually woke up after the surgery... 

    I hope and bet those of you waiting on the surgery will feel the say way..!  It was such a relief getting that nasty tumor out... and here I am as you will be.. here to tell your story and smile at how you are glad to be here..!

    Ron

  • val1963
    val1963 Member Posts: 27
    #30
    dme59 said:

    same boat...

    I too have had the fear, anxiety as the surgery draws nearer. I am scheduled for June 5 also. I have been able to sleep but I wake up far too early. Finding this support network has already helped ease the anxiety. I have found answers to many of the questions/concerns I had flashing through my head before finding this forum. Even though all the doctors I have been too through the ct scans, biopsy, and the surgeon that is going to do my surgery keep telling me good things about my expected outcome I can't help but have some anxiety. But coming here and talking to people who either have been through all of this or getting ready to like we are has been a big help. Praying that all goes well.

    Dan

    Dan,
    You (we) are in really

    Dan,

    You (we) are in really good hands with this group!   June 5th makes us family or kindred spirits or something right? lol

    this group armed me with the knowledge to free myself from the crippling grip that fear had on me.  the people here are so supportive, knowledgable, loving and full of good healthy humor.   along with coming here for support and guidence, I started a gentle beginner yoga (dvd at home no class) and it is also helping with the anxiety.

    Stay positive and remember to breath.   We'll compare war stories and scars on the 6th!!   Valerie

  • val1963
    val1963 Member Posts: 27
    #31
    TerriNick said:

    surgery

    Hang in there. Nick was diagnosed in October but then had to wait until the beginning of December for the surgery. It was a difficult time for him and the waiting was horrible. But the good news is that as we were told it had taken years for the tumour to grow to the size that it was, waiting a few weeks for the surgery would not make any difference in the size or growth of it. The surgeon was great and really put Nick at ease telling him of people that he had known who had survived 10, 15. 20+ years after having a kidney removed by him. And the surgery went brilliantly. You will be tired afterwards so expect that and allow yourself to rest as much as you need to. In the meantime can I suggest that you buy some visualisation CDs. Dr Simonton is quite a good one. Whilst they don't 'cure' cancer they can help you to start takig back some control over your wellbeing. Sometimes it is the feeling out of control of our own health and life that can make us feel worse. Doing something, anything, to take back some control can help to reduce the stress and panic. I wish you all the very best for 5 June and I have offered you the link to the Simonton Centre below. I bought some CDs for Nick from there.

    www.simontoncenter.com

     

    thank you so much Terri, I

    thank you so much Terri, I will check out the dvd's!    Please give my best to Nick!  

    I trulyl believe knowledge is power but the right support group is the difference between paralyed or moving forward.

    thank you

  • val1963
    val1963 Member Posts: 27
    #32
    dhs1963 said:

    You will get through it.

    I am guessing we are the same age, as I am assuming the 1963 refers to you birth year.  I went through what you are going throuhg a year ago.   I thouhgt the waiting is the hardest part.  Psychologically, it is brutal.  I felt paralized with fear.  I did not want to do anything, and wanted to talk about it. Cancer is scary.   Fortunately, I have a boat load of leave...Some days I just did not come in. I was so scared.  Then I woke up one morning, and it was the day before surgery.  THere were things to do (mostly in the bathroom thanks to golightly).  THe next morning, I woke up, went to the hospital, the the pre-op stuff, was giving the anesthesia, and the next thing I knew, tumor was gone (along with the kidney).  I am not going to lie and say the recovery from surgery was easy.  But you can do it.  You will do it.  You will be scared.  But we are here.

     

     

    Yep the big 50 this year D!  

    Yep the big 50 this year D!   It is sohelpful to hear from people who have been through this.  I have learned much and more from this group.  thank you very much

  • val1963
    val1963 Member Posts: 27
    #33
    Galrim said:

    Small tool to deal with it

    Useful or not, depends on you as a person I guess. But I had a streak of panic attacks and fear both pre and post surgery. A psychologist in my local cancer support group gave me the best advise I ever got on handling it:

    "Talk to it. Adress it. 15 minutes every day. But once thats done, tell your fear that now it has gotten its allotted time for today and should bugger off. See you again tomorrow if youre still around".

    Simple, but worked like a charm for me.

    /G

    Brilliant!  I love it and

    Brilliant!  I love it and will try it tonight Galrim!!   Thank you!

  • val1963
    val1963 Member Posts: 27
    #34
    foxhd said:

    The damn wait

    I had no wait. Pain and hematuria landed me in the hospital for pain management and nephrectomy over a few day period. I might have gone nutz if I had to wait a month or so. Believe me I am impressed with everyone here who has had to deal with that. However, working in health care gives me a different perspective. I have seen thousands of people have to prepare for surgery. Even weak people get through it. So look forward to the surgery. It is the most major step in beating this disease. The rest is a lifelong challenge. The good news is that such significant progress is being made in kidney cancer care. You are becoming part of it. Concentrate on all the options that are available and make your long term plans. It is a life changing event. You'll heal from surgery. Look forward to getting that bugger out of there and  think positive thoughts.

    I am grateful for your

    I am grateful for your positive words Fox, thank you.   

     

     

     

    '0

  • val1963
    val1963 Member Posts: 27
    #35
    DonMiller said:

    Surgery

    I am 7 years older then you so with a bit of luck your tumor will be the size mine would have been if it were discovered in 2008.  Don't worry about the surgery!  I went in to the hospital in the morning. For three weeks I was laughing it off making jokes and acting generally like fearless big man at work.  This I think took a big toll on me  cause I was pretty  shook up.  Try to be be nice to your wife if you are married because I think it true that when you have cancer your whole family has cancer.

    I got to the pre op room and the Doc gave me 10MG of valium.  They roll you into the operating room and it is cold.  Also I had to take out my contacts so I couldnt see crap. They hooked up an IV and I was surronded by all these HD vidio screens.  I looked at the clock and it was exactly noon.  Next thing I knew I was awake and looked at the clock and it was 7.30PM.  It hurt and I had some trouble breathing because of all the gas they has pumped into my body but actually felt pretty good. They kept me in the recovery room for an extra hour because by blood pressure was too high but it settled down and I was rolled into a nice room with a computer and TV and stuff.  I made my wife and  kids  go home---they looked exhusted and I wanted to be alone.  I had my phone and there were dozens of texts bascially asking if I were alive.  I answered each text with choice words I can't really repeat here.  About midnight I really started to hurt and called for the nurse.  She was nice and said the that was normal and gave me a shot and I was ok.

    I didn't really sleep the second night either but about 4.30AM the gas left my body.  I will omit the details except to say I was glad it was in the middle of the night.  After that I could breath fine and spent the rest of the night walking slowly around my floor.  The next morning I had 2 cups  of coffee and was discharged.  I went home and took a shower until the water went cold.  Then I put on PJ's for the first time in 45 years and went to the big couch in my living room and watched TV and took perocets for about a week and then came back to work.

    The pathology report came in about a week later and it wasn't what you would call great.  11CM   T3A  Grade 3  Vascular invasion etc.  My 4 month scan was clean and I feel fine.  I will say one thing.......there are certain thing you really dont care about too much after the surgery......things like money.

    sounds like I need to work on

    sounds like I need to work on farting and pooping jokes huh?   oh boy, even at almost 50 I squirm and get embarassed just saying (typing) those words in public!   yIKES!     thank you for sharing Don.  

  • Djinnie
    Djinnie Member Posts: 945 Member
    #36
    val1963 said:

    Brilliant!  I love it and

    Brilliant!  I love it and will try it tonight Galrim!!   Thank you!

    Plan for the future

     

    Hi Val, To reduce fears and stress over the up and coming surgery,why not concentrate your mind on a positive plan of action for a healthier you. Setting up a diet plan, exercise routines or relaxation techniques, any changes that will help you feel you are taking control of your life. The creation of a plan of action will empower you, you will gain strength from that.

    There is lots of information out there regarding lifestyle changes. One thing we all have to remember to do though is drink plenty of water. There are some very good books written by Dr Batmanghelidj, who spent his life studying the damaging effects on the body of dehydration,including the effects on cell structure, it makes interesting reading. Anyway it just an idea to help you through!

    All the best 

    Djinnie

  • Texas_wedge
    Texas_wedge Member Posts: 2,798
    #37
    Djinnie said:

    Plan for the future

     

    Hi Val, To reduce fears and stress over the up and coming surgery,why not concentrate your mind on a positive plan of action for a healthier you. Setting up a diet plan, exercise routines or relaxation techniques, any changes that will help you feel you are taking control of your life. The creation of a plan of action will empower you, you will gain strength from that.

    There is lots of information out there regarding lifestyle changes. One thing we all have to remember to do though is drink plenty of water. There are some very good books written by Dr Batmanghelidj, who spent his life studying the damaging effects on the body of dehydration,including the effects on cell structure, it makes interesting reading. Anyway it just an idea to help you through!

    All the best 

    Djinnie

    Coping strategies

    Galrim's advice gets the thumbs up from some clinical psychologists I know, in addition to his being able to vouch that it really worked for him.

    Djinnie's added advice is very sensible too - both the action and the reason she gives for it. 

    Djinnie, I've not heard of Dr Batmanghelidj - is there a particular title you would recommend?

  • Djinnie
    Djinnie Member Posts: 945 Member
    #38
    Texas_wedge said:

    Coping strategies

    Galrim's advice gets the thumbs up from some clinical psychologists I know, in addition to his being able to vouch that it really worked for him.

    Djinnie's added advice is very sensible too - both the action and the reason she gives for it. 

    Djinnie, I've not heard of Dr Batmanghelidj - is there a particular title you would recommend?

    Books

    Hello Texas,

    Dr Batman's main book 'Your Body's Many Cries for Water' is a good one to start with. There is also 'Water & Salt' and two others on the effects of water. I found his books interesting and felt, for me at least, his studies made a lot of sense.

     Dr Batman was from Iran and was educated at Fettes School in Scotland and later studied under Alexander Fleming. 

    Djinnie

  • Texas_wedge
    Texas_wedge Member Posts: 2,798
    #39
    Djinnie said:

    Books

    Hello Texas,

    Dr Batman's main book 'Your Body's Many Cries for Water' is a good one to start with. There is also 'Water & Salt' and two others on the effects of water. I found his books interesting and felt, for me at least, his studies made a lot of sense.

     Dr Batman was from Iran and was educated at Fettes School in Scotland and later studied under Alexander Fleming. 

    Djinnie

    Dr. Batman

    Thanks Djinnie. 

    I've now chased down a bit more about him.  He seems to be a real maverick and despite his excellent education (I frequently drive past Fettes College when going down to Edinburgh) and studies in London with Fleming, he seems never to have published any academic research.  He seems to be regarded as a crank with a big idée fixe.  However, there's no doubting the importance of water to health and I'm sure he was right in concluding that we tend to drink less of it as we get older and to pay the attendant price.

  • Djinnie
    Djinnie Member Posts: 945 Member
    #40
    Texas_wedge said:

    Dr. Batman

    Thanks Djinnie. 

    I've now chased down a bit more about him.  He seems to be a real maverick and despite his excellent education (I frequently drive past Fettes College when going down to Edinburgh) and studies in London with Fleming, he seems never to have published any academic research.  He seems to be regarded as a crank with a big idée fixe.  However, there's no doubting the importance of water to health and I'm sure he was right in concluding that we tend to drink less of it as we get older and to pay the attendant price.

    Dr B

    I suppose it comes down to 'does the message hold water'.....lol:)

     

    I have the Fettes/Fettis crest on my wall here, it belonged to my Mother, the family name is Fettis.

     

    Djinnie

     

     

  • Texas_wedge
    Texas_wedge Member Posts: 2,798
    #41
    Djinnie said:

    Dr B

    I suppose it comes down to 'does the message hold water'.....lol:)

     

    I have the Fettes/Fettis crest on my wall here, it belonged to my Mother, the family name is Fettis.

     

    Djinnie

     

     

    Don't hold the water!

    I like it! 

    The family crest  - Fettes / Fettis - I hope you're not making a fetish out of it!Laughing

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