Acceptance and Betrayal. (i know you're reading this N. so here it is)

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  • Pam5
    Pam5 Member Posts: 232
    #42
    poplolly said:

    Just my opinion here---I
    Just my opinion here---I think you need to re-evaluate this friendship. It doesn't sound to me like she is your friend. I don't think a true friend would have done what she has. It looks like to me you'd be better off without her kind of friend.

    judy

    Heather,
    I don't know you as
    Heather,

    I don't know you as well as some of the others since I've only been on since July. However, it made me so sad to hear that your "friend" betrayed you and hurt you. I would hope you wouldn't give her the power to change what is so important to you and to the rest of us - your thoughts, feelings, fears, courage, insight, etc. In the short time I've been here it has meant so much to me to be able to say what I've been feeling and to listen to so many of you. You don't have to protect anything from her - if she doesn't like what you say it's totally her problem. She shouldn't be here anyway. I am so glad the cancer is behind you and everyone believes and prays that it will stay that way. However, we've all learned to keep negative people out of our lives. We don't owe them anything and our lives are meant to be lived on a higher plane - you know this. I'm sorry I can't give you a hug in person but please know lots of them are coming from me to you.

    Pam
  • mom62
    mom62 Member Posts: 604 Member
    #43
    Heatherbelle said:

    Cynthia i just had a friend
    Cynthia i just had a friend of mine who isn't one of my "cancer friends" as she says come on to CSN and read all of my posts and then get mad at me for some of the things that I said on here, and we've had a hard time with our friendship since I stopped treatment because I'm not the same as I was before cancer, and we had a big argument yesterday. I have talked in posts on here about our friendship before, and how we were butting heads, and she thought I was replacing her with new friends, and I thought she ws having a hard time accepting the "new me" - and instead of talking it out with me she came onto CSN and looked me up and read through all of my posts on here, and then she got mad because I said things that she didn't like.
    I'm still on here, but I just won't be putting my issues on here - I will still be here to offer my love & support to everyone, but I feel like everything i say on here is going to be under a microscope now and that makes me upset because like i said, this was my "safe place".
    xoxo love you too :)

    N
    Heatherbelle,

    I am a two time cancer survivor. I am still stage 4 with bone mets. I can't tell you what to do but I can tell you of my experience. The first time I had cancer my friends all rallied around me and brought dinners, took my kids when I needed rest and toasted to me when it was all over. I was cancer free for five years. When the cancer came back I ended up losing 3 close friends. They didn't seem to care anymore or call. I decided I couldn't be the one to save the friendships as I was the glue holding them all together in the first place. I know now who my true friends are and they are not those 3 girls I used to think were my close friends. They did not know anything about a real friendship. A true friend stands by you no matter what your choices because they truly love you. My only sadness to this is that one of them was my maid of honor at my wedding. I have learned people come in and out of your life, but the ones who stay are the ones who love you regardless of who you are, what you have done, or who you want to be. If it were me I would tell her to accept me as I am and love me for it or walk away.
  • Different Ballgame
    Different Ballgame Member Posts: 868
    #44
    mom62 said:

    N
    Heatherbelle,

    I am a two time cancer survivor. I am still stage 4 with bone mets. I can't tell you what to do but I can tell you of my experience. The first time I had cancer my friends all rallied around me and brought dinners, took my kids when I needed rest and toasted to me when it was all over. I was cancer free for five years. When the cancer came back I ended up losing 3 close friends. They didn't seem to care anymore or call. I decided I couldn't be the one to save the friendships as I was the glue holding them all together in the first place. I know now who my true friends are and they are not those 3 girls I used to think were my close friends. They did not know anything about a real friendship. A true friend stands by you no matter what your choices because they truly love you. My only sadness to this is that one of them was my maid of honor at my wedding. I have learned people come in and out of your life, but the ones who stay are the ones who love you regardless of who you are, what you have done, or who you want to be. If it were me I would tell her to accept me as I am and love me for it or walk away.

    Mom62 You Said It Beautifully
    Dear Mom62 and Heatherbelle,

    Heed Mom62's words. She said it beautifully. Accept me as I am and love me for it or walk away.

    Lots of Love,
    Janelle
  • mom62
    mom62 Member Posts: 604 Member
    #45
    Different Ballgame said:

    Mom62 You Said It Beautifully
    Dear Mom62 and Heatherbelle,

    Heed Mom62's words. She said it beautifully. Accept me as I am and love me for it or walk away.

    Lots of Love,
    Janelle

    Thanks
    Hi Jenelle,

    Thanks for your kind words. I have lived a lifetime in the past eight years and that was the truest thing I learned.

    Love,
    Terry
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143 Member
    #46
    Ugh.
    What a small and petty thing this so-called friend is doing. To come to a cancer support group website to spy on you and then confront you on what she read is beyond low. Screw it. I would keep posting. If she can't handle the truth, she should stop reading. Anyway, you're a big part of this group and it's a shame that you're feeling driven off. So sorry, Heather.

    Mimi
  • jo jo
    jo jo Member Posts: 1,175
    #47
    Your stalker effects us all!!!
    Heather i know im chimin in a little late on this but i just seen this and want to add my two cents. I also had someone stalking my posts and i believe it was for his own personal gain. I discovered this accidently and i never let him know that i knew. This is when i started backing off from this board...which has been quite some time ago. I did not want to post anything letting him know instead i down played it and just told him i dont go there any more and i only posted once in awhile. The reason i did this was becuz i wanted to be able to come back once i got him convinced i dont come here and i think it worked. But i am still leary that maybe one day he will pop back in.
    I wish that this board could change a little to were you have to sign in to view anything and the way it is now you dont have to...just get on the sight and there it all is ...the only difference is you cant write anything but stalkers just want to view, not write posts. I say make it just a little challenging cuz right now its just to easy for people like my stalker and your friend N. I think if they have to sign in they would have second thoughts cuz theres a chance they could get caught.
    Its really sad that people do things like this...yes its a big betral! Yet they dont understand ...how could they unless they have been there. Whats worse is when they do it to be mean. You then have to say what kind of person does that?
    That just really sux that you dont feel safe here now cuz your a big part of this board and its sad that one person like that can effect this whole board cuz shes not just effecting you. Shes effected this whole board cuz now we dont get the pleasure of your posts as before when you were comfortable on here...it makes a difference for EVERYONE!
    I pitty people like her and my stalker!!!
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #48
    jo jo said:

    Your stalker effects us all!!!
    Heather i know im chimin in a little late on this but i just seen this and want to add my two cents. I also had someone stalking my posts and i believe it was for his own personal gain. I discovered this accidently and i never let him know that i knew. This is when i started backing off from this board...which has been quite some time ago. I did not want to post anything letting him know instead i down played it and just told him i dont go there any more and i only posted once in awhile. The reason i did this was becuz i wanted to be able to come back once i got him convinced i dont come here and i think it worked. But i am still leary that maybe one day he will pop back in.
    I wish that this board could change a little to were you have to sign in to view anything and the way it is now you dont have to...just get on the sight and there it all is ...the only difference is you cant write anything but stalkers just want to view, not write posts. I say make it just a little challenging cuz right now its just to easy for people like my stalker and your friend N. I think if they have to sign in they would have second thoughts cuz theres a chance they could get caught.
    Its really sad that people do things like this...yes its a big betral! Yet they dont understand ...how could they unless they have been there. Whats worse is when they do it to be mean. You then have to say what kind of person does that?
    That just really sux that you dont feel safe here now cuz your a big part of this board and its sad that one person like that can effect this whole board cuz shes not just effecting you. Shes effected this whole board cuz now we dont get the pleasure of your posts as before when you were comfortable on here...it makes a difference for EVERYONE!
    I pitty people like her and my stalker!!!

    I hope both of you girls have been reading these posts
    N:
    Without permission you read Heather's personal dairy, which was posted on the Cancer Survivors website. Your violated her privacy and then you have had goats confronting her and made conditional requests. You are jealous to her "cancer friends" - how funny is this? Being jealous to people with cancer, really? Never thought it could be possible...
    Heather,
    I am sorry for your situation and cannot give you advice, however...
    Are you sure you want to stay friends with this person who is very immoral and selfish trying to control you even in your thoughts and feelings.

    Heather,
    Hugs to you

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