feel like I am going insane

Heatherbelle said:

i've been there too
Hi Laura *hugs*
I've gone through the same thing. I've been on anti-depressants half of my life after being diagnosed as manic depressive when i was 20. My depression and anxiety worsened AFTER my treatments stopped. It's been about 10 months since i finished chemo & im just now starting to see a little light at the end of the tunnel. I've been to therapists, and that has helped. I also have been journaling & writing at night before I go to bed, it helps me to "empty out" ann the negative stuff I'm feeling. I have added another anti-depressant after I went to my Dr. last month because my zoloft just didn't seem to be doing it for me anymore. I still get anxious by all the "what-ifs" but i have just accepted that - im doing ALL that I can to fight this, i've had bilateral mastectomies, chemo, im having a complete hysterectomy next month because i've found out im BRCA1 + - i eat healthy, have made fitness a priority in my life, and i live my life with the mindset that my tomorrow is not guaranteed, so I enjoy the little things, i tell those close to me that i love them every day, i try and find joy in all that i do. I don't sweat the small stuff. It's taken me a long time to get to this point, and i still have struggles. I'm sorry you're feeling down, I have been there myself & still have my "off" days. My suggestion would be to see your Dr. about tweaking your anti-depressants. And keep seeing your counselor at your cancer center. Just getting your feelings out is so helpful. Maybe consider journaling at the end of the day? I don't have an official journal - sometimes i write in a notebook, sometimes it will be in the form of an email to a friend, or my husband (and i rarely send them-the point is to just get the feelings out of your head to keep them from clogging up your thoughts!)
Sending you lots of love & hugs
-heather

Thanks all for replies
Finally today got a prescription for effexor at the out patient mental health center ... Going there was good today though I am the old lady in the room for sure - lots of college age kids with depression and other mental health issues. I just felt that I could not wait another day for treatment, I felt that mitt only was I going nuts, but I couldn't get anyone in the health community to listen to me - and when we have already been through so much with the medical/physical side dealing with the emotional side is tough since we're already exhausted at times! So - two more days of outpatient mental health treatment for me and then on to radiation/xeloda starting moon aug 15...- and hopefully will see mood improvements between the new meeds and the intensive therapy.

Blessings,

Laura

Heatherbelle said:

i've been there too
Hi Laura *hugs*
I've gone through the same thing. I've been on anti-depressants half of my life after being diagnosed as manic depressive when i was 20. My depression and anxiety worsened AFTER my treatments stopped. It's been about 10 months since i finished chemo & im just now starting to see a little light at the end of the tunnel. I've been to therapists, and that has helped. I also have been journaling & writing at night before I go to bed, it helps me to "empty out" ann the negative stuff I'm feeling. I have added another anti-depressant after I went to my Dr. last month because my zoloft just didn't seem to be doing it for me anymore. I still get anxious by all the "what-ifs" but i have just accepted that - im doing ALL that I can to fight this, i've had bilateral mastectomies, chemo, im having a complete hysterectomy next month because i've found out im BRCA1 + - i eat healthy, have made fitness a priority in my life, and i live my life with the mindset that my tomorrow is not guaranteed, so I enjoy the little things, i tell those close to me that i love them every day, i try and find joy in all that i do. I don't sweat the small stuff. It's taken me a long time to get to this point, and i still have struggles. I'm sorry you're feeling down, I have been there myself & still have my "off" days. My suggestion would be to see your Dr. about tweaking your anti-depressants. And keep seeing your counselor at your cancer center. Just getting your feelings out is so helpful. Maybe consider journaling at the end of the day? I don't have an official journal - sometimes i write in a notebook, sometimes it will be in the form of an email to a friend, or my husband (and i rarely send them-the point is to just get the feelings out of your head to keep them from clogging up your thoughts!)
Sending you lots of love & hugs
-heather

Thanks all for replies
Finally today got a prescription for effexor at the out patient mental health center ... Going there was good today though I am the old lady in the room for sure - lots of college age kids with depression and other mental health issues. I just felt that I could not wait another day for treatment, I felt that mitt only was I going nuts, but I couldn't get anyone in the health community to listen to me - and when we have already been through so much with the medical/physical side dealing with the emotional side is tough since we're already exhausted at times! So - two more days of outpatient mental health treatment for me and then on to radiation/xeloda starting moon aug 15...- and hopefully will see mood improvements between the new meeds and the intensive therapy.

Blessings,

Laura

smalldoggroomer said:

I am so happy you are
I am so happy you are feeling better.. It sounds like you are on the right road now. I am in aw at how strong a person you are. You are a true inspiration. Take care darlin Kay,

Started the radiation and xelida yesterday
Today, again at 2:30 is my second treatment. Spent three days in the outpatient program of our local hospital and it haloed me a lot to get out of my one problems and see other people had issues too, not related to cancer. I go there again tomorrow. Felling a bit anxious today as I am at hone , trying to straighten up my house but being home with no set schedule seems to set off my anxieties... If I am out and doing things I don't feel them as much.


Reminding myself continually to stay in the present moment as my anxious thoughts all relate to the future - and no one knows what the future jolts so imaging terrible outcomes is not only anxiety producing, it is useless.

Laura