Looking for Honest post-surgery ED expectations / feedback
Hi members-
I'm new and this is my 1st post…I had DaVinci assist radical prostatectomy…I am 14 months out and still no firm erections even though I check off all the boxes on someone who should be up and running by now (healthy, not overweight, 57 at time of surgery, doc said both nerves were spared, non-smoker, not a big drinker, sexually active before, stimulated myself after, taking cialis for last 9 months, etc.)… I've seemed to have "plateaued" as far as erection firmness (about 1/2 of what I used to be pre-surgery) for the last 3 months at least…not getting any better even with cialis and/or viagra…not firm enough for sex or intercourse…MY QUESTION FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE A SIMILAR EXPERIENCE IS: if your firm erection came back….did it happen "overnight" or was it a gradual increase…like 50% hard, then a month later 75% hard, then a month later 90% hard, etc…or, did it just magically return to former glory overnight one day and it's been fully functioning ever since? thx for honest feedback/experiences
Comments
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Hi,
I also had the Davinci surgery and went from soft to about 75% of what I use to be in about a year and a half. Mine was more like 3mo to 3 mo progress(slow) and not the rapid progression you are talking about. Everyone is different depending on how badly the nerves were damaged, age, ect. You might want to look into various pelvic floor exercises that can strengthen those small muscles that help in getting and maintaining erections. Your Urologist should be able to put you in touch with a person who specializes in pelvic floor rehab. Good luck and don’t give up hope.
Dave 3+4
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No I’m still at around 75-80%, trying some new pelvic floor exercises looking for a boost. No pills, took some Viagra several years ago, gave me a bad face flushing, never went back.
Dave 3+4
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Mr Johnson now has one function and sex isn’t one of them. I’ve taken pills, exercise regularly, eat well and invest heavily in Depends! Dr said my surgery was “nerve sparing”, but I doubt that is entirely true. If I had it to do over again, I’d be watchful waiting (or AS, whatever they call it) and still chasing my wife of 57 years around the house. I’m really not complaining, but I am giving you what you wanted - Truth.
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You want honesty? You are getting it, as it should be in this Discussion Board. I'm 13 years into my PCa journey, after initially having Da Vinci prostatectomy, and I've never been able to get an erection since the surgery.
There is so much more to life and a relationship with your wife, and sexual satisfaction, other than penetration sex. If you don't see it, then you are missing out on a lot of true quality of life. We're having our 50th wedding anniversary this weekend, and we've never been closer to each other.
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yes, it's much better if you were in a committed relationship and/or marriage PRE surgery…much more difficult for single men though….in the end, I hear more stories of "sex simply doesn't happen after" than "yes, I am back to where I was pre-surgery" accounts…which kind of makes me think most men are NOT given the true side-effects with percentages before they go into surgery… if only 10% or 20% of all of the thousands of men that have the surgery each year ever return to their pre-surgery form…..I assume most would NOT opt for the surgery in the first place…but I was told by my doctor that the percentages were much higher…from what I have been reading it doesn't seem like that is the truth, though…. ;-(
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Well said @Josephg
I am two years out from radiation with ADT (2 six month shots of Lupron). Despite the nasty side effects of the Lupron, I am happy to be able to say that my Urologist just congratulated me on a continuing PSA of <.03 for the last two years. While they won't say "cure" they will say "no detectable disease." The icing on the cake is that my testosterone is recovering nicely and my libido has returned.
My wife and I are both 78 and will celebrate our 57th anniversary in June. We have found that erections aren't necessary to have a satisfactory relationship with an understanding partner and a positive attitude.
Happy to have beat back the cancer and looking forward to many more years of enjoying life.
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nativemi,
You definitely are getting some truthfully brutal answers but it is important to keep in perspective that you are asking a set of members that are skewed towards some more unfortunate outcomes that get support in their continuing side effects. A posting may get hundreds of views, but maybe 15 responses and it is often the same group primarily posting. You must consider most patients having undergone a radical prostatectomy are told erectile function can take 12 to 18 months. They likely if happy or content by that time have moved on from this site. I am mostly returned after 8 months with the use of Viagra. In addition you can tell by the thousands and thousands of prostatectomy’s over the years, the number posting on this site is a speck. By far more patients likely go through surgery with minimal side effects. This is not to take away from the valuable information and commentary and suggestions that you can receive from the members, as the site helped me prepare pre op, recovery and post op and in actuality I was getting ready to drop off. Please remain positive.
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thx, wheel…
accurate info. and honest testimonials are only what I am hoping to receive here… of course, even dozens of postings do not tell the whole story…but for someone like you - can you tell me how long it took you to get back to whatever your baseline (for intercourse-able condition) was….I am at 14 months and not close to being firm enough to have sex…18 months is 1 1/2 years…and only 5 months away for me now….how long did it take YOU - even with the help of viagra? 12 months? 14 months? 18 months? etc….I have heard stories that some men come back at the 3 year mark but surely those are the exceptions and not the rule…since AGE is also a factor, I am just curious on where to find information about the AVERAGE TIME it takes an otherwise healthy man in his 50s or early 60s (non smoker, non heavy drinker, sexually active, nerve sparing surgery, etc etc….) to expect things to normalize either with a pill or without…. are there no studies done with similar cohorts for AVERAGE TIME to heal??? having 100 different studies conclude 100 different outcomes is like having ZERO information…since it would lead me to believe everything and nothing is true ….. ????
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I was one month from turning 72 at the time of surgery. I was good up to my surgery without the need for any viagra. I actually figured I was doing darn good at 71 without the need for assistance when it says by the 70’s a good percentage of men are having ED problems. I figured I was on borrowed time regardless. After surgery I was placed on a 20% daily dose of viagra to keep blood flow. For the first month with my catheter in for 11 days of that it was the least of my concerns. I was told by my doctor to basically let everything rest for the first 60 days. Although I had nerve sparing he said the nerves sustain significant trauma during surgery and that trauma needs to be healed. On occasion I could tell my organ was beginning to feel something in the morning. After the 60 days he then told me to try a date night with a full dose of Viagra. I was pleasantly surprised with my result and was totally happy. I will say although I can feel something arousal without Viagra, it is clear I need to use it now when my wife and I plan a date night.
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wow…well I guess its entirely random on healing time….I was active with no ED problems before surgery….doc said he spared both nerves but I didn't feel ANY type of stimulation for at least 6 months…at that time I was happy for any growth or enlargement which could not have been more than 50% and not nearly firm enough for sex…but that was 6 months ago and I have only made minor gains since then…maybe call it 60% - 70% now - or about 2/3 of where I was previously…I take cialis and have tried in the past to take viagra with a date but….still no discerning difference for me….I don't think the viagra does ANYTHING for me, frankly…. so I'll keep watching the clock hoping whatever nerve damage preventing a full erection will heal itself….
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Three months post op for my RARP and nerves were spared. Age 62, healthy, fit, etc. as you listed above. No where near what I would call an erection but seeing some progress with a little bit of firmness. My Physical Therapist indicated the nerves would be the last to recover from surgery and not to expect erections for maybe 12+/- months at the earliest. Surgeon prescribed daily dose of Sildenafil with the goal of encouraging blood flow for surgery recovery and continence rather than erections. Also doing daily pelvic exercises but once again the goal of continence which is progressing well. As another tool to address continence (and future erections?) by encouraging blood flow my Physical Therapist recommended a Penis Pump. The pump has helped me regain some penis size and a little firmness and seems to be taking me in the right direction. You might consider a pump, I excerpted my comments from my Hints and Tips thread below. Good luck, hope you get where you want to be now that you’ve added some extra post-cancer years to your life
Penis Pump: My PT also recommended using a penis pump to encourage blood flow for healing and maybe getting erections again. The “medical” grade pumps on the hospitals recommended list were $250-$300. I went to the local Adult Sex store and found a half dozen models less than $50. Some were better made than others so shopping online might have you end up with a cheaply made one.Embarrassment: As an old man (62) it was a little embarrassing discussing topics with young women (30’s) and trying not to be a creepy old man. Don’t be embarrassed, simply discuss your needs and questions with your medical professionals. My PT was very knowledgeable and was able to answer my questions and address my frustrations. Even at the sex store the female clerk who offered to help put me at ease. I explained the purpose for buying a pump and she was able to help me make a selection, it felt no different than shopping at the pharmacy.
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thx for your thoughts, kittyslayer…
a pump doesn't work for me for a variety of reasons but…after 14 months I can get perhaps to 2/3 of where I would say I used to be so, my penis does swell, but…nothing you can use for intercourse ….it's a long ways from being firm enough for that… so in the end I wonder if the medical community lists these results as a "success rate" when it's not what is needed to have intercourse…and the numbers online from various "studies" are all over the map and contrarian…some studies say 50% of men have erections that can achieve intercourse after 12 months….I find that hard to believe, but maybe I am just not one of the lucky ones despite all my aggragating factors being positive and not negative…. I mentioned in the original post I seem to have "plateaued" from where I was at month 6-9….no real gains since then…. 🤔
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Sounds like you and I are very similar.
I was diagnosed at 58 and him now 14 months post nerve sparing da Vinci prostatectomy. I had 100% function preop and now can achieve about a 75 to 80% erection that’s not really suitable for penetration.
Consider being more aggressive, Including using a vacuum device (very cheap on Amazon), with silicone bands around the base of your penis after pumping. Not romantic or spontaneous, but you certainly can practice with it at home.
Even consider injection. It is definitely not my favorite thing to do, however, the 31 gauge needles are not that uncomfortable. and with trimix I get 100% normal erections. You just need to be careful not to overdose but your urologist should be able to instruct you on the useI think one shortfall of many urologists is feeling like the journey is over once the cancer treatment is completed. There is not enough focus on rehabilitation and getting back to where you were before we started on this path.
Happy to give more details if you or anyone else is interested. There is good evidence to suggest daily dose of Viagra and Cialis, full strength, post prostatectomy AIDS rehabilitation. I’ve been taking 100 mg Viagra doses daily for the past four months. Not sure if it’s been helping. I will include the article link below.
jc2 -
thx for the comments, jc….
so, after 14 months you also are not where you were pre-surgery….so if you were to try to have intercourse can you do so with either viagra or cialis? or are you saying you can only achieve a 100% erection (near back to where you started pre-surgery) if you were to get an injection….I am not at the point where I would try that yet and I can't see how viable that would be in the long run anyway…I have heard injections are helpful to rehabilitate and stretch the muscles but scarring can occur if done regularly so, it wouldn't be an option for me…
yes, my urologist basically gave me only the positive of having the cancer removed and none of the negatives….
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You are correct, the only way I can get 100% erections like pre- is with injections. Viagra works better than Cialis for me, but I still only get a partial response(viagra + manual stimulation). On the review article I attached, injections as well as daily max dose Viagra seem to be a benefit in rehabbing erections. I’m hoping I continue to improve. I understand your hesitancy about injections. I would only encourage you to not discount them entirely. They do work well.
Consider using a vacuum pump and cycling your penis to get fully erect (you can keep the cylinder on your penis) for 10 minutes at a time a few days a week so you minimize loss of length due to lack of erections.Good luck to you, my friend.
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thx, jc…. I will post updates here if things imrove….hoping for your success as well….if we both hit the 18 month mark without marked improvement I will be disappointed but guess the window goes up to a full 24 months (though that would seem to be contrary to all expectations for us both)
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