Oh how I wish for my life back...
Hello all, I'm new here. I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer stage 1 back in May of 2021. I had surgery in early June 2021 (full hysterectomy, etc), then a breast biopsy (turned out okay) and a port put in. I started 6 rounds of chemo with the carboplatin and taxol in July 2021, and I had my last round Nov 17, 2021. I am having my first follow-up testing this coming Thursday with labs, a survivorship meeting and a scan. I'm scared to learn the results which will be Jan 4th. I still have nausea sometimes. The fatigue is getting better, but I still get tired easily. If I do a lot one day, then the next day I have to rest. I cry so often. I don't have an appetite still and have to make myself eat. I drink Boost and bone broth to help with nutrition. I feel like there will never be a day when I don't have to think about cancer the rest of my life. I'm so sick of being sick. Anyone else feel that way? Anyone else still have nausea, fatigue, lack of appetite not quite six weeks after your last chemo infusion? I did call the 24/7 Helpline yesterday, and they were great. She sent me a document on distress. I feel almost all of those things on the list. It's been suggested that things happened so fast that only now has it slowed down enough for me to start processing that I got a cancer diagnosis and that my life will forever be different. I think distressed is a good description of how I feel. You? I really haven't told very many people - only immediate family and a couple of friends. I guess it's still hard to say it out loud.
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dear midnightbreeze. I wish I could hug you - so let me assure you everything you are feeling is normal and I am so glad to reached out to the Helpline. As you said, 'fatigue is better' and it really does keep getting better!!! (I promise!) You just beat the heck out of your body so it just takes time.
I am a visitor from the Uterine board and visit my sister gyn warriors! This is a safe place with people who understand. It helps to know you are not alone. Again - hugs dear one!
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I agree with the above comment, I felt your post in my chest. I’m only skimming through the website as I’m awaiting a biopsy for endometrium thickness. I’m sorry your post didn’t get more responses and hope you are well. I’m new to this website and came across your post. I really wish for the best for you and hope you are okay. Please update us with how things are going best wishes you are so strong.
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i was diagnosed july 21, stage 3had surgery and 6 rounds of carbo/taxol
jusr finished end of december … now I am on Lynparza as my maintenance drug for supposedly three years, I also have epilepsy and I had to change my seizure medication to go on that. I will be going back to work soon and will be starting with four days which I know will be exhausting. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing with myself now. I walk a lot I walk my dog a lot my husband is in a fog, I think he’s walking on eggshells, I have a 20 year old son and I’m not really sure about what I’m supposed to be doing with myself now I wish there was a support group down the street from me that I could go sit with people and not have to do this.
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Thanks for your response it’s so good to at least hear back an update, I’m hoping for good news as you continue with the medicine. As far as not knowing what to do with yourself, even without an official diagnosis that is the story of my life 😩 I took up art and I actually really love that! I can’t draw to save my life but, I’m finding a way to add color to photos I have personally taken and they are coming out so beautiful! The support groups would be great for you, where are you located? I know here in NV they have meetups for people, wanting to meet and talk or do similar things. I can not begin to imagine what your going through and I know it’s not the same as talking to someone who’s actually going through the same things are you, but if you ever would like to talk I’m here even if it’s to vent about a bad day. Keep your head up and your smile big even when you can’t find the strength to do so. I hope to hear back from you again :)!
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hi! sitting here with cement shoes on, trying to find a local counselor.
-too windy to walk today, focusing on my eyebrows coming in big time and my salt/pepper hair coming in !
I’m supposedly going back to work 4 days a week March 1st, terrified that I won’t be on my game..
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Good morning,
it’s very windy today here too but sun is out so that’s a good thing. Finding a counselor is a great idea. I hope your able to find one that you can vent to and hopefully that will help with everything. You can message me as well. March 1st sounds exciting but I’m sure that if your not “on your game” it’s going to be okay. What kind of work do you do? I start school as a CNA on March 1st I’m very nervous because I have always been a stay at home mom so I have high anxiety. I will definitely think of you since you will be going back to work this day. I hope you have a wonderful day nonetheless.
hope to hear back from you soon take care :)!
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Hi-found a counselor !! someone i’ve known forever and popped back into my life .. amazing what a half hour can do ! She actually sent me a copy of the Serenity Prayer .. words to live by …
I did buy a new pair of pants for work, weeded a flower bed and walked the boardwalk ( wind almost gone )
I’m a designer/sales at a furniture store - I feel like i’m out of the loop i need to refresh my memory
about my customers furniture 😳
What is a CNA -sounds mysterious ….
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How amazing!!! That’s even better someone you know. Besides what’s going on I had actually seeked out a counselor last month for anxiety but just didn’t work out with my insurance.
I know my church has live services not sure if you are religious but, I feel like when I’ve been down lately they always brighten me up somehow. In case I’ll leave you the link.
CNA (certified nursing assistant) basically we do the grunt work of the nurses lol. Well kinda least what I have heard 🤷🏽♀️I’m excited for it though it’s going to be a whole new world for me but I use to be a medical assistant and miss the medical field. I took a pic for you from my trip to this local museum we went to today. Being outside and getting fresh air helped me so much to ease stress I need to do that more often.
your job sounds so fun, I love sales I use to work at a phone company years ago. I loved the customers you’ll be fine. I’m happy for you sounds like a great day over all.
bummer doesn’t let me post the pic sorry but it was beautiful lol anyways hope your counseling sessions go well looking forward to hearing how it goes. Stay strong and stay positive. My favorite book of the Bible is the book of job, ever since I was little and first heard it I always referred back to it.
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i found a counselor to talk to !! but hearing that you called a hotline and actually got results is amazing ..
trying to navigate insurance and distance is ridiculous .. hitting the boards today to make sure the ocean is still there .. fresh air and exercise seem to do it for me , plus i sleep better ..
you’re right about the diagnosis and your life being forever changed , hard to wrap my head around it .,!
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How amazing!!! That’s even better someone you know. Besides what’s going on I had actually seeked out a counselor last month for anxiety but just didn’t work out with my insurance.
I know my church has live services not sure if you are religious but, I feel like when I’ve been down lately they always brighten me up somehow. In case I’ll leave you the link.
CNA (certified nursing assistant) basically we do the grunt work of the nurses lol. Well kinda least what I have heard 🤷🏽♀️I’m excited for it though it’s going to be a whole new world for me but I use to be a medical assistant and miss the medical field. I took a pic for you from my trip to this local museum we went to today. Being outside and getting fresh air helped me so much to ease stress I need to do that more often.
your job sounds so fun, I love sales I use to work at a phone company years ago. I loved the customers you’ll be fine. I’m happy for you sounds like a great day over all.
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Hello, I guess I never sent that last message I’m sorry. I am just seeing. It said post comment guess I’ll be double writing in a way. Just wanted to see how you were doing? I’ve been a little down and soo emotional these past few days. It has everything to do with my hormones from being on my Aunt Flo. 😣I’m usually not like that. Anyways hope all is better off for you. :)!
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You are not alone with all of the heavy emotion. I agree that it's hard in a new and deeper way once chemo is over. You will continue to feel better and better physically, and your emotional processing of the true trauma of the experience will be a journey. I have noticed that about every two weeks I need to have a BIG cry...and then I feel better. And then the cycle starts again. Exercise and being outside as much as possible in nature really helps lift my spirits. Wishing you healing in all ways.
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hi - just seeing this .. a week off my medication , crazy side effects and low white count .. back on meds today
its beautiful today and i am repotting plants , weeding( in march!) and walking my dog and myself !! the only way i can get out of my own head is to keep busy and distract myself .. the girl i talk to to keep my head on straight sent me the Serenity prayer and that has kicked in !! which is great ..
told my boss i’m not ready to come back to work and he’s fine with it and brought me cake 😝
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I should do some plant potting myself! By the way I suck at planting but the only plant I have that’s survived is a bonsai tree. I got it so small and it’s my baby now.
Ginseng ficus bonsai is the name I got it at ikea and my mom and husband laughed it would die. I have had it over a year now and it’s doing great. I rescued a dog from the shelter because I just felt so broken and wanted to help a dog maybe feeling the same way I do. 🤷🏽♀️
So this dog is a English bulldog who’s gonna need a few surgeries nobody wanted to pay or deal with surgery so he was getting passed up.
I’m happy to hear you went with your gut about going back to work. Hope your cake was delicious :)! I actually never started my school for CNA , they mixed me up and have me starting in May but I am working on starting a cleaning business so not too sure about that Cna for now. Well today is my biopsy day, my husband was going to go with me but I am actually a bit happy he can’t go he’s freaked out by anything that looks painful haha. So your getting married? 🤗it’s been 10 years for me.
the serenity prayer is beautiful and I always love to remember the book of job during hard times. Well I’m going to update what the doctor says later on. I’m looking for good news.
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Haha i’m not the one getting married been married for thirty years 😝
it’s easy to get these posts mixed up
halfway into my walk now it’s beautiful out taking advantage
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NoTimeForCancer said: "I am a visitor from the Uterine board and visit my sister gyn warriors!" Me too. I still have fatigue 6 wks out. The pain, nausea, and dizziness are receding. My appetite has (mostly) been too good; I gained 15 lbs during chemo! :-(
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I have had a sarcoma for 22 year, chemo 10 years ago.. I struggle everyday. Still don’t feel hungry a lot I fixate on certain foods when I am hungry. Find something you love example animals, hobby distract yourself. Animals force me to get out of bed my horses can’t feed themselves. It will get easier you will have days, scans, bad news, high rate for multiple cancers because of radiation/chemo that didn’t work. Find simple pleasures, it’s not easy, let yourself cry when you need to. Write in a journal reading my chemo journey was good to read years later. Your human normal healthy people struggle. Be patient with yourself.
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Hi yes right behind you. I thought I was reading my story💞 2 yrs body aches, neuropathy, fatigue see 4 doctors.. Passed bloody tissue when going to bathroom often last Aug-Sept. 2 biopsies stage 1 endometrial adenocarcinoma.11/21. Jan 22 laparoscopic hysterectomy lymph node dissection. Didn't get all the calls out. April checkup post-op.. Dr says Jan 2023 you should be dancing NY in. May22 metastasized 5 places stage 4 chemo since June...2 more to go, divorce all hopefully over in October. Got approved SSDi because I jmhavve kidney disease, chemo neuropathy, other underlying conditions found with the cancer...mostly tmrekating to blood sugar and genetic hypertension. My cancer is genetic BRCA 2 and indicative of Lynch...I'm alone and take care of me a few people check in but I'm alone. I'm thinking about how I'm going to live my new life....Down the road...How about you???
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