Moli at another cross roads and mentally crying out loud.

molimoli

Cucu me said:

Moli is brave

Believe it in or not I started chemo on June 17.

Today I noticed my hair started to fall...

Yeah,such a journey we have.

Cuculigata I believe it, Be hopeful with your treatment,

It is what we have,  I wish you much success , Try not to be distressed about the hair ,it will grow back for sure.We will be with you all the while just reach out we are huggers, the ladies here are good with breaking falls, hope your low days are few.   HaHa! I don't know about brave. I have seen cancer cause people to eat their words about treatment many times, We may have to redefine brave moving forward, but I am going on a diet I am not eating  any words,we'll see,  OOOOH I NEED JE--SUS. ( eyes rolling up to the sky) 

                                                                                             Feel the hugg. Moli

                                                                                    

Cucu me

molimoli said:

Cuculigata I believe it, Be hopeful with your treatment,

It is what we have,  I wish you much success , Try not to be distressed about the hair ,it will grow back for sure.We will be with you all the while just reach out we are huggers, the ladies here are good with breaking falls, hope your low days are few.   HaHa! I don't know about brave. I have seen cancer cause people to eat their words about treatment many times, We may have to redefine brave moving forward, but I am going on a diet I am not eating  any words,we'll see,  OOOOH I NEED JE--SUS. ( eyes rolling up to the sky) 

                                                                                             Feel the hugg. Moli

                                                                                    

thanks for the whole support

I deal somehow with the hair loss.

On Friday is my second chemo, and I don't remember what you ladies said about it...

Is it getting worse or could be better than the first?

ConnieSW

Cucu me said:

thanks for the whole support

I deal somehow with the hair loss.

On Friday is my second chemo, and I don't remember what you ladies said about it...

Is it getting worse or could be better than the first?

2nd chemo

For me the misererable aching didnt happen but the fatigue was worse.

Kaleena

molimoli said:

New scan / update

Hello my sisters, Good morning, This is a new  pit stop on  my journey,

THORAX

Scan report : There is no nodal enlargement

                     The pleural surfaces are clear

                      The central airways are clear

                      The  right lung shows no interval change 

                      The Left lung shows no interval change

                       No  interval change is demonstrated

There is no evidence for intrathoracic metastatic disease.

PELVIS :          No liver mass, pancreas,spleen,adrenal glands and kidneys are normal, no hydronephrosis ,no lymphadenopathy.

Impression      The  two Nodules in the anterior pelvis  are larger in keeping with progression. measuring 5.7 x 4.9  (was 3.7 x3.4)

                                                                                                                                             )         3.6  x2.6   (was 3x.2. 2)

            That's the report, I did not get to see my usual oncologist she sent her fellow to talk to me  as they sometimes do . The fellow doctor started off by telling me that "You have many small tumors and 2 large one and we think you must have chemotherapy ,we have to start asap."  I asked her where the many small ones are  she couldnt tell me ,I immediately knew that her job is to frighten me into chemo, I felt Dis-appointed that a doctor would bear false news  to have their program fed . I immediately asked for the oncologist to see me as I needed to discuss surgery ,I knew she was in the unit ,the fellow offered to relay my message to her . The fellow returned to say the oncologist  was busy and that they run a chemo clinic  and since it is obvious that I am not signing up today they can't do anything for me until then,I asked her to  transfer my file to the surgical oncologist that had offered to review and possibly do surgery if there are no other masses found. I again asked where the other many masses are,again the question was side swiped. not a good sign for me, an obvious sales pitch,I asked the success rate that she has seen from the  treatment proposed, she said " 25 % will  gain average 6 months of ned,75 %  we are failing as they will progress through treatment with this kind of  cancer ,all over the world "   for that reason I am out so I told her that at this time  my answer is still no to chemo and thanks for transferring my file to the  surgeon, She was not pleased at all but neither was I.,so we are even, I fully understand that my oncologist is the head of the chemo dept,is very brilliant  with good bedside manners and experienced but  chemo is the business they run,and chemo is the brute I am running from. until such time that it catches me by default.

 

Before leaving the Hospital I  obtained a copy of the report and nothing in it stated that I had MANY ANYTHING. and I am a lot annoyed at the tatics for its smell of dishonesty.

My appt. with surgeon is on the 14th so i'll see. If she can't or won't take the 2 masses before they start compramising other structures I will go hunting for a good surgeon in another hosp., we have many good cancer surgeon and centers in this country.  I am on team Moli,  So my sisters ,how do you suppose I can keep the new masses away for now? any suggestions welcome.

I repeat ,We are all different people and my decisions on treatment doesn't mean yours is wrong ,I may be dead wrong (literally ) but I will be doing the rest of my life my way , Informed, stepping out of the box, opening my mind , living  and fighting..

 

 

 

 

Impression : There is no strong evidence for intrathoracic Metastatic disease.

I understand your frustration

Moli, I truly understand your frustration.   Right prior to my 5 year mark, I had a new gyne/onc because my original one retired.   I saw this guy several times and still hadn't gotten the warm fuzzy feeling nor did he ever do any of the exams.  He always had his interns do it.   So when I had a scan (which previously this doctor said was fine) reread because the report said I was an 80 year old woman (at the time I was 49), when he got the report back he said I had a recurrence.  I have had a small soft tissue mass that had been there.   I wanted to meet with him to discuss this stuff.  When I got there, all he wanted me to do was sign the paperwork, get a PET Scan, schedule the biopsy and he told me that I would need chemo to shrink it and surgery and that I would end up with a permanent colostomy.    This is the same guy who didn't know where my paperwork was when I got there and never even performed an actual exam on me.   He wanted the biopsy done in two days because he was going on vacation.  Needlessto say I said no.   I still had a port and when I went to get it flushed, they said no you are to get chemo.   I said definitely not.  Just a port flush.   Because I didn't go get the biopsy, he wrote on my chart client seeking help elsewhere.   Also, he wanted me for a study too.

Then I went to another hopsital and had the biopsy which came back positive.  But this doctor used to work with the other one and wanted me back over there.   I had to leave the state altogether because I didn't trust anyone by this time.  I was also told that it was inoperable.

I went to another doctor in another state.  They retested the results which were positive but he said he thought he could do the surgery and a short one at that.  He did the surgery and the mass itself turns out it was benign.  He did find a lymph node that had microscopic cells in it though.   From that day forward, I have been on a wait and see approach.  I did not do any type of treatment. (2010)

Currently, I have another soft tissue mass.   Originally it was 2.6 x 1.6 cm with a SUV of 2.4 (on PET scans) it is now 6 x 2.1 cm with a current SUV of 3.4.   I have had 5 PET scans since last year.  It has also caused hydroureternophrosis for which I now regularly get stent changes for.  I had the mass biopsied in April of 2014 but the part they biopsied was negative.   They couldn't biopsy the part that lit up on PET scans.  They still think it is just scar tissue.

However, my urologist wants to do an implant surgery (removing my ureter and replacing it into another part of my bladder so that I don't have to have stent changes every 3 months).   My gyn/onc now wants to be part of this as he can take a biopsy of this mass while they are in there.   This way we can be sure that it is nothing to be concerned about.

 

I get frustrated because the last 3 PET scans I feel they only cut and paste the results.   I get something like "No significant interval increase"   What does that mean?   Was there SOME movement?   Was there an increase, just not intervally?   And if they say that each time what is the size of it now because they don't give the size?

Also, everytime I go to a doctor with a problem, they want to push drugs right away.   I don't use them unless I absolutely need to.  I want to know the real cause of all my problems, no masked them by taking drugs.  - Sorry for my little rant.

MOLI, I know you want to know what you should do with regard to your masses.   All I know is that the one I have for me to remove it would be a MAJOR surgery.   I have so much scarring that they really don't want to do anything unless they have to.   Have you had a PET Scan?    This can tell whether or not there is active cancer.   You don't want to take chemo if the masses aren't active.  I know they are growing but so did mine.   

Sending you thoughts and prayers that you can find a solution that you are comfortable with.

All the best,

Kathy

Sandy3185

Cucu me said:

thanks for the whole support

I deal somehow with the hair loss.

On Friday is my second chemo, and I don't remember what you ladies said about it...

Is it getting worse or could be better than the first?

2nd treatment

For me, the side effects increased with each treatment, but for many others the first was the worst. Nobody is really prepared for the reality of your hair falling out. I was shocked when I lost my eyebrows and eyelashes! But, with everything else that was happening, I got over it, found some pretty scarves and hats and didn't think about it anymore. Many wear a wig but I found the wig to be hot and seldom wore it.

For me, chemo was miserable BUT each time I went, my CA125 was lower and that gave me the courage to keep going. I am now one year out of treatment and still NED. I know many of us question the value of chemo, but I had, and still do have faith, in my doctor. He changed the protocol when Taxol was giving me increased neuropathy and joint pain, agreed with my decision to do only 3 treatments of internal radiation and no external. In other words, he saw Me and treated Me. We all need to decide how we are going to fight cancer and it is my belief that we need to employ all the weapons we have at hand. Surgery, chemo and radiation are what the medical community offers. That doesn't mean that faith as well as diet and other treatments doesn't work. But, for me, medical treatment works hand in hand with "alternative" treatments and faith in God will support you no matter what choice you make.

Sandy 

NoTimeForCancer

Cucu me said:

thanks for the whole support

I deal somehow with the hair loss.

On Friday is my second chemo, and I don't remember what you ladies said about it...

Is it getting worse or could be better than the first?

cuculigata, we are all

cuculigata, we are all different, and with that said, you are going to surprise yourself when you see how strong you really are.  We are all cheering for you.

Cucu me

NoTimeForCancer said:

cuculigata, we are all

cuculigata, we are all different, and with that said, you are going to surprise yourself when you see how strong you really are.  We are all cheering for you.

thanks for the whole support

Thank you

mamamoody

Cucu me said:

Moli is brave

Believe it in or not I started chemo on June 17.

Today I noticed my hair started to fall...

Yeah,such a journey we have.

hair loss

I've lost it twice in chemo .... head, eyelashes, and eyebrows.  Funny, but the only part that bothered me was losing my eyebrows.  Eyebrows really define your face and I'm not a makeup kind of gal ... so I just did without.  But everything grew back, twice.   Two advantages is that I also lost my "menopause mustache" and I didn't have to shave my legs for awhile.  I guess there's always a silver lining.  Of course, now I'm hairier than ever thanks to the estrogen inhibitor.  

 

I'm sorry to hear of some of ya'lls doctor/chemo experiences.  Since being out on "the economy" (outside of military medicine), I've had some great docs.

molimoli

Kaleena said:

I understand your frustration

Moli, I truly understand your frustration.   Right prior to my 5 year mark, I had a new gyne/onc because my original one retired.   I saw this guy several times and still hadn't gotten the warm fuzzy feeling nor did he ever do any of the exams.  He always had his interns do it.   So when I had a scan (which previously this doctor said was fine) reread because the report said I was an 80 year old woman (at the time I was 49), when he got the report back he said I had a recurrence.  I have had a small soft tissue mass that had been there.   I wanted to meet with him to discuss this stuff.  When I got there, all he wanted me to do was sign the paperwork, get a PET Scan, schedule the biopsy and he told me that I would need chemo to shrink it and surgery and that I would end up with a permanent colostomy.    This is the same guy who didn't know where my paperwork was when I got there and never even performed an actual exam on me.   He wanted the biopsy done in two days because he was going on vacation.  Needlessto say I said no.   I still had a port and when I went to get it flushed, they said no you are to get chemo.   I said definitely not.  Just a port flush.   Because I didn't go get the biopsy, he wrote on my chart client seeking help elsewhere.   Also, he wanted me for a study too.

Then I went to another hopsital and had the biopsy which came back positive.  But this doctor used to work with the other one and wanted me back over there.   I had to leave the state altogether because I didn't trust anyone by this time.  I was also told that it was inoperable.

I went to another doctor in another state.  They retested the results which were positive but he said he thought he could do the surgery and a short one at that.  He did the surgery and the mass itself turns out it was benign.  He did find a lymph node that had microscopic cells in it though.   From that day forward, I have been on a wait and see approach.  I did not do any type of treatment. (2010)

Currently, I have another soft tissue mass.   Originally it was 2.6 x 1.6 cm with a SUV of 2.4 (on PET scans) it is now 6 x 2.1 cm with a current SUV of 3.4.   I have had 5 PET scans since last year.  It has also caused hydroureternophrosis for which I now regularly get stent changes for.  I had the mass biopsied in April of 2014 but the part they biopsied was negative.   They couldn't biopsy the part that lit up on PET scans.  They still think it is just scar tissue.

However, my urologist wants to do an implant surgery (removing my ureter and replacing it into another part of my bladder so that I don't have to have stent changes every 3 months).   My gyn/onc now wants to be part of this as he can take a biopsy of this mass while they are in there.   This way we can be sure that it is nothing to be concerned about.

 

I get frustrated because the last 3 PET scans I feel they only cut and paste the results.   I get something like "No significant interval increase"   What does that mean?   Was there SOME movement?   Was there an increase, just not intervally?   And if they say that each time what is the size of it now because they don't give the size?

Also, everytime I go to a doctor with a problem, they want to push drugs right away.   I don't use them unless I absolutely need to.  I want to know the real cause of all my problems, no masked them by taking drugs.  - Sorry for my little rant.

MOLI, I know you want to know what you should do with regard to your masses.   All I know is that the one I have for me to remove it would be a MAJOR surgery.   I have so much scarring that they really don't want to do anything unless they have to.   Have you had a PET Scan?    This can tell whether or not there is active cancer.   You don't want to take chemo if the masses aren't active.  I know they are growing but so did mine.   

Sending you thoughts and prayers that you can find a solution that you are comfortable with.

All the best,

Kathy

Thanks Kaleena

Thanks for expressing your  journey with its ups and downs so candidly, I have had some ofyour experiences and it rubs me the wrong way.

Thanks to mention the scarring ,I now wonder if they are afraid of cutting into scar tissues,hmm food for thought. I had full and complete hysterectomy, I can just imagine the scarring in there,  maybe thats why the reluctance.,I get it.

 My masses are actively growing all -right, lol.

I have found that pet scan is never suggested  ,I will question why on Tuesday when I see the oncologist / surgeon.for her decision,to do or not to do.

Thanks for your prayers  and your wish that my confusion will take flight,I am working on it

 I have seen surgeries delayed  and the awful and sudden unrelenting pain when the mass infringes on other organs or structures,I dont want that at all.  of course they will then want to do emergency surgery ,when they have watched it grow,  

Live today,thats all nuff love

Double Whammy

molimoli said:

Kathy G.Thanks for the well wishes and prayers because

I am going out on a slimber limb without a net , I'll need showers of blessings all day every day.So don't any of you renege on the prayers  , I need it in a bad way.

When I was young  and was defiant with my mother,she would roll her eyes, look at me with  a certain knowing look as if she got the answer to something ,point at me and  blurt out loud  "YOU NEED JESUS "  She was right then but I only know it now,for sure.  R.I.P  Mama G. I get it.

 

Kathy, nothing Happens in health care  without the say so and the go ahead of the multi billion dollar corperations  saying so , They won't ever be willing to let any one else in ,Small Pharmaceutical research companies with brilliant scientists from all over the world is constantly  petitioning and submitting new promising drugs for cancer and all kinds of illnesses  to the FDA  but they are not given the light of day.not even permission to run a trial with willing participants . Why?  Because money talks and talks and won't shut up. No one wants to see their kick backs eliminated because they allow a newbie with  promising  or God forbid positive alternative on the block, no one. Think about it.

UPSC has been around and recognized as different  for many years yet we are still piggy backing on ovarian cancer  so-so treatment, Why, because we are too small in numbers , too distressed about our plight , too timid to upset the applecart of the very people we rely on for treatment to cry out loud enough to be heard.  so they dont have to do thousands of clinical trials for us with new manufacturers when they can just sell us what they already have,Chemo and Radiation combination that is woefully lacking for most.

Oh what a beautiful thought I am thinking,That one day UPSC and all other uterine cancers will be as important as breast and heart or even just as important as damn acne, for crying out loud I am mad as hell.      Nuff love ladies ,I am too pumped so I better go to bed, Yes I need Jesus,

Metastasis

Hi-

Some questions and food for thought that might raise some questions for discussion with the surgeon.

I recently spent a lot of time with my bff who had kidney cancer mets and I learned a couple of things from her thoracic surgeon (she had lung mets) at Stanford.  She was on an oral chemo for 6 months and scanned often before they concluded that she had only a single nodule in her lung and that surgery would give her the best quality of life - and a 30% chance of a cure.  I realize that this is kidney cancer - not UPSC.  But what was interesting to me (because I asked lots of questions) was that the thoracic surgeon explained that Kidney cancer can sometimes metastasize differently than other cancers, that it can often be a single lesion only and that in the case of most other cancers, once there is one lesion noted, it is assumed that the "horse is out of the barn" and that lesion is simply the only one that is large enough to show on a scan, that there are other cells elsewhere but they haven't grown large enough to show up.  That is why chemotherapy is typically recommended vs. surgery.  As you know, lots of cancers like to take up residence in the lung, but he typically does not do surgery in the case of other cancer mets.  This may raise some questions for you about why the Fellow was assuming other small lesions that were not noted on the scan report. 

I also asked if there wasn't a danger of that lung nodule metastasizing while they were waiting for her to complete a course of oral chemo.  He told me that the mechanism of metastasis is not fully understood, but they don't think that (in her case the lung nodule) the mets make more mets (and remember, this may be specific to kidney cancer) that cells had already metastasized from the getgo and it had just taken a while for them to settle and grow.  In her case, she was 5 years post surgery, and that was in her favor - the length of time it took to show up.  The oral chemo was given to hopefully kill off anyother rogue cells that might be elsewhere before they found an opportunistic place to plant themselvs.

And the bottom line is it's all a guessing game with this cancer stuff and all they have to go on is statistics.  We're all different and we all respond differently.  I hope the above information (which I may have misunderstood) might raise some questions for you to have a conversation with your surgeron about.  Basically - why or why not surgery?

Best,

Suzanne

 

molimoli

Double Whammy said:

Metastasis

Hi-

Some questions and food for thought that might raise some questions for discussion with the surgeon.

I recently spent a lot of time with my bff who had kidney cancer mets and I learned a couple of things from her thoracic surgeon (she had lung mets) at Stanford.  She was on an oral chemo for 6 months and scanned often before they concluded that she had only a single nodule in her lung and that surgery would give her the best quality of life - and a 30% chance of a cure.  I realize that this is kidney cancer - not UPSC.  But what was interesting to me (because I asked lots of questions) was that the thoracic surgeon explained that Kidney cancer can sometimes metastasize differently than other cancers, that it can often be a single lesion only and that in the case of most other cancers, once there is one lesion noted, it is assumed that the "horse is out of the barn" and that lesion is simply the only one that is large enough to show on a scan, that there are other cells elsewhere but they haven't grown large enough to show up.  That is why chemotherapy is typically recommended vs. surgery.  As you know, lots of cancers like to take up residence in the lung, but he typically does not do surgery in the case of other cancer mets.  This may raise some questions for you about why the Fellow was assuming other small lesions that were not noted on the scan report. 

I also asked if there wasn't a danger of that lung nodule metastasizing while they were waiting for her to complete a course of oral chemo.  He told me that the mechanism of metastasis is not fully understood, but they don't think that (in her case the lung nodule) the mets make more mets (and remember, this may be specific to kidney cancer) that cells had already metastasized from the getgo and it had just taken a while for them to settle and grow.  In her case, she was 5 years post surgery, and that was in her favor - the length of time it took to show up.  The oral chemo was given to hopefully kill off anyother rogue cells that might be elsewhere before they found an opportunistic place to plant themselvs.

And the bottom line is it's all a guessing game with this cancer stuff and all they have to go on is statistics.  We're all different and we all respond differently.  I hope the above information (which I may have misunderstood) might raise some questions for you to have a conversation with your surgeron about.  Basically - why or why not surgery?

Best,

Suzanne

 

Suzanne your post ,interesting read and right on all counts.

Hi ladies I am updating,:Saw my surgeon today, she said ,NO SURGERY FOR ME.  Believe it or not I fully get her  fears  after detailed explaination. I got it before and I get it now UPSC sucks. 

Once  she cut open my pelvic area  she must get my bladder,bowels and all  other organs out of the way to access  the 2 tumors on both sides closer to the back of  pelvic area.

 Getting them back in their place at  the end would be a daunting if not impossibe task. No good result will come from the surgery if I end up with a colostomy bag ,and or irreparable damage to other organs like bladder etc., My interior structure has already been changed with the hysterectomy.She may not be able to find suitable structures to reattach organs moved out of place.causing a whole host of problems That I don't currently have.

"Surgery will buy you nothing  at all in terms of saving you from upsc ,Once there are mets after surgery there are  already many seedlings waiting their  turn to grow.In managing this we give Chemo, and or radiation in an attempt  to stunt and delay growth. In my 27 years as oncologist/surgeon I have found that the patients who are embracing the Idea of a cure are the most disappointed and sad patients. Likewise,  although I am sure you don't expect a cure , you are trying to borrow trouble, disappointments  and sadness with your insistence on such dangerous  surgery which could be morbid, therefore, robbing you of a few more years in which time ,improved  treatment options  may come along"

So said my oncologist/ surgeon at one of the top 5 cancer research center in the world. I love the honesty of the seasoned doctors , No patience for tricky fellows.

OH I REALLY DO NEED JESUS!!!  but in the mean time I need a sleep-a thon. Then a big ole dripping vanilla ice cream cone . ( don't any of you comment on the big ole sugary icecream cone)I AM HAVING IT,as soon a I wake, have not had one in many moons.I need it or a blankey.   LOL .

                                                                     Nuff love and bessings

Sorry to read of the continued trials some of you my sisters are dealing with. I may not always respond individually but I constantly embrace you all ,if only in my mind. when I cry out to my creator for guidance or help, I never forget to remember you, Moli.

molimoli

molimoli said:

Suzanne your post ,interesting read and right on all counts.

Hi ladies I am updating,:Saw my surgeon today, she said ,NO SURGERY FOR ME.  Believe it or not I fully get her  fears  after detailed explaination. I got it before and I get it now UPSC sucks. 

Once  she cut open my pelvic area  she must get my bladder,bowels and all  other organs out of the way to access  the 2 tumors on both sides closer to the back of  pelvic area.

 Getting them back in their place at  the end would be a daunting if not impossibe task. No good result will come from the surgery if I end up with a colostomy bag ,and or irreparable damage to other organs like bladder etc., My interior structure has already been changed with the hysterectomy.She may not be able to find suitable structures to reattach organs moved out of place.causing a whole host of problems That I don't currently have.

"Surgery will buy you nothing  at all in terms of saving you from upsc ,Once there are mets after surgery there are  already many seedlings waiting their  turn to grow.In managing this we give Chemo, and or radiation in an attempt  to stunt and delay growth. In my 27 years as oncologist/surgeon I have found that the patients who are embracing the Idea of a cure are the most disappointed and sad patients. Likewise,  although I am sure you don't expect a cure , you are trying to borrow trouble, disappointments  and sadness with your insistence on such dangerous  surgery which could be morbid, therefore, robbing you of a few more years in which time ,improved  treatment options  may come along"

So said my oncologist/ surgeon at one of the top 5 cancer research center in the world. I love the honesty of the seasoned doctors , No patience for tricky fellows.

OH I REALLY DO NEED JESUS!!!  but in the mean time I need a sleep-a thon. Then a big ole dripping vanilla ice cream cone . ( don't any of you comment on the big ole sugary icecream cone)I AM HAVING IT,as soon a I wake, have not had one in many moons.I need it or a blankey.   LOL .

                                                                     Nuff love and bessings

Sorry to read of the continued trials some of you my sisters are dealing with. I may not always respond individually but I constantly embrace you all ,if only in my mind. when I cry out to my creator for guidance or help, I never forget to remember you, Moli.

Taxol

Has any one had  Cis or Carb without Taxol,? Doctor said Taxol is what causes most of the problems and periferal damages.

Abbycat2

molimoli said:

Taxol

Has any one had  Cis or Carb without Taxol,? Doctor said Taxol is what causes most of the problems and periferal damages.

You were awake rather early, moli!

Good Morning, moli,

 

I had 6 cycles of both Carboplatin and Taxol, so I can't answer your question.  However, I do believe that the Taxol is what caused my incredibly severe lower back pain while undergoing chemo treatments.  I ended up having two epidural shots spaced strategically between chemo treatments.  I was really miserable.  I can remember not being able to stand or walk for more than a few minutes at a time.  It was tricky taking a shower, even.  The pain would come on quite quickly and felt as though someone was trying to cut my leg off at the hip with a knife.  The only thing that helped- before I received the epidurals- was sitting with my legs elevated.   I am certain that the Taxol caused my neuropathy in my toes and the balls of my feet.  The neuropathy has not improved since chemo ended in March, 2014.

I hope that you know that I often think about you and your cancer journey.  I pray that all goes well for you, moli, and that you find joy in living each and everyday.   Yesterday, I was thinking about the word "enjoy" and what that means to me.  When I enjoy something- swimming for example- I am experiencing a form of joy.   It struck me that it is often the smallest and most inconsequential things in life that bring me the most pleasure.  This cancer journey is as much emotional as it is physical.  I am now saying such statements to myself as "Stop it!" when I begin to dwell on the negative aspects of this journey.  moli, you are such a beautiful and strong woman and I admire your strength and determination.  Keep up the good fight!

Warmly,

Cathy

Double Whammy

Abbycat2 said:

You were awake rather early, moli!

Good Morning, moli,

 

I had 6 cycles of both Carboplatin and Taxol, so I can't answer your question.  However, I do believe that the Taxol is what caused my incredibly severe lower back pain while undergoing chemo treatments.  I ended up having two epidural shots spaced strategically between chemo treatments.  I was really miserable.  I can remember not being able to stand or walk for more than a few minutes at a time.  It was tricky taking a shower, even.  The pain would come on quite quickly and felt as though someone was trying to cut my leg off at the hip with a knife.  The only thing that helped- before I received the epidurals- was sitting with my legs elevated.   I am certain that the Taxol caused my neuropathy in my toes and the balls of my feet.  The neuropathy has not improved since chemo ended in March, 2014.

I hope that you know that I often think about you and your cancer journey.  I pray that all goes well for you, moli, and that you find joy in living each and everyday.   Yesterday, I was thinking about the word "enjoy" and what that means to me.  When I enjoy something- swimming for example- I am experiencing a form of joy.   It struck me that it is often the smallest and most inconsequential things in life that bring me the most pleasure.  This cancer journey is as much emotional as it is physical.  I am now saying such statements to myself as "Stop it!" when I begin to dwell on the negative aspects of this journey.  moli, you are such a beautiful and strong woman and I admire your strength and determination.  Keep up the good fight!

Warmly,

Cathy

Wow!

Moli, that is quite an honest and straightforward explanation from your surgeon.  What is your next step? 

Sending best wishes,

Suzanne

Cucu me

Double Whammy said:

Wow!

Moli, that is quite an honest and straightforward explanation from your surgeon.  What is your next step? 

Sending best wishes,

Suzanne

I wish you get better in spite

of the facts.We never know.

Praying for you and allof us.

molimoli

Cucu me said:

I wish you get better in spite

of the facts.We never know.

Praying for you and allof us.

Thanks Cuculigata

Thanks for your kind wishes,I too hope so for all of us.I will surely see with time,The thought of the not knowing what"s around the bend is usually frightening, thanks to the creator my frightened days were Less than few, suspended then dismissed a long time ago, I won't embrace fright ,it's bad company and it builds prison walls around one's spirit.I have't got the time ,literally.

Nuff,nuff love and enhanced blessings,my wish for us.

molimoli

Double Whammy said:

Wow!

Moli, that is quite an honest and straightforward explanation from your surgeon.  What is your next step? 

Sending best wishes,

Suzanne

Honest indeed.

Old folks warn ,'be careful what you wish for ,you may just get it'  I wanted no bull shitting , I got  no bull shitting  and it sent me straight into a semi-coma like sleep  and then I comforted my battered weary self  with 2 vanilla ice cream cone. felt so very guilty I went right to sleep again  Well glass still half full,Moli needed sleep,so it seemed.

Next step : Travelling overseas  soon to have a chat with a gyne. oncologist/ herbalist. ( sounds like a jack of all trades eh?  )  in my search for a second opinion.or my search to explore surgical /herbal intervention.We'll see, I am not rolling over , not today not tomorrow, I'll try other things 'till I feel dumb,  or the  s... hits the fan .  all the while finding some joy on the journey.

 Thanks for your concern Suzanne, Nuff love.

molimoli

Abbycat2 said:

You were awake rather early, moli!

Good Morning, moli,

 

I had 6 cycles of both Carboplatin and Taxol, so I can't answer your question.  However, I do believe that the Taxol is what caused my incredibly severe lower back pain while undergoing chemo treatments.  I ended up having two epidural shots spaced strategically between chemo treatments.  I was really miserable.  I can remember not being able to stand or walk for more than a few minutes at a time.  It was tricky taking a shower, even.  The pain would come on quite quickly and felt as though someone was trying to cut my leg off at the hip with a knife.  The only thing that helped- before I received the epidurals- was sitting with my legs elevated.   I am certain that the Taxol caused my neuropathy in my toes and the balls of my feet.  The neuropathy has not improved since chemo ended in March, 2014.

I hope that you know that I often think about you and your cancer journey.  I pray that all goes well for you, moli, and that you find joy in living each and everyday.   Yesterday, I was thinking about the word "enjoy" and what that means to me.  When I enjoy something- swimming for example- I am experiencing a form of joy.   It struck me that it is often the smallest and most inconsequential things in life that bring me the most pleasure.  This cancer journey is as much emotional as it is physical.  I am now saying such statements to myself as "Stop it!" when I begin to dwell on the negative aspects of this journey.  moli, you are such a beautiful and strong woman and I admire your strength and determination.  Keep up the good fight!

Warmly,

Cathy

Ouch ! chemo ouch!!! I declare I am Moli de chicken.

Cathy sorry for your unpleasant journey but thanks for the info,now my hips  will hurt for the rest of the day,Dear God, lol .      Yes ,we must find ways to enjoy life inspite of this darn hurricane,it shows  that we are  appreciative  of the warning ,giving us the opportunity  to hurry up and do the things  that we have been procrastinating about for far too long. Every day we wake the possibility of positive change arises , may be change in our health ,attitude  how and whom we love,just an endless list of things to do and achieve,with life.

 Cathy you build me up every time ,all the time, Don't wonder if I know, I sense you on my journey ,therefore,I am with you all the while, Thanks to you and all the other ladies here for the company.I was in an awfully lonely alley when you guys happened by.  no regrets. I am embracing you all with every breath ,except when I am sleeping, of course.  Speaking of sleep ,it's 6:20 am  going to sleep ,Have a great day my sister.

My strength comes from the collective force here.  much thanks ,nuff love.

Abbycat2

molimoli said:

Ouch ! chemo ouch!!! I declare I am Moli de chicken.

Cathy sorry for your unpleasant journey but thanks for the info,now my hips  will hurt for the rest of the day,Dear God, lol .      Yes ,we must find ways to enjoy life inspite of this darn hurricane,it shows  that we are  appreciative  of the warning ,giving us the opportunity  to hurry up and do the things  that we have been procrastinating about for far too long. Every day we wake the possibility of positive change arises , may be change in our health ,attitude  how and whom we love,just an endless list of things to do and achieve,with life.

 Cathy you build me up every time ,all the time, Don't wonder if I know, I sense you on my journey ,therefore,I am with you all the while, Thanks to you and all the other ladies here for the company.I was in an awfully lonely alley when you guys happened by.  no regrets. I am embracing you all with every breath ,except when I am sleeping, of course.  Speaking of sleep ,it's 6:20 am  going to sleep ,Have a great day my sister.

My strength comes from the collective force here.  much thanks ,nuff love.

Thanks, moli

A long, arduous journey is less so with a friend by one's side.  Thanks for joining me in my journey and for allowing me to participate in yours.  Just wish our journeys were overseas and not with cancer!

nuff love,

Cathy

AWK

Abbycat2 said:

Thanks, moli

A long, arduous journey is less so with a friend by one's side.  Thanks for joining me in my journey and for allowing me to participate in yours.  Just wish our journeys were overseas and not with cancer!

nuff love,

Cathy

You guys are the best.

I agree!  This is not the girls trip I had in mind!  But good things are happening because of it and for that I am grateful.  And Moli, I love your doctor - mine have always been very straight with me which makes it so much easier.  I hope you enjoyed your vanilla ice cream.  i do the same thing too from time to time.  

Hugs - Anne