unfair unfair unfair

crselby

It’s 2:30 AM and I can’t sleep. Apparently the surgeon didn’t get all the DCIS 6 years ago and what remained has grown large enough to find this year.  The radiation didn’t get it, the Tamoxifen didn’t stop it. 

 

I can’t have another lumpectomy because of the brachytherapy so it’s a mastectomy for me.  Bilateral in fact since the other side is a DDD cup.  They couldn’t reconstruct big enough to get affected side to match, so off they both come.

 

It seems so unfair that two little spots of DCIS ( one 13mm the new one 9 mm) should cause me to have part of my femininity amputated.  I really hate the thought of recovering from surgery, the mess, the blood, the fatigue, the bandages, the attention to body, the endless doctor appointments, when I just want to be back to leading my life. I feel FINE!!

 

I'm not the type to fuss about faking my appearance.  My hair is silver, my nails are unpainted, my face is clean and honest.  I can't imagine stuffing my bra in order to look normal and SURELY can't imagine volunteering for stuffing a plastic bag between my chest muscles.

 

Questions:

1- Is there anybody out there who goes natural and is glad and still looks good, that is, not dowdy?  I don't want to wear baggy clothes for the rest of my life!  I live in HOT Arizona.

 

2- How do you feel feminine when the clothes in stores have darts but you have nothing to put in them.  That is, how do you wear clothes that are even 1/2 way fashionable if you have no breasts? It's hard enough for a old woman to get respect but if you're wearing your grandmother's clothes while you're lecturing to your adult students, they'll tune you out soon enough.

 

~~Connie~~

disneyfan2008

Connie-sorry to hear you are

Connie-sorry to hear you are going through this. I have no advice-I have had two lumpectomies on the same side (but small chested to start with) I am sure others here will give you get suggestions.

 

Thinking of you-sending a hug.

 

Denise

TraciInLA

Going flat after bilateral mastectomy

Connie,

I had a bilateral mastectomy with no reconstruction on January 29th, and have been going flat ever since.  

I haven't worn any kind prosthetic or "foob" -- I haven't worn a bra since January 28th, and am really kind of loving the freedom of just puttting on a shirt and go.

I'm a Human Resources Manager for a "business casual" office, so admittedly I don't own a single article of clothing with darts.  I live in the San Fernando Valley in Southern California, where it's already in the 80s, and I have hot flashes from Tamoxifen, so layers or bulky, baggy clothes are out of the question.

I wear lightweight sweaters and blouses to work -- all close-fitting in my normal size, and they make no secret of the fact that I don't have boobs.

For me, how I feel, is -- so I don't have boobs, so what?  There are people in this world who don't have an arm, or a leg, and they can't hide it -- why should I be expected to hide my flat chest?  That's just how I feel, for myself.

I used the surgery as an excuse to seek out some "retail therapy" -- I bought some new sweaters in beautiful, rich colors, and some new pretty necklaces and scarves and lipsticks as some simple, low-fuss ways to get me feeling more feminine again after lying around recovering from surgery.  

I look fabulous -- the rest of the ladies in my office WISH they could look this good! 

Lastly, nearly every woman who chooses to go flat says the exact same thing:  No one notices.  Seriously.  Nobody's looking at my chest.  Really.

Hope that helps,

Traci

button2

One sided

I had a single radical mastectomy. My bra size is DD. I don't want to get reconstruction surgery so I wear a prothesis. It is VERY easy and comfortable. I have four different ones. I use a light foam insert and athlectic bra for sleeping. I use two different size (according to my weight) regular protheses from the major company who makes them for day. They are covered by my insurance. I also have a swim breast that fits in a pocket of my swimsuits, both bikini and tankinis. When I shower at night, I wash off the prothesis, dry it and insert it into the bra so it's ready in the morning. So it's just like putting on a bra in the morning like every woman does. No problems whatsoever. My husband couldn't believe the feel of the prothetics when I first used them. He actually got confused and had to ask me which side was fake! If I had had a double mastectomy, I wouldn't mind being flat either. So my suggestion to you is to purchase some smallish prostheses for "dress up" and nothing at all when lazing around home. Good luck (and yes BC is very unfair), Anna

disneyfan2008

TraciInLA said:

Going flat after bilateral mastectomy

Connie,

I had a bilateral mastectomy with no reconstruction on January 29th, and have been going flat ever since.  

I haven't worn any kind prosthetic or "foob" -- I haven't worn a bra since January 28th, and am really kind of loving the freedom of just puttting on a shirt and go.

I'm a Human Resources Manager for a "business casual" office, so admittedly I don't own a single article of clothing with darts.  I live in the San Fernando Valley in Southern California, where it's already in the 80s, and I have hot flashes from Tamoxifen, so layers or bulky, baggy clothes are out of the question.

I wear lightweight sweaters and blouses to work -- all close-fitting in my normal size, and they make no secret of the fact that I don't have boobs.

For me, how I feel, is -- so I don't have boobs, so what?  There are people in this world who don't have an arm, or a leg, and they can't hide it -- why should I be expected to hide my flat chest?  That's just how I feel, for myself.

I used the surgery as an excuse to seek out some "retail therapy" -- I bought some new sweaters in beautiful, rich colors, and some new pretty necklaces and scarves and lipsticks as some simple, low-fuss ways to get me feeling more feminine again after lying around recovering from surgery.  

I look fabulous -- the rest of the ladies in my office WISH they could look this good! 

Lastly, nearly every woman who chooses to go flat says the exact same thing:  No one notices.  Seriously.  Nobody's looking at my chest.  Really.

Hope that helps,

Traci

Traci-
I love your way of

Traci-

I love your way of thinking.

morgamed

button2 said:

One sided

I had a single radical mastectomy. My bra size is DD. I don't want to get reconstruction surgery so I wear a prothesis. It is VERY easy and comfortable. I have four different ones. I use a light foam insert and athlectic bra for sleeping. I use two different size (according to my weight) regular protheses from the major company who makes them for day. They are covered by my insurance. I also have a swim breast that fits in a pocket of my swimsuits, both bikini and tankinis. When I shower at night, I wash off the prothesis, dry it and insert it into the bra so it's ready in the morning. So it's just like putting on a bra in the morning like every woman does. No problems whatsoever. My husband couldn't believe the feel of the prothetics when I first used them. He actually got confused and had to ask me which side was fake! If I had had a double mastectomy, I wouldn't mind being flat either. So my suggestion to you is to purchase some smallish prostheses for "dress up" and nothing at all when lazing around home. Good luck (and yes BC is very unfair), Anna

Flat is the new Sexy!

I’m telling you I will never stuff, puff, hide, foob or any other word that would fit where my now beautiful cancer free flat chest resides.  I have a new found freedom.  I do wear a chest bumper and that is to control the lymphedema in my left arm.  It really doesn’t fill out any shirt enough to make me look like I have anything there. 

My whole thought on going flat.  I am planting visual seeds for everyone to see that they all need to do an annual checkup and mammogram or they just might end up like me.  I will be that guinea pig. 

 

I live in NW Florida and it’s hot here…so braless is WONDERFUL!

alabama_survivor

Connie, so sorry you're

Connie, so sorry you're having to go through all of this, and I can certainly understand that internal battle.  I was diagnosed with Stage 3C Triple Negative on the left side, and ER+DCIS on the right side, on June 26, 2014.  I had 5 months of chemo, followed by bilateral mastectomy, followed by 33 radiation treatments which I just finished last week.  I ran into a problem with radiation during the last couple of weeks, and became way too tender to wear the puffy forms that came with my post-op cammisoles.  Since my skin has broken down because of radiation and I have some open sores, I have mostly stayed in since I don't want to increase my chance of infection.  Also, I have some places that are weeping, so I am wearing old teeshirts that I don't care if they get ruined.  Before the skin started opening, I did actually get up the nerve to "go flat" to church a couple of weeks ago.  I have actually been battling between getting "foobs" or just going flat.  I have no intention of doing reconstruction because I don't want any foreign objects in my body, and I also don't want any additional surgery.  Around the house, I will probably always go flat.  It's still a little early to say what I will do when I go out, because I am still recovering, and it will probably be a couple more months before I am healed will enough to think about it.

As far as losing you femininity, I never felt that way and I never mourned the loss of my breasts.  That may come later, but so far I have not thought of it as a loss, but rather, I did what I had to do to save my life.  Personally, I am a much stronger person than I was a year ago. 

crselby

Thanks all.  Keep those

Thanks all.  Keep those comments coming please.  It'll take time to wrap my head around this....

~~Connie~~

Rague

alabama_survivor said:

Connie, so sorry you're

Connie, so sorry you're having to go through all of this, and I can certainly understand that internal battle.  I was diagnosed with Stage 3C Triple Negative on the left side, and ER+DCIS on the right side, on June 26, 2014.  I had 5 months of chemo, followed by bilateral mastectomy, followed by 33 radiation treatments which I just finished last week.  I ran into a problem with radiation during the last couple of weeks, and became way too tender to wear the puffy forms that came with my post-op cammisoles.  Since my skin has broken down because of radiation and I have some open sores, I have mostly stayed in since I don't want to increase my chance of infection.  Also, I have some places that are weeping, so I am wearing old teeshirts that I don't care if they get ruined.  Before the skin started opening, I did actually get up the nerve to "go flat" to church a couple of weeks ago.  I have actually been battling between getting "foobs" or just going flat.  I have no intention of doing reconstruction because I don't want any foreign objects in my body, and I also don't want any additional surgery.  Around the house, I will probably always go flat.  It's still a little early to say what I will do when I go out, because I am still recovering, and it will probably be a couple more months before I am healed will enough to think about it.

As far as losing you femininity, I never felt that way and I never mourned the loss of my breasts.  That may come later, but so far I have not thought of it as a loss, but rather, I did what I had to do to save my life.  Personally, I am a much stronger person than I was a year ago. 

I am one who burned very bad

I am one who burned very bad after rads.  The entire area irradiated burned and 'flowed' fluid.  What finally worked was Domeboro soaks to dry it.  Yes, keeping moisturized is important but sometimes drying is what works.  Talk to your Dr.

I had to wear white t shirts as it just flowed continually.  Even the large area burn dressings I was given would not stay on.

My last rad was early March and it was late June when the last scab came off.  I don't remember exactly when it was decided to do Domeboro to try to dry it but had done a lot of 'stuff' first.  Vicodin was my 'friend' during that time - thankfully my deepest burns were under arm and there is nerve damage there so didn't feel the deepest/worst area.  Have 'good scars' to prove it though.

Would I do Rads again - ya betcha.  I'd just do Domeboro sooner.

Winyan - The Power Within

Susan

lintx

crselby said:

Thanks all.  Keep those

Thanks all.  Keep those comments coming please.  It'll take time to wrap my head around this....

~~Connie~~

Hi Connie

I had the diep flap in same day surgery following the bilateral.  I'm sure you know about that option.  Plastic surgeon uses your stomach tissue in reconstruction, so you have no implants.  I opted for a bilateral in the beginning.  It seemed like one more line of defense, and I got a free tummy tuck, also!  Whatever you choose, I see you are a beautiful lady and will be fine.  Your silver hair is pretty, too!!  I hope Clementine sees your post.  She has implants and has told us how much she loves her choice.  She can share her thoughts with you on that option. I wish you well.  Linda 

alabama_survivor

Rague said:

I am one who burned very bad

I am one who burned very bad after rads.  The entire area irradiated burned and 'flowed' fluid.  What finally worked was Domeboro soaks to dry it.  Yes, keeping moisturized is important but sometimes drying is what works.  Talk to your Dr.

I had to wear white t shirts as it just flowed continually.  Even the large area burn dressings I was given would not stay on.

My last rad was early March and it was late June when the last scab came off.  I don't remember exactly when it was decided to do Domeboro to try to dry it but had done a lot of 'stuff' first.  Vicodin was my 'friend' during that time - thankfully my deepest burns were under arm and there is nerve damage there so didn't feel the deepest/worst area.  Have 'good scars' to prove it though.

Would I do Rads again - ya betcha.  I'd just do Domeboro sooner.

Winyan - The Power Within

Susan

Thanks, Susan.  The techs

Thanks, Susan.  The techs kept telling me that they had seen much worse.  It didn't seem like it really got bad until the last week of treatment.  I was a little concerned because one of my "wet" sores had been that way for about a week.  Today it seems I can see new skin starting to grow, and it is scabbing around the edges.  Sounds like mine is nothing compared to yours.  I found ice to be soothing, and the nurse said it was fine, but I'm wondering if that was aggrevating it.  And yes, I have made good friends with my hydrocodone.  2 things I have learned since having cancer:  1) I have access to all the narcotics I want;  2) No, I won't abuse them.  :-)

desertgirl947

I hardly ever get out "the

I hardly ever get out "the girls."  I got them when I was still doing chemo and before radiation.

I am in education, and so I am expected to wear dressy casual, except on Fridays.  I also go to chuch. I am not quite as "bold" as some here are and cleared my closet of some things I thought would not ever look right without "the girls," because I knew then I did not want to always wear some help.

I have found that texture of  tops I wear can hide my lack.  Prints can too.  My friens at work say they really  can't tell when I am flat, which is most of the time.  My husband does not care what I choose. I was a "D," by the way.

I am about three years into this. I find I am going flat more and more.  I think that the bottom line is that I was more concerned about my look than eveyone else.  As time goes on, I go freer and freer.  People who know me know my story and don't care if I am flat.  People who don't know me really aren't paying enough attention to notice.

I can't tell you to do things my way; but I will tell you that over time, you might change in your thinking.

Hope this helps.

Pixie Dust

FREE AS A BIRD !!!!!

Connie, Last January 2014 I had to have a BMX by no choice. I had already decided that if I was going to lose 1, I was also going to have the other taken off. So it worked out for me anyway. I had not told none of my family my decision, then my daughter and husband told me that they did not want me to do reconstruction due to alot of people constantly having trouble afterwards and that I had already went through alot with having cancer and other surgeries. I am very happy right now by not having any breast because if cancer recures there, I can feel the lumps easily. I also was heavy busted. I feel so good not carring those big boobs around anymore. I love not wearing a bra and what others think or see of me I do not care. I feel just as feminine without boobs as I did with them. I was so happy to get rid of my slingshots. I wish I have had a bonfire with them than throwing them away and invited my neighbors over to rejoice with me.   Justed wanted to let you know what my decision was and how I felt afterwards. May you make the right decision that will satisfy yourself.  Hugs, Pixie

eihtak

Connie....

Hi, I don't post often on this site but am often appreciative of the great advice offered by others.

Four years ago I was diagnosed with Stage 3b anal cancer, as well as chemo and radiation my treatment included what is now a permanent ostomy. One year later I was diagnosed with a rare secretory carcinoma of the breast and treatment was a double mastectomy. Just this past January I have had a recurrance of the anal cancer in my lung and treatment was removal of my left lower lobe followed by chemo. Because of all this my hair, skin, nails, and teeth have suffered as well. Other than my initial dx, I too had felt fine prior to the following ones and was stunned to get the news....so can relate to that feeling, and so did not want to deal with the treatment/recovery mess. But we do, or at least we give it our best shot!

.......Somehow i have managed to feel anything but dowdy. I have always been creative and consider myself to dress "appropriately stylish." I am one of those people more comfortable in cute tops, dresses, and scarfs...which by the way are a great way to feel more balanced on top after a mastectomy. I never felt the need for reconstruction although I do sometimes wear a soft lightly padded bra. In my case I like to have some "boob" shape to offset the possibility of the shape of the ostomy bag showing through certain clothes. (It usually lays flat and un-noticed, but makes me worry less to bring attention upwards, as it seems to be something much less understood and more difficult to explain to others)

My daughter is getting married next month and I agree that it is a bit difficult to find just the right dress due to the dart issue. I just could not make the dress I most liked work for that very reason and I won't be wearing one of my many scarfs to this. (I have scarfs in every color and pattern on earth now) I think they started out as some form of security, but have become useful in many ways. If its cold and I don't have a jacket it can be a shawl, if it starts to rain it goes over my head, I have taken off my scarf to wrap a grand-baby when no blanket and once even wrapped a sprained ankle after a grandsons soccer game.

The comfort of no boobs is great though. I do often just wear a T-shirt and really appreciate it during the summer but I mostly just do that at home or with family.

We all find comfort in different ways and you will adjust to your new body but don't ever let this challenge determine your feminity! I have to put more thought into it sometimes, but finding fashionable clothes that suit my personality has been only a minor concern in this whole journey.

I wish you the best of luck as you move forward.

crselby

eihtak said:

Connie....

Hi, I don't post often on this site but am often appreciative of the great advice offered by others.

Four years ago I was diagnosed with Stage 3b anal cancer, as well as chemo and radiation my treatment included what is now a permanent ostomy. One year later I was diagnosed with a rare secretory carcinoma of the breast and treatment was a double mastectomy. Just this past January I have had a recurrance of the anal cancer in my lung and treatment was removal of my left lower lobe followed by chemo. Because of all this my hair, skin, nails, and teeth have suffered as well. Other than my initial dx, I too had felt fine prior to the following ones and was stunned to get the news....so can relate to that feeling, and so did not want to deal with the treatment/recovery mess. But we do, or at least we give it our best shot!

.......Somehow i have managed to feel anything but dowdy. I have always been creative and consider myself to dress "appropriately stylish." I am one of those people more comfortable in cute tops, dresses, and scarfs...which by the way are a great way to feel more balanced on top after a mastectomy. I never felt the need for reconstruction although I do sometimes wear a soft lightly padded bra. In my case I like to have some "boob" shape to offset the possibility of the shape of the ostomy bag showing through certain clothes. (It usually lays flat and un-noticed, but makes me worry less to bring attention upwards, as it seems to be something much less understood and more difficult to explain to others)

My daughter is getting married next month and I agree that it is a bit difficult to find just the right dress due to the dart issue. I just could not make the dress I most liked work for that very reason and I won't be wearing one of my many scarfs to this. (I have scarfs in every color and pattern on earth now) I think they started out as some form of security, but have become useful in many ways. If its cold and I don't have a jacket it can be a shawl, if it starts to rain it goes over my head, I have taken off my scarf to wrap a grand-baby when no blanket and once even wrapped a sprained ankle after a grandsons soccer game.

The comfort of no boobs is great though. I do often just wear a T-shirt and really appreciate it during the summer but I mostly just do that at home or with family.

We all find comfort in different ways and you will adjust to your new body but don't ever let this challenge determine your feminity! I have to put more thought into it sometimes, but finding fashionable clothes that suit my personality has been only a minor concern in this whole journey.

I wish you the best of luck as you move forward.

eihtak, your story makes me

eihtak, your story makes me ashamed of my whining.  You have faced far scarier health challenges, stared chemo in the face, and still come out with positive things to say.  Thank you for your contribution to this thread for all of us to benefit from!  I wish you a long and fulfilling life so that you can see your grandchildren married!

eihtak

crselby said:

eihtak, your story makes me

eihtak, your story makes me ashamed of my whining.  You have faced far scarier health challenges, stared chemo in the face, and still come out with positive things to say.  Thank you for your contribution to this thread for all of us to benefit from!  I wish you a long and fulfilling life so that you can see your grandchildren married!

Connie....

Hi, please...never, never, apologize here for whining. No one of us has a mountain bigger or smaller than another. We all have lives we'd like to live outside of cancer but somehow we have to learn to let cancer and all that goes with it be part of those lives. This is a safe place TO whine about anything and be understood!

Be well....

katheryn

Clementine_P

crselby said:

eihtak, your story makes me

eihtak, your story makes me ashamed of my whining.  You have faced far scarier health challenges, stared chemo in the face, and still come out with positive things to say.  Thank you for your contribution to this thread for all of us to benefit from!  I wish you a long and fulfilling life so that you can see your grandchildren married!

Unfair, indeed!

Hi Connie,

First of all I am so sorry that you are dealing with this again.  I hope that everyone's answers have provided you with some sense of security in this time of great upheaval.

Linda was right, I am very happy with my choice of reconstruction.  For me, at the age of 40, I felt it was important that I have a body that I was used to.  It is such a personal decision and I'm sure you will make the right one for you.

I had a bilateral mastectomy and insertion of expanders on the same day.  After a few weeks they started filling my expanders every other week.  I found the fill process to be painless and it took less than 5 minutes.  Then 7 months later after I finished chemo, I had the exchange surgery.  I was truly surprised to find that I went in for the exchange surgery at 7am and I was walking home with my husband at 11am the same day.  That surgery was a piece of cake!  My foobs are comfortable, and while as you say, they are not "you" and definitely not the same as real boobs, they are a pretty good approximation.  When I'm dressed I feel/look totally normal.  When I am naked, you are right, they are just mounds of flesh.  Still for me, that is good enough.  The expanders feel unnatural in your body (not painful at all, just weird).  When I returned to work, even with my new "girls" I wore scarves and statement necklaces like the other ladies here.  This gave everyone who knew I was sick a chance to sneak a glance and then to just compliment me on my necklace/scarf.   

I hope you are hanging in there right now and know that no matter what happens the people on this board will be here to support you through it.

Best,

Clementine

GlowMore

Hi Connie

Haven't had to face your problem (yet) but I can relate a little to feeling strange with one pointing in one direction and now it is also very perky while my other one hangs way down.  I'm probably about ten years older than you and I never thought I'd droop but oh well.   I wear scarves and vests and jackets ....

The main thing is I'm Alive.......and I bet you will do very well with whatever you decide....you will cry and feel the pain of unfairness.........but we all know about that.  THEN...you will do what has to be done and SURVIVE.....and I bet you will do it with a Smile too.  Wait and see if you don't.   Sending love and prayers for Strength & Courage....  Glo

Double Whammy

GlowMore said:

Hi Connie

Haven't had to face your problem (yet) but I can relate a little to feeling strange with one pointing in one direction and now it is also very perky while my other one hangs way down.  I'm probably about ten years older than you and I never thought I'd droop but oh well.   I wear scarves and vests and jackets ....

The main thing is I'm Alive.......and I bet you will do very well with whatever you decide....you will cry and feel the pain of unfairness.........but we all know about that.  THEN...you will do what has to be done and SURVIVE.....and I bet you will do it with a Smile too.  Wait and see if you don't.   Sending love and prayers for Strength & Courage....  Glo

Whine all you want, Connie

This news must be devastating, but you have options (I think).  I think when one has lived full busted for most of her life, the concept of being flat is just not conceivable.  I know I've always liked my breasts - ever since I grew them.   One option is always to not have reconstruction, but to go ahead and get the foobs and decide how you feel about wearing them or not when you actually have them.  You chose not to have a mastectomy in 2010 I assume  because you wanted to spare your breast, so they must be important to you.  Of course, you'd rather be alive than have breasts, but we're all different in how we feel about not having any and that doesn't matter whether we're 20 or 70.  My bff says she'd have both of hers removed should she ever get cancer and I believe her.  She is also very petite.  I, too, chose a lumpectomy in 2010 and  still having both breasts is really comforting to me vs. how I think I'd feel if I'd had a mastectomy.  That being said, if I had no option but to have a mastectomy, I would do it in a heartbeat and I know that even thought is isn't fair, you probably feel the same way.  Bottom line is you don't know how you will feel breastless and whether or not prosthesis or reconstruction down the road (if that's an option for you) will be helpful.  

And, maybe you should get a second opinion before you make any decisions.

So sorry you're having to deal with this - again.  I think that also contributes to your angst over the surgery.  Just when you think it's safe to go back in the water . . .

Hugs,

Suzanne

aisling8

Double Whammy said:

Whine all you want, Connie

This news must be devastating, but you have options (I think).  I think when one has lived full busted for most of her life, the concept of being flat is just not conceivable.  I know I've always liked my breasts - ever since I grew them.   One option is always to not have reconstruction, but to go ahead and get the foobs and decide how you feel about wearing them or not when you actually have them.  You chose not to have a mastectomy in 2010 I assume  because you wanted to spare your breast, so they must be important to you.  Of course, you'd rather be alive than have breasts, but we're all different in how we feel about not having any and that doesn't matter whether we're 20 or 70.  My bff says she'd have both of hers removed should she ever get cancer and I believe her.  She is also very petite.  I, too, chose a lumpectomy in 2010 and  still having both breasts is really comforting to me vs. how I think I'd feel if I'd had a mastectomy.  That being said, if I had no option but to have a mastectomy, I would do it in a heartbeat and I know that even thought is isn't fair, you probably feel the same way.  Bottom line is you don't know how you will feel breastless and whether or not prosthesis or reconstruction down the road (if that's an option for you) will be helpful.  

And, maybe you should get a second opinion before you make any decisions.

So sorry you're having to deal with this - again.  I think that also contributes to your angst over the surgery.  Just when you think it's safe to go back in the water . . .

Hugs,

Suzanne

Sending good thoughts

and a hug.

xoxo

Victoria

sweetvickid

Connie
I was diagnosed the

Connie

I was diagnosed the day before I turned 54  now  I am 59.  Heck of a birthday present.   I wouldn't win a beauty contest but always had a nice figure and  great looking boobs, just a 34B cup but that were nicely shaped and quite perky.  Anyhoo looked into the reconstruction obtions and figured out quickly not the route I wanted to go.  I go flat chested and the funny thing is no one seems to notice.  Shirts with darts I have found by adding a pretty scarf drapped over my chest camoflauges beautifully. Shirts with ruffles or a strong pattern also help camoflage.

 

There are some fashions I can't wear but I have not regretted my decision.  Sometimes I think I am dowdy.  Recently our graduated assistant (young 24 yr old) asked me if I would go shopping with her.  Her reason?  She said I always look so nice but a bit edgy so she wanted me to help her dress professional but not stuffy or boring.