unfair unfair unfair

TraciInLA

sweetvickid said:

Connie
I was diagnosed the

Connie

I was diagnosed the day before I turned 54  now  I am 59.  Heck of a birthday present.   I wouldn't win a beauty contest but always had a nice figure and  great looking boobs, just a 34B cup but that were nicely shaped and quite perky.  Anyhoo looked into the reconstruction obtions and figured out quickly not the route I wanted to go.  I go flat chested and the funny thing is no one seems to notice.  Shirts with darts I have found by adding a pretty scarf drapped over my chest camoflauges beautifully. Shirts with ruffles or a strong pattern also help camoflage.

 

There are some fashions I can't wear but I have not regretted my decision.  Sometimes I think I am dowdy.  Recently our graduated assistant (young 24 yr old) asked me if I would go shopping with her.  Her reason?  She said I always look so nice but a bit edgy so she wanted me to help her dress professional but not stuffy or boring. 

Vicki, would you go shopping with ME?

What a nice compliment from a 24-year-old: You dress "nice but edgy" and "professional, but not stuffy or boring."  I love that description!

Could you lead a CSN "shopping field trip" for those of us who could use some help in that area?  I'll be the first to sign up!

 Traci

crselby

lintx said:

Hi Connie

I had the diep flap in same day surgery following the bilateral.  I'm sure you know about that option.  Plastic surgeon uses your stomach tissue in reconstruction, so you have no implants.  I opted for a bilateral in the beginning.  It seemed like one more line of defense, and I got a free tummy tuck, also!  Whatever you choose, I see you are a beautiful lady and will be fine.  Your silver hair is pretty, too!!  I hope Clementine sees your post.  She has implants and has told us how much she loves her choice.  She can share her thoughts with you on that option. I wish you well.  Linda 

diep procedure

Hi Linda.  I thought I knew about Diep but was misinformed.  Apparently there is no muscle cut, right?  How are you doing?  I'm considering this option.  I heard there is a very very good place in New Orleans that does this.  It requires a micro-plastic surgeon, right? The next advancement beyond diep is called APEX.  Not sure how it's different.  Tell me what you can, Linda!!!   Thanks!

~~Connie~~

Meemoo123

morgamed said:

Flat is the new Sexy!

I’m telling you I will never stuff, puff, hide, foob or any other word that would fit where my now beautiful cancer free flat chest resides.  I have a new found freedom.  I do wear a chest bumper and that is to control the lymphedema in my left arm.  It really doesn’t fill out any shirt enough to make me look like I have anything there. 

My whole thought on going flat.  I am planting visual seeds for everyone to see that they all need to do an annual checkup and mammogram or they just might end up like me.  I will be that guinea pig. 

 

I live in NW Florida and it’s hot here…so braless is WONDERFUL!

Flat is the new sexy

I think that is probally great for you. My concern for me is I used to weigh 290 lbs now I weigh 170 and have a belly of fat   I feel I am not going to be able to go flat. I just don't know. I have just been dx and having a bilateral masxctomy with rt side lympe nodes. I am scared. 

alabama_survivor

Meemoo123 said:

Flat is the new sexy

I think that is probally great for you. My concern for me is I used to weigh 290 lbs now I weigh 170 and have a belly of fat   I feel I am not going to be able to go flat. I just don't know. I have just been dx and having a bilateral masxctomy with rt side lympe nodes. I am scared. 

I feel your pain. I had  5

I feel your pain. I had  5 moths of chemo followed by dmx then radiation. 5 weeks into ration developed sores. Eventually enire area started weeping and I developed an infection. I'm better, but I have no choice but to go flat while everything finishes healing. I am 5'3" and weigh 175, so I too have a belly on me. I was self consciou s at first, but I don't care any more. No reconstruction for me but I do plan to get foobs. I won't be wearing them all the time though.

KathiM

TraciInLA said:

Going flat after bilateral mastectomy

Connie,

I had a bilateral mastectomy with no reconstruction on January 29th, and have been going flat ever since.  

I haven't worn any kind prosthetic or "foob" -- I haven't worn a bra since January 28th, and am really kind of loving the freedom of just puttting on a shirt and go.

I'm a Human Resources Manager for a "business casual" office, so admittedly I don't own a single article of clothing with darts.  I live in the San Fernando Valley in Southern California, where it's already in the 80s, and I have hot flashes from Tamoxifen, so layers or bulky, baggy clothes are out of the question.

I wear lightweight sweaters and blouses to work -- all close-fitting in my normal size, and they make no secret of the fact that I don't have boobs.

For me, how I feel, is -- so I don't have boobs, so what?  There are people in this world who don't have an arm, or a leg, and they can't hide it -- why should I be expected to hide my flat chest?  That's just how I feel, for myself.

I used the surgery as an excuse to seek out some "retail therapy" -- I bought some new sweaters in beautiful, rich colors, and some new pretty necklaces and scarves and lipsticks as some simple, low-fuss ways to get me feeling more feminine again after lying around recovering from surgery.  

I look fabulous -- the rest of the ladies in my office WISH they could look this good! 

Lastly, nearly every woman who chooses to go flat says the exact same thing:  No one notices.  Seriously.  Nobody's looking at my chest.  Really.

Hope that helps,

Traci

You DO look FAB, dear one!!!!

....and if you look at runway models, many have absolutely no cleavage....

 

BIG hugs to you....if anything comes from this lymph node, off come 'the girls'....I had said that before...

 

Hugs, Kathi

KathiM

Connie, I am putting my arms around you.....

I can't help with this, but thank you for posting!!!

 

If my swollen lymph node turns out to be 'something'....I will be having 'the girls' removed....I had said that before...back in 2005 with the lumpectomy....

 

I have my 'big' scar up and down my belly from the rectal cancer/hysterectomy, so I am comfortable with how surgery can change appearances....

 

I love the responses here!  It makes me feel better about my choice!  I had implants, above muscle, over 20 years ago...for ego reasons, not cancer.  I have not had any trouble with them all of these years, except at the beginning a mamogram was harder...but now, with digital, there is not troubles with this, either....

 

It is such a personal choice, IMHO....I am sending big hugs to you!!!

 

Hugs, Kathi

lintx

KathiM said:

Connie, I am putting my arms around you.....

I can't help with this, but thank you for posting!!!

 

If my swollen lymph node turns out to be 'something'....I will be having 'the girls' removed....I had said that before...back in 2005 with the lumpectomy....

 

I have my 'big' scar up and down my belly from the rectal cancer/hysterectomy, so I am comfortable with how surgery can change appearances....

 

I love the responses here!  It makes me feel better about my choice!  I had implants, above muscle, over 20 years ago...for ego reasons, not cancer.  I have not had any trouble with them all of these years, except at the beginning a mamogram was harder...but now, with digital, there is not troubles with this, either....

 

It is such a personal choice, IMHO....I am sending big hugs to you!!!

 

Hugs, Kathi

Hi Connie

I just saw your questions about Diep Flap.  I had mine done in San Antonio through PRMA, Dr Chrysopoulo. Spelling may be incorrect!  Go to their site, and you'll see videos and all the explanations necessary.  I've never had regrets.  Any Dr there is great.  I don't know a thing about the advanced surgery you mentioned.  Linda

crselby

insurance won't cover reconstruction done by quality docs becaus

Six years ago our insurance would have covered a trip out of state for treatment.  This year it does not.  I had made up my mind after a very emotional night last night to have bilateral Mastectomies with a reconstruction called DIEP flap.  It's the only "natural" kind of transferring of tissue that doesn't weaken other parts of the body.  It still isn't an easy process and the bilat mx and the DIEP combined take about as long as the human body can withstand being under anesthesia.  And then there's the 6- 8 weeks for recovery.  But I had made up my mind.  Turns out MDAnderson doesn't do them here, Mayo does but my insurance has never covered them, and the other 2 plastic surgeons in our state have questionable skills and experience at this highly technical procedure.  BUT THEY ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE MY NOW CRAPPY INSURANCE WILL COVER. What happened to my once good coverage that we now pay double premiums for??  I can risk having the implants fail because of the lack of skill in this state or I can go back to just having mastectomies and go flat.  That's pretty much the acceptable option left.

Have I said this before? : I hate our health care system.

I am so depressed and disappointed that I would consider just ignoring this whole thing and see where my cancer takes me.  We all gotta die sometime, right?  Of something, right?  I'll just avoid all this freaking stress and bullsh*t and save my money to put my grandkids through college. Good luck to the rest of you; I hope you have better luck than I've had.

~~Connie~~

 

 

 

 

cpotter1001

crselby said:

insurance won't cover reconstruction done by quality docs becaus

Six years ago our insurance would have covered a trip out of state for treatment.  This year it does not.  I had made up my mind after a very emotional night last night to have bilateral Mastectomies with a reconstruction called DIEP flap.  It's the only "natural" kind of transferring of tissue that doesn't weaken other parts of the body.  It still isn't an easy process and the bilat mx and the DIEP combined take about as long as the human body can withstand being under anesthesia.  And then there's the 6- 8 weeks for recovery.  But I had made up my mind.  Turns out MDAnderson doesn't do them here, Mayo does but my insurance has never covered them, and the other 2 plastic surgeons in our state have questionable skills and experience at this highly technical procedure.  BUT THEY ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE MY NOW CRAPPY INSURANCE WILL COVER. What happened to my once good coverage that we now pay double premiums for??  I can risk having the implants fail because of the lack of skill in this state or I can go back to just having mastectomies and go flat.  That's pretty much the acceptable option left.

Have I said this before? : I hate our health care system.

I am so depressed and disappointed that I would consider just ignoring this whole thing and see where my cancer takes me.  We all gotta die sometime, right?  Of something, right?  I'll just avoid all this freaking stress and bullsh*t and save my money to put my grandkids through college. Good luck to the rest of you; I hope you have better luck than I've had.

~~Connie~~

 

 

 

 

Health insurance Can Bite

I understand your frustration Connie.  I don't know if anything I say will help.  My mother had breast cancer and she lived a pretty long life even though she had a reoccurrence or two after that. I unfortunately got it too.  Only in one breast.  They weren't large to start with so one side is now a Cup size A (had a lumpenectomy) and the other is a size B/C.  I didn't opt for the breast reconstruction at the time which I should have.  But, I was so traumatized by getting breast cancer that I just wanted it done and over. My mother had a radical so it was a long healing process for her and I had to go thru that with her.  I just wanted it gone and I didn't want to deal with it much at all.  I've been lucky so far but to get by  - I use one of those cup size enhancers you can get at most major retail stores like target or kohls.  Whereas it gives me my figure somewhat back - I have never felt normal. As a single woman in my fifties now - it has affected my ability to be with anybody.  I can't even bear to look at my body in the mirror at times. I didn't have the perfect body before but I was content with how I looked physically. I am still amazed today how much that has affected my perception and self confidence. I would have opted for the breast reconstruction today but I don't have insurance right now. Alot of these ladies appear to be strong women and I envy their courageousness.  Insurance can be very lacking depending on where you live and nothing fair about that. Wish we all had some lottery winnings lying around - that would be a great help!!   I don't really have an answer for you but I think your kids and grandkids would want you around. I guess either way you are rolling the dice.  But, isn't it worth a roll?  I wish you the best and hope that things will work out for you.  You seemed like a lovely lady with people who love you and you seem like you can weather this storm.  Best of luck.

 

Carol

KathiM

crselby said:

insurance won't cover reconstruction done by quality docs becaus

Six years ago our insurance would have covered a trip out of state for treatment.  This year it does not.  I had made up my mind after a very emotional night last night to have bilateral Mastectomies with a reconstruction called DIEP flap.  It's the only "natural" kind of transferring of tissue that doesn't weaken other parts of the body.  It still isn't an easy process and the bilat mx and the DIEP combined take about as long as the human body can withstand being under anesthesia.  And then there's the 6- 8 weeks for recovery.  But I had made up my mind.  Turns out MDAnderson doesn't do them here, Mayo does but my insurance has never covered them, and the other 2 plastic surgeons in our state have questionable skills and experience at this highly technical procedure.  BUT THEY ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE MY NOW CRAPPY INSURANCE WILL COVER. What happened to my once good coverage that we now pay double premiums for??  I can risk having the implants fail because of the lack of skill in this state or I can go back to just having mastectomies and go flat.  That's pretty much the acceptable option left.

Have I said this before? : I hate our health care system.

I am so depressed and disappointed that I would consider just ignoring this whole thing and see where my cancer takes me.  We all gotta die sometime, right?  Of something, right?  I'll just avoid all this freaking stress and bullsh*t and save my money to put my grandkids through college. Good luck to the rest of you; I hope you have better luck than I've had.

~~Connie~~

 

 

 

 

Oh, dear....putting my arms around you....

This new 'improved' health care is for the birds, I agree!!!

 

I have learned that you just keep appealing, and appealing, and appealing.....they get tired of dealing with you....

 

BIG hugs, Kathi