Giving-up
Comments
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Prayers for you and don't give up
Your wife loves you so much, Hondo. It will seem like a lot to give up. Thanks for always being there for anyone on the board. You always have a word of encouragement and a prayer for anyone on the board and I would like to return the favour. I will be praying especially for you tonight. God bless.0 -
Hi PattyThanks as I toopattyanny said:Giving up
Yes Hondo, For the last 3 weeks,I have been thinking of giving up. Sometimes the pain of depression, the side effects, and the responsibility of being a single parent is just too much. I do not see a "light at the end of this tunnel." I am grateful to be alive, but am I really living? The only thing that has kept me functioning is prayers. As far a caregiver, I envy those who have that support, love and understanding. Being a caregiver is a huge task, and they are truly angels! I have "virtual" support with other survivors, and my sister who lives out of state who will give me a boot in the ars, or encouraging words as needed. I know many have it so much worse then I, but if it was not for my children, I would have thrown in the towel. I pray for strength, and hang on to the little hope I have, that things will get better. I feel so useless.
Hondo, you matter! You are the back-bone of this site, along with many others, who are always there giving important info, love, encouragement, hope to all newbies, and veteran survivors. I don't think anyone could fill your shoes! My prayers are with you, and know you have made a difference in my life, along with hundreds (thousands?) of others.
God bless you and your special wife. May God comfort you during this dark time.
Patty
Hi Patty
Thanks as I too need to be encouraged at times and your post is what keeps me here and keeps me going. Like you said we all have ups and downs and good days with bad days and through it all I find that pray is what gives me the strength I need. I am not sure what Gods plan is but this I do know his eyes are always on the sparrow and I know he watches over all of us.
God bless and be with you
Hondo0 -
LinksHondo said:The best of friends
John I know what you mean, my Pit was there and sometimes she would lay there on the side of me after treatment, some how it made me feel a lot better; don’t know if it was the warmth from her body or what.
My
Little Pit
Hondo
Someone has figured out how to do links finally...LOL. Who said you can't teach an old dog new tricks.
Congrats,
JG0 -
German ShepherdSkiffin16 said:My Chocolate Labs
Believe it or not, my two choclate labs, Kali and Jasmine.
I was allowed to work from home for my treatment and recovery, all of 2009 through Labor Day..nine months.
My two chocolate candy stripers were with me everyday. Giving me hugs, kisses, always with me...checking on me and keeping me company.
They were some of the best medicine and therapy I could have ever asked for.
Kali & Jazzy
Of course my wife was outstanding and did the unimaginable.
Best,
John
Our german shepherd, Elli, was there for both Pat and me the entire time
It is amazing that dogs seem to know just what we need. Sadly, we lost Elli in April. We now have a new german shepherd that also seems to know just what we need and when we need it. Remember, dog is GOD spelled backwards.
Nice to know there are so many animal lovers.
Myka0 -
Elliluv2cut1 said:German Shepherd
Our german shepherd, Elli, was there for both Pat and me the entire time
It is amazing that dogs seem to know just what we need. Sadly, we lost Elli in April. We now have a new german shepherd that also seems to know just what we need and when we need it. Remember, dog is GOD spelled backwards.
Nice to know there are so many animal lovers.
Myka
So very sorry that you lost Elli... We had a black female lab for 13 years that we lost several years ago now, Ebony.
She is gone in body, but lives with us every day in spirit...
She was truely a wonderful companion and she was mine, or I was hers, not sure which...LOL.
She is still loved and in our hearts.
Ebony & Me
I can definitely realize the loss, but happiness you now have with your new family member.
Best,
John0 -
Old DogsSkiffin16 said:Links
Someone has figured out how to do links finally...LOL. Who said you can't teach an old dog new tricks.
Congrats,
JG
Yep you are so right; the sad thing is so simple an old dog can do it.
Thanks for all the help it just took time my friend. :+})
Hondo0 -
My Best Friend NanaSkiffin16 said:Elli
So very sorry that you lost Elli... We had a black female lab for 13 years that we lost several years ago now, Ebony.
She is gone in body, but lives with us every day in spirit...
She was truely a wonderful companion and she was mine, or I was hers, not sure which...LOL.
She is still loved and in our hearts.
Ebony & Me
I can definitely realize the loss, but happiness you now have with your new family member.
Best,
John
The hardest thing I ever did in live was the day I had to put my Black Lab Nana to sleep. She got cancer of the milk glands, I never had a dog like her before and it is hard even now to think about her. Seeing you and Ebony just brings back so many good memories back of when she was here with me.
My kids drop Harley off on me 8 years ago, a Pit Bull and she too has a personality all her own.
What a different they make in our life
Hondo0 -
At some point, we ALL did!
This is an excerpt from the book I've written (and now seeing if it can be published) about my experience...
.
.
Before we started the treatments Dr. Konefal warned me of what will happen in the last or second-to-last week of treatments. “You really won’t start to feel that bad until the 6th, 7th or final week. By then you’ll start to wonder if it’s actually working. If it’s actually doing anything. You’ll second guess why you’re going through this. At some point you’re going to want to give up. You’ll tell me that it’s not worth it. You’ll want to stop and get off. But that’s precisely the time to keep going, finish it out and make it through. We’re here to help you. Whatever you do, don’t give up in the final week.”
“Sounds good to me doc.”
6 weeks later…
“STOP THE RIDE I WANT TO GET OFF!!!!” “I GIVE UP!!!! I GIVE UP!!!!”
Ooooo… Sorry about that. I had a momentary lapse of strength there for a moment. God I need something to get me through this. I need some kind of sign. Some kind of inspiration. Please! Give me something. Anything! I don’t know if I can make it.
.
.
Saturday, September 25, 2010 8:45 AM, EDT
“INCOMING!!!!” Kyle comes flying in to my bedroom and does a 6-year-old, top-rope-leap onto the bed! Gracie is right behind him and jumps up too. The two of them give me a hug so hard I can’t breathe. Kyle tickles me and squeals, “croak for me!” (the pain meds made me no longer ticklish – not in the least. And I have no voice at all, but I make these croaking sounds like I’m laughing anyway.) They both kiss me on both cheeks at the same time and say, “good morning Daddy! We love you!” And as fast as they flew in to the room, they run out.
BEST DAMN SIGN YOU’LL EVER GET!!! HOO-YAH! Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo this cancer! I’m gonna fight and beat this thing! BRING ON THE PAIN! THAT MEANS IT’S WORKING! BRING ON THE LAST WEEK! I’M GOING TO LAUGH MY **** OFF THROUGH THIS LAST WEEK!
CHAAAAAARRRRRGE!!!!
P.S. Thanks big guy upstairs!
.
.
.
.
From me to you...
In the love of your wife, life is worth living - never give up!
In the joy of friendship, life is worth living - never give up!
In the activities that make you happy, life is worth living - never give up!
In the funny things that make you laugh despite it all, life is worth living - never give up!
In the wonderment of an infant's eyes, life is worth living - never give up!
In the beauty and complexity that is nature, life is worth living - never give up!
In the small simple things that make you briefly smile, life is worth living - never give up!
In beauty of a song, art, the written word, life is worth living - never give up!
In the marvel of technology, advancement and exploration, life is worth living - never give up!
In the spark that a single touch on your hand brings, life is worth living - never give up!
In the inspiration that you bring to others through your struggle, life is worth living - never give up!
And... In the challenge in of itself to overcome this obstacle. To beat cancer, survive and become a stronger, better person as a result of it. To leap over this hurdle that the Universe has put in front of you and succeed with pride for the honor, glory and love for God and your loved ones, friends and fellow man...
Life is worth living - never give up!0 -
Thank youBigfuzzydoug said:At some point, we ALL did!
This is an excerpt from the book I've written (and now seeing if it can be published) about my experience...
.
.
Before we started the treatments Dr. Konefal warned me of what will happen in the last or second-to-last week of treatments. “You really won’t start to feel that bad until the 6th, 7th or final week. By then you’ll start to wonder if it’s actually working. If it’s actually doing anything. You’ll second guess why you’re going through this. At some point you’re going to want to give up. You’ll tell me that it’s not worth it. You’ll want to stop and get off. But that’s precisely the time to keep going, finish it out and make it through. We’re here to help you. Whatever you do, don’t give up in the final week.”
“Sounds good to me doc.”
6 weeks later…
“STOP THE RIDE I WANT TO GET OFF!!!!” “I GIVE UP!!!! I GIVE UP!!!!”
Ooooo… Sorry about that. I had a momentary lapse of strength there for a moment. God I need something to get me through this. I need some kind of sign. Some kind of inspiration. Please! Give me something. Anything! I don’t know if I can make it.
.
.
Saturday, September 25, 2010 8:45 AM, EDT
“INCOMING!!!!” Kyle comes flying in to my bedroom and does a 6-year-old, top-rope-leap onto the bed! Gracie is right behind him and jumps up too. The two of them give me a hug so hard I can’t breathe. Kyle tickles me and squeals, “croak for me!” (the pain meds made me no longer ticklish – not in the least. And I have no voice at all, but I make these croaking sounds like I’m laughing anyway.) They both kiss me on both cheeks at the same time and say, “good morning Daddy! We love you!” And as fast as they flew in to the room, they run out.
BEST DAMN SIGN YOU’LL EVER GET!!! HOO-YAH! Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo this cancer! I’m gonna fight and beat this thing! BRING ON THE PAIN! THAT MEANS IT’S WORKING! BRING ON THE LAST WEEK! I’M GOING TO LAUGH MY **** OFF THROUGH THIS LAST WEEK!
CHAAAAAARRRRRGE!!!!
P.S. Thanks big guy upstairs!
.
.
.
.
From me to you...
In the love of your wife, life is worth living - never give up!
In the joy of friendship, life is worth living - never give up!
In the activities that make you happy, life is worth living - never give up!
In the funny things that make you laugh despite it all, life is worth living - never give up!
In the wonderment of an infant's eyes, life is worth living - never give up!
In the beauty and complexity that is nature, life is worth living - never give up!
In the small simple things that make you briefly smile, life is worth living - never give up!
In beauty of a song, art, the written word, life is worth living - never give up!
In the marvel of technology, advancement and exploration, life is worth living - never give up!
In the spark that a single touch on your hand brings, life is worth living - never give up!
In the inspiration that you bring to others through your struggle, life is worth living - never give up!
And... In the challenge in of itself to overcome this obstacle. To beat cancer, survive and become a stronger, better person as a result of it. To leap over this hurdle that the Universe has put in front of you and succeed with pride for the honor, glory and love for God and your loved ones, friends and fellow man...
Life is worth living - never give up!
I did not like the title of this post. Hondo never seemed negative in any of his posts. Thank you BigFuzzy, this touched my heart. I am having problems with the keyboard because there is a lot of water coming out of my eyes, glad I always have napkins handy.
To life!0 -
Thanks Doug.............KTeacher said:Thank you
I did not like the title of this post. Hondo never seemed negative in any of his posts. Thank you BigFuzzy, this touched my heart. I am having problems with the keyboard because there is a lot of water coming out of my eyes, glad I always have napkins handy.
To life!
Just Wow !
Larry0 -
I have to think the thought
I have to think the thought about giving up passes through all of our minds at one point or another. How can we expect a human being to go through all of this without considering it? And yet we all push through with the help of those around us.
For me it is my 2 dogs, my parents, my friends, my co-workers and my teammates. The best thing about dogs is that they don't treat me any differently so it allows me to feel normal. And I don't have to talk to them so it preserved what little I had left of my voice.
Leave no stone unturned in finding what you need to feel better. And give thanks along the way to those who help.0 -
DogsPatti678 said:I have to think the thought
I have to think the thought about giving up passes through all of our minds at one point or another. How can we expect a human being to go through all of this without considering it? And yet we all push through with the help of those around us.
For me it is my 2 dogs, my parents, my friends, my co-workers and my teammates. The best thing about dogs is that they don't treat me any differently so it allows me to feel normal. And I don't have to talk to them so it preserved what little I had left of my voice.
Leave no stone unturned in finding what you need to feel better. And give thanks along the way to those who help.
Patti, you need to check out my post and others further up this thread. We have links to our CSN Expressions pages, all showing our doggy care givers.
Best,
John0 -
Thanks for all of your replies about ElliHondo said:My Best Friend Nana
The hardest thing I ever did in live was the day I had to put my Black Lab Nana to sleep. She got cancer of the milk glands, I never had a dog like her before and it is hard even now to think about her. Seeing you and Ebony just brings back so many good memories back of when she was here with me.
My kids drop Harley off on me 8 years ago, a Pit Bull and she too has a personality all her own.
What a different they make in our life
Hondo
You guys really get it. I am obviously not as technologically savvy as Hondo (and certainly not as savvy as John), so I don't know how to post pictures or a link except as a profile pic. I will try to figure it out and post a picture of Elli and now Shelby. Elli's spirit is with us every day and I believe it carries on in our new dog Shelby.
Ok, I did figure out how to post the pics to my expressions page if anyone is interested.
Take care and love those wonderful caregivers every day!
Myka0 -
I'll Helpluv2cut1 said:Thanks for all of your replies about Elli
You guys really get it. I am obviously not as technologically savvy as Hondo (and certainly not as savvy as John), so I don't know how to post pictures or a link except as a profile pic. I will try to figure it out and post a picture of Elli and now Shelby. Elli's spirit is with us every day and I believe it carries on in our new dog Shelby.
Ok, I did figure out how to post the pics to my expressions page if anyone is interested.
Take care and love those wonderful caregivers every day!
Myka
I'll help you out with the links;
Elli
Shelby
Both are wonderful family members....
Best,
John0 -
Four legged caregiver.luv2cut1 said:Thanks for all of your replies about Elli
You guys really get it. I am obviously not as technologically savvy as Hondo (and certainly not as savvy as John), so I don't know how to post pictures or a link except as a profile pic. I will try to figure it out and post a picture of Elli and now Shelby. Elli's spirit is with us every day and I believe it carries on in our new dog Shelby.
Ok, I did figure out how to post the pics to my expressions page if anyone is interested.
Take care and love those wonderful caregivers every day!
Myka
Guess Nizzy is my only caregiver. I just wish I had a caregiver with opposable thumbs! This way he could make me tea, and cook dinner for me every once in a while.
Anyone who knows me, knows how I have felt about my animals. They are like my children. I was devistated when I lost my dog, Kiaya. I went two days without a dog, then I went to pick up Nizzy. He was the best gift ever. I love him with all my heart. He is the sweetest boy, and I wouldn't be here without him. We are inseparable.0 -
Hi DougBigfuzzydoug said:At some point, we ALL did!
This is an excerpt from the book I've written (and now seeing if it can be published) about my experience...
.
.
Before we started the treatments Dr. Konefal warned me of what will happen in the last or second-to-last week of treatments. “You really won’t start to feel that bad until the 6th, 7th or final week. By then you’ll start to wonder if it’s actually working. If it’s actually doing anything. You’ll second guess why you’re going through this. At some point you’re going to want to give up. You’ll tell me that it’s not worth it. You’ll want to stop and get off. But that’s precisely the time to keep going, finish it out and make it through. We’re here to help you. Whatever you do, don’t give up in the final week.”
“Sounds good to me doc.”
6 weeks later…
“STOP THE RIDE I WANT TO GET OFF!!!!” “I GIVE UP!!!! I GIVE UP!!!!”
Ooooo… Sorry about that. I had a momentary lapse of strength there for a moment. God I need something to get me through this. I need some kind of sign. Some kind of inspiration. Please! Give me something. Anything! I don’t know if I can make it.
.
.
Saturday, September 25, 2010 8:45 AM, EDT
“INCOMING!!!!” Kyle comes flying in to my bedroom and does a 6-year-old, top-rope-leap onto the bed! Gracie is right behind him and jumps up too. The two of them give me a hug so hard I can’t breathe. Kyle tickles me and squeals, “croak for me!” (the pain meds made me no longer ticklish – not in the least. And I have no voice at all, but I make these croaking sounds like I’m laughing anyway.) They both kiss me on both cheeks at the same time and say, “good morning Daddy! We love you!” And as fast as they flew in to the room, they run out.
BEST DAMN SIGN YOU’LL EVER GET!!! HOO-YAH! Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo this cancer! I’m gonna fight and beat this thing! BRING ON THE PAIN! THAT MEANS IT’S WORKING! BRING ON THE LAST WEEK! I’M GOING TO LAUGH MY **** OFF THROUGH THIS LAST WEEK!
CHAAAAAARRRRRGE!!!!
P.S. Thanks big guy upstairs!
.
.
.
.
From me to you...
In the love of your wife, life is worth living - never give up!
In the joy of friendship, life is worth living - never give up!
In the activities that make you happy, life is worth living - never give up!
In the funny things that make you laugh despite it all, life is worth living - never give up!
In the wonderment of an infant's eyes, life is worth living - never give up!
In the beauty and complexity that is nature, life is worth living - never give up!
In the small simple things that make you briefly smile, life is worth living - never give up!
In beauty of a song, art, the written word, life is worth living - never give up!
In the marvel of technology, advancement and exploration, life is worth living - never give up!
In the spark that a single touch on your hand brings, life is worth living - never give up!
In the inspiration that you bring to others through your struggle, life is worth living - never give up!
And... In the challenge in of itself to overcome this obstacle. To beat cancer, survive and become a stronger, better person as a result of it. To leap over this hurdle that the Universe has put in front of you and succeed with pride for the honor, glory and love for God and your loved ones, friends and fellow man...
Life is worth living - never give up!
Wow that is beautiful my friend,
In the family and friendship we get on CSN life is all the more worth living, so we can never give up because we need each other so much.
I wish I could tell you how much I need to hear that this morning, Thanks so much my friend
Hondo0 -
Hi PattiPatti678 said:I have to think the thought
I have to think the thought about giving up passes through all of our minds at one point or another. How can we expect a human being to go through all of this without considering it? And yet we all push through with the help of those around us.
For me it is my 2 dogs, my parents, my friends, my co-workers and my teammates. The best thing about dogs is that they don't treat me any differently so it allows me to feel normal. And I don't have to talk to them so it preserved what little I had left of my voice.
Leave no stone unturned in finding what you need to feel better. And give thanks along the way to those who help.
I too don’t know what I would have done with out my Pit Bull Harley. She like a faithful friend was there waiting on me everyday. Somehow she knew I was sick and always stayed with me till I felt better.
Thanks
Hondo0 -
Thanks John...I see theSkiffin16 said:Dogs
Patti, you need to check out my post and others further up this thread. We have links to our CSN Expressions pages, all showing our doggy care givers.
Best,
John
Thanks John...I see the posts and I'll check them out.
I have a ritual called "Hand feed your dog Friday". I sit on the kitchen floor every Friday morning and feed my dogs out of my hands. It's my way for repaying them for taking such good care of me.0 -
That's very sweet! TheyHondo said:Hi Patti
I too don’t know what I would have done with out my Pit Bull Harley. She like a faithful friend was there waiting on me everyday. Somehow she knew I was sick and always stayed with me till I felt better.
Thanks
Hondo
That's very sweet! They definitely know you are sick. My pom Charlie knew the cancer was there. He would dig on my throat before the docs even detected it. The only time he did that was right before they confirmed the cancer was there.0
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