Is anyone else scared? After Elizabeth Edwards passing, I feel very anxious about a recurrence, and

Options
124»

Comments

  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #62
    Options
    Eil4186 said:

    I understand how you feel.
    I understand how you feel. When she had her first recurrence I remember feeling very anxious, and fearful. Her death effectedme in two ways also. I am very sad for her and her children. I am also feeling that old nagging worry of a recurrence rearing its ugly head again. I found myself this morning in the car, hearing my surgeon's voice over and over ; "If it comes back, it will take your life."

    He is a very caring, empathetic doctor, and when I was diagnosed, I was a wreck, asking him questions and pressing him about what would happen if I had a recurrence. He was being honest, which was what I wanted.

    I think that we have to find ways to deal with these feelings. A coworker just lost her sister to breast cancer. She had BC 15 years ago and it recurred a year ago. I was so sorry for her family, but in addition I was scared as well.

    We have to find a way to live and be happy despite the fear of BC.

    Despite the fear....I agree!!!!
    Cancer took many years of my life. It doesn't get any more! I say that over and over. If it has the nerve to try again...well, then I'll give it some time...otherwise...GO AWAY, beast!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #63
    Options
    MAJW said:

    IT Slaps us in the face.......
    It has made me terribly sad......I live just 35 miles from the Edwards, so it has been almost 24/7 coverage here about Elizabeth's death.....her funeral is going to be televised locally...

    I think it's important to remember that her original diagnosis was stage III.....she freely admitted she had not had a mammogram in almost 5 years, which she greatly regretted.....
    she was in an advanced stage of BC when originally diagnosed. I don't think it has ever been reported exactly what type of bc she had...not that it matters....

    I've often wondered if it had anything to do with all the fertility drugs and treatment she had in order to conceive her two younger children at age 48 and 50......again, not that it matters......

    I try my best to not think about the what ifs.......I had no control of getting BC in the first place and I can't control a recurrence.......I just try to live as normally as possible...

    God Rest Elizabeth's soul....

    Peace be with each of my "sisters"

    Thanks for details and reminder- Stage IIIC was my diagnosis
    Thank you for bringing this up. Friendly reminder is alway helpful, especially for those who have similar diagnosis. Yes, we often forget that the rate of survival depends on stage. My initial diagnosis was stage III C. As much as you fear please do not forget to be sensitive and compassionate to others. There are several of us here with advanced breast cancer as well as battling stage IV.
    Cheers,
    New Flower
  • ms.sunshine
    ms.sunshine Member Posts: 707 Member
    #64
    Options
    KathiM said:

    Despite the fear....I agree!!!!
    Cancer took many years of my life. It doesn't get any more! I say that over and over. If it has the nerve to try again...well, then I'll give it some time...otherwise...GO AWAY, beast!

    Hugs, Kathi

    I have no fear
    I too believe I will live to be very old. I enjoy, and live my life. I absolutely refuse to think or obsess about cancer everyday. I had no control over it before dx, and have no control now. It is what it is, that also is a saying of mine.

    It was a shocker. I thought Elizabeth was doing good, then I heard of her passing. I also got angry thinking of her crappy husband, and what he put her thru. She was and still is a beautiful graceful woman.
  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
    #65
    Options
    DianeBC said:

    You sisters are amazing! I
    You sisters are amazing! I have read your posts over and over and even had my husband read them. He thinks you are all awesome! By reading what you wrote, he even understands better now. I hope you don't mind.

    My fear seems better as I am so encouraged by what has been written. I realize that if I continue to worry about a recurrence, that it will only take away my happiness for the day.

    So, I am going to pull up my big girl pants and get through this. Mainly, by the help of my dear, sweet husband and my sisters in pink on here.


    Thank you and I love you all,


    Diane

    I am so happy to read that
    I am so happy to read that you are feeling better now Diane. I think I might borrow those big girl pants of yours sometime. hehe


    Hugs, Debby
  • Moopy23
    Moopy23 Member Posts: 1,751 Member
    #66
    Options
    New Flower said:

    Thanks for details and reminder- Stage IIIC was my diagnosis
    Thank you for bringing this up. Friendly reminder is alway helpful, especially for those who have similar diagnosis. Yes, we often forget that the rate of survival depends on stage. My initial diagnosis was stage III C. As much as you fear please do not forget to be sensitive and compassionate to others. There are several of us here with advanced breast cancer as well as battling stage IV.
    Cheers,
    New Flower

    "It's important to remember...". Thanks, New Flower
    Thank you, New Flower. However we may be divided by Medicine or Science--diagnosis, prognosis, stage, node, size, etc.--sensitivity and compassion will unite us. Thanks for the reminder, prompted by your own sensitive and compassionate nature.
  • Kristin N
    Kristin N Member Posts: 1,968 Member
    #67
    Options
    new2me said:

    Yes, yes yes
    I feel alittle depressed today. Almost at the verg of tears. I didn't connect it to Elizabeths passing until I just read your post. Then realized - what was going on with me. All last night I kept thinking about a reaccourance on me and a panic feeling came over me - like an oppression. so hard for me to find the words. But the thought that this will hang over me the rest of my life is weighing on my right now. I want OUT !! I want to go back in time to where I was me... that never worried about cancer, pain or death.
    Yes, I'm scared but I also know that this feeling will not last.
    Thank you for listening to my whine. Noone else understand except you guys. :)

    Much love,

    Kelly

    The news about Elizabeth was
    The news about Elizabeth was upsetting. I cried also, as, the thoughts of a recurrence got in my mind too. I chose though to not let it stay long though, and, just said a prayer for her and her family. I pray you start feeling better Diane and don't let this news make you worry for long.

    Kristin ♥
  • kperdue70
    kperdue70 Member Posts: 4
    #68
    Options
    I just turned 40 and was diag in Sept (just before my 40th) yay happy birthday right? Due to my age, my oncologist warned me that I would be in a higher percentage of recurrence. That didn't sit very well with me but I have since found inner strength and positivity. I'm also confident in my oncologist to get this b*tch out! BC has changed my perspective on alot of things. Humor and amazing support is what has really helped me. I'm also blogging about it as well which is extremely therapeutic. I also realized just how much I enjoy writing! Nothing like cancer to push you in the right direction :) Thanks cancer? Recurrence has been in the back of my mind. I will admit that her death forced the reality of what could be my own mortality. This cancer is very real and there are real and undesirable outcomes that come from it. Every person has their own experience with it. I won't let her death get to me just as I won't let BC either. I have, for the past 2 months been on a high of positive energy, laughter and resound strength. I suppose I could be suppressing some sadness but I haven't let myself go there just yet. I think it's a matter of catching yourself before you allow too much negative energy to emcompass you and bring you down. Kinda like a snowball effect. You think of one bad thing and then every other bad thing attaches onto that and it slowly becomes an out of control snowball. I try to stop that from happening and it usually works. The other alternative is banging my head into the wall until I think more about how much my head hurts instead of recurrence LOL.
    Best of luck to you!!
    ~Kristin
  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
    #69
    Options
    Moopy23 said:

    "It's important to remember...". Thanks, New Flower
    Thank you, New Flower. However we may be divided by Medicine or Science--diagnosis, prognosis, stage, node, size, etc.--sensitivity and compassion will unite us. Thanks for the reminder, prompted by your own sensitive and compassionate nature.

    It has been a long time
    It has been a long time since I have seen you on here Moopy. I pray you are doing well.


    Hugs, Debby
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    #70
    Options
    MAJW said:

    IT Slaps us in the face.......
    It has made me terribly sad......I live just 35 miles from the Edwards, so it has been almost 24/7 coverage here about Elizabeth's death.....her funeral is going to be televised locally...

    I think it's important to remember that her original diagnosis was stage III.....she freely admitted she had not had a mammogram in almost 5 years, which she greatly regretted.....
    she was in an advanced stage of BC when originally diagnosed. I don't think it has ever been reported exactly what type of bc she had...not that it matters....

    I've often wondered if it had anything to do with all the fertility drugs and treatment she had in order to conceive her two younger children at age 48 and 50......again, not that it matters......

    I try my best to not think about the what ifs.......I had no control of getting BC in the first place and I can't control a recurrence.......I just try to live as normally as possible...

    God Rest Elizabeth's soul....

    Peace be with each of my "sisters"

    I am glad you are doing
    I am glad you are doing better Dianne. Focus on the positive and all of the wonderful things that life has to offer, like that wonderful husband of yours.

    Have a happy holiday!


    Lex

Discussion Boards