Is anyone else scared? After Elizabeth Edwards passing, I feel very anxious about a recurrence, and

DianeBC

roseann4 said:

No situation is exactly the same.
What made me most concerned for Elizabeth's survival was that her personal life was so tragic. She handled it well on the outside, but the stress must have been unbearable at times. We all know what stress does to our immune systems. I said to my husband that her husband's bad choices could have shortened her life. I know someone who lived 14 years after a Stage 4 diagnosis and that was more than 10 years ago when they had fewer options. None of us is a statistic so I will do my best not to worry about what I can't control. It isn't always easy.

Roseann

I thought about that too
I thought about that too Roseann, about the stress in her life. And, what you wrote about it being out of our control, I know you are right. I just need to get past this somehow.

DianeBC

ruthielaine said:

Absolutely - feel the same
Absolutely - feel the same way - I've been doing so well lately with not dwelling on bc and actually living my life, looking for a new job, painting the house etc as if I never even had cancer and then all of a sudden this just whacked me over the head. I feel so very bad for her and her family and I hope she's in a better place. I feel extremely anxious and worried and have been searching the internet for as much info as I can find but details aren't readily available. Bottom line is we can't drive ourselves crazy with details because everyone's bc is totally unique and just as there are those like Elizabeth who have seen the worst of this disease, there are just as many that are surviving and thriving. Now I need to have that talk with myself that says just take one day at a time and after all, I could get run over by a bus tomorrow so I won't let this beast win by taking one more day away from me by drowning in my own worry.

A couple of my girlfriends
A couple of my girlfriends came over today, as, my hubby had called them, without my knowing, and, asked them to talk to me. He is worried and concerned for me. They said the same thing you did as to I could get hit by a bus, have a car accident, a plane crash, many things besides cancer could take my life.

I know they meant well, but, somehow, the fear of a recurrence still is on my mind.

DianeBC

warrrior3 said:

Yesterday I experienced
anxiety and cried for Elizabeth. My BC was diagnosed October 15, 2010 and six weeks later I finished mammosite radiation. Six weeks from beginning to end and then started Arimidex last Friday. I try not to think of recurrence, I don't even know if I have accepted the fact that I have BC. My sister has stage IV BC and always related herself to Elizabeth. Yesterday we both took anxiety medication. We spoke on the phone several times and I found myself reminding her that the stress Elizabeth was under definitely shortened her life. Especially the fact that her divorce was going to be final soon.

I was doing really well in
I was doing really well in not thinking about this warrior until the news of Elizabeth. I am so happy you had your sister to talk to. I don't know what I would do without being able to post this on here. I really didn't want to lay it all on anyone else. I knew you would all understand.

DianeBC

natly15 said:

I absolutely agree with Chen
I absolutely agree with Chen and the rest of the gals. It is important to cherish every moment we have with as much gusto our bodies will allow. My mom always said "when It's your time, It's your time". My mom died at the age of 40 from open heart surgery. My mom's death had me frightened from age 40 to 45. I'll be 68 next month and yes I do think about recurrence, but I will not let any of it interfere with enjoying every day I have.

My husband broke the news to me yesterday and we both cried. I said to him, this is one of the realities of BC. We fight this beast with all our might but when it's our time, it's our time. I cried for myself because the reality hit home. I also cried for her and her orphaned children. She was certainly a role model for us pink sisters. She kept on living and moving on till her maker called her home.

Dianne this is a time of reflection for all us gals, but whatever happens you know we will do everything we can to survive.

I know Natly and thank you.
I know Natly and thank you. I will do all that I have to do to survive.

Angie2U

Jean 0609 said:

Had one of those down days yesterday
I felt like doing nothing. Luckily didn't have anything planned, still recovering from my surgery last Wednesday. Just felt tired & yukky all day. Then when I heard the news about Elizabeth Edwards, that was it. I cried. Again, I guess I just needed to get it out. Went to bed early just to get away from everything. Woke up today better. Yes, this all scares me, but I refuse to let this monster keep me down. He may knock me down a little, but I will get right back up fighting. Love you all, Jean

I was like Jean, I didn't
I was like Jean, I didn't want to do anything after I heard. I was so upset and felt the same fear you are Diane. So, know you are not alone in your feelings.

I will get past this and I know all of you will too.


We sisters in pink are a tough breed!


Hugs, Angie

winsomebulldog

Just chiming in to say I share the concern
Hearing about Elizabeth Edward's death has caused the recurrence fear to rear its ugly head in me as well. I am a natural born worrier, learned it from my mother. But I have also learned from my husband not to obsess over what I have no control over and cannot change. I have BC and am in treatment for it as we speak. It was a fairly sizable IDC, hormone neg, Heu2 positive, but no lymph node involvement. In general, my prognosis is excellent. But I also know that I'll spend the rest of my life with the possibility of recurrence hanging over my head. I'm 39 and hopefully have a LOT of years left. Still, seeing Elizabeth's story brought it all home to me again. Like you, Diane, the concern about possible recurrence has always been lingering somewhere in the back of my head. I just choose not to let it get the better of me. As I said, I've learned that there's just no point in worrying about what I cannot change. If it happens one day, it happens. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. (A shameless cliche, I know, but true none-the-less. LOL)

I also have a strong faith in God, meaning I trust that whatever comes, He is in control of it. I know everyone doesn't share my faith, but for me, it has carried me through a lot in my life. It works for me. So if you don't mind, I'll just say a prayer for you and for all of us, that we will continue to have the strength to fight and to resist the fear that comes with this battle.

Hope you find a way to overcome this fear soon. I know it's no fun to have it rattling around in your head all the time.

Love and prayers,

Jennifer

Megan M

Lighthouse_7 said:

Yes, I have been feeling
Yes, I have been feeling anxious ever since I heard she was gravely ill. I find myself with so many questions like, did she take her 5 year pill and what Stage was she?
I read that in 2004 when diagnosed she was Stage 2 then 3 years later it metz into her bones.

I am Stage 3 (WAS) and it makes me very worried all over again.

I'm glad to know that I'm not alone with this feeling.

Sending hugs and praying you
Sending hugs and praying you feel better Diane!

Megan M

Lighthouse_7 said:

Yes, I have been feeling
Yes, I have been feeling anxious ever since I heard she was gravely ill. I find myself with so many questions like, did she take her 5 year pill and what Stage was she?
I read that in 2004 when diagnosed she was Stage 2 then 3 years later it metz into her bones.

I am Stage 3 (WAS) and it makes me very worried all over again.

I'm glad to know that I'm not alone with this feeling.

Sending hugs and praying you
Sending hugs and praying you feel better Diane!

Heatherbelle

Hi Diane,
It stirred the
Hi Diane,
It stirred the feelings in me also. I just completed my chemo 6 weeks ago, and had a hard time transitioning to a "new normal" - and fear of reoccurence was heavy in my mind & heart. Then as I'm finally starting to be at peace with myself we hear of Elizabeth's passing. Then I have to keep my confidence up as I'm talking with my mom (who is still having chemo for her breast cancer) - and telling her that Elizabeth Edwards has passed away, and talking with my husband & daughter that yes, people can die from this disease. It brings thr fears up front & center, you just have to try your best not to let them take over.
*hugs*
Heather

CypressCynthia

natly15 said:

I absolutely agree with Chen
I absolutely agree with Chen and the rest of the gals. It is important to cherish every moment we have with as much gusto our bodies will allow. My mom always said "when It's your time, It's your time". My mom died at the age of 40 from open heart surgery. My mom's death had me frightened from age 40 to 45. I'll be 68 next month and yes I do think about recurrence, but I will not let any of it interfere with enjoying every day I have.

My husband broke the news to me yesterday and we both cried. I said to him, this is one of the realities of BC. We fight this beast with all our might but when it's our time, it's our time. I cried for myself because the reality hit home. I also cried for her and her orphaned children. She was certainly a role model for us pink sisters. She kept on living and moving on till her maker called her home.

Dianne this is a time of reflection for all us gals, but whatever happens you know we will do everything we can to survive.

Beautifully said Natly.
Beautifully said Natly.

CypressCynthia

chenheart said:

It was indeed "odd" but no,
It was indeed "odd" but no, I am not overly frightened...probably because I am already going through it! The reason it is odd? Elizabeth and I are the exact same age, both BC, both recurrance with liver mets. The coincidences in that slapped me in the face, I admit!

That having been said, tomorrow I am headed to beautiful Palm Springs to hear my Reggie sing, and on Saturday he and I will be in equally beautiful Lake Tahoe at a Leon Russell concert. Today is all we have...I still make, and will hopefully be able to keep future plans for as long as I am able. And, Elizabeth, as far as I can tell, was a wonderful role model for doing just that.

Hugs,
Chen♥

OK, you have made me totally
OK, you have made me totally jealous. I stayed once with my sisters at the La Qunita Resort and we had a massage or facial every day. It was soooo relaxing. I've never been to Tahoe but it looks beutiful. Have a wonderful respite, my friend, you deserve it.

P.S. The last time we saw Leon Russell was at the Warehouse in New Orleans in about 1971? I can barely remember that concert ;-) but I think we had a blast!!!!

chenheart

susie09 said:

I don't see anything odd
I don't see anything odd about her death, I see it as a tragedy. She was such a brave woman, a wonderful mother and a faithful wife. She spoke to many, and, was always adored as far as I know.


Her kindness, her thoughtfulness and her bravery will be remembered always.


Elizabeth is with God now and can watch over her children from Heaven.


This kind of news shakes all of us to the core. That is normal. But, you just have to think positive, live your life to the fullest, and, not let these bad feelings of a recurrence take too much of your time.

No one is promised tomorrow, so live for today!

Sorry if I mis-spoke...her
Sorry if I mis-spoke...her passing was odd ( for lack of a better word) only to ME. As I mentioned, like Elizabeth Edwards, I too asm 61, with BC and now a recurrance which has spread to my liver. Kind of a susperstitious thing maybe; had she been 58 or 72 or 67, it would have been just as sad, but wouldn't have had the (again, for ME) "odd" factor

Hugs,
Chen♥

And today I heard, one of my all time favorite Divas has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer...the amazing, fabulous,epitome of soul singer Aretha Franklin. Damned Beast; we need a CURE!

DebbyM

carkris said:

I think it is impossible for
I think it is impossible for each one of us to NOT be affected by this. We can all identify with her situation. Way to close to home. In order to survive we must tuck this away on some level or we could not go on. So it opens those wounds that are just beginning to heal. The reality is some people do get cured from BC and some people are in remission and some people it is a chronic illness. The cruel part is we dont know. It reacts very differently in all of our bodies.I have seen women live for a very long time after diagnosed one or more times. Hope is real!

It really upset me too
It really upset me too Diane. Anytime I hear of a woman dying of breast cancer, it always upsets me. I don't dwell on it, but, like you, it creeps back in.


I pray that you will feel better and can rid yourself of this anxiety. However, I think we will always have it in us at sometime.


Hugs, Debby

Alexis F

CypressCynthia said:

OK, you have made me totally
OK, you have made me totally jealous. I stayed once with my sisters at the La Qunita Resort and we had a massage or facial every day. It was soooo relaxing. I've never been to Tahoe but it looks beutiful. Have a wonderful respite, my friend, you deserve it.

P.S. The last time we saw Leon Russell was at the Warehouse in New Orleans in about 1971? I can barely remember that concert ;-) but I think we had a blast!!!!

I imagine we all had that
I imagine we all had that little voice inside of us going off when we all heard about Elizabeth's death. But, you can't live your life in fear. Sure, it is ok for a fleeting moment to think of a recurrence and to mourn the death of someone so special. But, just don't dwell or think of it too long.


You have a great husband that obviously loves you very much Diane. Enjoy your life together.


Hugs, Lex

Alexis F

CypressCynthia said:

OK, you have made me totally
OK, you have made me totally jealous. I stayed once with my sisters at the La Qunita Resort and we had a massage or facial every day. It was soooo relaxing. I've never been to Tahoe but it looks beutiful. Have a wonderful respite, my friend, you deserve it.

P.S. The last time we saw Leon Russell was at the Warehouse in New Orleans in about 1971? I can barely remember that concert ;-) but I think we had a blast!!!!

Sorry, double post


Sorry, double post

DianeBC

Heatherbelle said:

Hi Diane,
It stirred the
Hi Diane,
It stirred the feelings in me also. I just completed my chemo 6 weeks ago, and had a hard time transitioning to a "new normal" - and fear of reoccurence was heavy in my mind & heart. Then as I'm finally starting to be at peace with myself we hear of Elizabeth's passing. Then I have to keep my confidence up as I'm talking with my mom (who is still having chemo for her breast cancer) - and telling her that Elizabeth Edwards has passed away, and talking with my husband & daughter that yes, people can die from this disease. It brings thr fears up front & center, you just have to try your best not to let them take over.
*hugs*
Heather

You sisters are amazing! I
You sisters are amazing! I have read your posts over and over and even had my husband read them. He thinks you are all awesome! By reading what you wrote, he even understands better now. I hope you don't mind.

My fear seems better as I am so encouraged by what has been written. I realize that if I continue to worry about a recurrence, that it will only take away my happiness for the day.

So, I am going to pull up my big girl pants and get through this. Mainly, by the help of my dear, sweet husband and my sisters in pink on here.


Thank you and I love you all,


Diane

Different Ballgame

No fear
Diane,

"I have no fear." That is exactly what I told my new hematology oncologist last week when she told me that she was keeping me off Arimidex for one more month and that I should be safe from having a cancer growth develop.

At the young age of 16 years old, I saw what damage the mind could do to a body and I swore that I would never allow my mind to control my body that way. I also recognized how strong and powerful the mind is. For the next 6+ months I trained my mind not to worry. In my case, whenever I worried it was when I was sitting down, doing nothing but watching TV. When I found myself worrying, I got up from the couch and did something that required concentration. Every time I worried, that is exactly what I did. I did an action forcing my mind to concentrate on that action which did not leave room for any other thought.

I did get a recurrence 2-12 years after my mastectomy and finished radiation in January 2010. Today, I am fine with no further evidence of cancer within my body. Next month I will be 70 years. I tell people that there is a life after cancer. With my whole heart and soul I believe that I will live to my 90's. That belief is what gives me no fear. And if another cancer cell pops up, we will take care of it, and I will continue to live to the ripe age of 90.

I know most people do not think like me, but if I can give you another thought for you to consider and possibly adopt, then I have accomplished a good thing,

One final comment. I am so impressed with how tuned in your husband is regarding you and your reactions. He loves and cares for you deeply.

Lots of Hugs,
Janelle

Ritzy

lizzie17 said:

your husband
What a blessing your husband is for you. Yes, it stirs up fear, and it is still with me today. I guess it never goes away, it just subsides at times.

Like Lizzie wrote, your
Like Lizzie wrote, your husband is a blessing. How wonderful that he called after he heard of her death and then came home so quickly to be with you.


I cried, as most of you did, when I heard the news, but, I didn't hang on to that scary feeling very long. I know if I did, that it would also dredge up all of those bad memories and put the fear in me again, and, I choose to not let it.


I feel so sorry for her family and pray for them. I also pray for each and every one of us. But, I refuse to let cancer steal any more of my life.


I pray that with every new day, you will feel better Diane.


Sue

MAJW

IT Slaps us in the face.......
It has made me terribly sad......I live just 35 miles from the Edwards, so it has been almost 24/7 coverage here about Elizabeth's death.....her funeral is going to be televised locally...

I think it's important to remember that her original diagnosis was stage III.....she freely admitted she had not had a mammogram in almost 5 years, which she greatly regretted.....
she was in an advanced stage of BC when originally diagnosed. I don't think it has ever been reported exactly what type of bc she had...not that it matters....

I've often wondered if it had anything to do with all the fertility drugs and treatment she had in order to conceive her two younger children at age 48 and 50......again, not that it matters......

I try my best to not think about the what ifs.......I had no control of getting BC in the first place and I can't control a recurrence.......I just try to live as normally as possible...

God Rest Elizabeth's soul....

Peace be with each of my "sisters"

Eil4186

I understand how you feel.
I understand how you feel. When she had her first recurrence I remember feeling very anxious, and fearful. Her death effectedme in two ways also. I am very sad for her and her children. I am also feeling that old nagging worry of a recurrence rearing its ugly head again. I found myself this morning in the car, hearing my surgeon's voice over and over ; "If it comes back, it will take your life."

He is a very caring, empathetic doctor, and when I was diagnosed, I was a wreck, asking him questions and pressing him about what would happen if I had a recurrence. He was being honest, which was what I wanted.

I think that we have to find ways to deal with these feelings. A coworker just lost her sister to breast cancer. She had BC 15 years ago and it recurred a year ago. I was so sorry for her family, but in addition I was scared as well.

We have to find a way to live and be happy despite the fear of BC.